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kind, and virtue to beat off their assaults. Oh, noblest ball at the Bath, or had the finest coach Vizard ! such a creature!
in the ring? I want news, gentlemen.
Stand. Faith, sir, these are no news at all. Enter Sie HARRY WILDAIR, crosses the stage
Viz. But pray, sir Harry, tell us some news of singing, with Footmen after him. Hey-day! Who the devil have we here?
Wild. With all my heart.--You must know, Viz. The joy of the play-house, and life of then, I went over to Amsterdam in a Dutch the park; Sir Harry Wildair, newly come from ship : I there had a Dutch whore for five Paris.
stivers. I went from thence to Landen, where Stand. Sir Harry Wildair! Did not he make I was heartily drubbed in the battle with the a campaign in Flanders some three or four years butt-end of a Swiss musket. I thence went
to Paris, where I had half a dozen intrigues, Viz. The same.
bought half a dozen new suits, fought a Stand. Why, he behaved himself very brave couple of duels, and here I am again in statu ly.
quo. Viz. Why not? Dost think bravery and gaiety Viz. But we heard that you designed to make are inconsistent ? He's a gentleman of most the tour of Italy; what brought you back so happy circumstances, born to a plentiful estate; soon? has had a genteel and easy education, free from Wild. That which brought you into the world, the rigidness of teachers, and pedantry of and may perhaps carry you out of it; a woschools. His florid constitution, being never man, ruffled by misfortune, nor stinted in its plea Stand. What! quit the pleasures of travel sures, has rendered him entertaining to others, for a woman? and easy to himself: turning all passion into Wild. Ay, colonel, for such a woman! I gaiety of humour, by which he chooses rather to had rather see her ruelle than the palace of rejoice with his friends, than be hated by any, Lewis le Grand. There's more glory in her as you shall see.
sinile, than in the Jubilee at Rome; and I
would rather kiss her hand, than the Pope's Re-enter WILDAIR.
toe. Wild. Ha, Vizard !
Viz. You, colonel, have been very lavish in Viz. Sir Harry!
the beauty and virtue of your mistress; and sir Wild. Who thought to find you out of the Harry, here, has been no less eloquent in the Rubric so long ; I thought thy hypocrisy had praise of his. Now, will I lay you both ten been wedded to a pulpit-cushion long ago.—Sir
, guineas a piece, that neither of them is so pretty, if I mistake not your face, your name is Stand- so witty, or so virtuous, as mine. ard?
Stand. 'Tis done. Stand. Sir Ilarry, I'mn your humble servant.
Wild. I'll double the stakes—But, gentlemen, Wild. Come, gentlemen, the news, the news now I think on it, how shall we be resolved ?o' the town, for I'm just arrived.
For I kpow not where my mistress may be Viz. Why, in the city-end o' the town, we're found; she left Paris about a month before me, playing the kuave, to get estates.
and I had an accountStand. And in the court-end playing the fool, Stand. How, sir! left Paris about a month bein spending them.
fore you? Wild. Just so in Paris. I'm glad we're grown
Wild. Yes, sir, and I had an account that she so modish.
lodged somewhere in St James's. Viz. And hypocrisy for religion.
Viz. How! somewhere in St James, say you ? Wild. A-la-inode de Paris again.
Wild. Aye, sir, but I know not where, and Viz. Not one whore between Ludgate and perhaps mayn't find her this fortninght. Aldgate.
Stund. Her name, pray, sir Harry. Stund. But ten times more cuckolds than Viz. Aye, aye, her name; perhaps, we know ever.
her. Viz. Nothing like an oath in the city. Wild. Her name! Ay; she has the softest,
Stand. That's a mistake; for my major swore whitest band that e'er was made of flesh and a hundred and fifty last night to a merchant's wife blood; her lips so balmy sweetin her bed-chamber,
Stand. But her name, sir. Wild. Pshaw! this is trifling; tell me news, Wild. Then her neck and breast; her breasts gentlemen. What lord has lately broke his do so heave, so heave.
[Singing. fortune at the Groom-Porter's ? or his heart Viz. But her name, sir; her quality. at Newmarket, for the loss of a race? What Wild. Then her shape, colonel ! wife has been lately suing in Doctor's-Com Stand. But her name I want, sir. mons for alimony; or what daughter run away Wild. Then her eyes, Vizard ! with her father's valet? What beau gave the Viz. Pshaw, sir Harry, her name, or nothing.
