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Queen.
What act d'you mean?—You hoax-there's nothing

in it.

Fas.)

Hamlet.
I'll let you know my meaning in a minute.

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Come sit you down here, ma'am, a little,

And I'll shew you two counterfeit faces;
They're done from the life to a tittle-

Come, none of your fine airs and graces.
Look on this first : the likeness you well know-

Like a ploughman so plump and so chubby;
A good-looking, fine, strapping, fellow ;-

Now, madam, this once was your hubby.

e.

Ri tol, doo

You'll now please to look upon this :

I'd have married a monkey as soon-
An old, ugly, undersizd, quiz

Zounds! the fellow looks like a baboon!
How could

you

take this and forego
The one I now hold in my hand, mother?
You can't say 'twas for love; for you know
That you're almost as old as my grandmother.

Ri tol, 4c.

on

Queen. 0, say no more -I'll mind what I'm about: Your words have almost turn'd me inside out.

Hamlet.
Nay, but to live, (in not the best repute,)
With that inhuman, cruel, murd'rous, brute;
A very Filch, that more deserves to hang
Than any one of the light-finger'd gang;
That from a shelf the precious crown did thieve,
And put it in his pocket--without leave:
A King of shreds and patches—(Enter Ghost,) Ha!

here's dad !
What is't you're come about ?

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Hamlet—0, spectre grim! What brings thee here now?.

Thou com'st thy tardy son to chide, I fear now.
I own thy commission, as yet, is not quite done ;

Don't be in a hurry, and all shall be right done.
Ghost Thee of thy promise I come to remind, Sir :-
(Bass) A nod's like a wink to a horse that is blind, Sir.

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Queen -Say, Hamlet, say, on what art thou staring;

So frightend am I, that I vow 'tis past bearing.
On what art thou looking ? To whom art thou

talking ?
I can see nothing! 0, where art thou walking ?
Ghost — But look at thy mother; she seems in a stew, Sir ;

Tell her she'd better not be frighten'dm-pray do, Sir!

Hamlet_Whom 'tis I look at, fain you'd be knowing :

Straight thro' the trap-door now he's going.
Queen - Whom ’tis you look at, fain I'd be knowing:

Who thro’ the trap-door now is going?
Ghost Whom 'tis you look at, fain she'd be knowing :
Straight thro' the trap-door now I'm going.

[Ghost sinks.

Together.

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Queen.
Hamlet, these pranks of your's do much amaze me;
You surely must be either drunk or crazy.

Hamlet.
Mother, I fear

your
crimes are past

all

cure; But I am no more mad nor drunk than you are. So don't humbug yourself; I'm not in liquor.Confess

your sins this instant to the vicar; Repent what's past, and don't do so again

Queen.
O, Hamlet, you have cut my heart in twain.

Hamlet.
Then throw away the rotten part, good mother,
And strive to make a better use of t'other.
Good night; and, when you next lay down your head,

kick
my

uncle out of bed :

Be sure you

For tho' at best you're no great things—'twere right
To keep appearance up.-Once more, good night.

[Exit Queen. I must be staunch with her--- I dare not falter: And thus we whip a thief, to save him from the halter.

[Exit Hamlet.

END OF THE SECOND ACT.

HAMLET TRAVESTIE.

ACT THE THIRD.

SCENE I.

An Apartment in the Palace.

Enter KING and Queen.

King.
Explain these sighs; 'tis fit we share the fun:
How's Hamlet?

Queen.

Mad as butter in the sun: (a) Hearing a noise, a rat, a rat,” he roard, And in his crazy fit whipp'd out his sword, And ran Polonius thro’ behind the curtain.

King. Had we been there, he'd have spik'd us for certain. Soon as ’tis day-light he shall buy a brush; And this unlucky job we'll try to hush. Ho! Guildenstern! (Enter GUILD. and Rosen.) Just

now hath Hamlet slain, By way of joke, our poor lord-chamberlain.

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