Hamlet.

The world's gone mad-Curs'd fate, that ever I
Was born to have a finger in the pie!

[Exeunt.

SCENE V.

An Apartment in POLONIUS's House.

Enter POLONIUS, meeting OPHELIA.

Polonius.

You look stark mad, Ophelia !-What's the row? (s)

I thought 'twas Old Scratch,
So I fasten'd the latch,

And went on with my work as before;

But whilst my needle I was threading, Lord Hamlet popp'd his head inFor, d'ye mind, he kick'd open the door.

His doublet unbrac'd,

Was slung round his waist,

And his stockings were dirty and loose;
He was pale as a sheet,

And could scarce keep his feet :

Thus he came in, and star'd like a goose!

He took hold of my wrist,

And gave it a twist

That made me to quiver and quake:
He then began to quiz,

As tho' he meant to draw my phiz;

And then gave me a terrible shake.

Next so sadly he sigh'd,

Lord! I thought he'd have died!

Then he thrice up and down shook his noddle. After treating me so,

He thought fit to let me go;

And then tow'rds the stairs did he waddle.

"Twas a chance he didn't fall

Over bannisters and all,

For I vow not a step could he see;

To my utter surprize,

He found his way without his eyes,——

To the last they were bent upon me.

C

Polonius.

Come, go with me, I will go seek the king:
Hamlet's behaviour is not quite the thing.
Have you of late been snappish to him, pray?

Ophelia.

Oh, no-I never did a cross word say:
I merely sent his letters back by scores,
And when he call'd, I turn'd him out o'doors.

Polonius.

Aye! that hath made him mad—I do not doubt it. 'We'll to the king, and tell him all about it.

[Exeunt.

SCENE VI.

The Palace.

Enter KING, QUeen, Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern.

King.

Welcome, dear Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern:
You have come just in time to serve our turn.
Something you've heard of Hamlet's transformation;
But to account for his sad situation

We find impossible; so you must pump

him:

If he won't tell by fair means-why then-thump him.

Queen.

Good gentlemen, right heartily he'll greet you, often hath he wish'd to meet you;

For very

So stay, and find out what his real state is,

And we will give you board and lodging gratis.

Rosen.

Needs must (t)-You'd make us tarry if we wou'dn't, And if we rather chose to go we cou❜dn't.

Guild.

We'll so behave ourselves that you shall boast of us; Whilst we remain, I'd have you make the most of us.

Now pray discover what this fun is.

(To attendants) Hollo, there! bring these jockeys where

I think my plan will hit-they're caught, egad!
And all the family believe I'm mad.

Guild'stern and Rosencrantz just now they sent
To sift my secrets, but they miss'd their scent-
And old Polonius too-that sneaking prig-
But if I let them pump me, dash my wig.
Hold! something of the play'rs he said-aye-right.
I'll have them act a play this very night:

For guilty people oft (as nurses say)
Confess their sins when sitting at a play.-
They shall not act their tragedies; I'd rather
Have something 'bout the murder of my father:

We'll get

"Twill make a charming ballet-pantomime-
it up in style, if we have time.
The king shall come; he'll not suspect the trick;
I'll watch him close-I'll touch him to the quick:
The charge against him is, as yet, deficient,-
The honour of a ghost is not sufficient;

But if the play affect him, I shall tell, O!
That he's a knave-the ghost an honest fellow.

[Exit Hamlet.

END OF THE FIRST ACT.