It was my plot; alas, my credulous husband! The lady told you, too Per. Most strange things of thee. And view them right Caca. To doubt them is an heresy. Estif. A thousand ducats; 'tis upon necessity Estif. Still 'twas my way, and all to try your Of present use; her husband, sir, is stubborn. suffrance. Per. I would believe thee, Caca. Long may he be so. Estif. She desires, withal, A better knowledge of your parts and person, And when you please to do her so much ho nour Caca. Come, let's dispatch. Estif. In truth I've heard her say, sir, But Heaven knows how my heart is; will ye Of a fat man she has not seen a sweeter. follow me? Estif. I'll be there straight. Per. I'm fooled, yet dare not find it. Estif. Go, silly fool; thou may'st be a good In open fields, but for our private service Enter CACAFOGO. Here comes another trout, that I must tickle, Caca. Prithee, be answered, thou shalt crave I am in my meditations; do not vex me; That people had compassion on, it looked so! If money could come near, yet I would pay him; Estif. Pray you, hear me. [Exit. Juan. I am commanded. San. That such an oyster-shell should hold a Caca. I know thou hast some wedding-ring to And of so rare a price, in prison! What is thy will? I turn me wholly to ye; Was she made to be the matter of her own un doing, To let a slovenly, unwieldy fellow, She should shine, where she might shew like her self, An absolute sweetness, to comfort those admire her, And shed her beams upon her friends. And talk now till thy tongue ache, I will hear ye. And all the world will grumble at your patience, Estif. She would intreat you, sir : Caca. She shall command, sir; If she be ravished thus. Duke. Ne'er fear it, Sanchio; Let it be so; I beseech thee, my sweet gentle- We'll have her free again, and move at court woman, Do not forget thyself. Estif. She does command, then, This courtesy, because she knows you're noble. Estif. My natural mistress. Upon these jewels, sir, they're fair and rich, In her clear orb. But one sweet handsomeness To bless this part of Spain, and have that slub bered! Alon. 'Tis every good man's cause, and we must stir in it. Duke. I'll warrant ye, he shall be glad to please us, ed me; Bid her be lusty, she must make a soldier. Leon. To the wars, Lorenzo. Ser. Must my mistress go, sir? ye entirely, sir, brought to consider And tell him 'tis unjust to part two souls, Leon. By no means, sweet-heart. Mar, If he were married but four days, as I amLeon. He'd hang himself the fifth, or fly his [Aside. country. Mar. He'd make it treason for that tongue, But talk of war, or any thing to vex him, Leon. Indeed I must, sweet wife. Mar. I'll to the duke, my cousin; he shall to the king. Leon. He did me this great office; I thank his grace for it: should I pray him now To undo it again? Fie, 'twere a base discredit. Mar. Would I were able, sir, to bear you company! How willing should I be then, and how merry! I will not live alone. Leon. Be in peace, you shall not. [Knocking within. Mar. What knocking's this? Oh, Heaven, my head! Why, rascal, I think the wars begun in the house already. Leon. The preparation is, they are taking down And packing up the hangings, plate and jewels, And all those furnitures, that shall befit me, When I lie in garrison. We shall find shipping for't there to transport it. Mar. I go? Alas! Leon. I'll have a main care of ye: Leon. Ay, your mistress, and you, and all must I know you are sickly; he shall drive the easier, And all accommodation shall attend ye. Leon. Come, I warrant ye. Am not I with ye, sweet? Are her clothes packed up, And all her linen? Give your maids direction : You know my time's but short, and I'm com manded. Mar. Let me have a nurse, Leon. It shall not trot, I warrant ye; Mar. I am with child, sir. Leon. At four days warning! This is samething speedy. Do you conceive as our jennets do, with a west | To such a desolation and discredit, as wind? My heir will be an errant fleet one, lady. Her weakness and your hot will would work her to. Mar. You must provide a cradle, and what a Fie, fie, for shame! trouble's that! Leon. The sea shall rock it; Enter PEREZ. 