young Lover living fo exact in the Care of his Perfon. One who asked why he was fo long wafhing his Mouth, and fo delicate in the Choice and Wearing of his Linen, was answered, Because there was a Woman of Merit obliged to receive me kindly, and I think it incumbent upon me to make her Inclination go along with her Duty. If a Man would give himself leave to think, he would not be fo unreasonable as to expect Debauchery and Innocence could live in Commerce together; or hope that Flesh and Blood is capable of fo ftrict an Allegiance, as that a fine Woman muft go on to improve herself 'till fhe is as good and impaffive as an Angel, only to preferve a Fidelity to a Brute and a Satyr. The Lady who defires me for her Sake to end one of my Papers with the following Letter, I am perfuaded, thinks fuch a Perfe verance very impracticable. T Husband, TAY more at home. I know where you vifited at Seven of the Clock on Thursday Evening. The Colonel, whom you charged me to fee no more, is in Town. Martha Housewife. N° 179. Tuesday, September 25. I Centuriae feniorum agitant expertia frugis: Hor. MAY caft my Readers under two general Divifions, the Mercurial and the Saturnine. The firft are the gay Part of my Difciples, who require Speculations of Wit and Humour; the others are thofe of a more folemn and fober Turn, who find no Pleasure but in Pa pers pers of Morality and found Senfe. The former call every thing that is Serious, Stupid; the latter look upon every thing as Impertinent that is Ludicrous. Were I always Grave, one half of my Readers would fall off from me: Were I always Merry, I fhould lofe the other. I make it therefore my Endeavour to find out Entertainments of both Kinds, and by that means perhaps confult the Good of both, more than I should do, did I always write to the particular Tafte of either. As they neither of them know what I proceed upon, the sprightly Reader, who takes up my Paper in order to be diverted, very ES often finds himself engaged unawares in a serious and profitable Course of Thinking; as on the contrary, the thoughtful Man, who perhaps may hope to find fomething Solid, and full of deep Reflexion, is very often infenfibly betrayed into a fit of Mirth. In a word, the Reader fits down to my Entertainment without knowing his Bill of Fare, and has therefore at least the Pleafure of hoping there may be a Dish to his Palate. I muft confefs, were I left to my felf, I fhould rather aim at Inftructing than Diverting; but if we will be ufeful to the World, we must take it as we find it. Authors of profeffed Severity difcourage the loofer Part of Mankind from having any thing to do with their Writings. A Man must have Virtue in him, before he will enter upon the Reading of a Seneca or an Epictetus. The very Title of a Moral Treatife has fomething in it auftere and fhocking to the Careless and Inconfiderate. FOR this Reason feveral unthinking Perfons fall in my way, who would give no Attention to Lectures delivered with a Religious Serioufnefs or a Philofophick Gravity. They are infnared into Sentiments of Wisdom and Virtue when they do not think of it; and if by that means they arrive only at fuch a Degree of Confideration as may difpofe them to liften to more ftudied and elaborate Difcourfes, I fhall not think my Speculations uselefs. I might likewife obferve, that the Gloominefs in which fometimes the Minds of the beft Men are involved, very often stands in need of fuch little Incitements to Mirth and Laughter, as are apt to difperfe Melancholy, and put our Faculties in good Humour. To which fome will add, that the British Climate, more than than any other, makes Entertainments of this Nature in a manner necessary. IF what I have here faid does not recommend, it will at least excufe the Variety of my Speculations. I would not willingly Laugh but in order to inftruct, or if I fometimes fail in this Point, when my Mirth ceases to be Inftructive, it shall never cease to be Innocent. A scrupulous Conduct in' this Particular, has, perhaps, more Merit in it than the Generality of Readers imagine; did they know how many Thoughts occur in a Point of Humour, which a difcreet Author in Modefty fuppreffes; how many Strokes of Rallery prefent themselves, which could not fail to please the ordinary, Taste of Mankind, but are ftifled in their Birth by reafon of fome remote Tendency which they carry in them to corrupt the Minds of those who read them; did they know how many Glances of Ill-nature are industriously avoided for fear of doing Injury to the Reputation of another, they would be apt to think kindly of thofe Writers who endeavour to