temperament, and whose eyes are concealed by a pair of green spectacles, produces the necessary document, and reads in the orthodox manner "Thirtieth Half-yearly Report of the Society for the Distribution of Blankets and Top-Boots to the Natives of the Cannibal Islands. "The society having now reached its fifteenth anniversary, the committee of management beg to congratulate their friends and subscribers on the success that has been attained. "When the Society first commenced its labors, the gener ous and noble-minded natives of the islands, together with their King—a chief whose name is well known in connection with one of the most sterling and heroic ballads of this country attired themselves in the light but somewhat insufficient costume of their tribe-viz, little before, nothing behind, and no sleeves, with the occasional addition of a pair of spectacles; but now, thanks to this useful association, the upper classes of the Cannibals seldom appear in public without their bodies being enveloped in blankets, and their feet encased in top-boots. "When the latter useful articles were first introduced into the islands, the society's agents had a vast amount of trouble to prevail upon the natives to apply them to their proper purpose; and, in their work of civilization, no less than twenty of its representatives were massacred, roasted, and eaten. But we persevered; we overcame the natural antipathy of the Cannibals to wear any covering to their feet; until, after a time, the natives discovered the warmth and utility of boots; and now they can scarcely be induced to remove them until they fall off through old age. "During the past half-year, the society has distributed no less than 71 blankets and 128 pairs of top-boots; and your committee, therefore, feel convinced that they will not be accused of inaction. But a great work is still before them; and they earnestly invite co-operation, in order that they may be enabled to supply the whole of the Cannibals with these comfortable, nutritious and savory articles. "As the balance sheet is rather a lengthy document, I will merely quote a few of the figures for your satisfaction. We have received, during the last half-year, in subscriptions, donations, and legacies, the sum of 5,4037. 6s. 83d. We have disbursed for advertising, &c., 2221. 6s. 2d. Rent, rates, and taxes, 3057. 10s. Old. Seventy-one pairs of blankets, at 208. per pair, have taken 717. exactly; and 128 pairs of top-boots, at 21s. per pair, cost us 1347. some odd shillings. The salaries and expenses of management amount to 1,3077. 4s. 24d.; and sundries, which include committee. meetings and traveling expenses, have absorbed the remainder of the sun, and amount to 32687. 98. 1d. So that we have expended on the dear and interesting Cannibals the sum of 2057. and the remainder of the sum-amounting to 5,1987.-has been devoted to the working expenses of the society." The reading concluded, the secretary resumes his seat, amid hearty applause, which continues until Mr. Alderman Gobbleton rises, and, in a somewhat lengthy and discursive speech-in which the phrases, "the Corporation of the City of London," "suit and service," "ancient guild," "liberties and privileges," and "Court of Common Council," figure frequently, states that he agrees with everything the noble. chairman has said; and has, moreover, never listened to a more comprehensive and exhaustive document than the one just read; which is calculated to satisfy even the most obtuse and hard-headed of individuals. Gobbleton is a great man in the city. He has either been lord mayor, or sheriff, or something of the sort; and, as a few words of his go a long way with his friends and admirers, his remarks are very favorably received. "Clever man, Gobbleton!" says a common councilman, sitting near us, to his neighbor, a languid swell of the period. "Ya-as, vewy! Wemarkable style of owatowy-gweat fluency," replies the other. But attention, if you please!-for M. Hector de Longuebeau, the great French writer is on his legs. He is staying in England for a short time, to become acquainted with our manners and customs. "MILORS AND GENTLEMANS!" commences the Frenchman, elevating his eyebrows and shrugging his shoulders. "Milors and Gentlemans-You excellent chairman, M. le Baron de Mount-Stuart, he have say to me, 'Make de toast.' Den I say to him dat I have no toast to make; but he nudge my elbow ver soft, and say dat dere is von toast dat nobody but von Frenchman can make proper; and, derefore, wid your kind permission, I vill make de toast. De brevete is de 6 sole of de feet,' as you great philosophere, Dr. Johnson, do say, in dat amusing little vork of his, de Pronouncing Dictionaire; and, derefore, I vill not say ver mooch to de point. Ven I vas a boy, about so moch tall, and used for to promenade de streets of Marseilles et of Rouen, vid no feet to put onto my shoe, I nevare to have expose dat dis day vould to have arrive. I vas to begin de vorld as von garcon —or, vat you call in dis countrie, von vataire in a café-vere I vork ver hard, vid no habilimens at all to put onto myself, and ver little food to eat, excep' von old bleu blouse vat vas give to me by de proprietaire, just for to keep myself fit to be showed at; but, tank goodness, tings dey have change ver moch for me since dat time, and I have rose myself, seulement par mon industrie et perseverance. (Loud cheers.) Ah! mes amis! ven I hear to myself de flowing speech, de oration magnifique of you Lor' Maire, Monsieur Gobbledown, I feel dat it is von great privilege for von étranger to sit at de same table, and to eat de same food, as dat grand, dat majestique man, who are de terreur of de voleurs and de brigands of de metropolis; and who is also, I for to supposé, a halterman and de chef of you common scoundrel. Milors and gentlemans, I feel dat I can perspire to no greataire. honneur dan to be von common scoundrelman myself; but, helas! dat plaisir are not for me, as I are not freeman of your great cité, not von liveryman servant of von of you compagnies joint-stock. But I must not forget de toast. Milors and Gentlemans! De immortal Shakispeare he have write, 'De ting of beauty are de joy for nevermore.' It is de ladies who are de toast. Vat is more entrancing dan de charmante smile, de soft voice de vinking eye of de beautiful lady! It is de ladies who do sweeten de cares of life. ladies who are de guiding stars of our existence. It is de ladies who do cheer but not inebriate, and derefore, vid all homage to dere sex, de toast dat I have to propose is, 'De Ladies! God bless dem all!'" It is de And the little Frenchman sits down amid a perfect tempest of cheers. A few more toasts are given, the list of subscriptions is read, a vote of thanks is passed to the noble chairman; and the Fifteenth Annual Festival of the Society for the Distribution of Blankets and Top-Boots among the Natives of the Cannibal Islands is at an end. LITCHFIELD MOSLEY. IRISH ASTRONOMY. A VERITABLE MYTH, TOUCHING THE CONSTELLATION OF O'RYAN, IGNORANTLY AND FALSELY SPELLED ORION. O'RYAN was a man of might Whin Ireland was a nation, And sartin sure his aim was; And would n't mind the game laws, St. Pathrick wanst was passin' by And, as the saint felt wake and dhry, No rasher will I cook for you O'Ryan gave his pipe a whiff,- So, to conclude my song aright, |