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Or in the small Olympic Pit, sit split

Laughing at Liston, while you quiz his phiz.

Anon Night comes, and with her wings brings things
Such as, with his poetic tongue, Young sung;
The gas up-blazes with its bright white light,
And paralytic watchmen prowl, howl, growl,
About the streets and take up Pall-Mal Sal,
Who, hasting to her nightly jobs, robs fobs.

Now thieves to enter for your cash, smash, crash,
Past drowsy Charley, in a deep sleep, creep,
But frighten'd by Policeman B. 3, flee,

And while they're going, whisper low, "No go!"

Now puss, while folks are in their beds, treads leads,
And sleepers waking, grumble-"Drat that cat!"
Who in the gutter caterwauls, squalls, mauls
Some feline foe, and screams in shrill ill-will.

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Now Bulls of Bashan, of a prize size, rise
In childish dreams, and with a roar gore poor
Georgy, or Charley, or Billy, willy-nilly ;-
But Nursemaid in a nightmare rest, chest-press'd,
Dreameth of one of her old flames, James Games,

And that she hears-what faith is man's-Ann's banns

And his, from Reverend Mr. Rice, twice, thrice:
White ribbons flourish, and a stout shout out,

That upward goes, shows Rose knows those bows' woes!

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A LETTER FROM A MARKET GARDENER TO THE SECRETARY OF THE HORTICULTURAL SOCIETY.

SIR,

The Satiety having Bean pleasd to Complement Me before I beg Leaf to lie before Them agin as follow in particullers witch I hop They will luck upon with a Sowth Aspic.

Sir-last year I paid my Atentions to a Tater & the Satiety was pleasd to be gratifid at the Innlargement of my Kidnis. This ear I have turnd my Eyes to Gozberris.-I am happy to Say I have allmost sucksidid in Making them too Big for Bottlin. I beg to Present sum of itch kind-Pleas obsarve a Green Goose is larger in Siz then a Red Goosebry. Sir as to Cherris my atention has Bean cheafly occupid by the Black Arts. Sum of them are as big as Crickt Balls as will be seen I send a Sample tyed on a Wauking-stick. I send lickwise a Potle of stray berris witch I hop will reach. They air so large as to object to lay more nor too in a Bed. Also a Potle of Hobbies and one of my new Pins, of a remarkably sharp flaviour. I hop they will cum to Hand in time to be at your Feat. Respective Black red & White Currency I have growd equely Large, so as one Bunch is not to be Put into a Galley Pot without jamming. My Pitches has not ben Strong, and their is no Show on My Walls of the Plumb line. Damsins will Be moor Plentifle & their is no Want of common Bullies about Lunnon. Please inform if propper to classify the Slow with the creepers. Concerning Graps I have bin recommanded by mixing Wines with Warter Mellons, the later is improved in its juice-but have douts of

the fack.

Of the Patgonian Pickleing Coucumber, I hav maid Trial of, and have hops of Growing one up to Markit by sitting one End agin my front dore. On account of its Proggressiveness I propos calling it Pickleus Perriginatus if Aproved of.

Sir, about Improving the common Stocks.-Of Haws I have some hops but am disponding about my Hyps. I have quite faled in cultuvating them into Cramberris. I have allso atempted to Mull Blackberis, but am satisfid them & the Mulberris is of diferent Genius. Pleas observe of Aples I have found a Grafft of the common Crab from its Straglin sideways of use to Hispalliers. I should lick to be infourmd weather Scotch Granite is a variety of the Pom Granite & weather as sum say so pore a frute, and Nothing but Stone.

Sir,-My Engine Corn
has been all eat up by
the Burds namely Rocks
and Ravines. In like
manner I had a full
Shew of Pees but was
distroyd by the Sparers.
There as bean grate
Mischef dun beside by
Entymollogy-in some
parts a complet Patch
of Blight. Their has
bean a grate Deal too of
Robin by boys and men
picking and stealing but
their has bean so many
axidents by Steel Traps
I don't like setting on
'em.

Sir I partickly wish the

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Satiety to be called to considder the Case what follows, as I think mite be maid Transaxtionable in the next Reports :

My Wif had a Tomb Cat that

dyd. Being a torture Shell and a Grate feverit, we had Him berrid in the Guardian, and for the sake of inrichment of the Mould I had the carks deposeted under the roots of a Gosberry Bush. The Frute being up till then of the smooth kind. But the next Seson's Frute after the Cat was berrid, the Gozberris was all hairy.

