Hea. Why, you are a perfect prodigy of genius.

Sol. I believe I have pick'd up a little; and the captain of the cutter, on our coast, that traded in brandy, taking me to Dunkirk for six months, perhaps has given me a jenny see quaw, to which the commonality seldom perspire.

Hea. Who was that captain, Solomon?

Sol. Quite the gentleman-an elly gong, as the French say; and felt such a sympathy against vulgar custom, house officers, he'd have no dealings with them; so he always smuggled.

Hea. But I hope no lives are lost amongst our neighbours.

Sol. Not a Christian soul, except the old village Bull and a Porker. Their loss is to be implored, though they were but quadlipeds. But a number of accidents - Jacob Grull, the hump-back'd taxman, jumped out of his cock-loft into the water-tub ;-poor reformed creature! If we hadn't heard him bawling "Fire!" he'd have been drowned. And fat Mrs. Doubletun scrambling down a ladder, in her husband's short frock, to the farm yard, was so pick'd at by the cock-turkey, she won't be able to assayez voo for a fortnight.

Hea. These calamities are not very serious;-but a number of buildings are doubtless destroyed.

Sol. All down but the house of deception for travellers, and the contagious brick messages beyond it. We worked hard to save 'em, laboured like gallypot slaves.

Hea. I will do all in my power to be of service in the general calamity.

Sol. We know that. You are full of amour proper for your neighbours as we say at Dunkirk: nobody doubts the malevolence of your heart.

Hea. An hour hence I shall be among you in the village. Sol. An hour! Then your amee who has been overturned, will be put out of patience.

Hea. A friend of mine overturned in the village?

Sol. Plump into the horse-pond, shot from a chaise, out at elbows, with four posters. Don't be frightened; he fell too much in the mud to be hurt.

Hea. You're sure he's safe?

Sol. As his most sanguinary friend could wish.

Hea. What's his name?

Sol. Can't tell. He's at the Spread Eagle. The carriage broken in twenty morso's, I help'd to drag it. No coachmaker by, I offered to impair it. The great gentleman was daubed and looked like a hog. No servant with him. I scraped him. He read my board as I was rubbing him down. Wanted to send you a billy—no messenger at hand— I've brought it. He gave me a guinea, I called him an angel; he bid me run like a fury. I told him I would: so I have, and there's the contentions.-[Gives a letter.

Hea. [Reading the letter.] "Dear Heartly, I have just tumbled into my estate. Let none of the villagers know who I am till I get to my house, I hate fuss. Don't say I am a rich man. Come to me at the alehouse.

JOHN TOONEY."

I will wait on the gentleman, Solomon, directly.

Sol. That's just what I should like to do, myself. Speak a good word to him for me. Pauvre Solomon Gundy, just burnt out, kills vermin, and dresses gentlemen. I know he will attend to your imprecations.

Hea. There's no hurry-he'll stay in the neighbourhood some time.

Sol. Will he? Take a chateau perhaps. I am up to everything about a house.

Hea. Well, well-follow me, and we'll see what can be done for you.

Sol. I thank your honour, I'm very graceful. If I am but burnt in a good place after all, this fire will turn out as fine a few de joy of misfortune to me as could possibly be. I'll follow your honour.

COLMAN.

425

DEBATES.

ARE THE MENTAL CAPACITIES OF THE
SEXES EQUAL?

I

The Chairman. Gentlemen,-I feel very highly the honour you have done me by placing me in the chair. will not waste your time, however, by inflicting a speech upon you, but will proceed at once to the proper business of the meeting. The question we are to discuss is as follows [Reads from a roll of paper] :—“ Are the mental capacities of the sexes equal?" I beg to call upon the Opener to commence the debate. I have only to add that I hope the discussion will be carried on in a manner befitting the importance and gravity of the subject. (Loud cries of "hear, hear"). [The chairman resumes his seat, and the opener rises].

