bold attempt, they seemed wholly to misrepresent and misapply the gracious intentions of his majesty, as if, after he had loudly proclaimed, in his speech from the throne, that the people of Ireland should have a bank if they pleased, he did at the same time whisper to the managers that they should have a bank whether we pleased or no. I took leave of his lordship, and in a few days found a great deal of what he told me to be true. For a list of the subscribers being published by order of the governors and directors, there came out soon after a printed paper, with notes and queries, wherein the subscribers were ranked in their proper classes, which placed them in so ridiculous a light, that they all began to be ashamed of one another. I took pains to examine that paper very carefully by the original list, and found it in every article to be a notorious truth, but not the whole truth, for the author hath omitted, One French corn-cutter, * One French drawer, One agent's-clerk, Besides several South-Seaers and Mississippians. When I saw this list, and observed the situation of the subscribing ladies betwixt the soldiers and traders, I was highly delighted that you were not one of the number. I was intimately acquainted with one of them, and, going to pay her a visit, was, with some difficulty, admitted. She told me she had kept her chamber some days since the publishing of that scandalous list; that she had been rallied to death by all her acquaintance; that she had endeavoured to get her money back, or at least her bond and judgment, but could prevail for neither; that she resolved to petition the lord chancellor for relief, and confessed freely to me, that a proposal was made her of a very advantageous match, which was brought almost to a conclusion, but broke off when the gentleman came to know that her fortune was in See the preceding Tract, the bank, alleging, that he could not depend upon it, because that her bond and judgment was lodged in the bank, and that any part, or the whole thereof, was liable to the demands of the directors. I am, Madam, &c. APPENDIX, No. VI. ADDITIONAL TRACTS BY DEAN SWIFT, RESPECTING WOOD'S PROJECT, AND IRISH AFFAIRS OF THE SAME PERIOD. NOW FIRST PUBLISHED WITH HIS WORKS. [For the two first of these curious tracts the editor is obliged to Mr Barrett, by whose unceasing diligence of research they were re. covered from rare pamphlets. The others are reprinted from broadside copies. The stile and matter appear fully to vindicate our ascribing them to Swift.] Woods Revived, or a short Defence of his Proceedings in London, Bristol, &c. in reference to the Kingdom of Ireland. Printed in the year 1725. A SHORT DEFENCE OF WOOD'S CONDUCT. GENTLEMEN,—The chief reason why, in this late controver sy between my brass and your silver, I was so long silent, is this: When my patent was on foot, and all my barrels ready charged, waiting only for the word of command, if I should have offered any thing in my own defence for such an unusual attack, you would justly have thought it a political stratagem, since my private interest was so principally concerned; but that fear (to my sorrow) being now blown over, my patent being on its last legs, as plain Will Wood, brazier, I offer this to your consideration. About five years ago my thoughts were as humble as any one of my vocation, till my wife, thinking my name something ominous, out of natural affection to her dear husband, would needs persuade me to get above the reach of her suspicion, often telling me, she knew not what might happen, but what could she or young Sapharia, my child, do, in case I should die a violent death. This, Sirs, you must confess, was a very moving argument; so that, by her continual persuasions, the frequent admonitions of three or four Irish runagate rogues, who were copartners, and my own natural aversion to standing timber and its appurtenances, I at last consented to put in a claim for my patent, thinking by that means to free myself from such an unfortunate destiny, (which more than once threatened me and my companions). Now, I think these reasons were very sufficient, and I am as certain that even the disinterested Drapier himself would have accepted of a lordship, and been content to be honest on less terms than those that compelled me to be a coiner, and made me a rogue. I had no sooner got this patent, but my head run upon politics. My Irish confidants represented your kingdom as a poor, pliable, soft people, in love with imposition; they said, when they were in the kingdom they were the only knaves were in it, they had all the stings to themselves; and that when they came away they left only poor simple honest men behind them.