Then-only think—the libertines !

They wash their toes— they comb their chins,'

With many more such deadly sins!

And (what's the worst, though last I rank it)

Believe the Chapter of the Blanket!
Whilst thou, MOHASSAN (happy thou!),
Dost daily bend thy loyal brow

Yet, spite of tenets so flagitious,
Before our King-our Asia's treasure!

(Which must, at bottom, be seditious; Nutmeg of Comfort! Rose of Pleasure!-

As no man living would refuse And bear'st as many kicks and bruises

Green slippers, but from treasonous views; As the said Rose and Nutmeg chuscs.;

Nor wash his toes, but with intent Thy head still near the bowstring's borders,

To overturn the government!) And but left on till further orders!

Such is our mild and tolerant way, Through London streets, with turban fair,

We only curse them twice a-day And caftan floating to the air,

(According to a form that 's set), I saunter on-the admiration

And, far from torturing, only let Of this short-coated population

All orthodox believers beat 'em,
This sew'd-up race-this button'd nation-

And twitch their beards, where'er they meet 'em.
Who, while they boast their laws so free,
Leave not one limb at liberty,

As to the rest, they 're free to do
But live, with all their lordly speeches,

Whate'er their fancy prompts them to, The slaves of buttons and tight breeches.

Provided they make nothing of it

Tow'rds rank or honour, power or profit; Yet, though they thus their knee-pans fetter

Which things, we nat'rally expect, (They 're Christians, and they know no better)"

Belong to us, the Establish'd sect, In some things they're a thinking nation

Who disbelieve (the Lord be thank-ed !)
And, on Religious Toleration,

Th’ aforesaid Chapter of the Blanket.
I own I like their notions quite,
They are so Persian and so right!

The same mild views of Toleration
You know our SUNNITES,3 hateful dogs!

Inspire, I find, this button'd nation, Whom every pious Suute flogs

Whose Papists (full as given to rogue, Or longs to flogi— 't is true, they pray

And only Sunnites with a brogue) To God, but in an ill-bred way;

Fare just as well, with all their fuss, With neither arms, nor legs, nor faces

As rascal Sunnites do with us. Stuck in their right, canonic places !5 'T is true, they worship Ali's name—6

The tender Gazel I inclose Their heaven and ours are just the same

Is for my love, my Syrian Rose(A Persian's heaven is easily made,

Take it, when night begins to fall, 'Tis but--black eyes and lemonade).

And throw it o'er her mother's wall.
Yet—though we've tried for centuries back-
We can't persuade the stubborn pack,
By bastinadoes, screws, or nippers,

To wear th' establish'd pea-green slippers !7

Rememberest thou the hour we past? 'I have made many inquiries about this Persian gentleman, but That hour, the happiest and the last ! cannot satisfactorily ascertain wbo he is. From his notions of Reli- Oh! not so sweet the Siha thorn gious Liberty, bowever, I conclude that he is an importation of Ministers; and he has arrived just in time to assist the P-- and Mr

To summer bees at break of

morn, L-CK-in their new Oriental Plan of Reform.-See the second of Not half so sweet, through dale and dell, these Lotters.-- How Abdallah's epistlo to Ispahan found its way into To camel's ears the tinkling bell, the Twopenny Post-Bag is more than I can pretend to account for. As is the soothing memory

: . C'est un honnête homme, - said a Turkish governor of De Ruya of that one precious hour to me! ter; « c'est grand dommage qu'il soit Chrétien..

· Sunnites and Shiites are the two leading sects into which the Mahometan world is divided : and they have gone on cursing and How can we live, so far apart? persecuting each other, without any intermission, for about eleven Oh! why not rather heart to heart, hundred years. The Sunni is the established sect in Turkey, and the Shia in Persia ; and the differences between them turn chiefly upon

United live and die?those important points, which our pious friend Abdallah, in the true

Like those sweet birds that fly together, spirit of Shiite Ascendancy, reprobates in ibis Letter.

With feather always touching feather, * . Les Sunnitos, qui étaient comme les catholiques de Masulman. Link'd by a hook and cye! isme. -D'HERBELOT.

