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Something too much of this.—

Horatio.

Your lordship sent for me?

Hamlet.

Pray what's the reason

To smoke out treason.

You must with me in a good joke unite:
We have pic-nic theatricals to-night:
A pantomimic ballet I intend

To represent my dad's untimely end.

To do't in style I've made great preparations-
New music, scenery, dresses, decorations.
I've just sent tickets to the King and Queen-
Now watch my uncle in the murder-scene—
I'll bet a wager he'll convict himself;

If not, this spectre is a lying elf,

And I have all this time been drunk or dreaming
However, let us closely note his seeming.

My lord, we will.

Horatio.

[Flourish of Trumpets and Drums.

Hamlet.

- This trumpeting and drumming

Give notice that the King and Queen are coming.

To keep the joke up I must idle be;

Go to your place, and keep a seat for me.

A GRAND MARCH.

Enter POLONIUS, KING, QUEEN, OPHELIA, ROSENCRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN, OSRICK, MARCELLUS, BERNardo, GENTLEMEN, and LADIES.

King.

How fares our cousin Hamlet?

Hamlet.

Tightly, tightly;

I eat the air :-You can't feed pigs so lightly.

King.

Pooh!-Nonsense Sir!-Such words I don't acknow

ledge.

Hamlet.

(To Pol.) You told me, Sir, you acted once at college.

Polonius.

I acted Cæsar-Brutus laid me lower.

Hamlet.

A brute, indeed, to kill so great a bore!

Queen.

Come, sit by me, dear Hamlet, whilst they're acting.

Hamlet.

I'd rather not; here's metal more attracting.

(To Ophelia) Ophelia, may I lie upon your knees?

Ophelia.

O, surely; or wherever else you please.

Hamlet.

Look at mamma-She's grinning, by the pow'rs,
And father died within the last two hours!-

Two months.

Ophelia.

Hamlet.

So long? Nay then I'll turn the tables; The deuce take black; I'll have a suit of sables.

Ophelia.

Pray, what's the play, my Lord?

Hamlet.

I've ne'er a bill;

I cannot tell;-but that rum jockey will.

THE CURTAIN RISES.

Enter 2d ACTOR as Prologue.

For us, and for our pantomime,

We beg you'll give us grace and time (h).

[Exit.

D

THE PANTOMIME (¿).

SCENE.-A garden.

Enter Duke and Duchess-They embrace-Vow eternal love and constancy-Duke suddenly taken ill-Duchess alarmed -Shrieks-Enter a Page-Exit-and return with a bottle and glass-Duchess fills the glass for Duke, whilst she herself receives consolation from the bottle-Duke intimates that he feels his end fast approaching-Duchess strikes her forehead, clasps her hands, &c. &c.—(the usual pantomime signs of distress.)-Vows never to survive him-at least, to live single ever after-Duke shakes his head in a manner as expressive as possible of the monosyllable "fudge" -Duchess points to the cieling, (the pantomime mode of swearing), and exhibits a scroll thus inscribed:

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They embrace-Duke gently reclines his head over his right shoulder, and meets it with the palm of his right hand (pantomime for "sleepy")-Duchess takes the hint-Reaches a chair-Duke seats himself-Sleeps-Snores-Duchess points to the Duke-Presses her heart-Points to the cieling -and exit.

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You'll find they are but jesting in the end.
There's no offence: the story, please your grace,
A murder done in some outlandish place.

O, 'twas a scurvy trick; but that all nonsense is
Το you and I, my Lord, who have clear consciences:
I never did a murder-I can bear it;

But if the cap fit you, why, you may wear it.
But let's be quiet-See, they're coming in.-
Now, murd'rer, damn your faces, and begin.

The pantomime continued.

Enter Duke's nephew-Listens whether the Duke is asleep-Takes a bottle from his pocket-Attempts in vain to draw the cork--Exit And return with a corkscrew and a funnel-Draws the cork-Puts the funnel to Duke's ear-Pours the contents of the bottle into it-A noise-Exit in haste.

Hamlet.

Is not the case of the poor Duke a hard one?
For his estate he's poison'd in his garden.

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