* Upon hearing of this, gentlemen, I took into my serious consideration the softness of your tempers, and the shallowness of your judgments, and after a short debate between my authority and your stupidity, I concluded that the coin prescribed in my patent was too good for you. I thought if I gave you the worth of your money, or any thing beyond the worst trash a brazier could prepare, I should in my conscience be guilty of a great extravagance, since my honesty would be lost upon you; for I was assured there was not one among you knew the difference, or could tell when you were well used. I could not believe your mechanics were men of speculation, or that your Drapiers pretended to law and letters, and so I coined on, and, to say the truth, mended by experience; for the last parcel I coined were of just the same value I thought your worships deserved, not worth a peck of potatoes. By this you may see how great was my opinion of you. But, though your Drapier be a very shrewd counsellor for others, I think he is not very wise for himself; for See the Drapier's animadversions on the character of the witnesses from Ireland, examined on behalf of Wood. what could he expect by turning a public enemy to what I intended a private design, but to be made a saint, I hope, or a privy counsellor? No, for I am humbly of opinion he has not gold enough for either. Then what wonderful prospects, consistent with his great wisdom, could incite so unprofitable a passion? Why certainly, either like the Dog in the Manger, because he expected no advantage, he would suffer nobody to get any; or else because I coined nothing but brass, he thought I could command neither silver nor gold; but if he had been so wise and good-natured as to have directed the copy of his first letter to the people of Ireland, to Will Wood, founder in Bristol, &c. he should never have had occasion for a second, if gold could have salved up the matter. But what has he got by it? Praise! The glorious, immortal, and ever famous Drapier has, by dint of pen and ink, most manfully and courageously conquered and put to flight a poor insignificant wretch of a brazier, who, like the frog in the fable, would fain have been an ox, had not this noble protector so valiantly proved him a worm. And for this windy honour, he has refused what would give him real honour:-refused money for honour! I don't believe there were ten of his worship's principles among the train of his fraternity. But if every one had been of his opinion, I should have staid at my furnace still. Gold was pretty prevalent, which the Drapier and some others of those honourable principles had like to have found to their cost. I must confess I was very unfortunate in my distribution, for I have ruined myself and benefited nothing; my patent and I both, I am afraid, are now going, one to courts, and t'other to gaol. I wish your politician gentleman could now show a little more of his skill, in persuading the gaoler, since if I go, 'tis certainly he sends me. I am now, gentlemen, in a very poor, melancholy condition. I think with a great deal of grief on my wife's supicious words; I even doubt myself; nay, imagination has carried me so far (since that fatal news of my patent's being laid before the council), that I have often believed myself at the gallows, with the knot under my ear, ready to be turned off. I look upon my last actions, and this wicked patent, as the fulfilling of my wife's ominous prophecy, for what can I otherwise expect, if my late behaviour (as I am told it will) should be known, the very thoughts of it brings Tyburn full in my view. Heaven make my wife a liar, and me a false prophet! but how can a man forget it when he knows he deserves it? This wicked Drapier has made the people of England themselves consider my honesty; could I purchase a little now, how happy should I be! It is a strange thing a man can't be a cheat but he must give offence to every one. When I was an honest man, my next neighbour hardly knew it; nobody then took care to proclaim it; but now I am a rogue, the whole world must witness it. My friends, I mean my Irish vagabonds, now say I was a fool to believe them, for they told me at first they were knaves, and so I should find them, and really that I might have observed, if they had not mentioned a word of it. I would say something in my vindication, but my conscience this in my face, and points out my destiny. However, gentlemen, I leave this to your consideration, would not any man, the Drapier and such kind excepted, that was fed up with the same hopes, do as I have done? Would not any man cheat his brother, if he could, to gain so considerably? I expected, by this time, it would have been at least Honourable Sir William Wood, Baronet, and that my Lady wife would have been no longer kitchenmaid. These you must confess, gentleinen, were arguments very prevailing. I did not strive to cheat Ireland for nothing; I had many thousand valuable reasons for what I did; I expected to coin all Munstes into halfpence and farthings for my private use; I had the seats in Ireland in my eye ready for purchasing; in short, when all my brass was gone, I thought I should be nothing but gold and silver. But how unluckily are my hopes frustrated!-my patent almost turned to an indictment; my title of knight to that of a rogue; my fine seats to Bristol gaol, and my coach going to Parliament to a cart, I am afraid, travelling to Tyburn. While there was water between me and my accusation, I thought myself pretty secure; but when I am arraigned in my own hearing, attacked in my own garrison, what can I expect? The honourable Mr Shippen (Lord that I should have the misfortune to deal with honest men) has emphatically condemned and executed me. He says he hopes to see my patent laid before the House, which is as much as to say, he hopes to see me hanged and gibbetted; for that I shall certainly be, if it |