Darl. Then think that Vizard, villain Vizard, caus'd all this, yet lives: that's all; farewell.

Wild. Stay, madam, [To Darling] one word; is there no other way to redrefs your wrongs, but by fighting?

Darl. Only one, fir, which if you can think of, you may do; you know the business l'entertain'd you for.

Wild. I understand you, madam. [Exit Darling.] Here am I brought to a very pretty dilemma, I muft commit murder, or commit matrimony; which is best now? a license from Doctors Commons, or a sentence from the Old Bailey? If I kill my man, the law hangs me: if I marry my woman, I shall hang myself. But, damn it.-Cowards dare fight; I'll marry, that's the moft daring action of the two: fo my dear coufin Angelica, have at you. [Exit. SCENE Newgate. Clincher fenior, folus.

Clin. fen. How fevere and melancholy are Newgate reflections Laft week my father died; yesterday I turn'd beau; to-day I am laid by the heels, and to-morrow fhall be hung by the neck-I was agreeing with a bookfeller about printing an account of my journey through France and Italy; but now the hiftory of my travels must be thro' Holborn to Tyburn-The laft and dying Speech of Beau Clincher, that was going to the Jubilee Come a half-penny a-piece. A fad found, a fad found, faith! 'tis one way to have a man's death make a great noife in the world.

Enter Smuggler and Gaoler.

Smug. Well, friend, I have told you who I am: fo fend thefe letters into Thames Street, as directed; they are to gentlemen that will bail me. [Exit Gaoler.] Eh! this Newgate is a very populous place; here's robbery and repentance in every corner.———- Well, friend, what are you? a cut-throat or a bum-bailiff?

Clin. fen. What are you, miftrefs? a bawd or a witch? heark'e, if you are a witch, d'ye fee, I'll give you a hundred pounds to mount me on a broom-staff, and whip me away to the Jubilee.

Smug.

who you are fo free with, fir; a woman of condition, that can call half a dozen footmen upon occafion.

Wild. Nay, madam, if you have a mind to tofs me in a blanket, half a dozen chamber-maids would do better fervice. -Come, come, madam, tho' the wine makes me lifp, yet it has taught me to fpeak plainer. By all the duft of my ancient progenitors, I must this night reft in your arms.

Ang. Nay then, who waits there? [Enter Footmen. Take hold of that madman, and bind him.

Wild. Nay, then Burgundy's the word, flaughter will enfue. Hold, do you know, fcoundrels, that I have been drinking victorious Burgunay? [Draws.

Servants. We know you're drunk, fir,

Wild. Then how have you the impudence, rafcals, to affault a gentleman with a couple of flasks of courage in

his head?

us.

Servants. We must do as our young mistress commands

Wild. Nay, then have among ye, dogs.

[Throws money amongst them; they feramble and take it

up. He pelting them out, fhuts the door and returns. Rafcals, Poltroons,-I have charm'd the dragon, and now the fruit's my own.

Ang. O, the mercenary wretches! this was a plot to betray me.

Wild. I have put the whole army to flight and now I'll take the general prifoner. [Laying hold on her.

Ang. I conjure you, fir, by the facred name of honour, by your dead father's name, and the fair reputa tion of your mother's chastity, that you offer not the leaft offence-already you have wrong'd me paft redress.

Wild. Thou art the most unaccountable creature.

Ang. What madness, Sir Harry! what wild dream of loofe defire cou'd prompt you to attempt this bafenefs? View me well. The brightness of my mind, methinks, fhould lighten outwards, and let you fee your mistake in my behaviour. I think it fhines with fo much innocence in my face, that it should dazzle all your vicious thoughts: think not I am defencelefs 'caufe

alone.

Wild. To defign, upon my honour.-And I hope my defign will fuccceed.

[Afide.

Lure. And what shall I give you for fuch a fine thing? Wild. You'll give me another, you'll give me another fine thing. [Both fing.

Lure. Shall I be free with you, Sir Harry?

Wild. With all my heart, madam, fo I may be free with you.

Lure. Then plainly, fir, I fhall beg the favour to fee you fome other time; for at this very minute I have two lovers in the house.

Wild. Then to be as plain, I must be gone this minute, for I muft fee another miftrefs within these two hours.

Lure. Frank and free.

Wild. As you with me-Madam, your most humble fervant. [Exit. Lure. Nothing can disturb his humour. Now for my merchant and Vizard. [Exit and takes the candles with her.

Enter Parly, leading in Smuggler, drefs'd in woman's cloaths.

Par. This way, Mr. Alderman.

