But the vices of the company went against the two littery men, and every body excep them was for having up poor me. The bell was wrung; butler came. "Send up Charles," says master; and Charles, who was standing behind the skreand, was persnly abliged to come in.

"Charles," says master, "I have been telling these gentlemen who is the author of the 'Yellowplush Correspondence,' in Frazer's Magazine."

"It's the best magazine in Europe," says the duke.

"And no mistake," says my lord.

"Hwat!" says Larner; "and where's the Litherary Chran?" I said myself nothink, but made a bough, and blusht like pickle cabbitch.

"Mr. Yellowplush," says his grace, "will you, in the first place, drink a glass of wine?"

I boughd agin.

"And what wine do you prefer, sir? humble port or imperial burgundy?"

"Why, your grace," says I, "I know my place, and aint above kitchin wines. I will take a glass of port, and drink it to the health of this honrabble compny."

When I'd swiggd off the bumper, which his grace himself did me the honour to pour out for me, there was a silints for a minnit; when my master said :

"Charles Yellowplush, I have perused your memoirs in Frazer's Magazine with so much curiosity, and have so high an opinion of your talents as a writer, that I really cannot keep you as a footman any longer, or allow you to discharge duties for which you are now quite unfit. With all my admiration for your talents, Mr. Yellowplush, I still am confident that many of your friends in the servants' hall will clean my boots a great deal better than a gentleman of your genius can ever be expected to do-it is for this purpose that I employ footmen, and not that they may be writing articles in magazines. But-you need not look so red, my good fellow, and had better take another glass of port-I don't wish to throw you upon the wide world without means of a livelihood, and have made interest for a little place which you will have under government, and which will give you an income of eighty pounds per annum, which you can double, I presume, by your literary labours."

"Sir," says I, clasping my hands, and busting into tears, "do not for Heaven's sake, do not!-think of any such thing, or drive me from your suvvice, because I have been fool enough to write in magaseens: Glans but one moment at your honor's plate-every spoon is as bright as a mirror; condysend to igsa

mine your shoes-your honour may see reflected in them the fases of every one of the company. I blacked them shoes, I cleaned that there plate. If occasionally I've forgot the footman in the litterary man, and committed to paper my remindicencies of fashnabble life, it was a sincere desire to do good, and promote nollitch: and I appeal to your honour,--I lay my hand on my busm, and in the fase of this noble company beg you to say, When you rung your bell, who came to you fust? When you stopt out at Brooke's till morning, who sate up for you? When you was ill, who forgot the natral dignities of his station, and answered the two pair-bell? O, sir," says I, "I know what's what; don't send me away. I know them littery chaps, and, bleave me, I'd rather be a footman. The work's not so hardthe pay is better: the vittels incomparybly supearor. I have but to clean my things, and run my errints, and you put clothes on my back, and meat in my mouth. Sir! Mr. Bulwig! an't I right? shall I quit my station and sink-that is to say, rise-to yours."

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Bullwig was violently affected; a tear stood in his glistening i. 66 Yellowplush," says he, seizing my hand, you are right. Quit not your present occupation; black boots, clean knives, wear plush, all your life, but don't turn literary man. Look at

I am the first novelist in Europe. I have ranged with eagle wing over the wide regions of literature, and perched on every eminence in its turn. I have gazed with eagle eye on the sun of philosophy, and fathomed the mysterious depths of the human mind. All languages are familiar to me, all thoughts are known to me, all men understood by me. I have gathered wisdom from the honeyed lips of Plato, as we wandered in the gardens of Acadames-wisdom, too, from the mouth of Job Johnson, as we smoked our 'backy in Seven Dials. Such must be the studies, and such is the mission, in this world, of the Poet-Philosopher. But the knowledge is only emptiness; the initiation is but misery; the initiated, a man shunned and bann'd by his fellows. O," said Bullwig, clasping his hands, and throwing his fine i's up to the chandelier, "the curse of Pwometheus descends upon his wace. Wath and punishment pursue them from genewation to genewation! Wo to genius, the heaven-scaler, the fire-stealer! Wo and thrice bitter desolation! Earth is the wock on which Zeus, wemorseless, stwetches his withing victim-men, the vultures that feed and fatten on him. Ai, Ai! it is agony eternal— gwoaning and solitawy despair! And you, Yellowplush, would penetwate these mystewies; you would waise the awful veil, and stand in the Twemendous Pwesence. Beware; as you value your peace, beware! Withdwaw, wash Neophyte! For Heaven's

sake-O, for Heaven's sake!" here he looked round with agony _66 give me a glass of bwandy and water, for this clawet is beginning to disagwee with me."

Bullwig having concluded this spitch, very much to his own sattasfackshn, looked round to the compny for aplaws, and then swigged off the glass of brandy and water, giving a sollum sigh as he took the last gulph; and then Doctor Ignatius, who longed for a chans, and, in order to shew his independence, began flatly contradicting his friend, and addressed me, an the rest of the genlmn present, in the following manner :

"Hark ye," says he, "my gossoon, doant be led asthray by the nonsince of that divl of a Bullwig. He's jillous of ye, my bhoy; that's the rale undoubted thruth; and it's only to keep you out of litherary life that he's palavering you in this way: I'll tell ye what-Plush, ye blackguard,-my honarable frind, the mimber there, has told me a hunder times by the smallest computation of his intinse admiration for your talents, and the wontherful sthir they were making in the worlld, he can't bear a rival. He's mad with envy, hathred, oncharatableness. Look at him, Plush, and look at me. My father was not a juke exackly, nor aven a markis, and see, nevertheliss, to what a pitch I am come. I spare no ixpinse; I'm the iditor of a cople of pariodicals; I dthrive about in me carridge; I dine wide the lords of the land; and why-in the name of the piper that pleed before Mosus, hwy? Because I'm a litherary man. Because I know how to play me cards. Because I'm Docther Larner, in fact, and mimber of every society in and out of Europe. I might have remained all my life in Thrinity Colledge, and never made such an incom as that offered you by Sir Jan; but I came to London-to London, my boy, and now, see! Look again at me, friend Bullwig. He is a gentleman, to be sure, and bad luck to 'im, say I; and what has been the result of his litherary labour? I'll tell you what, and I'll tell this gintale society, by the shade of Saint Patrick, they're going to make him A BARINET."

