call him small, by St. Patrick, I have seen an horse as small as two of him!' A certain character who loved Rum more than he did wisdom, was in the habit of frequenting a particular Grog-shop, and it appeared impossible for him to pass the fatal spot. One morning being determined to master his evil propensity; he started and ran full speed some rods past his old rendezvous, then stopping short he exclaimed with en exulting laugh, well done resoultion, go back with me, and by G---d Ill treat you?' A penurious old farmer engaged an Indian to make some baskets, and promised to pay the Indian with good hog's plucks. The baskets were finished; the farmer produced his plucks, but had taken care to curtail them of the hearts and tongues. Well, well, said the Indian, with a bitter smile, white man, are good; no hearts to deceive, neither have they tongues to lie. Enigma. "I am the King of Prussia's Sister,' said one gentleman to another, and he spoke the truth. Now ye witty dames, and dashing beaus of this fa med city of York, solve the assertion if you can. An Irishman went to visit one of his countrymen who lay very ill. 'Pat,' said the visitor, supI believe I posing an you die. shall be after coming to your funeral. And if you do,' replied the sick man,' by the holy I shall not go ! Handsome Man and Ugly Wife. A young man, remarkable for his beauty and elegance of person, was married to a woman exceedingly deformed and ugly; one evening as they were sitting together,' My dear,' said he, "I congratulate you, I am the messenger of good news; you and I are certainly to be in Paradise.' May God,' said the woman, always make you the messenger of good news; but what is the occasion of your present warm adWhy,' returned dress to me?' the husband,' I shall certainly go It was my lot to to paradise. have such a woman as you for my wife: I have borne it patiently: you will also go to Paradise, because I was given you, and you are thankful. Now God himself has said by Mahomet, that the patient and thankful are to be blessed in Paradise. Every one has bis cricket in his head. St. Albans, (Vermont) Sept. 13. After a while she grew uneasy about him, and sent to one of On the 2d inst. Elder Smith, the neighbours to enquire afof Derry, in this state, returnter him, and finding he had ing home from a visit at not been there, she became Windsor, where he was formore alarmed. At length two of the little children went to merly settled as a Baptist minister, was observed by his famthe barn, and there discovered ily to be in a very gloomy state him hanging! They screamof mind. His wife enquired ed aloud that their daddy was the cause, to which he replied hanging in the barn. The that he was under strong tempt. neighbours immediately colations. This, his wife under-lected, and finding him lifeless, stood; as about nine years be fore he had been in a similar situation, from which having recovered, he told his wife, that on such a certain night, he became almost determined to murder her, his family and himself-of course she supposed on this occasion, that he might recover as before, and desired him to pray for divine assistance. The next day he continued extremely dejected. On the morning of the 4th instant he rose about day light, walked the room a few times, called his wife by name, who being asleep, did not answer him. (This is related by one of his children then awake in the room), He then left the house. The family arose rather late in the morning, and not fining him about the house, his wife concluded he had retired to secrt prayer. suffered him to remain in the same situation, till after the jury of inquest brought in their verdict.-Premeditated Suicide. It appeared evident on entering the barn, he took up an adze, and struck himself with the head of it, two or three time; then turned the edge, and cut a large gash on the back of his head. From the place where he made this attempt, his bloody traces were followed to the other end of the barn, where he was found suspended by a pair of leading lines. Travelling Anecdote of Bonaparte. of her ancestors, the ancient so Bonaparte, during his last jour-vereigns of those countries, whose tombs have been broken by the ney, did not allow his new wife Historians relate that an old woman at Rome gave the tyrant Nero her blessing, and wished him a long reign. This surprised a man who was conscious of his having well deserved the public odium, and he enquired into her reason for such extraordinary benevolence. Why, said she, your predecessors have been each worse than them altogether, that common prudence renders me anxious for your life, lest the Devil himself should succeed you in the empire. An Irish gentleman having a party to meet at a tavern, exclaimed, on arriving, (finding the room empty,) "So I am first after all." The waiter informed him that he was mistaken, that his friends had been there, but were gone. "Very well," returned the Hibernian, "then I have made no mistake; for as they were all here before me, surely I was right in saying, "I am first after all." An Irish soldier, lately arrived from Spain, being asked if he met with much hospitality? replied a great deal too much. I was in the hospital nearly all the time I was there." DIOGENES being asked, the biting of which beast was the most dangerous, answered, "If you mean wild beasts 'tis the slanderer's; if tame ones 'tis the flatterers." The same day a drove of cattle crossing the new bridge at Schuy!kill Fall, broke it down by their weight, and fell into the river. The Baltimore Theatre opens on Wednesday next, under the firm of Warren & Wood, Mrs. Twaits is engaged there, and makes her first appearance, on Friday next, in Hermione in the Distressed Mother. From the National Ægis, (Mass.) MR. ROGERS, In the Ægis of the 22d ult.* you have given a laudable specimen of female dexterity, in a Miss Triphosa Butler, of New-York, in spinning and reeling in 15 hours and 10 minutes, eleven skeins of woolen yarn, of ten knots of forty threads each, and bid a challenge to "Ladies to outdo this if they can !"-This challenge put two young ladies, Miss Lois and Miss Maryamny, daughter of Mr. Jonathan Nye, of New-Brantree, in 15 hours they poduced on common wheels and reels 33 skeins of excellent woolen-yarn, of se ven knots and an half each ; which out-does Miss Triphosa five knots and an half each, in less time by ten minutes. |