Pagina-afbeeldingen
PDF
ePub

a high slipper, and painted with strong as we can suppose it to have hieroglyphics. The whole body been the first day it was appliedScarce any of the muscular parts

is swathed with fillets, or narrow bands of linen, beginning with

SO

a

der."

Humour.

were preserved, except upon the the head and ending with the thighs; and even those, upon feet, which are wound round in touching them, crumbled to powcurious and inimitable manner, with so many casts and turnings, and so often one upon another, that it is supposed there are seldom less than a thousand ells of filleting about one body. Those especially which cover the head and face are so neatly done, that they do not hinder us from perceiving the shape of the eyes, nose, and mouth, though they are hid from the sight. On the breast is a sort of breast-plate, made with folds of linen cut scollop-wise, richly painted and gilt; on which is sometimes the face of a woman with her arms expanded.

When Milton was blind, he married a shrew. The Duke of Buck"I am ingham called her a rose. no judge of colours," replied Mil"and it may be the thorns every day."

ton,

so,

for I feel

On the Odyssey and Iliad of Homer. A party of Gents. having met once to dine,

The cloth being moved, of course took their wine,

That

among them one Omer, who, alas! drank so free,

a Wag to a Friend observed,
Omer's odd-y-see.

Poor Omer, alas! being no longer able
To sit, and enjoy himself at the table,
Got up, left the room, and look'd so

wretchedly bad,
That the friend of the Wag rejoined,
Omer's ill-i-ad.

Upon opening one of the coffins, we found the head of the Mummy And full of a composition of the consistence, colour, and smell of pitch, but something more fragrant; which must, as Herodotus intimates, have been injected through the nostrils; to which end, as well as for the easier extraction of the brain, we found, upon examination, that the Septum medium of the nose had been taken away. Having unfolded the bandage, that part of it which more immediately surrounded the body was quite rotten, and would not bear handling without falling to pieces, whereas a great number of yards of the exterior part appeared as

G. BECLE.

Expensive Gallantry.-Among the fucetic of Charles the Second's days, it was the custom when a gentleman drank a lady's health as a toast, by way of doing her greater honour, to throw some

manner of work, &c."-Mr. Harvey replied, "very true friend, but there is another passage that

of his dress into the fire, an example which his companions were bound to follow, by consuming the same article of their apparel, what- seems to have escaped your recolever it might be. An acquaint-lection, which says, 'Make your ance, perceiving at a tavern din-calling and election sure,''

ނ

Ready Wit.-A young man seeing an old woman driving asses in the streets of Paris, said,

t

ner, that Sir Charles Sedley (the gay licentious wit and versifier) had a very rich lace cravat, when he named his toast, committed his cravat to the flames, as a burnt offering to the temporary divinity; Adieu! mother of asses." and Sir Charles was of course "Adieu! adieu! my son," anobliged, along with the rest, to swered she. do the same. He complied with good humour, saying it was a joke, but that he would have as good a one another day.-Accordingly, at a subsequent meeting of the same party, he toasted Nell Gwynne; and calling in a tooth-drawer he had in waiting,

made him draw a decayed tooth which it was a blessing to lose. His companions begged him to be merciful, and wave the custom; but he was inexorable, and added to their mortification by repeating,

while their sound teeth were suffering under the operation,-"Patience, patience, gentlemen; you know I promised you I would have my frolic too."

Election Repartée.-Mr. Hatvey, formerly M.P. for Colchester, canvassed a quaker on a Sunday, who reprehended him for working on that sacred day, and referred him to the passage in Holy Writ, which says, "Thou shalt do no

An Expensive Job.-A gentleman passing a country church while under repairs, observed to one of the workmen, that he thought it would be an expensive job.

"Why yes," replied he, "but in my opinion we shall accomplish what our reverend divine has endeavoured to do for the last thirty years in vain."-" What is that?" said the gentleman. "Why bring all the parish to repentance."

[blocks in formation]

ficient philosophy to endure this neglect of his powers; for losing all patience in the tent scene he exclaimed with emphasis, "I'll forth and walk a while," and very composedly went home to supper.

State affairs.-A countryman passing along the Strand, saw a coach overturned, asking what was the matter, he was told, that three or four members of parliament were overturned in a coach. "Oh," says he, "there let them be, my father always advised me not to meddle with state affairs."

Lord Norbury once saw a wit

ness make his appearance with one
cheek much swelled and ob-
very

served to Solicitor-General Bush,
"He showed evident proof of his
qualifications for the bar." "How
so, my Lord ?" said the witty Soli-
citor-General. "Why don't you
see," observed his Lordship, "how
well furnished he is with jaw?"
"It is however equally clear, my
Lord, how it unfits him for the
bench.' How so,
Mr. Solicitor?"
Why, my lord, it is all on one
side."

