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GREEDY, a hungry justice of peace.

TAPWELL, an ale-house-keeper. Three creditors.

WOMEN.

LADY ALLWORTH, a rich widow. MARGARET, Overreach's daughter.

MARRALL, a term-driver, a creature of SIR GILES FROTH, Tapwell's wife.

OVERREACH.

Order,

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Relieved the poor, and so forth; but he dying,
And the twelve hundred a-year coming to you,
Late Mr Francis, but now forlorn Wellborn-

Well. Slave, stop! or I shall lose myself.
Froth. Very hardly,

You cannot be out of your way.

Tap. But to my story; I shall proceed, sir:
You were then a lord of acres, the prime gallant,
And I your under-butler: note the change now.
You had a merry time of't. Hawks and hounds;
With choice of running horses: mistresses,
And other such extravagancies;

Which your uncle, sir Giles Overreach, observing,
Resolving not to lose so fair an opportunity,
On foolish mortgages, statutes, and bonds,
For awhile supplied your lavishness, and then left
you.

Well. Some curate has penned this invective, mongrel,

And

you have studied it.

Tap. I have not done yet.

Your lands gone, and your credit not worth a token,

You grew the common borrower; no man 'scaped Your paper pellets, from the gentleman to the

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Live like an emperor: 'twas I that gave it,
In ready gold. Deny this, wretch!
Tap. I must, sir.

For, from the tavern to the tap-house, all,
On forfeiture of their licence, stand bound
Never to remember who the best guests were,
If they grow poor like you.

Well. They are well rewarded

That beggar themselves to make such rascals rich. Thou viper, thankless viper!

But since you are grown forgetful, I will help Your memory, and kick thee into remembrance; Not leave one bone unbroken.

Tap. Oh!

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For if they grumble, I revoke my pardon. Froth. This comes of your prating, husband; you presumed

On your ambling wit, and must use your glib tongue,

Though you are beaten lame for it.
Tap. Patience, Froth;
There is no law to cure our bruises.

[They go off into the house.
Well. Sent for to your mother?
Allw. My lady, Frank, my patroness! my all!
She's such a mourner for my father's death,
And, in her love to him, so favours me,
That I cannot pay too much observance to her.
There are few such stepdames.

Well. Tis a noble widow,

And keeps her reputation pure, and clear
From the least taint of infamy; her life,
With the splendour of her actions, leaves no
tongue

To envy or detraction. Pr'ythee, tell me ;
Has she no suitors?

Allw. Even the best of the shire, Frank,
My lord excepted: such as sue, and send,
And send, and sue again; but to no purpose.
Their frequent visits have not gained her pre-

sence;

Yet she's so far from sullenness and pride,

[Beats him. That I dare undertake you shall meet from her
A liberal entertainment. I can give you
A catalogue of her suitors' names.
Well. Forbear it,

Your potent prince, the constable, shall not save

you.

Hear me, ungrateful hell-bound! did not I
Make purses for you? then you licked my boots,
And thought your holiday cloak too coarse to
clean them.

While I give you good counsel. I am bound

to it;

Thy father was my friend; and that affection I bore to him, in right descends to thee: Thou art a handsome and a hopeful youth,

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star,

By which the load-stone of your folly's guided. And, to confirm this true, what think you of Fair Margaret, the only child and heir

Of cormorant Overreach? Dost blush and start, To hear her only named? Blush at your want Of wit and reason.

Allw. You are too bitter, sir.

Well. Wounds of this nature are not to be cured

With balms, but corrosives. I must be plain : Art thou scarce manumized from the porter's lodge,

And yet sworn servant to the pantoffle,
And darest thou dream of marriage?

Allw. Howe'er you have discovered my in

tents,

You know my aims are lawful; and if ever The queen of flowers, the glory of the spring, The sweetest comfort to our smell, the rose, Sprang from an envious briar, I may infer, There's such disparity in their conditions Between the goddess of my soul, the daughter, And the base churl, her father.

Well. Grant this true,

As I believe it; canst thou ever hope

To enjoy a quiet bed with her, whose father Ruined thy state?

Allw. And yours too.

Well. I confess it, Allworth.

I must tell you as a friend, and freely, That, where impossibilities are apparent, 'Tis indiscretion to nourish hopes.

Canst thou imagine (let not self-love blind thee) That sir Giles Overreach (that to make her great In swelling titles, without touch of conscience, Will cut his neighbour's throat, and I hope his own too)

Will e'er consent to make her thine? Give o'er, And think of some course suitable to thy rank, And prosper in it.