Wild. Then if you must have it, she's called Wild. Psbaw ! thou'rt as long studying for a the lady - But then her foot, gentlemen; new mistress, as a drawer is piercing a new pipe. she dances to a miracle. Vizard, you have cer Viz. I design a new pipe for you, and wholetainly lost your wager.
some wine; you'll therefore bear a little expecViz. Why, you have certainly lost your senses;
tation. we shall never discover the picture, unless you Wild. Ha! sayst thou, dear Vizard ? subscribe the name.
Viz. A girl of sixteen, sir Harry. Wild. Then, her name is Lurewell.
Wild. Now sixteen thousand blessings rest or
Wild. Aye, aye, but her name, Vizard. Stand. I have seen her, sir.
Viz. Her name! yes— she has the softest, Wild. Can'st tell where she lodges ? Tell me, whitest hand, that e'er was made of flesh and dear colonel.
blood; her lips so balmy sweetStand. Your humble servant, sir. [Erit. Wild. Well, well, but where shall I find her,
Wild. Nay, hold, colonel; I'll follow you, man? and will know.
[Runs out. Vis. Find her! but then her foot, sir Harry; Viz. The lady Lurewell his mistress! he loves she dances to a miracle. her : but she loves me. But he's a baronet, and Wild. Prithee, don't distract me. I plain Vizard; he has a coach and six, and I Viz. Well, then, you must know, that this lady walk on foot; I was bred in London, and he in is the greatest beauty in town; her name's AnParis. That very circumstance has murdered gelica: she that passes for her mother is a prime-Then, some stratagem must be laid to di- vate bawd, and called the lady Darling ; she goes vert his pretensions.
for a baronet's lady, (no disparagement to your
honour, sir Harry) I assure you. Re-enter WILDAIR.
Wild. Pshaw, hang my honour; but what Wild. Prithee, Dick, what makes the colonel street, what house? so out of humour?
Viz. Not so fast, sir Harry; you must have Viz. Because he's out of pay, I
suppose. my passport for your admittance, and you'll find Wild. 'Slife, that's true; I was beginning to my recommendation in a line or two will procure mistrust some rivalship in the case.
you very civil entertaiument; I suppose twenty Viz. And suppose there were; you know the or thirty pieces, handsomely placed, will gain the colonel can fight, sir Harry.
point: I'll ensure her sound. Wild. Fight ! Pshaw-but he cannot dance, Wild. Thou dearest friend to a man in necesha! We contend for a woman, Vizard. 'Slife, sity! Here, sirrah, order my coach about to St man, if ladies were to be gained by sword and James's ; I'll walk across the park. pistol only, what the devil should all we beaus
[To his sertant. do? V'iz. I'll try him farther. [Aside.] But would
Enter Clincher, senior. not you, sir Harry, fight for this woman you so Clin. Here, sirrah, order my coach about to St much admire?
James's ; I'll walk across the Park, too--Mr VizWild. Fight! Let me consider. I love her-ard, your most devoted—Sir, [To WildAir.}that's true; but, then, I love honest sir Harry I admire the mode of your shoulder-knot; meWildair better. The lady Lurewell is divinely thinks it hangs very emphatically, and carries an charming-right—but, then, a thrust i' the guts, air of travel in it; your sword-knot, too, is most or a Middlesex jury, is as ugly as the devil. ornamentally modish, and bears a foreign mien.
Viz. Aye, sir Harry, 'twere a dangerous cast Gentleinen, my brother is just arrived in town; for a beau-baronet to be tried by a parcel of so that, being upon the wing to kiss his hands, I greasy, grumbling, bartering boobies, who would hope you will pardon this abrupt departure of, hang you, purely because you're a gentleman. gentlemen, your most devoted, and most faithful Wild. Aye, but, on t'other hand, I have
[Erit CLINCHER. enough to bribe the rogues with : so, upon ma
Wild. Prithee, dost know bim? ture deliberation, I would fight for her. But no Viz. Know him! why, it is Clincher, who was more of her. Prithee, Vizard, cannot you re-apprentice to my uncle Smuggler, the merchant commend a friend to a pretty mistress by the in the city. bye, till I can find my own? You have store, I
Wild. What makes him so gay? ain sure; you cunning poaching dogs make surer Viz. Why, he's in mourning. game, than we that hunt open and fair. Prithee Wild. In mourning? now, good Vizard.