66

99.66

WONDERFUL PROPHET.

There is now to be seen in the City of Oxford, a most strange and wonderful prophet, whose ge

;

neration was in the world before Adam and in the ark with Noah, and with Christ when crucified he wears a crown on his head, and his beard is the colour of vermillion, which is seldom if ever cut; he goes barefooted summer and winter, like a friar: he wears a coat that is neither wove, knit, or spun, neither is it. made with hands; nor is it silk, woollen, cotten, or hair, yet it is of an exceeding glossy colour; he walks with neither sword, cane, staff, nor gun, but he has sufficient weapons to defend himself with, yet he puts up with many insults, which he does not revenge either by word or deed; he can neither write or read, yet he is

well skilled in both ancient and modern languages; he is understood by all nations and by all people.-He careth not for the pomp and vanity of this world but may look daily when he is to be martyred, he never sleepeth in a bed or chair, neither doth he pull off his clothes summer or winter, yet he would rather sleep in a barn than in a king's palace. He is a constant keeper of Lent, seldom drinketh any thing but water, and it is thought he is more inclined to popery than to protestantism. He believeth not in the resurrection of the dead, yet there is no article in the christian faith which he denieth.

Query. Who is he?

I. S.

Poetry.

To the Editor of the Oxford Entertaining Miscellany.

SIR,

You are welcome to the following trifle from my ScrapBook (if it pleases,) for your spirited and interesting Publication.

AURORA,

A MATIN SONG.

O'er yon beetling cliffs afar
Phoebus wheels his golden car;
Bashful twilight steals away
From the dazzling God of day;
Blue-eyed morning starts from
sleep,

Blushing, yet her rest to keep;
And fair nature, earth to bless,
Smiles in all her loveliness.

'Tis the mild and soothing hour When, their last light slumbers breaking,

(Ere the world resumes its pow'r)
Health, and innocence, are waking:
Gladness guides their nimble feet
From the green embow'r'd retreat;
Up the mountain's steepy side
Swift the blooming maidens glide,
Clearer visions, from the skies,
Quicken in their sparkling eyes,
And a purer blush they wear,
From the kiss of mountain air:
Where they tread, the flowrets gay
Scatter dew-drops in their way,
Dearer each than twinkling gem
On a regal diadem.

Yes, when lovely flowrets bending,
Drop the lucid tears of morn,
Monarchs all their jewels blending,
Cannot thus their crowns adorn.

[blocks in formation]

Where is fashion's giddy throng
Who the Bacchic rites prolong,
Or the mazy dance entwine
Round the foot of folly's shrine?
-Guilt has slunk to sleepless bed;
Pride has bowed his fevered head;
Sealed is yet the tyrant's sight
From the scathing glance of light;
And the miser's dreaming brain
Counts his treasures o'er again :
They that quaff wine's madd'ning
bowl

Forge the fetters of the soul;
They that dance the night away,
Rest of all its balm beguiling,
List not to the larks sweet lay
When the merry morn is smiling.

Oxford, June 25, 1824.

H. H. H.

To a lady supposed to be Consump-| To the Editor of the Orford Enter.

tive.

Well, Eliza! thou art about to wave This dull insipid scene, and none may tell

What beatific brightness there may dwell

In thy hereafter:- -thou wilt leave A world of woes, and sad unsleep

ing cares,

Whose cankering nature, mind and form impairs;

As blighted buds, the loveliest blossoms chill.

So the griev'd mind, the fairest form-yet still

They must be borne, and may be blessings, where

taining Miscellany.

[blocks in formation]

To an ignorant priest, quoth his prelate severe,

"Away with such blockheads! fool, what dost thou here?

They wean the heart, and for a better "What an ass of a bishop in orders

world prepare.

Oh, may this lot be thine,-thy only

fear

put thee?"

"Your Lordship," said Hodge, with a humble congee!

Absorb'd in faith triumphant,—and "Good ale makes all men sleek be

[blocks in formation]
[blocks in formation]

TO CORRESPONDENTS. Numerous communications have been received since our last, which will meet with early attention.

The Editors venture to hope they shall be favoured with the further contributions of "Clio."

"Amicus," "Robin Hood's Well," Poetry by "N." and "A. B." will not suit the Miscellany.

"Nicholas," "A Subscriber," and "Asper," in our next.

"Emerald," is any thing but a Poet, we recommend him Prose.

Communications bearing no signatures cannot be noticed.

The despicable Animal, who signs himself" John Bull," will find a letter addressed to him on applica ion at our Publisher's.

Printed and Published by F. Trash, Oxford.

« VorigeDoorgaan »