Allw. You have well advised me; But, in the mean time, you, that are so studious Of my affairs, wholly neglect your own. Remember yourself, and in what plight you are. Well. No matter, no matter.

Allw. Yes, 'tis much material:

You know my fortune, and my means; yet something

I can spare from myself, to help your wants.
Well. How's this?

Allw. Nay, be not angry. There's eight pieces, To put you in better fashion.

Well. Money from thee?

From a boy, a stipendary? one that lives
At the devotion of a step-mother,
And the uncertain favour of a lord?

I'll eat my arms first. Howsoe'er blind fortune
Hath spent the utmost of her malice on me;
Though I am vomited out of an alehouse,
And thus accoutred; know not where to eat,
Or drink, or sleep, but underneath this canopy;
Although I thank thee, I despise thy offer.
And as I, in my madness, broke my state
Without the assistance of another's brain,
In my right wits I'll piece it; at the worst,
Die thus, and be forgotten.

Allw. A strange humour! [Exeunt severally.

SCENE II.—A Chamber in Lady ALLWORTH'S House.

Enter ORDER, AMBLE, FURNACE.

Order. Set all things right, or, as my name is Order,

Whoever misses in his function,

For one whole week makes forfeiture of his breakfast,

And privilege in the wine cellar.
Amble. You are merry.

Good master steward.

Furn. Let him; I'll be angry.

Amble. Why, fellow Furnace, 'tis not twelve o'clock yet,

Nor dinner taking up; then 'tis allowed
Cooks, by their places, may be choleric.
Furn. You think you have spoke wisely, good
man Amble,

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At all hours, and at all places, I'll be angry; And, thus provoked, when I am at my prayers I will be angry.

Amble. There was no hurt meant.

Furn. I am friends with thee, and yet I will be angry. Order. With whom?

Furn. No matter whom : yet, now I think on't, I am angry with my lady.

Amble. Heaven forbid, man!

Order. What cause has she given thee?
Furn. Cause enough, master steward:

I was entertained by her to please her palate,
And, till she forswore eating, I performed it.
Now, since our master, noble Allworth, died,
Though I crack my brains to find out tempting

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And the fourth part par-boiled, to prepare her | Like virgin parchment, capable of any

viands,

She keeps her chamber, dines with a panada,
Or water-gruel; my skill never thought on.
Order. But your art is seen in the dining room.
Furn. By whom?

By such as pretend to love her; but come
To feed upon her. Yet, of all the harpies
That do devour her, I am out of charity
With none so much, as the thin-gutted squire,
That's stolen into commission.

Order. Justice Greedy?

Inscription, vicious or honourable.

I will not force your will, but leave you free
To your own election.

Allw. Any form you please

I will put on but, might I make my choice,
With humble emulation, I would follow
The path my lord marks to me.

Lady. 'Tis well answered,

And I commend your spirit: you had a father, (Blessed be his memory) that some few hours Before the will of Heaven took him from me,

Furn. The same, the same. Meat is cast away Did commend you, by the dearest ties

upon him:

It never thrives. He holds his paradox,
Who eats not well, can ne'er do justice well.
His stomach's as insatiate as the grave.
Amble. One knocks.

If

Of perfect love between us, to my charge:
And, therefore, what I speak, you are bound to
hear

With such respect, as if he lived in me.

Allw. I have found you,

[ALLWORTH knocks, and enters. Most honoured madam, the best mother tome;

Order. Our late young master.
Amble. Welcome, sir.

Furn. Your hand:

you have a stomach, a cold bake-meat's ready.
Order. His father's picture in little.
Furn. We are all your servants.
Allw. At once, my thanks to all;

This is yet some comfort. Is my lady stirring?

Enter the Lady ALLWORTH.

Order. Her presence answers for us.
Lady. Sort those silks well.
I'll take the air alone.

And, as I gave directions, if this morning
I am visited by any, entertain them
As heretofore but say, in my excuse,

I am indisposed.

Order. I shall, madam.

Lady. Do, and leave me.

And with my utmost strength of care and service,
Will labour that you never may repent

Your bounties showered upon me.

Lady. I much hope it.

These were your father's words: If e'er my son
Follow the war, tell him it is a school
Where all the principles, tending to honour,
Are taught, if truly followed: But for such
As repair thither, as a place in which

They do presume they may, with license, prac

tise

Their lusts and riots, they shall never merit
The noble name of soldiers. To dare boldly
In a fair cause, and, for the country's safety,
To run upon the cannon's mouth undaunted;
To obey their leaders, and shun mutinies;
To bear, with patience, the winter's cold,
And summer's scorching heat,

Are the essential parts make up a soldier:

[Exeunt ORDER, AMBLE, and FURNACE. Not swearing, dice, or drinking.

