THE

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Enter Catelefs, croffing the stage, with his hat, gloves, and fword in his hands; as just rifen from table: Mellefont following him.

Mel. NED, Ned, whither fo faft? What, turn'd flincher! Why, you wo'not leave us? Care. Where are the women? I'm weary of drinking, and begin to think them the better company.

Mel. Then thy reafon staggers, and thou'rt almost tipfey.

Care. No, faith, but your fools grow noify-and if a man must endure the noise of words without fenfe, I think the women have more mnfical voices and become nonfenfe better.

Mel. Why, they are at the end of the gallery; retir'd to their tea, and fcandal; according to their ancient cuftom, after dinner.- -But I made a pretence to follow you, because I had fomething to fay to you in private, and I am not like to have many opportunities this evening.

Care. And here's this coxcomb moft critically come to interrupt you.

Enter Brisk.

Brifk. Boys, boys, lads, where are you? What do you give ground, mortgage for a bottle, ha? Careless, this is your trick; you're always spoiling company by leaving it. Care. And thou art always fpoiling company by coming into't.

Brisk. Pooh, ha, ha, ha! I know you envy me. Spite, proud fpite, by the gods! and burning envy-I'll be judg'd by Mellefont here, who gives and takes raillery better, you, or I. Pihaw, man, when I fay you fpoil company by leaving it, I mean you leave nobody for the company to laugh at. I think there I was with you, ha? Mellefont.

Mel. O my word, Brifk, that was a home thruft, you have filenc'd him.

Brifk. O my dear Mellefont, let me perish, if thou art not the foul of converfation, the very effence of wit and fpirit of wine. -The deuce take me if there were three good things faid, or one understood, fince thy amputation from the body of our fociety.He, I think that's pretty and metaphorical enough: I'gad I could not have faid it out of thy company, Careless, ha?

Care. Hum, ay, what is't?

Brifk. O, mon cœur! What is't! Nay gad I'll punifh for want of apprehenfion: the deuce take me if I tell you.

Mel. No, no, hang him, he has no tafte. dear Brisk, excufe me, I have a little business.

-But,

Care. Pr'ythee get thee gone; thou feeft we are serious. Mel. We'll come immediately, if you'll but go in, and keep up good humour and fenfe in the company: Pr'y thee do, they'll fall asleep elfe.

Brifk. I'gad fo they will-Well I will, I will, gad you

fhall command me from the Zenith to the Nadir.

-But the deuce take me if I fay a good thing 'till you come. But pr'ythee dear rogue, make hafte, pr'ythee make haste, I fhall burft elfe.- -And yonder your uncle, my Lord Touchwood, fwears he'll difinherit you, and Sir Paul Plyant threatens to disclaim you for a fon-in-law, and my Lord Froth won't dance at your wedding to morrow; nor the deuce take me, I won't write your epithalamium-and fee what a condition you're like to be brought to.

Mel. Well, I'll fpeak but three words, and follow you. Brifk. Enough, enough, Careless, bring your apprehenfion along with you. [Exit.

Care. Pert coxcomb.
Mel. Faith 'tis a good-natur'd coxcomb, and has very

enter

entertaining follies-You must be more humane to him ; at this juncture, it will do me fervice. I'll tell you, I would have mirth continued this day at any rate: tho' patience purchase folly, and attention be paid with noise : There are times when fenfe may be unfeasonable, as well as truth. Pr'ythee do thou wear none to day; but allow Brifk to have wit, that thou may'ft feem a fool. Care. Why, how now, why this extravagant propofition ?

Mel. O, I would have no room for ferious defign, for I am jealous of a plot. I would have noife and impertinence keep my Lady Touchwood's head from working: For hell is not more bufy than her brain, nor contains more devils, than that imaginations.'

Care. I thought your fear of her had been over- Is not to-morrow appointed for your marriage with Cynthia, and her father, Sir Paul Plyant, come to fettle the writings this day, on purpose?

Mel. True; but you fhall judge whether I have not reason to be alarm'd. None befides you, and Mafkwell, are acquainted with the fecret of my aunt Touchwood's violent paffion for me. Since my first refusal of her addreffes, fhe has endeavour'd to do me all ill offices with my uncle; yet has managed 'em with that fubtility, that to him they have born the face of kindness; while her malice, like a dark lanthorn, only fhone upon me, where it was directed. Still it gave me lefs perplexity to pre⚫ vent the success of her difpleasure, than to avoid the importunities of her love; and of two evils, I thought my felf favour'd in her averfion:' but whether urg'd by her defpair, and the fhort profpect of time fhe faw, to accomplish her defigns; whether the hopes of revenge, or of her love, terminated in the view of this my marriage with Cynthia, I know not; but this morning the furpriz'd me in my own chamber.