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& moor Remarkable the Catpilers of the same bush, was All of the same hairy Discription. I am Sir Your humble servant

THOMAS FROST.

DOMESTIC ASIDES; OR, TRUTH IN PARENTHESES.

"I really take it very kind, This visit, Mrs. Skinner!

I have not seen you such an age(The wretch has come to dinner!)

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'Your daughters, too, what loves of girls

What heads for painters' easels!
Come here and kiss the infant, dears,-
(And give it prhaps the measles!)

"Your charming boys I see are home
From Reverend Mr. Russels;
'Twas very kind to bring them both,-
(What boots for my new Brussels!)

"What! little Clara left at home?
Well now I call that shabby:
I should have lov'd to kiss her so,-
(A flabby, dabby, babby!)

"And Mr. S., I hope he's well,
Ah! though he lives so handy,
He never now drops in to sup,-
(The better for our brandy!)

"Come, take a seat-I long to hear
About Matilda's marriage;
You're come of course to spend the
day!-

(Thank Heav'n, I hear the carriage!)

"What! must you go? next time I hope
You'll give me longer measure;
Nay-I shall see you down the stairs-
(With most uncommon pleasure!)

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ALL at once Miss Morbid left off sugar.

She did not resign it as some persons lay down their carriage, the full-bodied family-coach dwindling into a chariot, next into a fly, and then into a sedan-chair. She did not shade it off artistically, like certain household economists, from white to whitey brown, brown, dark-brown, and so on, to none at all. She left it off, as one might leave off walking on the top of a house, or on a slide, or on a plank with a further end to it, that is to say, slapdash, all at once, without

a moment's warning. She gave it up, to speak appropriately, in the lump. She dropped it,-as Corporal Trim let fall his hat,-dab. It vanished, as the French say, toot sweet. From the 30th of November, 1830, not an ounce of sugar, to use Miss Morbid's own expression, ever "darkened her doors."

The truth was she had been present the day before at an AntiSlavery Meeting; and had listened to a lecturing Abolitionist, who had drawn her sweet tooth, root and branch, out of her head. Thence

forth sugar, or as she called it “ shugger," was no longer white, or brown, in her eyes, but red, blood-red-an abomination, to indulge in which would convert a professing Christian into a practical Cannibal. Accordingly she made a vow, under the influence of moist eyes and refined feelings, that the sanguinary article should never more enter her lips or her house; and this petty parody of the famous Berlin Decree against our Colonial produce was rigidly enforced. However others might countenance the practice of the Slave Owners by consuming "shugger," she was resolved for her own part, that "no suffering sable son of Africa should ever rise up against her out of a cup of Tea!"

In the mean time, the cook and housemaid grumbled in concert at the prohibition: they naturally thought it very hard to be deprived of a luxury which they enjoyed at their own proper cost; and at last only consented to remain in the service, on condition that the privation should be handsomely considered in their wages. With a hope of being similarly remembered in her will, the poor relations of Miss Morbid continued to drink the "warm without," which she administered to them every Sunday, under the name of Tea: and Hogarth would have desired no better subject for a picture than was presented by their physiognomies. Some pursed up their lips, as if resolved that the nauseous beverage should never enter them; others compressed their mouths, as if to prevent it from rushing out again. One took it mincingly, in sips,-another gulped it down in desperation,—a third, in a fit of absence, continued to stir very superfluously with his spoon; and there was one shrewd old gentleman, who by a little dexterous by-play, used to bestow the favour of his small souchong on a sick geranium. Now and then an astonished Stranger would retain a half cupful of the black dose in his mouth, and stare round at his fellow guests, as if tacitly putting to them the very question of Mathews's Yorkshireman in the mail coach-" Coompany!-oop or doon ?"

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The greatest sufferers, however, were Miss Morbid's two nephews, still in the morning of their youth, and boy-like, far more inclined to sip the sweets" than to "hail the dawn." They had formerly looked on their Aunt's house as peculiarly a Dulce Domum. Prior to her sudden conversion she had been famous for the manufacture of a sort of hard bake, commonly called Toffy or Taffy,—but now, alas! "Taffy was not at home," and there was nothing else to invite a call. Currant tart is tart indeed without sugar; and as for the green

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