'Tis the best nurse; 'twill roar and rock to- What mask is this now? More tropes and figures to abuse my sufferance! Juan. Michael Van Owle, how dost thou? Per. Things must both ebb and flow, colonel, A pretty house, ye see, handsomely seated, Sweet and convenient walks, the waters crystal. Alon. He's certain mad. Juan. As mad as a French tailor, that Has nothing in his head but ends of fustians. Per. I see you're packing now, my gentle cousin, And my wife told me I should find it so; 'Tis true I do : you were merry, when I was last here: But 'twas your will to try my patience, madam. I'm sorry, that my swift occasions Can let you take your pleasure here no longer; Yet I would have you think, my honoured cousin, This house, and all I have, are all your servants. Leon. What house, what pleasure, sir? what do you mean? Per. You hold the jest so stiff, 'twill prove discourteous. This house I mean; the pleasures of this place. Leon. And what of them? Per. They're mine, sir, and you know it: My wife's, I mean, and so conferred upon me. The hangings, sir, I must entreat your servants, That are so busy in their offices, Again to minister to their right uses. I shall take view of the plate anon, and furnitures, That are of under place. You're merry still, cousin, And of a pleasant constitution: Men of great fortunes make their mirths ad pla Leon. Good-morrow, my sweet Mahound cousin. You are welcome-welcome all-my cousin tooWe are soldiers, and should naturally do for one another. Per. By this hand she dies for't, Or any man that speaks for her. These are fine toys. [Exit PEREZ. Mar. Let me request you stay but one poor month; You shall have a commission, and I'll go, too. Leon. Well, I will try ye. Good-morrow to your grace; we've private busi SCENE II-A Street. Enter PEREZ. Per: Had I but lungs enough to bawl sufficiently, That all the queans in Christendom might hear me, That men might run away from the contagion, Cut her in pieces, every piece will live still, They are too light to drown, they're cork and feathers; To burn too cold, they live like salamanders: Enter CACAFOGO, with a casket. Caca. Be cozened by a thing of clouts! a she moth, That every silkman's shop breeds! To be cheated, And of a thousand ducats, by a whim-wham! Per. Who is he, that's cheated? Speak again, thou vision! Per. It is no matter. By a woman cozened, A real woman! Caca. By a real devil. Plague of her jewels, and her copper chains, Per. Sweet, cozened sir, let's see them. I have been cheated, too; I would have you note that; And lewdly cheated, by a woman also, Caca. Pray ye, take it ; You are the merriest undone man in Europe. What need we fiddles, bawdy songs, and sherry, When our own miseries can make us merry? Per. Ha, ha, ha! I've seen these jewels: what a notable pennyworth Have you had! You will not take, sir, Caca. Thou'rt deceived; I will take- Some any thing, some half ten, half a ducat. sure: D'ye mark their waters? Caca. Quicksands choak their waters, And her's that brought them, too! but I shal find her. Per. And so shall I, I hope: but do not hurt her. If you had need of cozening, as you may have, But art thou cheated? Minister some comfort. ly? Come, prithee come; art thou so pure a coxcomb, To be undone? Do not dissemble with me. For I'm a spirit wild, that flies about thee; Caca. Dost thou laugh? Damnably, I say, most damnably. Per. By whom, good spirit? Speak, speak! Ha, ha, ha! Caca. I'll utter; laugh till thy lungs crack; by a rascal woman! A lewd, abominable, and plain woman! Per. I must laugh; prithee pardon me, I shall laugh terribly. Caca. I shall be angry, Terribly angry; I have cause. Per. That's it; And 'tis no reason but thou shouldst be angry, Angry at heart; yet I must laugh still at thee. By a woman cheated! Art sure it was a woman? Caca. I shall break thy head; my valour itches at thee, You cannot find, in all this kingdom, [Erit. Caca. If I were valiant now, I'd kill this fel low, I've money enough lies by me, at a pinch, SCENE III.-A street. [Exit. |