Sof. Ay, ay, that's only a fign they would be snapping at thy nofe.-' [Afide.] Bless me, what an arm and fift he has! with great thumbs too-and golls ⚫ and knuckle-bones of a very butcher.'

Merc. Sirrah, from whence come you, and whither go you? Anfwer me directly, upon pain of affaffination.

Sof. I am coming from whence I came, and am going whither I go; that's directly home-Tho' this is fomewhat an uncivil manner of proceeding, at the firft fight of a man, let me tell you.

Merc. Then to begin our better acquaintance, let me first make you a small present of this box o' th' [Strikes him.

ear

Sof. If I were as choleric a fool as you are now, here would be fine work betwixt us two! but I am a little better bred, than to disturb the fleeping neighbourhood; and fo good night, friend [Going. Merc. [Stopping him.] Hold, fir, you and I must not part fo eafily. Once more, whither are you going?

Sof. Why I am going as fast as I can, to get out of the reach of your clutches. Let me but only knock at that door there.

Merc. What business have you at that door, firrah ? Sof. This is our houfe; and when I'm got in, I'll tell you more.

Merc. Whofe house is this fauciness, that you are fo familiar with, to call it ours?

Sof. 'Tis mine, in the first place; and next my mafter's; for I lie in the garret, and he lies under

me.

Merc. Have your master and you no names, firrah? Sof. His name is Amphitryon-hear that and tremble!

Mere. What, my lord general?

Sof. O, has his name mollify'd you! I have brought you down a peg lower already, friend.

Merc. And your name is

Sof. Lord, friend, you are so very troublesome→ what should my name be but Sofia?

Merc. How, Sofia, fay you? How long have you taken up that name, firrali ?

Sof.

Sof. Here's a fine queftion! Why I never took it up friend; it was born with me.

Merc. What was your name born Sofia? Take this remembrance for that lye. [Beats him. Sof. Hold, friend, you are fo very flippant with your hands, you won't hear reason: What offence has my name done you, that you should beat me for it? S, O, S, I, A, they are as civil, honeft, harmless letters, as any are in the whole alphabet.

Merc. I have no quarrel to the name, but that 'tis e'en too good for you, and 'tis none of yours. Sof. What, am not I Sofia, say you ?

Merc. No.

Sof. I fhould think you are fomewhat merrily dif pofed, if you had not beaten me into fuch sober fad. nefs. You would perfuade me out of my heathen name, would you ?

Merc. Say you are Sofia again at your peril, firrah. Sof. I dare fay nothing, but thought is free-But whatever I am call'd, I am Amphitryon's man, and the first letter of my name is S too. You had best tell me that my master did not fend me home to my lady, with news of his victory?

Merc. I fay he did not. Sof. Lord, lord, friend, one of us two is horribly given to lying! but I do not fay which of us, to avoid contention.

Merc. I fay my name is Sofia, and yours is not. Sof. I would you could make good your words; for then I fhould not be beaten, and you should, durft-' but Merc. I find you would be Sofia, if you if I catch you thinking fo

Sof. I hope I may think I was Sofia: and I can find no difference between my former felf, and my prefent felf; but that I was plain Sofia before, and now I am lac'd Sofia.

Merc.' Take this, for being fo impudent as to [Beats him. think fo. Sof. [Kneeling.] Truce a little, I befeech thee! I would be a stock or a ftone now by my good will, and would not think at all, for self-prefervation. But will you give me leave to argue the matter fairly with you? And promise me to depofe that cudgel, if I

• сад

can prove myself to be that man that I was before I was beaten ?

Merc. Well, proceed in fafety; I promise you I will not beat you.

Sof. In the first place, then, is not this town call'd Thebes ?

Merc. Undoubtedly.

Sof. And is not this houfe Amphitryon's 'Merc. Who denies it?

Sof. I thought you would have deny'd that too, for all hang upon a string. Remember then, that thofe two preliminary articles are already granted. In the next place, did not the aforefaid Amphitryon beat the Teleboans, kill their king Pterelas, and fend a certain fervant, meaning fomebody, that for fake-fake shall be nameless, with news of his victory, and of his refolution to return to-morrow?

Merc. This is all true, to a very tittle; but who is that certain fervant? there's all the question. Sof. Is it peace or war betwixt us?

• Merc. Peace.

