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Something too much of this.

Horatio.

Pray what's the reason Your lordship sent for me?

Hamlet.

To smoke out treason.
You must wich mein a good joke unite:
We have pic-nic theatricals to-night:
A pantomimic ballet I intend
To represent my dad's untimely end.
To do't in style I've made great preparations
New music, scenery, dresses, decorations.
I've just sent tickets to the King and Queen-
Now watch my uncle in the murder-scene-
I'll bet a wager he'll convict himself;
If not, this spectre is a lying elf,
And I have all this time been drunk or dreaming
However, let us closely note his seeming.

Horatio.
My lord, we will.

[Flourish of Trumpets and Drums.

Hamlet.

This trumpeting and drumming Give notice that the King and Queen are coming. To keep the joke up I must idle be; Go to your place, and keep a seat for me.

A GRAND MARCH.

Enter POLONIUS, King, Queen, OPHELIA, Rosen

CRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN, OSRICK, MARCELLUS, BERNARDO, GENTLEMEN, and Ladies.

King. How fares our cousin Hamlet ?

Hamlet.

Tightly, tightly; I eat the air :-You can't feed pigs so lightly.

King. Pooh!-Nonsense Sir !--Such words I don't acknowledge.

Hamlet. (To Pol.) You told me, Sir, you acted once at college.

Polonius.
I acted Cæsar-Brutus laid me lower.

Hamlet.
A brute, indeed, to kill so great a bore!

Queen.
Come, sit by me, dear Hamlet, whilst they're acting.

Hamlet. I'd rather not; here's metal more attracting, (To Ophelia) Ophelia, may I lie upon your knees?

Ophelia. 0, surely; or wherever else you please.

Hamlet.
Look at mamma-She's grinning, by the pow'rs,
And father died within the last two hours !

Ophelia.
Two months.

Hamlet.
So long? Nay then I'll turn the tables ;
The deuce take black; I'll have a suit of sables.

Ophelia. Pray, what's the play, my Lord ?

Hamlet.

I've ne'er a bill; I cannot tell;—but that rum jockey will.

THE CURTAIN RISES.

Enter 2d Actor as Prologue.

For us, and for our pantomime,
We beg you'll give us grace and time (h).

[Exit.

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THE PANTOMIME (i).

SCENE.-A garden.

Enter Duke and Duchess-They embrace-Vow eternal love and constancy-Duke suddenly taken ill-Duchess alarmed -Shrieks-Enter a Page-Exit—and return with a bottle and glass-Duchess fills the glass for Duke, whilst she herself receives consolation from the bottle-Duke intimates that he feels his end fast approaching-Duchess strikes her forehead, clasps her hands, &c. &c.-(the usual pantomime signs of distress.)—Vows never to survive him—at least, to live single ever after-Duke shakes his head in a manner as expressive as possible of the monosyllable “ fudge” -Duchess points to the cieling, (the pantomime mode of swearing), and exhibits a scroll thus inscribed :

“ No second husband will I take,

“ When I have lost my first,
“ I swear : and if my vow I break,

• Why, then may I be curs’d."

They embrace-Duke gently reclines his head over his right

shoulder, and meets it with the palm of his right hand (pantomime for sleepy") -Duchess takes the hint-Reaches a chair-Duke seats himself— Sleeps—Snores-Duchess points to the Duke---Presses her heartPoints to the cieling and cxit.

Hamlet. (To Queen.) Like you the play?

Queen.

Indeed, I must confess, The lady vows too much.

Hamlei.

She means no less.

King.
I hope the actor's no offence intend.

Hamlet.
You'll find they are but jesting in the end.
There's no offence: the story, please your grace,
A murder done in some outlandish place.
0,'twas a scurvy trick; but that all nonsense is
To you and I, my Lord, who have clear consciences:
I never did a murder--I can bear it;
But if the cap fit you, why, you may wear it.
But let's be quiet-See, they're coming in.-
Now, murd'rer, damn your faces, and begin.

The pantomime continued. Enter Duke's nephew—Jistens whether the Duke is asleep~Take's

a bottle from his pocketAttempts in vain to draw the cork--Exit-And return with a corkscrew and a funnel-Draws the cork--Puts the funnel to Duke's ear-Pours the contents of the bottle into it-A noise-Exit in haste.

Hamlet.
Is not the case of the poor Duke a hard one?
For his estate he's poison'd in his garden.

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