Pet. A chair, a chair, a chair!.

Ori. No, no, I'll walk home, 'tis but next door. [Ex. SCENE, a Tavern, discovering young Mirabel and Duretete rifing from the table:

Mir. Welcome to Paris once more, my dear Captain, we have eat heartily, drank roundly, paid plentifully, and let it go for once. I liked every thing but our women, they looked lo lean and tawdry, poor creatures! 'Tis a fure fign the army is not paid.. Give me the plump Venetian, brifk and fanguine, that fmiles upon me like the glowing fun, and meets my lips like fparkling wine, her perfon fhining as the glafs, and fpirit like the foaming liquor.

Dur. Ah, Mirabel! Italy I grant you; but for our women here in France, they are fuch thin brawn fallen jades, a man may as well make a bed-fellow of a cane chair.

Mir. France! A light unfeafoned country, nothing. but feathers, foppery, and fashions: we're fine indeed, to are our coach-horfes; men fay we're courtiers, men. ⚫ abuse us; that we are wife and politic, non credo feigneur : 'that our women have wit; parrots, mere parrots, af

furance and a good memory, fets them up: 'There's nothing on this fide the Alps worth my humble service t'e-Ha, Roma la fanta! Italy for my money; their cuftoms, gardens, buildings, paintings, mufic, politics, wine and women! the Paradife of the world;not peftered with a parcel of precife old gouty fellows, that would debar their children every pleasure that they themfelves are past the fenfe of: commend me to the Italian familiarity: here, fon, there's fifty crowns, go pay your whore her week's allowance.

Dur. Ay, thefe are your fathers for you, that underftand the neceflities of young men; not like our musty dads, who because they cannot fifh themselves, would muddy the water, and fpoil the fport of them that can. But now you talk of the plump, what d'ye think of a Dutch woman?

Mir. A Dutch woman's too compact; nay, every thing among them is fo ; a Dutch man is thick, a Dutch

woman.

woman is fquab; a Dutch horfe is round, a Dutch dog is short; a Dutch fhip is broad-bottom'd; and, in fhort, one would fwear the whole product of the country were cast in the same could with their cheeses.

Dur. Ay, but Mirabel, you have forgot the English ladies.

: Mir. The women of England were excellent, did they not take fuch unfufferable pains to ruin what nature has made fo incomparably well; they would be delicate creatures indeed, could they but thoroughly arrive at the French mien, or entirely let it alone; for they only fpoil a very good air of their own, by an aukward imitation of ours; their parliaments and our taylors give laws to three kingdoms, But come, Duretete, let us mind the bufiness in hand; miftreffes we must have, and must take up with the manufacture of the place, and upon a competent diligence we shall find those in Paris fhall match the Italians from top to toe.

Dur. Ay, Mirabel, you will do well enough, but what will become of your friend; you know I am fo plaguy bafhful, fo naturally an afs upon these occafions, that

Mir. Phaw! you must be bolder, man travel three years, and bring home fuch a baby as bafhfulness! A great lufty fellow! and a foldier! fye upon it.

را

Dur. Look'e, Sir, I can vifit, and I can ogle a little, -as thus, or thus now, Then I can kifs abundantly, and make a shift to but if they chance to give me a forbidding look, as fome women, you know, have a devilifh caft with their eyes-or it they cry-What d'ye mean? What d'ye take me for? Fye, Sir, remember who I am, Sir perfon of quality to be ufed at this rate! 'Egad, I'm ftruck as flat as a frying-pan.

Mir. Words of courfe! never mind them: turn you, about upon your heel with a jantée air; hum out the end of an old fong; cut a crofs caper, and at her again.

Dur. [Imitates him.] No, hang it, 'twill never do. Oons, what did my father mean by ticking me up in an univerfity, or to think that I should gain any thing by my head, in a nation whofe genius lies all in their heels!

Well, if ever I come to have children of my own, they fhall have the education of the country, they shall 1 learn

B 3

learn to dance before they can walk, and be taught to fing before they can speak.

Mir. Come, come, throw off that childish humour, put on affurance, there's no avoiding it; ftand all hazards, thou'rt a ftout lufty fellow, and haft a good eftate; look bluff, Hector, you have a good fide-box face, a pretty im pudent face; fo that's pretty well-This fellow went abroad like an ox, and is returned like an ass. [Afide

Dur. Let me fee now, how I look. [Pulls out a pocket glafs, and looks on't.] A fide-box face, fay you !-'Egad, 1 don't like it, Mirabel.-Fye, Sir, don't abuse your friends, I could not wear fuch a face for the best coun tefs in Chriftendom.

Mir. Why can't you, blockhead, as well as I?