5. In contradistinction to the Sounis, who in their prayers cross For these points of difference, as well as for the Chapter of the their hands on the lower part of the breast, ibe Schiabs drop their Blanket, I must refer the reader (not having the book by me) to Piarms in straight lines; and as the Soupis, at certain periods of the cart's Account of the Mabometan Sects. prayer, press their foreheads on the ground or carpet, tho Schiabs, * This will appear strange to an English reader, but it is literally etc. etc.-FORSTER'S Voyage.

translated from Abdallah's Persian, and the curious bird to which 6 Les Turcs ne délestent pas Ali réciproquement; au contraire, he alludes is the Juftak, of which I find the following account in ils le reconnaissent, etc, etc.-CHARDIN.

Richardson.- A sort of bird that is said to have but one wing, on 'The Shiitos wear green slippers, which the Supoites consider the opposite side to which the male bas a book and the female a as a great abomination..--MARITI.

ring, so that, when they fly, they are fastened together.»



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------, ESQ.'

---, ESQ.
Per Post, Sir, we send your MS.—look'd it through— Come to our Fête,i and bring with thee
Very sorry—but can't undertake-'t would n't do. Thy newest, best embroidery!
Clever work, Sir!—would get up prodigiously well- Come to our Fête, and show again
Its only defect is—it never would sell !

That pea-green coat, th pink of men !
And though Statesmen may glory in being unbought, Which charm'd all eyes that last survey'd it,
In an Author, we think, Sir, that's rather a fault.

When B---L's self inquired « who made it?»

When Cits came wondering from the East,
Hard times, Sir,-most books are too dear to be read- And thought thec Poet Pye, at least!
Though the gold of Good-sense and Wit's small-change
are fled,

Oh! comé-(if haply 't is thy week
Yet the paper we publishers pass, in their stead,

For looking pale)— with paly cheek;
Rises higher each day, and ('t is frightful to think it)

Though more we love thy roseate days,
Not even such names as F-TZG-R-D's can sink it!

When the rich rouge-pot pours its blaze
However, Sir-if you 're for trying again,

Full o'er thy face, and, amply spread,
And at somewhat that's vendible-we are your men.

Tips even thy whisker-tops with red

Like the last tints of dying Day
Since the Chevalier C-RR took to marrying lately,

That o'er some darkling grove delay!
The Trade is in want of a Traveller greatly-

Bring thy best lace, thou gay Philander'
No job, Sir, more easy-your Country once plann'd,

(That lace, like H-RRY AL-X-ND-R,
A month aboard ship and a fortnight on land

Too precious to be wash'd)—thy rings,
Puts your Quarto of Travels clean out of hand.

Thy seals—in short, thy prettiest things!

Put all thy wardrobe's glories on,
An East India pamphlet's a thing that would tell-

And yield, in frogs and fringe, to none
And a lick at the Papists is sure to sell well.

But the great R-G-T's self alone !
Or-supposing you have nothing original in you—

Who, by particular desire-
Write Parodies, Sir, and such fame it will win you,

For that night only, means to hire
You 'll get to the blue-stocking Routs of Alb—N—A!?

A dress from Romeo C-tes, Esquire
(Mind—not to her dinners-a second hand Muse
Must n't think of aspiring to mess with Blues.)

Something between ('t were sin to hack it)

The Romeo robe and Hobby jacket?
Or-in case nothing else in this world you can do-

Hail, first of Actors!? best of R-G-TS!
The deuce is in't, Sir, if you cannot review!

Born for each other's fond allegiance!

Both gay Lotharios—both good dressers,
Should you feel any touch of poetical glow,

Of Serious Farce both learned Professors
We've a scheme to suggest - Mr Sc-t, you must know

Both circled round, for use or show,
(Who we're sorry to say it, now works for the Row), 3

With cocks -combs, wheresoc'er they go!
Having quitted the Borders to seck new renown,
Is coming, by long Quarto stages, to Town;

Thou know'st the time, thou man of lore!
And beginning with Rokeby (the job's sure to pay) It takes to chalk a ball-room floor-
Means to do all the Gentlemen's Seats on the way.

