Lady D. One at once.

Bird. I have brought your Ladyship the finest monkey

Syl. What a filthy thing it is!

Lady D. Now I think he looks very humourous and agreeable-I vow, in a white periwig he might do mifchief. Could he but talk and take fnuff, there's ne'er a fop in town would go beyond him.

Syl. Moft fops would go farther if they did not speak; but talking, indeed, makes them very often worse company than monkies.

Lady D. Thou pretty little picture of man ! very Indian he looks! I could kiss the dear creature. Syl. Ah, don't touch him! he'll bite!

How

Bird. No, Madam, he is the tamest you ever saw, and the least mischievous.

Lady D. Then take him away, I won't have him; for mifchief is the wit of a monkey; and I would not give a farthing for one that would not break me three or four pounds worth of china in a morning. Oh, I am in love with these Indian figures!-Do but obferve what an innocent natural fimplicity there is in all the actions of them.

Chi. These are pagods, Madam, that the Indians worfhip.

Lady D. So far I am an Indian.

Syl. Now, to me they are all monsters.

Lady D. Profane creature!

Chi. Is your Ladyfhip for a piece of right Flanders lace?

Lady D. Um-no; I don't care for it, now it is not prohibited.

Ind. Will your Ladyship be pleased to have a pound of fine tea?

Lady D. What, filthy, odious bohea, I fuppofe?
Ind. No, Madam, right Kappakawawa.

Lady D. Well, there's fomething in the very found of that name, that makes it irresistible.

pound.

Ind. But fix guineas, Madam.

What is it a

Lady D. How infinitely cheap! I'll buy it all-Situp, take the man in and pay him, and let the reft call again

to-morrow.

C 2

Omnes.

Omnes. Blefs your Ladyship.

[Exeunt Sit. Chi. Ind. and Bird. Lady D. Lord, how feverish I am!-the least motion does fo diforder me- do but feel me.

Syl. No, really, I think you are in very good temper. Lady D. Burning, indeed, child.

Enter Servant, Doctor, and Apothecary.

Serv. Madam, here's Doctor Bolus, and the Apothe

cary.

[Exit. Lady D. Oh, Doctor, I'm glad you're come! one is not fure of a moment's life without you.

Dr. How did your Ladyship reft, Madam ?

[Feels her pulle. Lady D. Never worse, indeed, Doctor: I once fell into a little flumber, indeed; but then was difturbed by the most odious, frightful dream, that if the fright had not wakened me, I had certainly perished in my fleep, with the apprehenfion.

Dr. A certain fign of a difordered brain, Madam ; but I'll order fomething that fhall compofe your Ladyfhip.

Lady D. Mr. Rhubarb, I must quarrel with you you don't disguise your medicines enough; they taste all phyfic.

Rhub. To alter it more might offend the operation, Madam.

Lady D. I don't care what is offended, so my taste is

nor.

Dr. Hark you, Mr. Rhubarb, withdraw the medicine, rather than to make it pleasant: I'll find a reason for the want of its operation.

Rhub. But, Sir, if we don't look about us, fhe'll grow well upon our hands.

Dr. Never fear that; fhe's too much a woman of quality to dare to be well without her doctor's opinion.

Rhub. Sir, we have drained the whole catalogue of difeafes already; there's not another left to put in her head.

Dr. Then I'll make her go them over again.

Enter Carelefs.

Care. So, here's the old levee, doctor and apothecary in clofe confultation! Now will I démolish the quack and his medicines before her face-Mr. Rhu

barb,

barb, your fervant. Pray, what have you got in your

hand there?

Rhub. Only a julep and compofing draught for my Lady, Sir.

Care. Have you fo, Sir? Pray, let me fee-I'll prefcribe to-day. Doctor, you may go-the lady fhall take no phyfic at prefent but me.

Dr. Sir

Care. Nay, if you won't believe me—

Lady D. Ah!

[Breaks the phials. [Frighted, and leaning upon Syl. Dr. Come away, Mr. Rhubarb-he'll certainly put her out of order, and then she'll fend for us again. [Ex. Doctor and Apoth. Care. You fee, Madam, what pains I take to come into your favour.

Lady D. You take a very prepofterous way, I can tell you, Sir.

Care. I can't tell how I fucceed; but I am fure I endeavour right; for I ftudy every morning new impertinence to entertain you for fince I find nothing but dogs, doctors, and monkies are your favourites, it is very hard if your Ladyship won't admit me as one of the

number.

