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An Apartment in POLONIUS's House.
Enter POLONIUS, meeting OPHELIA.
Polonius. You look stark mad, Ophelia !-What's the row! (s)
Ophelia. I've had a precious fright.
Pray tell me how.
(Tune" Mrs. Clarke.")
My Lord, you must know,
A few minutes ago,
Now conceive my alarm,
When (not dreaming of harm)
I thought 'twas Old Scratch,
So I fasten'd the latch,
But whilst my needle I was threading,
Lord Hamlet popp'd his head inFor, d’ye mind, he kick'd open the door.
His doublet unbrac'd,
Was slung round his waist,
He was pale as a sheet,
And could scarce keep his feet :Thus he came in, and star'd like a goose !
He took hold of my wrist,
And gave it a twist
He then began to quiz,
As tho' he meant to draw my phiz ; And then gave me a terrible shake.
Next so sadly he sigh’d,
Lord! I thought he'd have died ! Then he thrice up and down shook his noddle.
After treating me so,
He thought fit to let me go ;
'Twas a chance he didn't fall
Over bannisters and all,
To my utter surprize,
He found his way without his eyes,To the last they were bent upon mé.
Enter King, Queen, ROSENCRANTZ, and GUILDENSTERN,
often hath he wish'd to meet you;
discover what this fun is. (To attendants) Hollo, there! bring these jockeys where
my son is.
Another Room in the Palace.
Hamlet. I think my plan will hit—they're caught, egad! And all the family believe I'm mad. Guild’stern and Rosencrantz just now they sent To sift my secrets, but they miss'd their scent And old Polonius toothat sneaking priga But if I let them pump me, dash my wig. Hold! something of the play'rs he said-aye-right. I'll have them act a play this very night: For guilty people oft (as nurses say) Confess their sins when sitting at a playThey shall not act their tragedies; I'd rather Have something 'bout the murder of my father:
"Twill make a charming ballet-pantomime-
get it up in style,-if we have time.