Dur. Why, thou haft impudence to fet a good face upon any thing, I would change half my gold for half thy brass, with all my heart. Who comes here? Odfo, Mirabel, your father.

Enter Old Mirabel. Old Mir. Where's Bob? Dear Bob! Mir. Your bleffing, Sir.

Old Mir. My bloffing! Damn ye, ye young rogue; why did not you come to fee your father firft, firrah ? My dear boy, I am heartily glad to fee thee, my dear child, faith-Captain Duretete, by the blood of the Mi rabels, I'm yours. Well, my lads, ye look bravely faith, -Bob, haft got any money left?

Mir. Not a farthing, Sir.

Old Mir. Why, then I won't give thee a fouse.
Mir. I did but jeft, here's ten pistoles.

Old Mir. Why, then here's ten more; I love to be charitable to thofe that don't want it

d'ye like Italy, my boys?

Well, and how

Mir. Oh, the garden of the world, Sir; Rome, Na ples, Venice, Milan, and a thoufand others-all fine. Old Mir. Ay, fay you fo! And they fay, that Chiari is very fine too..

Dur. Indifferent, Sir, very indifferent; a very scurvy air, the most unwholesome to a French constitution in the world.

Mir. Pfhaw, nothing on't; thefe rafcally Gazetteers kave mifinformed you.

Old

Old Mir. Mifinformed me! Oons, Sir, were not we

beaten there?

Mir. Beaten, Sir! the French beaten !

Old Mir. Why, how was it, pray, fweet Sir?
Mir. Sis, the Captain will tell you.

Dur. No, Sir, your fon will tell you.

Min. The Captain was in the action, Sir.

Dur. Your fon faw more than I, Sir, for he was looker on.

Old Mir. Confound you both for a brace of cowards: here are no Germans to over-hear you; why don't ye tell me how it was?

Mir. Why, then you must know, that we marched up a body of the finest, braveft, well-dreffed fellows in the univerfe; our commanders at the head of us, all lace and feather, like fo many beaux at a ball-I don't believe there was a man of them but could dance a charmer, Morbleau.

Old Mir. Dance! very well, pretty fellows, faith!

Mir. We capered up to their very trenches, and there. faw, peeping over, a parcel of fcare-crow, olive-coloured gunpowder fellows, as ugly as the devil.

Dur. 'Egad, I fhall never forget the looks of them, while I have breath to fetch.

Mir. They were fo civil, indeed, as to welcome us with their cannon; but for the rest, we found them fuch unmannerly, rude, unfociable dogs, that we grew tired of their company, and fo we e'en danced back again. Old Mir. And did ye all come back?

Mir. No, two or three thousand of us stayed behind. Old Mir. Why, Bob, why?

Mir. Phaw-because they could not come that night, -But come, Sir, we were talking of fomething else. Pray, how does your lovely charge, the fair Oriana?

Old Mir. Ripe, Sir, juft ripe; you'll find it better engaging with her than the Germans, let me tell you. And what would you fay, my young Mars, if I had a Venus for thee too? Come, Bob, your apartment is ready, and pray let your friend be my guest too, you fhall command. the houfe between ye, and I'll be as merry as the best of you.

• Mir. Bravely faid, father.

• Let

• Let mifers bend their age with niggard cares, And starve themfelves to pamper hungry heirs; Who, living, ftint their fons what youth may crave, • And make them revel o'er a father's grave.. The stock on which I grow does still dispense Its genial fap into the blooming branch;

The fruit, he knows, from his own root is grown,
And therefore fooths thofe paffions once his own."
END of the FIRST ACT.

A

ND you love this young rake, d'ye?

Ori. Yes.

Bif. In fpight of all his ill ufage.
Ori. I can't help it.

Bif. What's the matter with ye?
Ori. Pfhaw!

Bif Um-before that any young, lying, fwearing, flattering, rakehelly fellow fhould play fuch tricks with me, I would wear my teeth to the ftumps with lime and chalk. Oh, the devil take all your Caffandras and Cleopatras for me.-Pr'ythee mind your airs, modes, and fashions; your ftays, gowns and furbelows. Hark'e, my dear, have you got home your furbelowed fmocks yet? Ort. Pr'ythee be quiet, Bifarre; you know I can be as mad as you, when this Mirabel is out of

my head. Bif. Phaw! would he were out, or in, or fome way to make you eafy.-I warrant now, you'll play the fool when he comes, and fay you love him, eh!

Ori. Moft certainly;-I can't diffemble, Bifarre : befides, 'tis past that; we're contracted.

Bif. Contracted! alack a-day, poor thing. What you have changed rings, or broken an old broad-piece between you! Heark'e, child, han't you broke fomething else between ye?

6

• Ori..