may I be washed in thy blood; then shall I be able with thy assistance, to resist the fiery darts of the wicked one."

These extracts are characteristic. His Christian course, for the most part, exhibits the same dread of self-deception and hypocrisy, the same consciousness of dreadful guilt in the sight of God, the same abhorrence of sin, and the same dependence on the precious' blood of sprinkling.' He ever felt that he could not be too strict with his own heart. Scarcely could he perceive any thing in his daily experience that a pure God could approve. Thus the very next day he writes,-" No affections for God."

As the hour of his public consecration to God approached he appears to have been more and more oppressed with a sense of his unworthiness. On the Friday previous he exclaims,-" What am I to-day? My soul! stop, and take an impartial view. How did I spend the past day? How am I spending this? Why is it that I am thus spared? Why do I thus drag out my miserable life, estranged from God? What is like to be the end of such a life? O most holy God! I beseech thee to wash away my sin for the Redeemer's sake. Remember me according to thine infinite mercy. Show me every day more of my sinful heart, more of the fading nature of earthly enjoyments. Oh! make me a vessel to serve thee; while I live in this world, may I devote myself to thy cause."

He had evidently been very desirous to see, as he expresses it, "more of his sinful heart." To this he had for many days been directing his constant search; and now he is overwhelmed with the sight; he can scarcely look up; he is a miserable sinner; he won

ders that God can spare such a wretch; he abhors himself. It is often thus that the Christian becomes a terror to himself, when his eyes are fixed more on the corruptions of his own heart, than on the sorrows of his bleeding Lord.

The morrow finds him still at the work of selfinspection. In the morning he writes,-" Felt much depressed with a sense of my hardness of heart; resolved to devote a particular portion of the afternoon to secret duties and meditation. Oh that God would be with me and direct me! How sweet it is to worship God aright! Oh that my heart were formed for his service! then I could say that one hour spent in his service is better than ages spent elsewhere. But, alas, the carnal mind! O blessed Jesus! purify my heart for thy service. If thou wilt, thou canst make me clean.' May this afternoon be the best that I have ever enjoyed."

In the afternoon he is in much the same state of mind. 66 Felt," he says, "more calm, and at the same time awed at the thoughts of the solemn scene just before me. My heart desires to be for God, or I am deceived. Which of these two cases, O my soul, will apply to thee? What is thy condition? Alas! the solemn question has been so often put that it has lost its effect." From this it appears that his character had undergone for some time past the severest scrutiny. So constantly had he inquired into the state of his heart, that he scarcely waited for the honest reply, or tarried for the verdict of conscience. Himself he could not too much condemn; but he might have honored the Savior more by a more frequent visit to his cross.

Almost at a loss what to say of himself, he casts his

"One

soul upon the arms of a covenant-keeping God. remedy," he exclaims, is yet left: The Lord's arm is not shortened, that it cannot save, neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear.' O thou Father of mercies! the solemn transaction is just before me, and my heart shrinks with fear; enable me, I beseech thee, to offer up myself to thee without reserve. On thee I am dependent; except thou be with me, how shall I come into thy presence? Except thou guide my feet, they will plunge into 'the miry clay.' Oh! give me a heart to pray to thee. Defend me from temptations; be thou my ALL. May this approaching Sabbath be a cause of my rejoicing in thy kingdom.

In closing, he pleads the merit of his Savior, and ascribes all the power and glory to the God of his salvation.

The eventful day of his consecration to the Lord' Jesus dawns, and finds him true to his purpose, and girding himself for his Master's work.

"May 1st, Sunday morning. My mind feels calm, and serene, but I have not that devotion that I could wish for. This day I am preparing to come forward to the table of the Lord. The holy angels and God himself will be witnesses of the scene. Can this be true, and I still lack affection? O ungrateful soul! Canst thou come forward to the table of the Lord, to celebrate the dying love of Jesus, with so little emotion? Methinks my soul should burn with the thought. For me his sacred body was stretched upon the cross; for me he bowed his sacred head, and gave up the ghost:for me, a poor guilty sinner! Oh that the Lord would manifest himself to me this day, as he does not unto the world!"

In all this self-scrutiny it cannot escape notice that the subject of this memoir had fallen into an error that has been too often observable in the experience of American Christians. While the young expectant of heavenly glory cannot too thoroughly renounce himself, nor be too jealous over his own heart, he may be so engrossed with the work of "sounding the depths within, and comparing it with the law of God," as to lose every ray of hope, and sink into a state bordering upon despair. "There is joy," says one," in what? looking at the state of the heart? No; but in believing; in looking to Jesus, and in trusting in him. While the soul turns in upon itself, it may, and it often does examine, and watch, and excite itself to a constant wakefulness, until it shrinks, like the sensitive plant, from duty and from hope. Or, perhaps, stung with a sense of spiritual danger, it rolls itself in agony, and calls up the most harrowing and terrifying conceptions of its eternal state. Oh! when will Christians remember that their life comes not from themselves, but from Christ; and then look, not to their own guiltiness for consolation, but to him who is the chiefest among ten thousand ?—There is peace, and joy, and hope in believing. But it comes from believing, and not from doubt and uncertainty."

In this respect Mr. B., in common with the converts of his day, and in accordance with the instructions of the ministry of that and a previous generation, erred on the side of self-scrutiny. Many among us commit the more fatal error of trusting their own hearts too much. This is something very different from the “Life, Walk, and Triumph of Faith," which it is the great work of the gospel to commend to a dying world;-a Faith

that looks only to the cross of Jesus for hope, and peace, and joy ;-a Faith that says:

Spiritual Experience.-Pious Resolutions.-Deep Waters.Faint, yet pursuing.-Pecuniary Embarrassments.-Leaves College for a season.- -Assists Rev. Dr. Backus as teacher.Growth in grace.

We are now to contemplate the young student, as a member of the Church of Christ. This solemn espousal to the Lord took place, as we have seen, on the first day of May, 1808. In the afternoon, he makes a record of the state of mind in which he commenced the Christian profession:

"The solemn scene is past. I have publicly delivered myself up to God. *** My thoughts, this forenoon, during the solemn act of dedicating myself to God, have been attended with awe. To be in the presence of an All-seeing God has appeared to me peculiarly solemn as well as desirable. I have resolved to live to the Lord from this time forever. O Lord! what am I or my father's house, that thou shouldst allow me this privilege of coming to thy table to celebrate Christ's death? Oh! I beseech thee, that I may live according to the profession which thou hast enabled