« VorigeDoorgaan »
but I want a mistress. I am willing to be lewd ; but the
Enter Elvira veiled.
Elv. Face about, man ; you a soldier, and afraid of the enemy!
Lor. I must confess, I did not expect to have been charged first. I fee fouls will not be loit for want of die ligence in this devil's reign. [-Afick. ]-Now, Madam Cynthia behind a cloud, your will and pleasure with me?
Elo. You have the appearance of a cavalier; and if you are as deserving as you feem, perhaps you may not repent of your adventure. If a lady like you well enough to hold discourse with you at first light, you are gentle. man enough, I hope, to help her out with an apology, and to lay the blame on stars, or destiny, or what you please, to excuse the frailty of a woman.
Lor: Oh, I love an easy woman! there's such a-do to crack a thick-thellid mistress; we break our teeth, and find no kernel. 'Tis generous in you to take pity on a stranger, and not to suffer hin to fall into ill hands' at his first arrival.
Elv. You have a better opinion of me than I deserve. You have not seen me yer ; and therefore I ain confident you are heart-whole.
Lor. Not absolutely flain, I must confess; but I am drawing on apace. You have a dangerous tongue in your head, I can tell you that; and if your eyes prove of as killing metal, there's but one way with me. Let me see you, for the safe-guard of my honour: 'tis but decent the cannon should be drawn down upon me before I yield.
Elv. What a terrible fimilitude have you made, CoIonel, to shew that you are inclining to the wars ! I could answer you with another in my profetson. Suppose you were in want of money ; would you not be glad to take a fum upon content in a sealed bag, without peeping ? But, however, I will not stand with you for a sample.
(Lifts up her veil. Lor. What eyes were there! how keen their glances !
do well to keep them veiled: they are too sharp to be truited out of the scabbard.
Elv. Perhaps, now, you may accuse my forwardness : but this day of jubilee is the only time of freedom I have had; and there is nothing fo extravagant as a prisoner, when he gets loose a little, and is immediately io return to his fetters.
Lor. To confefs freely to you, Madam, I was never in love with less than your whole sex before: but now I have seen you, I am in the direct road of languishing and sighing; and, if love goes on as it begins, for ought I know, by to.morrow morning you may hear of me in rhyme and sonnet. I tell you truly, I do not like these symptoms in myself. Perhaps I may go fhufflingly at first; for I was never before walked in trammels : yet I fhall drudge and moil at constancy, till I have worn off the hitching in my pace.
Elv. Oh, Sir, there are arts to reclaim the wildest men, as there are to make spaniels fetch and carry! chide thein ofien, and feed them seldom. Now I know your temper, you may thank yourself if you are kept to hard meat you are in for years, if you make love to me.
Lor. I hate a formal obligation, with an anno domini at the end on't: there may be an evil meaning in the word years, called matrimony.
Elv. I can easily rid you of that fear : I wish I could rid myself as eafily of the bondage,
Lor. Then you are married ?
Elv. If a covetous, and a jealous, and an old man be a husband,
Lor. Three as good qualities for my purpose as I could with. Now, Love be praised !
Enter Elvira's Duenna, and whispers to ber. Elv. Afide.) If I get not home before my husband, I fall be ruin'd [To him.] I dare not stay to tell you where-Farewel-Could I once more
[Exit. Lor. This is unconscionable dealing: to be made a Nave, and not know whose livery I wearam -Who have we yonder ?
Enter Gomez. By that shainbling in his walk, it should be my rich old
banker, Gomez, whom I knew at Barcelona. As I livs 'tis he! [To Gom.] What, old Mammon here ?
Gom. How ! young Belzebub?
Lor. What devil has set his claws in thy haunches, and brought thee hither to Saragofia ? Sure he meant a farther journey with thee.
Gom. I always remove before the enemy: when the Moors are ready to besiege one town, I shist my quarters to the next; I keep as far from the infidels as I can.
Lor. That's but a hair's breadth at farthest,
Gom. Well, you have got a famous victory; all true subjects are overjoyed at it: there are bonfires decreed ; an the times had not been so hard, my billet should have burnt too.
Lor. I dare fay for thee, thou haft such a respect for a single billet, that thou would'It almost have thrown on thyself to save it; thou art for saving every thing but
Gom. Well, well, you'll not believe ine generous till I carry you to the tavern, and crack half a pint with you at my own charge.
