My next was a Newfoundland brute, So truly he back'd I always fell into the water. I once had a sheep-dog for guide, His worth did not value a button; A Smithfield Ducrow, To stand on four saddles of mutton. My next was an Esquimaux dog, A dog that my bones ache to talk on, On cold frosty days He pick'd out the slides for a walk on. Bijou was a lady-like dog, But vex'd me at night not a little, She would not go home, Her tail had once trail'd a tin kettle. I once had a sort of a Shock, And kiss'd a street post like a brother, In learning this truth— One blind cannot well lead another. A terrier was. far from a trump, He had one defect, and a thorough, 'Od rabbit the cur! Without going into the Borough. My next was Dalmatian, the dog! Till I came upon boards that were spiky. The next that I had was from Cross, And once was a favourite spaniel And so I was led Right up to his den like a Daniel. I once had a dog that went mad, And a man with a gun Pepper'd me when he ought to have shot him. THE KANGAROOS. A FABLE. A PAIR of married kangaroos As all the little K.'s just then are- A twist in each parental muzzle So much the flavour of life's cup And yet they had no squeamish carings For they had no armorial bearings. Whoe'er has seen their infant young Bob in and out their mother's pokes, Would own, with very ready tongue, It kept the old pair watchful nightly, And go through life (like them) uprightly. Arms would not do at all; no, marry, In that line all his race miscarry ; The law-why there still fate ill-starr'd him, In music he could scarce engage. He would not make a rigging-mounter; A lady chose To ask him for a yard of ferret! A gardener digging up his beds, The puzzled parents shook their heads. “A tailor would not do because—” Some parish post,-though fate should place it Before him, how could he embrace it? In short each anxious Kangaroo And in the night Of course they saw their way no clearer! Or hinder elbows if you please— It came no thought was ever brighter! In weighing every why and whether, They jump'd upon it both together— "Let's make the imp a short-hand writer !” MORAL. I wish all human parents so Would argue what their sons are fit for; Some would-be critics that I know Would be in trades they have more wit for. LITERARY REMINISCENCES. No. II. To do justice to the climate of "stout and original Scotland," it promised to act kindly by the constitution committed to its care. The air evidently agreed with the natives; and auld Robin Grays and John Andersons were plenty as blackberries, and Auld Lang Syne himself seemed to walk, bonneted amongst these patriarchal figures in the likeness of an old man covered with a mantle. The effect on myself was rather curious-for I seemed to have come amongst a generation that scarcely belonged to my era; mature spinsters, waning bachelors, very motherly matrons, and experienced fathers, that I should have set down as uncles and aunts, called themselves my cousins; reverend personages, apparently grandfathers and grandmothers, were simply great uncles and aunts: and finally I enjoyed an interview with a relative oftener heard of traditionally, than encountered in the body-a great-great grandmother-still a tall woman and a tolerable pedestrian, going indeed down the hill, but with the wheel well locked. It was like coming amongst the Struidbrugs; and truly, for any knowledge to the contrary, many of these Old Mortalities are still living, enjoying their sneeshing, their toddy, their cracks, and particular reminiscences. The very phrase of being "Scotch'd, but not killed," seems to refer to this Caledonian tenacity of life, of which the well-known Walking Stewart was an example : he was an annuitant in the County-office, and as the actuaries would say, died very hard. It must be difficult for the teatotallers to reconcile this longevity with the imputed enormous consumption of ardent spirits beyond the Tweed. Scotia, according to the evidence of Mr. Buckingham's committee, is an especially drouthie bodie, who drinks whiskey at christenings, and at buryings, and on all possible occasions besides. Her sons drink not by the hour or by the day, but by the week, witness Souter Johnny : "Tam lo'ed him like a vera brither, Swallowing no thin washy potation, but a strong overproof spirit, with a smack of smoke-and "where there is smoke there is fire," yet without flashing off, according to temperance theories, by spontaneous combustion. On the contrary, the canny northerns are noted for soundness of constitution and clearness of head, with such a strong principle of vitality as to justify the poetical prediction of C***, **, that the world's longest liver, or Last Man, will be a Scotchman. All these favourable signs I duly noted; and prophetically refrained FF |