Thou know'st the time, too, well-a-day!
Now, the Scheme is (though none of our hackneys can

It takes to dance that chalk away. 3
beat him)

The Ball-room opens-far and nigh
To start a fresh Poet through Highgate to meet him;

Comets and suns beneath us lie;
Who, by means of quick proofs-no revises—long

O'er snowy moons and stars we walk,

And the floor seems a sky of chalk!
May do a few Villas before Sc—approaches-

But soon shall fade the bright deceit,
Indeed if our Pegasus be not curst shabby,

When many a maid, with busy feet
He'll reach, without found'ring, at least WOBURN-Abbey.

This Letter inclosed a Card for the Grand Fête on the 5th of
Such, Sir, is our plan-if you're up to the freak, February
'T is a match! and we'll put you in training, next • Quem tu, Melpomene, semel

Nascentem placido lumine, videris, etc.Horat.
At present, no more-in reply to this Letter, a

The Man, upon whom thou hast deiga'd to look funny,

Thou great Tragic Muse! at the hour of his birth- . Line will oblige very much

Let them say what they will, that's the man for my money,

Your's, et cetera. Give others thy tears, but let me bave thy mirth!
Temple of the Muses.

The assertion that follows, however, is not verified in the instance

before is. From motives of delicacy, and, indeed, of fellow.feeling, I sup

Illam press the name of the Author, whose rejected manuscript was in

non equus impiger closed in this letter.- See the Appendix.

Curru ducet Achaico. * This allades, I believe, to a curious correspondence which is said 3 To those who neither go to balls nor read the Morning Post, i to bave passed lately, between Als-N-A, Countess of B-ck-6- may be necessary to mention that the floors of Ball-rooms, in gene 1-N-2, and a certain ingenious Parodist.

ral, are chalked, for safety and for ornament, with various fanciful 3 Paternoster-Row.


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That sparkle in the Lustre's ray,

O'er the white path shall bound and play
Like Nymphs along the Milky Way!
At every step a star is fled,

Letter IV, Page 130.
And suns grow dim beneath their tread!
So passeth life-(thus Sc—rt would write,

Among the papers inclosed in Dr D-G-N-r's And spinsters read him with delight)

Letter, there is an Heroic Epistle in Latin verse, from Hours are not feet, yet hours trip on,

Pope Joan to her Lover, of which, as it is rather a curiTime is not chalk, yet time's soon gone!"

document, I shall venture to give some account.

This female Pontiff was a native of England (or, acBut, hang this long digressive flight!

cording to others, of Germany), who, at an early age, I meant to say, thou 'lt see, that night,

disguised herself in male attire, and followed her lover, What falsehood rankles in their hearts,

a young ecclesiastic, to Athens, where she studied with Who say the P-- neglects the arts

such effect, that upon her arrival at Rome she was Neglects the arts ! -no Sr--G! no;

thought worthy of being raised to the Pontificate. Thy Cupids answer « 't is not so ;»

This Epistle is addressed to her Lover (whom she had And every floor, that night, shall tell

elevated to the dignity of Cardinal), soon after the fatal How quick thou daubest, and how well!

accouchement, by which her Fallibility was betrayed. Shine as thou may'st in French vermilion,

She begins by reminding him very tenderly of the Thou 'rt best beneath a French cotillion;

time when they were in Athens_when And still comest off, whate'er thy faults, With flying colours in a Waluz!

« By Ilissus' stream Nor necd'st thou mourn the transicnt date

We whispering walk d along, and learn'd to speak To thy best works assign'd by Fate

The tenderest feelings in the purest Greek; While some chefs-d'æuvre live to weary one,

Ah! then how little did we think or hope, Thine boast a short life and a merry one;

Dearest of men! that I should e'er be Pope ! Their hour of glory past and gone

That I---the humble Joan-whose house-wife art With • Molly, put the ketde on!»

Seem'd just enough to keep thy house and heart

(And those, alas! at sixes and at sevens), But, bless my soul! I've scarce a leaf

Should soon keep all the keys of all the Heavens!» Of paper left-so, must be brief. This festive Féic, in fact, will be

Sull less (she continues to say) could they have foreThe former Fète's fac-simile;?

seen, that such a catastrophe as had happened in Coun

cil would befal them- that she The same long Masquerade of Rooms, Trick'd in such different, quaint costumes, (These, P-RT-R, are thy glorious works!)

