Tho' I think sad-but that's a schism-
To witness so much pauperism-
Suppose, I say, the Bishop then, to make
In this poor overcrowded world more room,
Proposed to shake

Down that immense extinguisher, the dome--
Some humane Martin in the charity Gal-way
I fear would come and interfere,
Save beadle, brat, and overseer,
To walk back in their parish shoes,
In too, too many two-and-twos,
Islington-Wapping-or Pall Mall way!

Thus, people hatch'd from goose's egg,
Foolishly think a pest, a plague,

And in its face their doors all shut,

On hinges oil'd with cajeput

Drugging themselves with drams well spiced and cloven, And turning pale as linen rags

At hoisting up of yellow flags,

While you and I are crying "Orange Boven!"
Why should we let precautions so absorb us,
Or trouble shipping with a quarantine-
When if I understand the thing you mean,
We ought to import the Cholera Morbus !

A GOOD DIRECTION.

A CERTAIN gentleman, whose yellow cheek
Proclaimed he had not been in living quite
An Anchorite-

Indeed, he scarcely ever knew a well day;
At last, by friends' advice, was led to seek
A surgeon of great note-named Aberfeldie.
A very famous Author
upon Diet,
Who, better starr'd than Alchemists of old,
By dint of turning mercury to gold,

Had settled at his country house in quiet.

Our Patient, after some impatient rambles
Thro' Enfield roads, and Enfield lanes of brambles,
At last, to make inquiry had the nous,—

Here, my good man,

Just tell me if you can,

Pray which is Mr. Aberfeldie's house?"
The man thus stopp'd-perusing for a while
The yellow visage of the man of bile,
At last made answer, with a broadish grin :
"Why, turn to right-and left and right agin,
The road's direct-you cannot fail to go it."

"But stop! my worthy fellow !-one word more From other houses how am I to know it!"

“How !—why you'll see blue pillars at the door!"

AN ANCHORITE. 19

THE consulter of Johnson's Dictionary under the term of Sport, or Sporting, would be led into a great mistake by the Doctor's definition. The word, with the great Lexicographer, signifies nothing but Diversion, Amusement, Play :-but I shall submit to the reader, with a few facts, whether it has not a more serious connexion, or to speak technically, whether it should be Play or Pay.

When I was a young man, having a good deal of ready money, and little wit, I went upon the Turf. I began cautiously, and as I thought, knowingly. I studied the stud-book, and learnt the pedigree of every new colt-yet somehow, between sire and dam, continually losing "the pony." My first experiment was at Newmarket. By way of securing a leading

article, I backed the Duke of Leeds, but the race came off, and the Duke was not placed. I asked eagerly who was first, and was told Forth. The winner was a slow but strong horse, and I was informed had got in front by being a laster. This was a puzzle, but I paid for my Riddlesworth, and prepared for the Derby. By good luck I selected an excellent colt to stand uponhe had been tried-it was a booked thing

but the day before the

SWEEPSTAKES:-"EVERY JENNY HAS A JOCKEY."

Derby there was a family wash, and the Laundress hung her wet linen

on his lines. I paid again. I took advice about the Oaks, and instead of backing a single horse, made my stand, like Ducrow, upon four at once. No luck. Terror did not start-Fury came roaring to the post-Belle was told out, and Comet was tail'd off. I paid again— and began dabbling in the Sweepstakes, and burning my fingers with the Matches. Amongst others, a bet offered that I conceived was peculiarly tempting, 20,000 to 20 against Post Obit-a bad horse indeed, yet such odds seemed unjustifiable, even against "an outsider." But I soon found my mistake. The outsider was in reality an insider, -filling the stomachs of somebody's hounds.-Pay again! I resolved however to retaliate, and the opportunity presented itself. I had been confidently informed that Centipede had not a leg to stand on, and accordingly laid against him as thick as it would stick. The following was the report of the race: Centipede jumped off at a tremendous pace, had it all his own way-and justified his name by coming in a hundred feet in front.'-Pay again! These "hollow" matters however fretted me little, save in pocket. They were won easy, and lost to match-but the near things" were unbearable. To lose only by half a head,-a few inches of horse-flesh! I remember two occasions when Giraffe won by "a neck," and Elephant by a nose." I was almost tempted to blow out my brains by the nose, and to hang myself by the neck!

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On one of those doubtful occasions, when it is difficult to name the winner, I thought I could determine the point, from some peculiar advantage of situation, and offered to back my opinion. I laid that Cobbler had won, and it was taken; but a signal from a friend decided me that I was wrong, and by way of hedge, I offered to lay that Tinker was the first horse. This was taken like the other, and the Judges declared a dead rob-I mean to say a dead heat.-Pay again!

A likelier chance next offered. There was a difference of opinion, whether Bohea would start for the Cup, and his noble owner had privately and positively assured me that he would. I therefore betted freely that he would run for the Plate, and he walked over!-Pay again! N. B. I found

when it was too late,

that I should not have paid in this case, but I did.

The Great St. Leger was still in reserve. Somewhat desperate, I betted round, in sums of the same shape, and iny best winner became first favourite at the start. Never shall I forget the sight! I saw

him come in ten lengths a-head of everything-hollow! hollow! I

had no voice to shout with, and it was fortunate. Man and horse went, as usual, after the race, to be weighed, and were put into the scale. They rose a little in our eyes, and sunk proportionably in our estimation. Roguery was sniffed-the Jockey Club was appealed to, and it gave the stakes to the second horse. All bets went with the stakes, and so-Pay again!

It was time to cut the turf-and I was in a mood for burning it too. I was done by Heath, but the impression on my fortune was not in the finished style.

a

I now turned my attention to aquatics, and having been unfortunate at the One Tun, tried my luck in a vessel of twenty. I became member of a Yacht Club, made matches which I lost-and sailed for a Cup at the Cowes' Regatta, but carried away nothing but my own bowsprit. Other boats showed more speed, but mine most bottom; for after the match it upset, and I was picked up by a party of fishermen,

who spared my life and took all I had, by way of teaching me, that a preserving is not a saving.-Pay again!

It was time to dispose of The Lucky Lass. I left her to the mate, with peremptory orders to make a sale of her ;-an instruction he fulfilled by making all the sail on her he could, and disposing of herby contract to a rock, while he was threading the Needles. In the meantime I betook myself to the chase. Sir W. W. had just cut his pack, and I undertook to deal with the dogs :-but I found dog's meat a dear item, though my friends killed my hunters for me, and I boil'd my own horses. The subscribers, moreover, were not punctual, and whatever differences fell out, I was obliged to make them up.-Pay again! At last I happened to have a dispute with a brother Nimrod as to the capability of his Brown and mine, and we agreed to decide their respective rates, as church rates, by a Steeple Chase. The wager was heavy. I rode for the wrong steeple -leapt a dozen gates-and succeeded in clearing my own pocket.Pay again!

It was now necessary to retrench. I gave up hunting the county, lest the county should repay it in kind, for I was now getting into its debt. I laid down my horses and took up a gun, leased a shooting-box, and rented a manor, somewhat too far north

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