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"I have set on the box, man and boy," said Bat, looking straight a-head between his leaders, a matter of full thirty year, and what's more, never missing a day-barring the Friday I was married; and of my remarks is-I never see a sailor in top-boots." "Now I think of it, Bat," said I, a little disconcerted at my windfall from the tree of knowledge, "I have had some experience in travelling myself, and certainly do not recollect such a phenomenon."

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"I'll take my oath you haven't," said Bat, giving the near leader a little switch of self-satisfaction, “I once driv the Phenomenon myself. There's no such thing in nature. And I'll tell you another remarkable remark I've made through life-I never yet see a Jew Pedlar with a Newfoundland dog."

"As for that, Bat," said I, perhaps willing to retort upon him a little of my own disappointment," though I cannot call such a sight to mind-I will not undertake to say I have never met with such an association."

"If you have, you're a lucky man," said Bat, somewhat sharply, and with a smart cut on the wheeler ; "I belong to an association too, and we've none of us seen it. There's a hundred members, and I've inquired of every man of 'em, for it's my remark. But some people see a deal more than their fellows. Mayhap you've seen the other thing I've observed through life, and that's this-I've never observed a black man driving a long stage."

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"Never, Bat," said I, desiring to conciliate him, never in the whole course of my stage practice; and for many years of my life I was a daily visitant to Richmond.”

"And no one else has ever seen it," said Bat. "That's a correct remark, anyhow. As for Richmond, he never drove a team in his life, for I asked him the question myself, just after his fight with Shelton."

THE CONTRAST.

"I HOPE the Leviathan is outward-bound," I ejaculated, half aloud, as I beheld the Kit-Kat portion of the Man-Mountain occupying the whole frame of the coach-window. But Hope deceived as usual; and in he came.

I ought rather to have said he essayed to come in,-for it was only after repeated experiments upon material substances, that he contrived to enter the vehicle edgeways,-if such blunt bodies may be said to have an edge at all. As I contemplated his bulk, I could not help thinking of the mighty Lambert, and was ready to exclaim with Gratiano, "a Daniel! a second Daniel!"

The Brobdignaggian had barely subsided in his seat, when the opposite door opened, and in stepped a Lilliputian! The conjunction was whimsical. Yonder, thought I, is the Irish Giant, and the other is the dwarf, Count Borulawski. This coach is their travelling caravan-and as for myself, I am no doubt the showman.

I was amusing myself with this and kindred fancies, when a hand suddenly held up something at the coach window. "It's my luggage," said the Giant, with a small penny-trumpet of a pipe, and taking possession of a mere golden pippin of a bundle.

"The three large trunks and the biggest carpet-bag are my property," said the Dwarf, with a voice as unexpectedly stentorian.

"Warm day, Sir," squeaked the Giant, by way of small talk.

"Prodigious preponderance of caloric in the atmosphere," thundered the Dwarf, by way of big talk.

"Have you paid your fare, gentlemen?" asked the coachman, looking in at the door.

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THE GREAT MAIL CONTRACTOR.

"I have paid half of mine," said the Stupendous, "and it's booked. My name is Lightfoot."

"Mine is Heavyside," said the Pigmy, "and I have disbursed the sum total."

The

The door slammed-the whip cracked-sixteen horse-shoes made a clatter, and away bowled the New Safety; but had barely rolled two hundred yards, when it gave an alarming bound over some loose paving stones, followed by a very critical swing. The Dwarf, in a tone louder than ever, gave vent to a prodigious oath; the Giant said, "Dear me!" There will something come of this, said I to myself; so, feigning sleep, I leaned back in a corner, with a wary ear to their conversation. The Gog had been that morning to the Exhibition of Fleas, in Regentstreet, and thought them "prodigious!" The Runtling had visited the Great Whale at Charing-Cross, and "thought little of it." Goliah spoke with wonder of the "vast extent of view from the top of the Monument." The David was "disappointed by the prospect from Plinlimmon." The Hurlothrumbo was "amazed by the grandeur of St. Paul's." The Tom Thumb spoke slightingly of St. Peter's at Rome. In theatricals their taste held the same mathematical proportion. Gog "must say he liked the Minors best." The "Wee Thing" declared for the Majors. The Man-Mountain's favourite was Miss Foote twelve inches. The Manikin preferred Miss Cubitt = eighteen. The conversation, and the contrast, flourished in full flower through several stages, till we stopped to dine at the Salisbury Arms, and then