Viz. Yes, for his father. The kind old man l'iz. Let me consider a little. Now, love and in Hertfordshire t'other day broke his neck a Fevenge inspire my politics.
[ Aside for-hunting; the son upon the news has broke [Puuses, whilst Sir Harry wulks singing his indentures; whipped from behind the corner
into the side-box, forswears merchandise, where account: I long to know whether the fop be kilhe must live by cheating, and usurps gentility, led or not. where he may die by raking. He keeps his coach and liveries, brace of geldings, leash of mis
Enter STANDARD. tresses, talks of nothing but wines, intrigues, plays, fashions, and going to the jubilee. Oh lord ! no sooner talk of killing, but the sol
Wild. Ha, ha, ha! how many pounds of pul. dier is conjured up. You're upon hard duty, covil must the fellow use in sweetening himself lonel, to serve your king, your country, and a from the smell of hops and tobacco ? Faugh-In inistress, too. my conscience, methought, like Olivia's lover, he Stand. The latter, I must confess, is the hardstunk of Thames-street. But now for Angelica, est; for, in war, madam, we can be relieved in that's her name : we'll to the prince's chocolate- our duty; but, in love, he who would take our post, bouse, where you shall write my passport. Allons! is our enemy; emulation in glory is transporting,
[Exeunt. but rivals here intolerable.
Lure. Those, that bear away the prize in the SCENE II.-Lady LUREWELL's lodgings. field, should boast the same success in the bed
chamber; and, I think, considering the weakEnter LUREWELL, and her maid PARLY. ness of our sex, we should make those our com
panions who can be our champions. Lure. Parly, my pocket-book-let me see Stand. I once, madam, hoped the honour of Madrid, Paris, Venice, London! Aye, London ! defending you from all injuries, through a title to They may talk what they will of the hot coun- your lovely person ; but now my love must attries, but I find love most fruitful under this tend my fortune. My commission, madam, was climate-In a month's space have gained-let my passport to the fair; adding a nobleness to me see e-imprimis, colonel Standard.
my passion, it stampt a value on my love : 'twas Par. And how will your ladyship manage once the life of honour, but now its winding him?
sheet, and with it must my love be buried, Lure. As all soldiers should be managed; he Par. What! disbanded, colonel? shall serve me till I gain my ends; then I'll dis
Stand. Yes, Mrs Parly. band him.
Par. Faugh, the nauseous fellow! he smells Par. But he loves you, madam.
of poverty already:
[Aside. Lure. Therefore, I scorn hiin; I hate all that
Lure. His misfortune troubles me, because don't love me, and slight all that do; would his it may prevent my designs.
[ Aside. whole deluding sex admired me! Thus would I
Stund. I'll choose, madam, rather to destroy slight them all. My virgin and unwary inno- my passion by absence abroad, than have it cence was wronged by faithless man; but now, starved at home. glance eyes, plot brain, dissemble face, lie tongue,
Lure. I'm sorry, sir, you have so mean an opiand be a second Eve to tempt, seduce, and nion of my affection, as to imagine it founded plague the treacherous kind! Let me survey my upon your fortune. And, to convince you of captives : The colonel leads the van; next Mr your mistake, here I vow, by all that's sacred, I Vizard; he courts me out of the practice of piety, own the same affection now as before. Let it therefore is a hypocrite ; then Clincher; he adores suffice; my fortune is considerable. me with orangerie, and is consequently a fool; Stand. No, madam, no; I'll never be a charge then my old merchant, Alderman Smuggler; to her I love! The man, that sells himself for he's a compound of both; out of which medley gold, is the worst of prostitutes ! of lovers, if I don't make good diversion- What
Lure. Now, were he any other creature but a dy'e think, Parly?
man, I could love him.
[ Aside. Par. I think, madam, I'm like to be very vir
Stand. This only last request I make, that no tuous in your service, if you teach me all those title recommend a fool, no office introduce a tricks that you use to your lovers.
knave, nor coat a coward, to my place in your Lure. You're a fool, child; observe this, that affections; so, farewell my country, and adieu though a woman swear, forswear, lie, dissemble,
[Erit. back-bite, be proud, vain, malicious, any thing, Lure. Now the devil take thee for being so if she secures the main chance, she's still virtu- honourable ! here, Parly, call him back; I shall ous; that's a maxim.