« Should thus surprise the Conclave's grave decorum You'd swear Egyptians, Moors, and Turks,

And let a little Pope pop out before 'em

Pope Innocent! alas, the only one
Bearing Good-Taste some deadly malice,
Had clubb'd to raise a Pic-Nic Palace;

That name should ever have been fix'd upon!,
And cach, to make the oglio pleasant,
Had sent a State-Room as a present;-

She then very pathetically laments the downfal of

her greatness, and enumerates the various treasures to The same fauteuils and girandoles

which she is doom'd to bid farewell for ever. The same gold Asses, 3 pretty souls! That, in this rich and classic dome,

« But oh! more dear, more precious ten times overAppear so perfectly at home! The same bright river 'mongst the dishes,

Farewell, my Lord, my Cardinal, my Lover!

I made thee Cardinal--thou madest me--ah!
But not-ah! not the same dear fishes-
Late hours and claret kill'd the old ones!

Thou madest thc Papa of the World— Mamma!» So, 'stead of silver and of gold ones

I have not time now to translate any more of this (lt being rather hard to raise Fish of that specie now-a-days),

Epistle; but I presume the argument which the Right

Hon. Doctor and his friends mean to deduce from it, is Some sprats have been, by Y-RM—Ta's wish, Promoted into Silver Fish,

(in their usual convincing strain) that Romanists must And Gudgeons (so V-NS-TT-T told

be unworthy of Emancipation now, because they had

a Petticoat Pope in the Ninth Century-Nothing can The R-G-T) are as good as Gold!

be more logically clear, and I find that Horace had So, pr’ythee, come-our Fête will be

exactly the same views upon the subject : But half a Fête, if wanting thee! J. T.

Romanus (eheu posteri, negabitis!)
Hearts are not fint, yet lints are rent,
Hearts are not steel, yet steel is bent.

Emancipatus FOEMINÆ

Fert vallum! After all, however, Mr Se-It may well say to the Colonel (and, indeed, to much better wags than the Colonel). ραον μωμεισθαι Spanbeim attributes the unanimity with which Joan was elected, ή μιμεισθαι. .

to that innate and irresistible charm by which her sex, though la1.C--1---

ne will exhibit a complete fac-simile, in re- rent, operatod opon the instinct of the Cardinals—« Non vi aliqua, spect to interior ornament, to what it did at the last Féte. The same sed concorditer, omnium in se converso desiderio, quae sunt blandisplendid draperies," etc. - Morning Post.

entis serus artes, latentes in bac quanquam!» 3 The salt-cellars on the P-i's own table were in the form of : This is an anachronism, for it was not till the eleventh century an Ass with panniers.

that the Bishop of Rome took the title of Papa, or Loiversal Father. LETTER VII. Page 133.

. to maintain the becoming splendour of his office..'

The R-G-T produces the appalling fragments, upon The Manuscript which I found in the Booksellers which the Co-NC-LL-R breaks out into exclamations Letter, is a Melo-Drama, in two Acts, entitled « The of loyalty and tenderness, and relates the following porBook,» of which the l'heatres, of course, had had the tentous drcam :refusal, before it was presented to Messrs. L-ck-ngi-n and Co.—This rejected Drama, however, possesses

'T is scarcely two hours since considerable merit, and I shall take the liberty of laying I had a fearful dream of thee, my P--!a sketch of it before my Readers.

Methought I heard thee, midst a courtly crowd, The first Act opens in a very awful manner:Time, Say from thy throne of gold, in mandate loud, three o'clock in the morning-Scene, the Bourbon « Worship my whiskers !»—[weeps] not a knee was Chamber? in C-rl-n House — Enter the P--E there R-G-solus.—After a few broken sentences, he thus But bent and worshipp'd the Illustrious Pair exclaims :

That curld in conscious majesty! (pulls out his handAway-away

kerchief]-while cries Thou haunt'st my fancy so, thou devilish Book! Of • Whiskers! whiskers!, shook the echoing skies ! I meet thee-trace thee, wheresoe'er I look.

Just in that glorious hour, methought, there came, I see thy damned ink in Eld-n's brows

With looks of injured pride, a Princely Dame,
I see thy foolscap on my 1-RF-D's Spouse- And a young maiden clinging to her side,
V-NS-TT's head recals thy leathern case,

As if she feared some tyrant would divide
And all thy blank-leaves stare from R-D-r's face! The hearts that nature and affection tied!
While, turning here (laying his hand on his heart], I The Matron came-within her right hand glow'd
find, ah wretched elf!