make themselves Diverting without being Immoral. One may apply to these Authors that Paffage in Waller, Poets lofe half the Praife they would have got, As nothing is more eafy than to be a Wit, with all the above mentioned Liberties, it requires fome Genius and Invention to appear fuch without them. WHAT I have here faid is not only in regard to the Publick, but with an Eye to my particular Correfpondent who has fent me the following Letter, which I have caftrated in fome Places upon thefe Confiderations. SIR, HAVING lately feen your Difcourfe upona Match of Grinning, I cannot forbear giving you an Ac⚫ count of a Whiftling Match, which, with many others, I was entertained with about three Years fince at the Bath. The Prize was a Guinea, to be conferred upon the ableft Whiftler, that is on him who could whistle cleareft, and go through his Tune without Laughing, to ་ to which at the fame time he was provoked by the antick Poftures of a Merry Andrew, who was to ftand apon the Stage and play his Tricks in the Eye of the Performer. There were three Competitors for the Ring. The first was a Plough-man of a very promifing Afpect; his Features were fteady, and his Muscles compofed in fo inflexible a Stupidity, that upon his first Appearance every one gave the Guinea for loft. The Pickled Herring however found the Way to shake him, T for upon his Whistling a Country Jig, this unlucky Wag danced to it with fuch Variety of Distortions and Grimaces that the Country-man could not forbear fmiling upon him, and by that means spoiled his Whi⚫ftle and loft the Prize. 'THE next that mounted the Stage was an UnderCitizen of the Bath, a Perfon remarkable among the inferior People of that Place for his great Wisdom and his Broad Band. He contracted his Mouth with much 'Gravity, and, that he might difpofe his Mind to be more ferious than ordinary, begun the the Tune of the • Children in the Wood, and went through part of it with good Succefs; when on a fudden the Wit at his Elbow, 'who had appeared wonderfully grave and attentive for fome time, gave him a Touch upon the left Shoulder, ' and ftared him in the Face with fo bewitching a Grin, ' that the Whistler relaxed his Fibres into a Kind of Simper, and at length burst out into an open Laugh. The 'third who entered the Lifts was a Footman, who in 'Defiance of the Merry Andrew, and all his Arts, whift'led a Scotch Tune and an Italian Sonata, with so settled a Countenance, that he bore away the Prize, to the great 'Admiration of fome Hundreds of Persons, who, as well " as my felf, were prefent at this Trial of Skill. Now, Sir, I humbly conceive, whatever you have determined of the Grinners, the Whiftlers ought to be encouraged, ⚫ not only as their Art is practifed without Diftortion, but as it improves Country Mufick, promotes Gravity, and 'teaches ordinary People to keep their Countenances, if they fee any thing ridiculous in their Betters; befides that, it seems an Entertainment very particularly adap❝ted to the Bath, as it is ufual for a Rider to whistle to his Horse when he would make his Waters pafs. I am, Sir, &c. POSTSCRIPT AFTER having dispatched these two important * Points of Grinning and Whistling, I hope you will oblige the World with fome Reflexions upon Yawning, as I have feen it practifed on a 'Twelfth Night among • other Christmas Gambols at the House of a very worthy Gentleman, who always entertains his Tenants at that Time of the Year. They Yawn for a Cheshire • Cheese, and begin about Midnight, when the whole Company is difpofed to be droufy. He that Yawns wideft, and at the fame Time fo naturally as to produce the moft Yawns among his Spectators, carries home the Cheese. If you handle this Subject as you ought, I queftion not but your Paper will fet half the Kingdom a Yawning, tho' I dare promise you it will never make any Body fall asleep. L 黑絲 N° 180. Wednesday, September 26. T Delirant Reges, plectuntur Achivi. Hor. HE following Letter has fo much Weight and good Senfe, that I cannot forbear inferting it, tho' it relates to an hardened Sinner, whom I have very little Hopes of reforming, viz. Lewis XIV. of France. Mr. SPECTATOR, MIDST the Variety of Subjects of which you have treated, I could wish it had fallen in your way, to expose the Vanity of Conquefts. This Thought "would naturally lead one to the French King, who has been generally esteemed the greatest Conqueror of our Age, 'till her Majefty's Armies had torn from him fo many of his Countries, and deprived him of the • Fruit of all his former Victories. For my own part, * if I were to draw his Picture, I fhould be for taking • him |