Jose half my diversion else. Now for a trial of Par. I cannot be persuaded though, madam, skill! but that you really loved sir Harry Wildair in Paris, Lure. Of all the lovers I ever had, he was
Re-enter STANDARD. my greatest plag e, for I could never make him Sir, I hope you'll pardon my curiosity. When do uneasy: I left him involved in a duel upon my you take your journey?
[FARQUHAR. Stand. To-morrow morning, early, madam. has só persecuted me with letters, songs, dances,
Lure. So suddenly! which way are you de- serenading, flattery, foppery, and noise, that I was signed to travel ?
forced to fly the kingdom -And I warrant you Stand. That I can't yet resolve on.
he made you jealous. Lure. Pray, sir, tell me; pray, sir, I entreat Stand. Faith, madam, I was a little uneasy. you; why are you so obstinate?
Lure. You shall have a plentiful revenge. I'll Stand. Why are you so curious, madam? send him back all his foolish letters, songs, and Lure. Because
verses, and you yourself shall carry them : 'twill Stand. What?
afford you opportunity of triumphing, and free Lure. Because I, I
me from his further impertinence; for, of all Stand. Because! What, madam?-Pray tell men, he's my aversion I'll run and fetch them
Erit. Lure. Because I design to follow you. (Crying. Stand. Dear madam, a rare project! Now
Stand. Follow nie! By all that's great, I ne'er shall I bait him, like Actæon, with his own dogs was proud before. But such love, from such -Well, Mrs Parly, it is ordered, by act of a creature, mnight swell the vanity of the parliament, that you rëceive no more pieces, proudest prince. Follow me! By Heavens thou Mrs Parly. shalt not! What! expose thee to the hazards of a Par. 'Tis provided by the same act, that camp-Rather I'll stay, and here bear the con- send no more messages by me, good colonel ; tempt of fools, and worst of fortune.
you must not presume to send any more letters, Lure. You need not, shall not; my estate for unless you can pay the postage. both is sufficient.
Stand. Come, come, don't be mercenary; take Stand. Thy estate! No, I'll turn a knave, and example by your lady; be honourable. purchase one myself; I'll cringe to the proud Par. A-lack-a-day, sir, it shews as ridiculous man I undermine, and fawn on him that I would and haughty for us to imitate our betters in their bite to death; I'll tip my tongue with fattery, honour, as in their finery; leave honour to pobt and smooth my face with smiles; P'll turn pimp, lity, that can support it: we poor folks colonel, informer, office-broker, nay, coward, to be great; have no pretence to't ; and truly, I think, sir, and sacrifice it all to thee, my generous fair! that
honour should be cashiered with your Lure. And I'll dissemble, lie, swear, jilt, any leading-staff
. thing, but I'll reward thy love, and recompense
Stand. Tis one of the greatest curses of pothy poble passion.
verty, to be the jest of chambermaids. Stand. Sir Harry, ha, ha, ha! poor sir Harry, ha, ha, ha! Rather kiss her hand, than the
Enter LUREWELL. Pope's toe, ha, ha, ha!
Lure. Here's the packet, colonel; the whole Lure. What sir Harry, colonel? What sir magazine of love's artillery. Harry?
[Giving him the packet. Stand. Sir Harry Wildair, madam,
Stand. Which, since I have gained, I will Lure. What! is he come over?
turn upon the enemy. Madam, I'll bring you Stand. Ay, and he told me, but I don't be the news of my victory this evening. Poor sir lieve a syllable on't.
Harrry! ha, ha, ha!
[Erit. Lure. What did he tell you ?
Lure. To the right about as you were; march, Stand. Only called you his mistress, and, pre- colonel. Ha, ha, ha! tending to be extravagant in your commendation, would vainly insinuate the praise of his own Vain man, who boasts of studied parts and wiles! judgment and good fortune in a choice. Nature in us your deepest art beguiles,
Lure. How easily is the vanity of fops tickled Stamping deep cunning in our frowns and by our sex!
smiles. Stand. Why, your sex is the vanity of fops. You toil for art, your intellects you trace;
Lure. On my conscience, I believe so. This Woman, without a thought, bears policy in her gentleman, because he danced well, I pitched on face.