Lor. No; I'll keep thee from hanging thyself for such an extravagance; and instead of it, thou fált do me a mere verbal courtesy: I have just now seen a most in, comparable young lady.
Gom. Whereabouts did you see this most incomparable young lady?My mind misgives me plaguily,
[-Afíde. Lor. Here, man, just before this corner house: pray Heaven it prove no bawdy-house.
Gom. [Afide.] Pray Heaven he does not make it one.
Lor. What dost thou mutter to thyself? Hast thou any thing to say against the honesty of that house ?
Gom. Not 1, Colonel, the walls are very honest stone, and the timber very honest wood, for ought I know; but for the woman
cannot say, till I know her better. De. scribe her perfon, and if the live in this quarter I may give you tidings of her.
Lor. She's of a middle stature, dark-colour'd hair, the most bewitching leer with her eyes, the most roguish caft; her cheeks are dimpled when the miles, and her smiles would tempt an hermit. .
Gom. [ Aside.] I am dead, I am buried, I am damned.
Colonel--have you no other marks of her?
Lor. Thou hast all her marks, but that she has an hurband, a jealous, covetous, old huncks : speak; canst thou tell me news of her?
Gon. Yes, this news, Colonel, that you have seen your last of her.
Lor. If thou helpest me not to the knowledge of her, thou art a circumcised Jew.
Gom. Circumcise me no more than I circumcise you, Colonel Hernando. Once more, you have seen your
last of her.
Lor. [Afde.] I am glad he knows me only by that name of Hernando, by which I went at Barcelona; now he can tell no tales of me to my father. (To him.] Come, thou wert ever good-natured, when thou could'It get by it. Look here, rogue, 'tis of the right damning colour : thou art not proof against gold, sure! Do not I know thee for a covetous.
Gom. Jealous old huncks; those were the marks of your mistress's husband, as I remember, Colonel.
Lor. O the devil! what a rogue in understanding was I, not to find him out sooner!
[Aside. Gom. Do, do, look fillily, good Colonel ; 'is a decent melancholy after an absolute defeat.
Lor. Faith, not for that, dear Gomez : -but-
Lor. Hang pumping ; I was-thinking a little upon a point of gratitude: we two have been long acquaintance ; I know thy merits, and can make some interest; go to; thou wert born to authority ; I'll make thee Alcaide, mayor of Saragossa.
Gom. Satisfy yourself; you shall not make me what you think, Colonel.
Lor. Faith but I will; thou hast the face of a magistrate already.
Gom. And you would provide me with a magistrate's head to my magistrate's face ; I thank you, Colonel.
Lor. Come, thou art so suspicious upon an idle story that woman I saw, I mean that little crooked, ugly woman, for t’other was a lie--is no more thy wife
I'll go home with thee, and satisfy thee immediately, my dear friend.
Gom. I shall not put you to that trouble; no, not so much as a single visit; not so much as an embally by a civil old woman, nor a serenade of twinclędum twincle. dum under
windows : nay, I will advise you, out of tenderne's to your person, that you walk not near yon corner-house by night ; for to my certain knowledge, there are blunderbuffes planted in every loop-hole, that go off constantly of their own accord at the squeaking of a fiddle and the thrummming of a guittar.
Lor. Art thou so obstinate? Then I denounce open war against thee: I'll demolish thy citadel by force; or, at least, I'll bring my whole regiment upon thee: my thousand red locuits, that shall devour thee in free quarter. Farewel, wrought night-cap. [Exit.
Gom. Farewel, Buff! free quarter for a regiment of red-coat locusts! I hope to see them all in the Red Sea first ! ----But Oh, this Jezabel of mine! I'll get a phyfician that fall prescribe her an ounce of camphire every inorning for her breakfast, to abate incontinency. 'She Dhall never peep abroad, no, not to church for confeffion! and for never going, she shall be condemned for a heretic. She shall have fripes by Troy-weight, and sustenance by drachms and scruples : nay, I'll have a faiting almanack printed on purpose for her use, in which
No carnival nor Christmas shall appear,
(Exit, End of the FIRST Act.
Alphonso and Pedro.
• ALPHONSO. THEN saw you my Lorenzo ? • Ped. I had a glimpse of him ; but he shot by me