The Folio took a chair at the ordinary-
The Duodecimo required "a room to himself."
The Puppet bespoke a leg of mutton-
The Colossus ordered a mutton-chop.
The Imp rang the bell for "the loaf".
The Monster called for a roll.

A magnum of port was decanted for the Minimum.

A short pint of sherry was set before the Maximum.

We heard the Mite bellowing by himself, "The Sea! the Sea! the open Sea!"

The Mammoth hummed "The Streamlet."

The Tiny, we learned, was bound to Plimpton Magna.

The Huge, we found, was going to Plimpton Parva.

A hundred other circumstances have escaped from Memory through the holes that time has made in her sieve: but I remember distinctly, as we passed the bar in our passage outwards, that while

The Pigmy bussed the landlady-a buxom widow, fat, fair, and fortyThe Giant kissed her daughter-a child ten years old, and remarkably small for her age.

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He thought her fairest of all fares,

So fondly love prefers;
And often, among twelve outsides,

Deemed no outside like hers.

One day as she was sitting down

Beside the porter-pump-
He came, and knelt with all his fat,
And made an offer plump.

Said she, my taste will never learn

To like so huge a man,

So I must beg you will come here
As little as you can.

But still he stoutly urged his suit,

With vows, and sighs, and tears,
Yet could not pierce her heart, altho'
He drove the Dart for years.

In vain he wooed, in vain he sued;
The maid was cold and proud,
And sent him off to Coventry,
While on his way to Stroud.
He fretted all the way to Stroud,

And thence all back to town,
The course of love was never smooth,
So his went up and down.

At last her coldness made him pine
To merely bones and skin,
But still he loved like one resolved
To love through thick and thin.
Oh Mary, view my wasted back,
And see my dwindled calf;
Tho' I have never had a wife,
I've lost my better half.

Alas, in vain he still assail'd,

Her heart withstood the dint;
Though he had carried sixteen stone
He could not move a flint.

Worn out, at last he made a vow
To break his being's link;
For he was so reduced in size
At nothing he could shrink.
Now some will talk in water's praise,
And waste a deal of breath,
But John, tho' he drank nothing else-
He drank himself to death.

The cruel maid that caused his love,
Found out the fatal close,

For looking in the butt, she saw,
The butt-end of his woes.

Some say his spirit haunts the Crown,
But that is only talk-
For after riding all his life,
His ghost objects to walk.

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"From the sublime to the ridiculous is but a step."

Alarming news from the country-awful insurrection at Stoke PogisThe Military called out-Flight of the Mayor.

WE are concerned to state, that accounts were received in town at a late hour last night, of an alarming state of things at Stoke Pogis. Nothing private is yet made public; but report speaks of very serious Occurrences. The number of killed is not known, as no despatches have been received.

Further Particulars.

Nothing is known yet; papers have been received down to the 4th of November, but they are not up to anything.

Further further Particulars.

(Private Letter.)

It is scarcely possible for you, my dear Charles, to conceive the difficulties and anarchical manifestations of turbulence, which threaten and disturb your old birth-place, poor Stoke Pogis. To the reflecting mind, the circumstances which hourly transpire afford ample food for speculation and moral reasoning. To see the constituted authorities of a place, however mistaken or misguided by erring benevolence, plunging into a fearful struggle with an irritated, infuriated, and I may say,

F

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