[Ereuel. for a partner at a ball in Paris, and, ever since, he
SCENE I.-CLINCHER junior's lodgings. pageants, and squibs, and raree-shows, and all
that, sir. Enter CLINCHER, opening a letter ; servant
Clin. jun. And must you go so soon, brother? following
Clin. sen. Yes, sir, for I must stay a month at Clin. (Reads.] *Dear brother, I will see Amsterdam, to study poetry. you presently: I have sent this lad to wait op Clin. jun. Then I suppose, brother, you travel you; he can instruct you in the fashions of the through Muscovy, to learn fashions; don't you, town. I am your affectionate brother, Clincher.' brother? Very well; and what's your name, sir?
Clin. sen. Brother ! Prithee, Robin, don't call Dick. My name is Dicky, sir.
ine brother; sir will do every jot as well. Clin. Dicky!
Clin. jun. Oh, Jupiter Ammon! why so? Dick. Ay, Dicky, sir.
Clin. sen. Because people will imagine you Clin. Very well; a pretty name! And what have a spite at me—But have you seen your can you do, Mr Dicky?
cousin Angelica yet, and her mother, the lady Dick. Why, sir, I can powder a wig, and pick | Darling ? up a whore.
Clin. jun. No; my dancing-master has not Clin. Oh, lord! Oh, lord! a whore! Why, are been with me yet. How shall I salute them, there many whores in this town?
brother? Dick. Ha, ha, ha! many whores! there's a Clin. sen. Pshaw! that's easy; 'tis only two question, indeed! Wky, sir, there are above five scrapes, a kiss, and your humble servant. I'll hundred surgeons in town -Hark'e, sir : do tell you more when I come from the Jubilee. you see that woman there, in the velvet scarf, Come along.
[Ereunt. and red knots? Clin. Ay, sir; what then?
SCENE II.-LADY DARLING's house. Dick. Why, she shall be at your service in three minutes, as I'm a pimp.
Enter WILDAIR with a letter. Clin. Oh, Jupiter Ammon! Why, she's a gen Wild. Like light and heat, incorporate we lay; tlewoman.
We blessed the night, and cursed the coming Dick. A gentlewoman! Why, so are all the day. whores in town, sir.
Well, if this paper-kite fies
secure of my game -Humph the prettiest bourdel I Enter CLINCHER senior.
have seen; a very stately genteel oneClin. sen. Brother, you're welcome to London.
Footmen cross the stage. Clin. jun. I thought, brother, you owed so Hey-day! equipage, too! Now for a bawd by the much to the memory of my father, as to wear curtesy, and a whore with a coat of arms mourning for his death.
'Sdeath, I'm afraid I've mistaken the house ! Clin. sen. Why, so I do, fool; I wear this, be
Enter LADY DARLING,
[Going Wild. Pleasure, madam. Clin. jun. Stay, stay, brother—Where are you Lady Dar. Then, sir, you have no business going?
here. Clin. sen. How natural 'tis for a country booby Wild. This letter, madam, will inform you to ask impertinent questions !-Hark’e, sir; is farther. Mr Vizard sent it, with his humble sernot my father dead ?
vice to your ladyship, Clin. jun. Ay, ay, to my sorrow.
Lady Dar. How does my cousin, sir? Clin. sen. No matter for that, he's dead; and Wild. Aye, her cousin, too! that's right proam not I a young, powdered, extravagant Eng- curess again, Tish beir?
[Aside. Clin. jun. Very right, sir.
Lady Dar. (Reads.}– Madam-earnest inCiin. sen. Why, then, sir, you may be sure that 'clination to serve—sir Harry-madam-court I am going to the Jubilee, sir.
my cousin--gentleman-fortune Clin. jun. Jubilee! What's that?
• Your ladyship's most humble servant, Vizard.' Clin. sen. Jubilee! Why, the Jubilee is Sir, your fortune and quality are sufficient to Faith, I don't know what it is.
recommend you any where ; but what goes farDick. Why, the Jubilee is the same thing as ther with me, is the recommendation of so sober our lord Mayor's day in the city; there will be and pious a young gentleman as my cousin Vizard, Vol. II.