Laertes. In with her then : (The coffin is put into the grave) and

if, as gossips tell, Old maids are destin'd to lead apes

in hell, May'st thou be one in my poor sister's train.

Hamlet. my

old sweetheart ! We're bewitch'd, 'tis plain (h).

Queen. (Scattering flowers) Instead of this, as I'm a living

sinner, I thought t' have had soon a good wedding-dinner.

[The Gravedigger about to throw

the earth into the grave.

What,

DUETT.-LAERTES AND HAMLET.

(Tune~" Nancy Dawson.”)

Laertes.
Sexton, throw aside your spade,
Don't be in so much haste, my blade;
Once more I'll buss the bonny maid,
Before the grave you fill, Sir.

[Leaps into the grave.

Now cover up the quick and dead,
And pile your dust upon my head,
"Till of this flat a mount you've made

As high as Greenwich-hill, Sir.

Hamlet (advancing).
Who's ranting in so fine a strain ?

Laertes.
Pray, who are you?

Hamlet.

Hamlet, the Dane.

Laertes.
I'm glad I've caught you here again-
Now dam'me but I'll choak thee.

[Springs out of the grave, and catches

Hamlet by the throat.

Hamlet.
Let go my throat-don't squeeze so tight;
For, tho' I'm not the first to fight,
I'll thump you to your heart's delight-

So you'd better not provoke me.

I'll fight for her (so hold your mag)
Until my eye-lids cease to wag;
But if you only mean to brag,

Come tell me what you'll do, Sir ?
Of paltry Greenwich-hill you speak,
But on me I'll let them pile a heap
That shall rival the Devil's A-e a-peak-
I'll rant as well as you, Sir.

[Exeunt Hamlet and Horatio.

Queen. Alas, he's crack'd! Awhile he'll growl like Towzer (i) : Anon, he's patient as a hungry mouser (k).

King.
Good Gertrude, see your crazy son you make fast.

[Exit Queen. And now, Laertes, we'll go home to breakfast.

[Exeunt King, Laertes, &c. &c.

SCENE V.

A Hall in the Palace.

Enter HAMLET and HORATIO.

Hamlet.
Horatio, I am sorry for this squabble;
I fear 'twill get me in a precious hobble.

Enter OSRICK.

Osrick. (To Hamlet) His Majesty bath made a match for you,

Sir,
To
spar
with

young Laertes—a prime bruiser ;-
And betted him ten shillings to a crown
That you, my lord, will give the first knock down.
Laertes is quite ready to set to;
They're all assembled, and but wait for you.

Hamlet.
Lead on : I'll fight him, Sir: I ne'er felt bolder.

Horatio,
I'll be your second.

Osrick.
1, your bottle-holder.

[Exeunt.

King and Queen seated-LAERTES, OSRICK, MARCELLUS,

BERNARDO, GENTLEMEN, and LADIES, discovered.

Enter HAMLET and HORATIO.

King.

To put an end to squabble, strife, and noise,
Shake hands and make it up, my jolly boys.

[To Hamlet and Laertes.

Hamlet. (To Laertes) Sir, I have done you wrong, and sorely

rue it, But, on my word, I didn't go to do it; Therefore, let's make it up ;-come, don't be hard on

Laertes.
Enough ; no man can do more than beg pardon. -
We're friends.-

Hamlet.

With all my heart. Come, let's set to. Bring me the gloves

Laertes.
And bring me a pair too.

King. Hamlet, you know the wager.

Hamlet.

Aye, my Lord; You've back'd the worser man tho', on my word.

King.
I'm not afraid; I'm sure you'll not fight shy;
If you don't win, I know at least you'll try.

Laertes. These gloves are much too tight-another pair

Hamlet. Mine fit.- Are his as soft as mine?

Osrick.

All's fair.

King. If i th’ two first rounds Hamlet hit most blows, Or 'scape the third without a bloody nose, Let all the guns we've got make the discovery;-The King shall drink to Hamlet's quick recovery: And in the beer this nutmeg shall he pound, The largest that in Denmark could be found. Give me the mug: now drum a loud tattoo; The drum shall tell the trumpet what to do; The trumpet's tanta rara, post, (1) shall set off, And tell the cannoneer the guns to let off; The cannoneer shall fire 'em, and then--stopI think I've said enough-I'll drink a drop.