Care. Was there ever fuch a fury! 'tis well nature has not put it into her fex's power to ravish.?.

blefs us! proceed. What follow'd?

Well,

Mel. What at first amaz'd me; for I look'd to have seen ⚫ her in all the transports of a flighted and revengeful woman: but when I expected thunder from her voice, and

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lightning in her eyes; I faw her melted into tears, and hufh'd into a figh.' It was long before either of us spoke, paffion had ty'd her tongue, and amazement mine.In fhort, the confequence was thus, fhe omitted nothing that the most violent love could urge, or tender words. exprefs; which when the faw had no effect, but still I pleaded honour and nearness of blood to my uncle; then came the ftorm I fear'd at first: For ftarting from my bed-fide like a fury, fhe flew to my fword, and with much ado I prevented her doing me or herself a mischief: Having difarm'd her in a guft of paffion fhe left me, and in a refolution, confirm'd by a thousand curfes, not to clofe her eyes, 'till they had feen my ruin.

Care. Exquifite woman! But what the devil' does the think, thou haft no more fenfe, than to get an heir ' upon her body' to difinherit thyfelf: for as I take it, this fettlement upon you, is, with a provifo, that your uncle have no children.

Mel. It is fo. Well, the fervice you are to do me, will be a pleasure to yourself; I muft get you to engage my Lady Plyant all this evening, that my pious aunt may not work her to her intereft. And if you chance to fecure her to yourfelf, you may incline her to mine. She's handfome, and knows it; is very filly, and thinks she has fenfe, and has an old fond husband.

Care. I confefs a very fair foundation, for a lover to build upon.

Mel. For my Lord Froth, he and his wife will be fufficiently taken up, with admiring one another, and Brifk's galantry, as they call it. I'll obferve my uncle myself; and Jack Mafkwell has promised me, to watch my aunt narrowly, and give me notice upon any fufpicion. As for Sir Paul, my wife father-in-law that is to be, my dear Cynthia has fuch a share in his fatherly fondness, he would fcarce make her a moment uneasy, to have her happy hereafter.

Care. So, you have mann'd your works: but I wish you may not have the weakest guard, where the enemy is strongest.

Mel. Mafkrvell, you mean: pr'ythee why should you fufpect him?

Care.

Care. Faith I cannot help it, you know I never lik'd him; I am a little fuperftitious in phyfiognomy,

Mel. He has obligations of gratitude to bind him to me; his dependence upon my uncle is through my means. Care. Upon your aunt you mean.

Mel. My aunt!

Care. I'm miftaken if there be not a familiarity between them, you do not suspect: notwithstanding her paffion for you.

Mel. Pooh, pooh, nothing in the world but his defign to do me fervice; and he endeavours to be well in her esteem, that he may be able to effect it.

Care. Well, I fhall be glad to be mistaken; but your aunt's averfion in her revenge, cannot be any way fo effectually fhewn, as in promoting a means to difinherit you. She is handfome and cunning, and naturally amorous. Makwell is flesh and blood at beft and opportunities between them are frequent. His affection to you confeffed, is grounded upon his intereft, that you have tranfplanted; and fhould it take root in my lady, I don't fee what you can expect from the fruit.

have

Mel. I confefs the confequence is vifible, were your fufpicions juft.But fee, the company is broke up, let's meet 'em.

Enter Lord Touchwood, Lord Froth, Sir Paul Plyant, and Brisk.

Ld. Touch. Out upon't, nephew-Leave your fatherin-law, and me to maintain our ground against young people.

Mel. I beg your lordship's pardon-We were just returning.

Sir Paul. Were you, fon? gadsbud much better as it is-Good, frange! I fwear I'm almoft tipfy-t'other bottle would have been too powerful for me,-as fure as can be it would.-We wanted your company, but Mr. Brifk-Where is he? I fwear and vow, he's a moft facetious perfon-and the best company. And my Lord Froth, your lordship is fo merry a man, he, he, he! Ld. Froth. O foy, Sir Paul, what do you mean? Merry! . O barbarous! I'd as lief you call'd me fool. Sir Paul. Nay, I proteft and vow now, 'tis true; when Mr. Brisk

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