put to you." "I doesn't consider a man's bound to answer a question afore he's time to turn it in his mind." Nothing can be more simple, sir, than the question put. I again repeat it: Upon what authority do you swear to the animal's age?" "The best authority," responded the witness, gruffly. "Then why such evasion? Why not state it at once?" "Well, then, if you must have it."-" Must! I will have it," vociferated the counsellor, interrupting the witness. "Well, then, if you must and will have it," rejoined the ostler, with imperturbable gravity, "why, then, I had it myself from the mare's own mouth." A simultaneous burst of laughter rang through the court. The judge, on the bench, could with difficulty restrain his risible muscles to judicial decorum.

Our readers may remember the story of the two Irish friends, who, from long practice, arrived at great proficiency in the science of unlawfully abstracting their neighbor's property, and were not only true to the old maxim of "honor among thieves," but evinced an ingenuity and skill worthy of a better cause. One, having appropriated a goose, was on the point of being condemned by a jury for theft, when the friend appeared and swore that the bird was his, and had been ever since it was a gosling, and the prisoner on this was acquitted. Afterwards, in the course of his calling, the ingenious witness was himself arraigned for stealing a gun. "Don't be onaisey," whispered the former culprit, "I'll relase ye." Thereupon he stepped into the witness-box, and boldly affirmed that the gun was his, and that it had been in his possession ever since it had been a pistol.

An exposé of the tender passion often occurs, which the papers recite with heightening effect, so that we are not called upon to say much on that subject; but as we have a sample of that kind which is short and sweet, we place it before the reader. In the Sheriff's Court, London, recently, a Miss Rogers obtained £64 damages against a certain swain, bearing the suspicious name of Bachelor, for breach of promise of

marriage. A number of the defendant's love letters were produced, in which the fluctuations of his love were very amusingly exhibited. His first epistles terminated with, "Yours, J. B.;" then fired up to "My ever dearest Maria ;" afterwards they softened into "My Darling ;" then cooled into "Dear Maria;" then formalized into "Dear Miss Rogers ;" and broke off with the following announcement :- "You wish to know how I intend to settle; all I can say is, that I cannot be more settled than I am."

It is reported of Caligula that he caused the laws of Rome to be written in small characters, and stuck up so high that the citizens could not read them; with the same intent and motive, it might be supposed, that our modern legislators and lawyers are actuated by-namely, the placing their sage edicts above the apprehension of common minds, or at any rate beyond their reach for any available purposes. A facetious writer has given the following analysis of a law, and with it we may as well close our rambling essay : In the first place it is declaratory; in the second, it is directory; in the third, it is remedial; and in the fourth, it is vindicatory. The declaratory says so and so is wrong, and the directory says immediately it shall not be done; but it sometimes contrives to say so in such very civil and mysterious terms as to leave people in doubt whether they may do a thing or not, until they find all of a sudden they are put in possession of its true meaning, and punished into the bargain for their obtuseness in not having been able to understand it before. It is remedial, for it gives a remedy; thus, if you are deprived of your rights you have the remedy of a law-suit, which is a great luxury, and it must be admitted, an expensive one. It is also vindicatory, for it attaches a penalty-and such is the majesty of law, that, whether right or wrong, he is sure to have to bear a portion of the penalty who presumes in any way to meddle with it." The rules for interpreting law are extremely arbitrary. Words are to be taken in their popular sense, without regard to gram

mar, which is, of late, becoming a matter of such trivial moment amongst us, that it is hardly worth the noticing. Grotius thought that the penalty on crime was a sort of tax on sin, which some seem to think might be defined without regard to syntax.

There are many antiquated absurdities and heresies, which have to be reformed, before our legal institutions can be regarded as adapted to the wants of the age. One of the absurd customs still in vogue in courts of justice, is that of inquiring whether the party arraigned, is guilty or not of the offence alleged against him. This was recently rendered ludicrous by the reply to the question: "Guilty or not guilty?" by a native of the Emerald Isle-"Just as your honor plazes. It's not for the likes o' me to dictate to your honor's worship."

The following is an amusing anecdote of the well-known Cooke, the actor and musician. At a trial in the Court of King's Bench, in 1833, betwixt certain music-publishers as to an alleged piracy of an arrangement of the song of The Old English Gentleman, Cooke was subpoenaed as a witness by one of the parties. On his cross-examination by Sir James Scarlett, afterwards Lord Abinger, for the opposite side, that learned counsel questioned him thus:-"Now, sir, you say that the two melodies are the same, but different; now what do you mean by that, sir?" To this Tom promptly answered,—“ I said that the notes in the two copies were alike, but with a different accent, the one being in common time, the other in six-eight time; and consequently, the position of the accented notes was different."-"Now, pray sir, don't beat about the bush, but explain to the jury, who are supposed to know nothing about music, the meaning of what you call accent." Cooke. "Accent in music is a certain stress laid upon a particular note, in the same manner as you would lay a stress upon any given word for the purpose of being better understood. Thus, if I were to say; "you are an ass,' it rests on ass; but

if I were to say, 'You are an ass,' it rests on you, Sir James." Shouts of laughter by the whole court followed this repartee. Silence at length having been obtained, the judge, with much seeming gravity, accosted the counsel thus: "Are you satisfied, Sir James ?" Sir James (who had become scarlet in more than name), in a great huff, said "The witness may go down."

We close our desultory chapter, by citing a paragraph from the author of "Companions of my Solitude," because it recapitulates, in brief, the "law points" most vulnerable.

"What a loss is there-of time, of heart, of love, of leisure. The myriad oppressions and vexations of law. There are many things done now in the law, at great expense, by private individuals, which ought to be done for all by officers of the State. It is as if each individual had to make a road for himself whenever he went out, instead of using 'the King's highway.' I do not know a meaner and sadder portion of a man's existence, or one more likely to be full of impatient sorrow, than that which he spends at the offices of lawyers. Many of the adjuncts and circumstances of law are made to retain, for the sake of mystery, its uncouth form and size of deeds, its antiquated words, and unusual character of hand-writing. Physicians' prescriptions may have a better effect for being expressed mysteriously, but legal matters cannot surely be made too clear, even in the merest minutiæ."

After all we have to urge against the law, we beg to acknowledge allegiance to its high authority; and, as to its administrators, let the words of an old epigram speak for us :

When we've nothing to dread from the law's sternest frowns,
We all laugh at the barrister's wigs, bags, and gowns ;

But as soon as we want them to sue or defend,

Then their laughter begins, and our mirth's at an end.

THE reasoning faculty in man is supposed to be the proud prerogative which confers his preeminent distinction in the scale of being; to institute a comparison, therefore, between it and the instincts of the inferior creation may well excite surprise, and possibly be deemed incongruous, if not absurd. The inculcation of moral precept in the form of fable, dates as far back as the days of Esop; and this favorite expedient-so attractive and suggestive-has ever since been regarded as equally poetic, elegant, and impressive. Need we higher

authority for its adoption, it may be found among the earliest records of the sacred canon: "Ask now the beasts, and they

* A term originating with Lord Erskine, as a substitute for the phrase "brute creation."