The Opener. Sir, in rising to open the question which has been put from the chair, I assure you that I feel the need of much indulgence, and I hope that I shall not be denied it. (Hear, hear). I expect no small amount of reproach and contumely for the part I mean to take in this debate; for I know the gallantry of many of my friends around me, and I fully make up my mind to smart under the weight of it. However, I will meet my fate boldly, at all events; I will declare at once, that I am a believer in the mental inferiority of the ladies. (Oh, Oh, met by cries of hear, hear); and, if my clamorous friends will let me, I will endeavour to prove that I am right. I will take my proofs from history. Which shines the brighter, the male sex or the female? Look among sovereigns-Where is

the female Cæsar ?-the female Alfred ?-the female Alexander?

Or take legislators-What woman have we to

compare with Solon or Lycurgus? Where are the female philosophers, moreover? Where is their Socrates, their Plato, their Newton? In literature, too, are the great names those of the fairer, or the sterner sex ? Homer, Shakespeare, Milton, Byron, what lady-writers equal these? (Hear, hear).

I shall not enter into the philosophical part of the question at all. Facts are the strongest arguments, and these I have produced. Besides, I dare say that some of my supporters will choose that view of the matter, and into their hands I am quite willing to resign it.

I feel that I should weaken my cause were I to say more. I therefore commit the question to your fair and full discussion, quite convinced that a just conclusion will at length be arrived at. (Cheers)

Second Speaker. Sir, my friend, who has just resumed his seat, has regarded this question as it is answered by history, I will view it by the light of reason and philosophy. (Hear, hear).

men.

I think, then, that women were meant to be inferior to The female of every kind of animal is weaker than the male, and why should a distinction be made with the human species? (Cheers).

The sphere which the female is called upon to fill, is the domestic one. To rule and to command is the sphere of man. He is here to govern and to guide. Now, the exercise of authority requires greater mental power than the duties of the other sex demand; and I think that man would not have been called upon to rule had not greater power been conferred upon him. Where would be the unutterable delight that now dwells in the magic word

HOME," if woman were more intellectually subtle than she is? All these true joys would be lost to us; and woman, instead of earning our gratitude and affection by creating them, would be studying metaphysics, diving into theology, or searching out new stars. (Hear, hear). It seems to me that the very happiness of the world depends upon the inequalities and differences existing in the minds of the sexes, and therefore I shall vote with my friend the Opener. (Cheers).

Third Speaker. Sir, I rise to defend the ladies. (Loud

cries of hear, hear). I admit the ability of my two friends who have preceded me; but I dispute their arguments, and I utterly deny their conclusions. (Cheers). I shall deal with the opener only, and leave the other gentleman to the tender mercies of succeeding speakers. (Cheers).

Our friend referred us to history; very unfortunately, I think. He spoke of rulers; Where is the female Cæsar? said he, and the female Alexander? I am proud to reply— Nowhere. (Loud cheers). No, sir, the fair sex can claim no such murderers (cheers), no such usurpers (cheers), no such enemies of mankind. (Cheers). But I will tell my friend what the fair sex can boast: it can boast an Elizabeth, and also a Victoria. (Loud and continued cheering). While the ladies can claim such rulers as these, their male detractors may keep their Cæsars and Alexanders to themselves; and I for one shall never reclaim them from their keeping. (Cheers and laughter).

I had more to say, sir, but I feel that other speakers would occupy your time more profitably, and so I will resume my seat. (Cheers).

Fourth Speaker. Sir, the speaker who has just sat down, was scarcely justified in calling his opponents "detractors of the ladies;" such an epithet is scarcely fair (hear), and he would prove his point better, by using more moderate language. (Hear, hear). He has spoken of Elizabeth and Victoria, and I agree in his admiration of those distinguished characters; but I would just remind him that history speaks of a Mary as well as an Elizabeth (hear, hear) of a Cleopatra as well as a Victoria. (Loud cheers.) I am not determined, sir, upon which side I shall vote. I wait to be convinced; and I assure my friends on both sides, that I am quite open to conviction. (Hear, hear),

Fifth Speaker. Then I, sir, will try to convince my friend. I will try to convince him that he should adopt the cause of the ladies. The fair sex have not yet had justice done them. What is the argument employed to prove their inferiority? Simply this that they are not such strong rulers, such learned lawgivers, or such great poets. But suppose I grant this; the sexes may be mentally equal notwithstanding. For, if I can shew that the female sex possess qualities which the male sex do not