Clar. But to expect to be always received with a smile, 'I think, is having a very extraordinary opinion of one's merit.

Cler. We differ a little as to fact, Madam : for these ten days past, I have had no distinction, but a severe reservedness. You did not use to be so sparing of your ood-hu mour; and while I see you gay to all the world ut me, I can't but be a little concerned at the change.

Clar. If he has discovered the Colonel now, I'm un. done! he could not meet him, sure. -I must humour him a little. [Aside.] Men of your fincere temper, Mr. Clerimont, I own, don't always meet with the usage they deserve : but women are giddy things, and had we no errors to answer for, the ufe of good-nature in a lover would be lost. Vanity is our inherent weakness : you must not chide, if we are sometimes fonder of your par. fions than your prudence.

Cler. This friendly condescension makes me more your flave than ever. Oh, yet be kind, and tell me, have I been tortured with a groundless jealousy?

Clar. Let your own heart be judge -but don't take it ill if I leave you now I have fome earnest business with my cousin Sylvia : but to-night at my Lady Dainty's I'll make you amends; you'll be there.

Cler. I need not promise you.

Clar. Your servant.--Ah, how easily is poor fincerity imposed on! Now for the Colonel.

(Afde. Exit. Cler. This unexpected change of humour more ftirs my jealousy than all her late severity. I'll watch her close ;

For the that from a just reproach is kind,
Gives more suspicion of her guilty-mind,
And throws her siniles, like dust, to strike the lover


End of the SECOND Act.


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Аст III.
SCENE, Lady Dainty's Apartment: a table, with phials,

gallipots, glasses, &c.
Lady Dainty, and Situp her woman,

ITUP ! Situp!

Sit. Madam!
Lady D. Thou art ftrangely flow; I told thee the
hartshorn; I have the vapours to that degree !
Sit. If your Ladyship would take my

advice should e'en fling your physic out of the window; if

you were not in perfect health in three days, I'd be bound to be fick for

you. Lady D. Peace, goody impertinence! I tell thee, no woman of quality is, or should be in perfect health Huh, huh! (Coughs faintly.) To be always in health is as vulgar as to be always in humour, and would equally betray one's want of wit and breeding : where are the fellows? Sit. Here, Madam

Enter two Footmen. Lady D. Cæsar!-run to my Lady Roundfides; defire to know how the rested; and tell her the violence of my cold is abated : huh, huh! Pompey, step you to my Lady Killchairman's ; give my service; say, I have been so embarrassed with the spleen all this morning, that I am under the greatest uncertainty in the world, whether I shall be able to stir out, or no-And, d’ye hear; defire to know how my Lord does, and the new monkey

[Exeunt Footmen, Sit. In my conscience, these great ladies make them-, selves fick to make themselves business; and are well or ill, ceremony to one another.

[ Afide. Lady D. Where's t'other fellow ? Sit. He is not returned yet, Madam.

Lady D. 'Tis indeed a strange lump, not fit to carry a disease to any body; I sent him t'other day to the duchess of Diet-Drink with the colic, and the brute put it into his own tramontane language, and called it the belly-ach.

Sit. I wish your Ladyship had not occafion to send for any; for my part


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Lady D. Thy. part !prythee, thou wert made of the rough masculine kind; 'tis betraying our sex not to be fickly and tender. All the families I visit have fome. thing derived to them from the elegant nice state of in. disposition ; you see, even in the men, a genteel, as it were, stagger, or twine of the bodies; as if they were not yet confirmed enough for the rough laborious exer. cife of walking, • a lazy faunter in their motion, fome• thing fo quality! and their voices so soft and low, you'd

think they were falling afleep, they are so very delicate.

Sit. But, methinks, Madam, it would be better if * the men were not altogether fo tender.

Lady D. Indeed, I have sometimes wished the crea• tures were not, but that the niceness of their frame fo • much distinguishes them from the herd of common • people :' nay, even moft of their diseases, you fee, are not prophaned by the crowd: the apoplexy, the gout, and vapours, are all peculiar to the nobility.-Huh, huh ! and I could almost with, that colds were only ours ;

- there's something in them fo genteel, so agreeably disordering-huh, huh!