Nay, stay you, Allworth.

Allw. I shall gladly grow here,

To wait on your commands.

Lady. So soon turned courtier!

Alla. Stile not that courtship, madam, which

is duty, Purchased on your part.

Lady. Well, you shall o'ercome;

I'll not contend in words. How is it with
Your noble master?

Allw. Ever like himself;

No scruple lessened in the full weight of ho-
nour!

He did command me (pardon my presumption),
As his unworthy deputy, to kiss

Your ladyship's fair hands.

Lady. I am honoured in

His favour to me. Does he hold his

For the Low Countries?

Allw. Constantly, good madam:

purpose

But he will, in person, first present his service.

Lady. And how approve you of his course?

you are yet,

Allw. There's no syllable

You speak, but it is to me an oracle ;
Which but to doubt were impious.

Lady. To conclude;

Beware ill-company; for often men

Are like to those with whom they do converse:
And from one man I warn you, and that's Well-

born:

Not 'cause he's poor; that rather claims your
pity;

But that he's in his manners so debauched,
And hath to vicious courses sold himself.
'Tis true, your father loved him, while he was
Worthy the loving; but, if he had lived

To have seen him as he is, he had cast him off,
As you must do.

Allw. I shall obey in all things.

Lady. Follow me to my chamber; you shall
have gold

To furnish you like my son, and still supplied
As I hear from you.

Allw. I am still your creature.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II-A hall in Lady ALLWORTH'S

House.

Enter OVERREACH, GREEDY, ORDER, AMBLE, FURNACE, and MARRALL.

Greedy. Not to be seen?

Over. Still cloistered up? her reason,

I hope, assures her, though she makes herself Close prisoner ever for her husband's loss Twill not recover him.

Order. Sir, it is her will;

Which we, that are her servants, ought to serve, And not dispute. However, you are nobly wel

come :

And, if you please to stay, that you may think so,
There came, not six days since, from Hull, a pipe
Of rich canary; which shall spend itself
For my lady's honour.

Greedy. Is it of the right race?
Order. Yes, Mr Greedy.

Amble. How his mouth runs over!

Furn. I'll make it run and run. Save your good worship!

Greedy. Honest Mr Cook, thy hand; again! How I love thee!

Are the good dishes still in being? speak, boy. Furn. If you have a mind to feed, there is a chine

Of beef well seasoned.
Greedy. Good.

Furn. A pheasant, larded.

Greedy. That I might now give thanks for it! Furn. Other kick-shaws.

Besides, there came last night, from the forest of Sherwood,

The fattest stag I ever cooked.

Greedy. A stag, man?

Furn. A stag, sir; part of it is prepared for dinner,

And baked in puff-paste.

Greedy. Puff-paste, too, Sir Giles!

A ponderous chine of beef! a pheasant larded! And red deer, too, Sir Giles, and baked in puffpaste!

All business set aside, let us give thanks here.
Over. You know we cannot.

Mar. Your worships are to sit on a commission,

And if you fail to come, you lose the cause. Greedy. Cause me no causes; I'll prove it, for such a dinner,

We may put off a commission; you shall find it Henrici decimo quarto.

Over. Fie, Mr Greedy!

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And I, in thankfulness, will, by your boy,
Send you a brace of three-pences.
Furn. Will you be so prodigal ?
Over. Remember me to your lady.
Enter WELLBorn.

Who have we here?

Well. Don't you know me?

Over. I did once, but now I will not;

Thou art no blood of mine. Avaunt, thou beg

gar!
If
ever thou
presume
to own me more,
I'll have thee caged and whipped.
Greedy. I'll grant the warrant.
I do love thee, Furnace,

E'en as I do malmsey in a morning.
Think of pye-corner, Furnace!

[Exeunt OVERREACH, GREEDY, and MARRAL. Amble. Will you out, sir?

I wonder how you durst creep in.
Order. This is rudeness
And saucy impudence.

Amble. Cannot you stay

To be served among your fellows from the basket,

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Only to consume meat and drink, and batten
Upon reversions; Who advances? who
Shews me the way?

Order. Here comes my lady.
Enter LADY.

Lady. What noise is this?

Well. Madam, my designs bear me to you.
Lady. To me?

Well. And though I have met with

But ragged entertainment from your grooms here, I hope from you to receive that noble usage,

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