A radiant torch; while from her left a load
Thy List of dire Errata in myself.

Of papers hung-[wipes his eyes]-collected in her veil[Walks the stage in considerable agitation.]

The venal evidence, the slanderous tale, Oh Roman Punch! oh potent Curaçoa!

The wounding hint, the current lies that pass Oh Mareschino! Mareschino, oh!

From Post to Courier, form'd the motley mass; Delicious drams' why have you not the art

Which, with disdain, before the Throne she throws, To kill this gnawing Book-worm in my heart?

And lights the Pile beneath thy Princely nose.

[Weeps.] He is here interrupted in his Soliloquy by perceiving Heavens, how it blazed !—I'd ask no livelier fire some scribbled fragments of paper on the ground, [with animation)To roast a Papist by, my gracious Sire!which he collects, and « by the light of two magnificent But ah! the Evidence-[weeps again]l mourn'd to seecandelabras, discovers the following unconnected words Cast, as it burn'd, a deadly light on thee! « Wife neglected»-« the Book»—« Wrong Measures» | And Tales and Hints their random sparkles flung, the Queen»-« Mr Lambert»—« the R-G-T.»

And hiss'd and crackled like an old maid's tongue;

While Post and Courier, faithful to their fame, Ha! treason in my House! —Curst words, that wither Made up in stink for what they lack'd in flame! My princely soul (shaking the papers violently), what when, lo, ye Gods!-the fire, ascending brisker, Demon brought you hither?

Now singes one, now lights the other whisker. My wife!:-. the Book,too!-stay-a nearer look- Ah! where was then the Sylphid, that unfurls [Holding the fragments closer to the Candelabras)

Her fairy standard in defence of curls? Alas! too plain, B, double 0, K, Book

Throne, Whiskers, Wig, soon vanish'd into smoke, Death and destruction!

The watchman cried . past One,» and—I awoke.

He here rings all the bells, and a whole legion of

Here his Lordship weeps more profusely than ever, Valets enter-A scene of cursing and swearing (very and the R-G-T (who has been very much agitated much in the German style) ensues, in the course of during the recital of the dream), by a movement as which messengers are dispatched, in different direc- characteristic as that of Charles XII when he was shot, tions, for the L—Bp Ca-nc-LL-R, the D-B of claps his hands to his whiskers to feel if all be really C-B-1-D, etc. etc.—The intermediate time is filled safe. A Privy Council is held-all the Servants, etc. are up by another soliloquy, at the conclusion of which examined, and it appears that a Tailor, who had come the aforesaid Personages rush on alarmed-the D-R

to measure the R-G-T for a Dress (which takes three with his stays only half-laced, and the CH-NC-LLOR whole pages of the best superfine clinquant in describwith his wig thrown hastily over an old red night-cap, ing), was the only person who had been in the Bourbon

Chamber during the day. It is, accordingly, determined 'There was a mysterious Book, in the 16th century, which employed all the anxious curiosity of the learned of that day-Every unanimous resolution to be vigorous.

to seize the Tailor, and the Council breaks up with a one spoke of it: many wrote against it, though it does not appear that any body had ever seen it; and indeed Grotius is of opinion that The commencement of the Second Act turns chiefly no such book ever existed. It was entitled e Liber de tribus Impos- upon the Trial and Imprisonment of two Brothers--but toribus.. (See Morhof. Cap. do Libris damnatis.)--Our more mo

as this forms the under plot of the Drama, Ishall content dern mystery of the Book, resembles this in many particulars ; and, if the number of Lawyers employed in drawing it up be stated myself with extracting from it the following speech, correctly, a slight alteration of the title into a tribus impostoribus would produce a coincidence altogether very remarkable.

• The Chamber, I suppose, which was prepared for the reception 1. To enable the individual, who holds the office of Chancellor, of the Bourbons at the best Grand Fête, and which was ornamented 10 maintain ft in becoming splendour.» (A loud laugh.) (alle for the deliverance of Europe ) with fleurs de lys.