"A BARNET, Doctor!" says I; " you don't mean to say they're going to make him a barnet?"

"As sure as I've made meself a docthor," says Larner. "What, a baronet, like Sir John?"

66 The divle a bit else."

"And pray what for?"

"What faw!" says Bullwig "Ask the histowy of litewatuwe what faw? Ask Colburn, ask Bentley, ask Saunders and Otley, ask the gweat Bwitish nation, what faw? The blood in my veins comes puwified thwough ten thousand years of chivalwous ancestwy; but that is neither here nor there; my political prin

ciples-the equal wights which I have advocated-the gweat cause of fweedom that I have celebwated, are known to all. But this, I confess, has nothing to do with the question. No, the question is this-on the thwone of litewature I stand unwivalled, pwe-eminent; and the Bwitish government, honowing genius in me, compliments the Bwitish nation by lifting into the bosom of the heweditawy nobility, the most gifted member of the democwacy." (The honrabble genlm here sunk down amidst repeated chairs.)

"Sir John," says i, "and my lord duke, the words of my revrint frend, Ignatius, and the remarks of the honrabble genlmn who has just sate down, have made me change the detummination which I had the honor of igspressing just now.

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"I igsept the eighty pound a-year; knowing that I shall have plenty of time for pursuing my littery cereer, and hoping some day to set on that same bentch of barranites, which is deckarated by the presnts of my honrabble friend.

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Why shooden I?" It's trew I aint done anythink as yet to deserve such an honor; and it's very probable that I never shall. But what then?-qwaw dong, as our friends say. I'd much rayther have a coat of arms than a coat of livry. I'd much rayther have my blud-red hand spralink in the middle of a shield, than underneath a teatry. A barranit I will be, and, in consquints, must cease to be a footmin."

"As to my politticle princepills, these, I confess, aint settled: they are, I know, nessary; but they aint nessary until askt for; besides, I reglar read the Sattarist newspaper, and so ignirince on this pint would be inigscusable.

"But if one man can git to be a doctor, and another a barranit, and another a capting in the navy, and another a countess, and another the wife of a governor of the Cape of Good Hope, I begin to perseave that the littery trade aint such a very bad un; igspecially if you're up to snough and know what's o'clock. I'll learn to make myself usefle, in the fust place; then I'll larn to spell; and, I trust, by reading the novvles of the honrabble member, and the scientafick treatiseses of the revrend doctor, I may find the secrit of suxess, and git a litell for my own share. I've sevral frends in the press, having paid for many of those chaps' drink, and given them other treets; and so I think I've got all the emilents of suxess; therefore, I am detummined, as I said, to igsept your kind offer, and beg to withdraw the wuds which I made yous of when I refyoused your hoxpatable offer. I must however--"

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"I wish you'd withdraw yourself," said Sir John, busting into a most igstrorinary rage, "and not interrup the company with

your infernal talk! Go down, and get us coffee; and, heark ye! hold your impertinent tongue, or I'll break every bone in your body. You shall have the place, as I said; and while you're in my service you shall be my servant; but you don't stay in my service after to-morrow. Go down stairs, sir; and don't stand staring here!"

In this abrupt way, my evening ended: it's with a melanchely regret that I think what came of it. I don't wear plush any more. Iam an altered, a wiser, and, I trust, a better man.

I'm about a novvle (having made great progriss in spelling), in the style of my friend Bullwig; and preparing for publigation, in the Doctor's Cyclopedear, The Lives of Eminent Brittish and Foring Washerwomen.

EPISTLES TO THE LITERATI.

CH-S Y-LL-WPL-SH, ESQ. TO SIR EDWARD LYTTON BULWER, BT. JOHN THOMAS SMITH, ESQ. TO C—S Y—H, ESQ.

NOTUS.

THE Suckmstansies of the folloing harticle are as follos : Me and my friend, the sellabrated Mr. Smith, reckonised each other in the Haymarket Theatre, during the paformints of the new play. I was settn in the gallery, and sung out to him (he was in the pit), to jine us after the play, over a glass of bear and a cold hoyster, in my pantry, the famly being out.

Smith came as appinted. We descorsed on the subjick of the comady; and, after sefral glases, we each of us agread to write a letter to the other, giving our notiums of the pease. Paper was brought that momint; and Smith writing his harticle across the knife-bord, I dasht off mine on the dresser.

Our agreement was, that I (being remarkabble for my style of riting) should cretasize the languidge, whilst he should take up with the plot of the play; and the candied reader will parding me for having holtered the original address of my letter, and directed it to Sir Edward himself; and for having incopperated Smith's remarks in the midst of my own.

"Mayfair, Nov. 30, 1839. Midnite. HONRABBLE BARNET!-Retired from the littery world a year or moar, I didn't think anythink would injuice me to come forrards again; for I was content with my share of reputation, and pro