Lady D. When I find you of an equal merit with my monkey, you fhall be in the fame ftate of favour. I confefs, as a proof of your wit, you have done me as much mischief here. But you have not half Pug's judg ment, nor his fpirit; for the creature will do a world of pleafant things, without caring whether one likes them

or not.

Care. Why, truly, Madam, the little gentleman, my rival, I believe, is much in the right on't: and, if you obferve, I have taken as much pains of late to difoblige, as to please you.

Lady D. You fucceed better in one than t'other, I can tell you, Sir.

Care. I am glad on't; for if you had not me now and then to plague you, what would you do for a pretence to be chagrine, to faint, have the ipleen, the vapours, and all those modifh disorders that fo nicely distinguish a woman of quality?

C 3

Lady

Lady D. I am perfectly confounded-Certainly there are fome people too impudent for our refentment.

Care. Modefty's a ftarving virtue, Madam, an old threadbare fashion of the laft age, and would fit as oddly upon a lover now, as a picked beard and mustachios. Lady D. Moft aftonishing!

Care. I have tried fighing and looking filly a great while, but 'twould not do-nay, had you had as little wit as good-nature, fhould have proceeded to dance and fing. Tell me but how, what face or form can worship you, and behold your votary.

of

Lady D. Not, Sir, as the Perfians do the fun, with your face towards me. The best proof you can give me your horrid devotion, is never to fee me more. Come, my dear. [Exit with Sylvia. Syl. I'm amazed fo much affurance fhould not fucceed.

[Exit. Care. All this fhan't make me out of love with my virtue-Impudence has ever been a fuccefsful quality, and 'twould be hard, indeed, if I should be the first that did not thrive by it. [Exito

SCENE, Clerimont's Lodgings.

Enter Atall, and Finder, bis Man.

At. You are fure you know the house again? Fin. Ah, as well as I do the upper gallery, Sir! 'Tis Sir Solomon Sadlife's, at the two glafs lanthorns, within three doors of my Lord Duke's.

At. Very well, Sir-then take this letter, enquire for my Lady Sadlife's woman, and stay for an answer. Fin. Yes, Sir.

[Exit. At. Well, I find 'tis as ridiculous to propofe pleasure in love without variety of miftreffes, as to pretend to be a keen sportsman without a good stable of horses. How this lady may prove I can't tell; but if she is not a deedy tit at the bottom, I'm no jockey.

Re-enter Finder.

Fin. Sir, here are two letters for you.
At. Who brought them?

Fin. A couple of footmen, and they both defire an

anfwer.

At. Bid them stay, and do you make haste where I ordered you.

[Exit.

Fin. Yes, Sir. At. To Col. Standfast-that's Clarinda's hand—Tọ Mr. Freeman-that must be my incognita. Ah, I have most mind to open this first! but if t'other malicious creature fhould have perverted her growing inclination to me, 'twould put my whole frame in a tremblingHold, I'll guefs my fate by degrees-this may give me. a glimpse of it. [Reads Clar. letter.] Um-umHa! To meet her at my Lady Sadlife's at feven o'clock to-night, and take no manner of notice of my late difowning myself to her-Something's at the bottom of all this-Now to folve the riddle. [Reads t'other letter.]

-um

"My coufin Clarinda has told fome things of you that very much alarm me; but I am willing to fufpend my belief of them till I fee you, which I defire may be at my La. dy Sadlife's at feven this evening."-The devil! the fame place! As you value the real friendship of your

Incognita." So, now the riddle's out-the rival queens are fairly come to a reference, and one or both of them I must lose, that's pofitive-Hard!

Enter Clerimont.

Hard fortune! Now, poor Impudence, what will become of thee? Oh, Clerimont, fuch a complication of adventures fince I faw thee! fuch fweet hopes, fears, and unaccountable difficulties, fure never poor dog was furroun-ded with.

Cler. Oh, you are an induftrious perfon! you'll get over them. But, pray, let's hear.

At. To begin, then, in the climax of my misfortunes: in the first place, the private lodgings that my Incognita appointed to receive me in, prove to be the very individual habitation of my other iniftrefs, whom (to complete the blunder of my ill luck) the civilly introduced in perfon, to recommend me to her better acquaintance.

Cler. Ha, ha! Death! how could you stand them both together?

At. The old way-buff-I ftuck like a burr to my name of Freeman, addrefs'd my incognita before the other's face,. and with a most unmov'd good-breeding, harmlessly faced her down I had never seen her in my life before.

Cler