Sit. That, I hope, I shall never be fit for themYour Ladyship forgot the spleen.

Lady D. Oh my dear fpleen, I grudge that even to some of us.

Sit. I knew an ironmonger's wife, in the city, that was mightily troubled with it.

Lady D. Foh! What a creature haft thou named! An ironmonger's wife have the spleen! Thou mightest as well have said her husband was a fine gentleman Give me something.

Sit. Will your LadyMip please to take any of the fteel drops ? or the bolus ? or the ele&tary? or

Lady D. This wench will smother me with questions, -huh, huh! bring any of them these healthy fluts are so boisterous, they split one's brains : I fancy myself in an inn while the talks to me; I must have some des cayed person of quality about me; for the commons of England are the ftrangest creatures-huh, huh!

Enter Servant. Serv. Mrs. Sylvia, Madam, is come to wait upon your Ladyship.


Lady D. Defire her to walk in; let the physic alone I'll take a little of her company; she's mighty good for the spleen.

Enter Sylvia.
Syl. Dear Lady Dainty !
Lady D. My good creature, I'mn overjoyed to see you

huh, huh!
Syl. I am sorry to see your Ladyship wrapt up thus ; I
was in bopes to have had your company to the Indian

Lady D. If any thing could tempt me abroad, 'twould be that place, and such agreeable company; but how came you, dear Sylvia, to be reconciled to any thing in an Indian house ? you used to have a most barbarous inclination for our own odious manufactures.

Syl. Nay, Madam, I am only going to recruit my teatable: as to the rest of their trumpery, I am as much out of humour with it as ever.

Lady D. Well thou art a pleasant creature, thy distaite is so diverting

Syl. And your Ladyship is so expensive, that really I am not able to come into it.

Lady D. Now it is to me prodigious! how some women can muddle away their money upon houswifery, children, books, and charities, when there are so many well-bred ways, and foreign curiosities, that more elegantly require it-I have every morning the rarities of all countries brought to me, and am in love with

every new thing I fee.- Are the people come yet, Situp?

Sit. They have been below, Madam, this half hour.

Lady D. Dispose them in the parlour, and we'll be there prefently

[Exit Sit.
Syl. How can your Ladyship take such pleasure in be.
ing cheated with the bawbles of other countries ?
Lady D. Thou art a very infidel to all-finery.
Syl. And you are a very bigot
Lady D. A person of all reason, and no complaisance,
Syl. And your Ladyship all complaisance, and no reason.
Lady D. Follow me, and be converted. [Exeunt.

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Re-enter Situp, a Woman with china ware; an Indian

man with screens, tea, &c. a Birdman with a paroquet, monkey, &c. Sit. Come, come into this room.

Chi. I hope your Ladyship’s lady won't be long in coming

Sit. I don't care if she never comes to you. It seems you trade with the ladies for old clothes, and give them china for their gowns and petticoats, I'm like to have a fine time on't with such creatures as you indeed!

Chi. Alas, Madain, I'm but a poor woman, and am forced to do any thing to live: will your. Ladyship be pleased to accept of a piece of china?

Sit. Puh! no;“I don't care. Though I must needs say you look like an honest woman, [Looks on it.

Chi, Thank you, good Madam.

Sit. Our places are like to come to a fine pass indeed, if our ladies must buy their china with our perquifites: at this rate, my lady ma'n't have an old fan, or a glove; but

Chi, Pray, Madain, take it.

Sit. No, not I; I won't have it, especially without a faucer to't. Here, take it again.

Chi. Indeed you shall accept of it.

Sit. Not I, truly-come, give it me, give it me; here's my lady

Enter Lady Dainty and Sylvia. Lady D. Well, my dear, is not this a pretty fight now?

Syl. It's better than so many doctors and apochecaries, indeed.

Lady D. All trades must live you know; and those no more than these could subfift, if the world were all wise, or healthy.

Syl. I'm afraid our real diseases are but few to our imaginary, and doctors get more by the found than the fickly.

Lady D. My dear, you're allowed to say any thing but now I must talk with the people. any thing new there?

Ind. Yes, an't please your Ladyship.


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