Smug. Well, Mrs. Parly,-I'm oblig'd to you for this trouble, here are a couple of fhillings for you. Times are hard, very hard, indeed; but next time I'll fteal a pair of filk stockings from my wife, and bring them to you. What are you fumbling about my pockets for?'

Par. Only fetting the plaits of your gown;' here, fir, get into this closet, and my lady will wait on you prefently. [Puts him into the closet, runs out, and returns with Vizard.

Viz. Where would't thou lead me, my dear aufpicious little pilot ?

Par. You're almoft in port, fir; my lady's in the clofet, and will come out to you immediately. Viz. Let me thank thee as I ought.

[Kiffes her.

Par. Phaw, who has hir'd me beft; a

couple of

fhillings, or a couple of kiffes ?

Exit.

flufh'd poet, ravifh'd with his fancy, with ecftacy it bleft the fair production !-methinks, my friend, you relish not my joy. What is the cause?

-

Stand. Canft thou not guefs.-What is the bane of man, and scourge of life, but woman?-What is the heathenish idol man fets up, and is damn'd for worshiping? Treacherous woman.- What are thofe, whofe eyes, like bafilifks, fhine beautiful for fure destruction, whose fmiles are dangerous as the grin of fiends, but false deluding woman?-Woman! whofe compofition inverts humanity; their bodies heavenly; but their fouls are clay.

Wild. Come, come, colonel, this is too much; I know your wrongs receiv'd from Lurewell may excufe your refentments against her. But it is unpardonable to charge the failings of a fingle woman upon the whole fex. -I have found one, whofe virtues

Stand. So have I, Sir Harry; I have found one whofe pride's above yielding to a prince. And if lying, difə fembling, perjury and falfhood, be no breaches in a woman's honour, fhe's as innocent as infancy.

Wild. Well, colonel, I find your opinion grows. ftronger by oppofition; I fhall now therefore wave the argument, and only beg you for this day to make a fhew of complaifance at least. Here comes my charming bride.

Enter Darling and Angelica. Stand. [Saluting Angelica.] I wish you, madam, all the joys of love and fortune.

Enter Clincher junior.

Clin. jun. Gentlemen and ladies, I'm juft upon the fpur, and have only a minute to take my leave. Wild. Whither are you bound, fir ?

Clin. jun. Bound, fir! I'm going to the Jubilee, fir. Darl. Blefs me, coufin! how came you by these cloaths?

Clin. jun. Cloaths! ha, ha, ha! the rareft jeft! ha, ha, ha! I fhall burft, by Jupiter Ammon, I fhall burst! Darl. What's the matter, coufin ?

Clin. jun. The matter! ha, ha, ha! why, an honest porter, ha, ha, ha! has knock'd out my brother's brains, ha, ha, ha!

D

Wild.

Wild. A very good jeft, I'faith, ha, ha, ha!

Clin. jun. Ay, fir, but the jeft of all is, he knock'd out his brains with a hammer, and fo he is as dead as a door-nail, ha, ha, ha!

Darl. And do you laugh, wretch ?

Clin. jun. Laugh! ha, ha, ha! let me fee e'er a younger brother in England that won't laugh at fuch a jeft. Ang. You appeared a very fober pious gentleman fome hours ago.

Clin. jun. Pfhaw, I was a fool then: but now, madam, I'm a wit; I can rake now.-As for your part, madam, you might have had me once !-But now, madam, if you fhould fall to eating chalk, or gnawing the sheets, it is none of my fault,-Now, madam-I have got an eftate, and I must go to the Jubilee..

Enter Clincher fenior in a blanket.

Clin. fen. Muft you fo, rogue, muft ye! You will go to the Jubilee, will you?

Clin. jun. A ghoft, a ghoft!-Send for the dean and chapter prefently.

Clin. Jen. A ghoft! No, no, firrah, I'm an elder brother, rogue.

Clin. jun. I don't care a farthing for that; I'm sure you're dead in law.

Clin. fen. Why fo, firrah; why fo?

Clin. jun. Becaufe, fir, I can get a fellow to fwear he knock'd out your brains..

Wild. An odd way of fwearing a man out of his life? Clin. jun. Smell him, gentlemen, he has a deadlyscent about him...

Clin. fen. Truly the apprehenfions of death may have. made me favour a little-O Lord,-the colonel! the apprehenfions of him may make the favour worse, I'm afraid.

Clin. jun. In fhort, fir, were you a ghost, or brother or devil, I will go to the Jubilee, by Jupiter Ammon.

Stand. Go to the Jubilee, go the Bear-Garden,-the travel of fuch fools as you doubly injures our country; you expofe our native follies, which ridicule us among ftrangers, and return fraught only with their vices, which you vend here for fashionable gallantry; a travel