Sof. I dare not wholly truft that abominable cudgel but 'tis a certain friend of yours and mine, that ⚫ had a certain name, before he was beaten out of it.' But if you are a man that depend not altogether upon force and brutality, but fomewhat alfo upon reafon, now do you bring better proofs that you are that fame certain man; and in order to it, answer me to certain questions.

Merc. I fay I am Sofia, Amphitryon's man: what reafon have you to urge against it ?

Sol. What was your father's name?

Merc. Davus; who was an honeft husbandman, whofe fifter's name was Harpage, that was marry'd ⚫ and died in a foreign country.

Sof. So far you are right, I must confefs; and your wife's name is

'Merc. Bromia-a devilifh fhrew of her tongue, and a vixen of her hands, that leads me a miferable life.-Sof. By many a forrowful token. This must be I→→ Merc. I was once taken upon fufpicion of burglary, and was whipt thro' Thebes, and branded for my pains.

Sof. Right me again-But if you are I, as I begin to fufpect, that whipping and branding might have been paft over in filence, for both our credits :-and yet, now I think on't, if I am I, (as I am I) he cannot be I. All these circumstances he might have heard; but I will now interrogate him upon fome private paffages. [Afide.]-Imprimis, What was Amphitryon's fhare of the booty ?

Merc. A buckle of diamonds, confifting of five large ftones, which was worn as an ornament by Pterelas..

Sof. What does he intend to do with it?

Merc. To prefent it to his wife Alcmena.
Sof. And where is it now ?

Merc. In a cafe, feal'd with my master's coat of

arms.

Sof. This is prodigious, I confefs!--but yet 'tis nothing, now I think on't, for fome falfe brother may have reveal'd it to him. [Afide.]-But I have another queftion to afk you, of fomewhat that pafs'd only betwixt myself and me: if you are Sofia, what were you doing in the heat of battle ?

Merc. What a wife man fhould, that has a respect for his own perfon. I ran into our tent, and hid myfelf amongst the baggage.

Sof. [Afide.] Such another cutting anfwer, and I muft provide myfelf of another name. [To bim.] And how did you pass your time in that fame tent ?-You need not answer to every circumftance fo exactly now; you must lie a little, that I may think you the more

me.

Merc. That cunning fhall not ferve your turn, to circumvent me out of my name: I am for plain naked truth-There ftood a hogfhead of old wine, which my lord referv'd for his own drinking

Sof. O the devil! As fure as death, he must have hid himself in that hogshead, or he could never have known that.

Merc. And by that hogfhead, upon the ground,. there lay the kind inviter and provoker of good drinking

Sof. Nay, now I have caught you- there was neither inviter nor provoker, for I was all alone.

Merc.

Merc. A lufty gammon of

Sof. [Sighing.] Bacon!That word has quite made an end of me- Let me fee-this must be I, in fpite of me -but let me view him nearer.

[Walks about Mercury with his dark lanthorn. Merc. What are you walking about me for, with your dark lanthorn ♪

Sof. No harm, friend-I am only surveying a parcel of earth here, that I find we two are about to bargain for.[Afide.] He's damnable like me, that's certain. Imprimis, there's the patch upon my nose, with a pox to him-Item, a very foolish face, with a long chin at the end on't-Item, one pair of shambling legs, with two fplay feet belonging to them.And, Jumma totalis, from head to foot all my bodily apparel-[To Mercury.] Well, you are Sofia, there's no denying it; but what am I then? for my mind gives me, I am fomebody fill, if I knew but who I

were.

Merc. When I have a mind to be Sofia no more, then thou may't be Sofia again.

Sof. I have but one request more to thee-that, tho' not as Sofia, yet as a ftranger, I may go into that houfe, and carry a civil message to my lady.

Merc. No, firrah; not being Sofia, you have no meffage to deliver, nor lady in this houfe.

Sof. Thou canst not be fo barbarous, to let me lie in the streets all night, after fuch a journey, and such a beating and therefore I am refolv'd to knock at the door in my own defence.

Merc. If you come near the door, I recal my word, and break off the truce--and then expect

[Holds up his cudgel.

Sof. No, the devil take me if I do expect-I have felt too well what four fruit that crab-tree bears: I'll rather beat it back upon the hoof to my lord Amphitryon, to see if he will acknowledge me for Sofia: if he does not, then I am no longer his flave; there's my freedom dearly purchas'd with a fore drubbing: if he does acknowledge me, then I am Sofia again; fo far 'tis tolerably well: but then I fhall have a second drubbing for an unfortunate ambaffador as I am; and that's intolerable, [Exit Sofia. 7 Mercury