Lord Castlerongh's Speech upon the Vice-Chancellor': Bil. go loose

which is addressed to the two brothers, as they « exeunt Look through all Europe's Kings—at least, those who severally» to Prison:

Not a King of them all's such a friend to the Goose. Go to your prisons--though the air of Spring

So, God keep him increasing in size and renown, No mountain coolness to your cheeks shall bring ;

Still the fattest and best-fitted P- E about town!
Though summer flowers shall pass unseen away,

Derry down, etc.
And all your portion of the glorious day
May be some solitary beam that falls,
At morn or eve, upon your dreary walls-

During the « Derry down of this last verse, a mesSome beam that enters, trembling as if awed,

senger from the S-c-1-y of S--e's Office rushes To tell how gay the young world laughs abroad!

on, and the singer (who, luckily for the effect of the Yet go-for thoughts, as blessed as the air

scene, is the very Tailor suspected of the mysterious Of spring or summer flowers, await you there;

fragments) is interrupted in the midst of his laudatory Thoughts, such as He, who feasts his courtly crew exertions, and hurried away, to the no small surprise In rich conservatories, never knew !

and consternation of his comrades. The Plot now hasPure self-esteem--the smiles that light within

tens rapidly in its development--the management of The Zeal, whose circling charities begin

the Tailor's examination is highly skilful, and the alarm With the few loved-ones Heaven has placed it near, which he is made to betray is natural without being Nor cease, till all mankind are in its sphere!-- ludicrous. The explanation, too, which he finally gives, The Pride, that suffers without vaunt or plea,

is not more simple than satisfactory. It appears that And the fresh Spirit, that can warble frec,

the said fragments formed part of a self-exculpatory Through prion-bars, its hymn to Liberty!

note, which he had intended to send to Colonel The scene next changes to a Tailor's Work-shop, and

MM--N upon subjects purely professional, and the a fancifully-arranged group of these Artists is discovered corresponding bits (which still lie luckily in his pocket) upon the Shop-board – Their task evidently of a royal being produced, and skilfully laid beside the others, the nature, from the profusion of gold-lace, frogs, etc. that following billet-doux is the satisfactory result of their lie about— They all rise and come forward, while one

juxta-position : of them sings the following Stanzas, to the tune of • Derry Down..

Honour'd Colonel-my Wife, who's the Queen of all My brave brother Tailors, come, straighten your knees,

slatterns, For a moment, like gentlemen, stand up

at ease,

Neglected to put up the Book of new Patterns. While I sing of our P--B (and a fig for his railers),

She sent the wrong MEASURES too-shamefully wrongThe Shop-board's delight! the Mrcenas of Tailors !

They're the same used for poor Mr Lambert,when young; Derry down, down, down derry down. But, bless you! they would n't go half round the R-G-1, Some monarchs take roundabout ways into note,

So, hope you'll excuse yours till death, most obedient. But His short cut to fame is—the cut of his coat; Philip's Son thought the world was too small for his This fully explains the whole mystery-the R-G-1 Soul,

resumes his wonted smiles, and the drama terminates, While our R-G-t’s finds room in a laced button-hole! as usual, to the satisfaction of all parties.

Derry down, etc.

The Fudge Family in Paris.

Le Leggi della Maschera richiedono che una persona mascherata non sia salutata per uome da uno che la conosce malgrado il suo travestimento.



which Lord S-DM-T8, in his wisdom and benevolence, has organized.

Whether Mr Fudge, himself, has yet made any disIn what manner the following epistles came into my coveries, does not appear from the following pages;hands, it is not necessary for the public to know. It but much may be expected from a person of his zeal and will be seen by Mr Fudge's Second Letter, that he is one sagacity, and, indeed, to him, Lord S-DM-Ty, and of those gentlemen whose Secret Services in Ireland, the Greenland-bound ships, the eyes of all lovers of under the mild ministry of my Lord (---ou, have discoveries are now most anxiously directed. been so amply and gratefully remunerated. Like his I regret that I have been obliged to omit Mr Bob friend and associate, Tuomas Reynolds, Esq., he had Fudge's Third Letter, concluding the adventures of his retired upon the reward of his honest industry; but has Day, with the Dinner, Opera, etc. etc.—but, in conselately been induced to appear again in active life, and quence of some remarks upon Marinette's thin drapery, superintend the training of that Delatorian Cohort, which, it was thought, might give offence to certain

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