with God. Yet I continued to plead with God till he showed me that I had passed from death unto life, by the love which I then felt in my heart to all true believers, by whatever name they were called. Still Satan tempted me to think I was deceived: but by continuing in prayer, and in reading the word, I got more light, strength, and comfort. Satan, however, continued to follow me with unbelieving temptations, and I was too prone to listen to his wily suggestions; consequently, I became low and depressed in my mind, and full of gloomy apprehensions of God's wrath. In this state I went, one morning, to the old church, but being too early, I went into the choir to meditate until prayers began; when, on looking up, I saw these words written, "If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." I cried out immediately, "I do believe, I do believe, I can believe!" Instantly all my doubts and fears vanished, and I found such a power of faith as I had never before experienced. About this time Mr. Atkinson's brother preached from The wages of sin is death," &c. I had never heard such a Gospel sermon before, though I had constantly sat under Mr. Atkinson's ministry on Sunday afternoon: but I then got such discoveries of Divine truth, and of the way of faith, as transcended all my previous knowledge or conceptions. Miss P. being at our house, and inclining to love and fear God, we both attended Mr. Atkinson's private evening lectures for young women; one of which was made a peculiar blessing and comfort to my soul. But not being perfectly satisfied with the light I obtained under Mr. Atkinson's preaching, and being altogether dissatisfied with the remainder of the clergy in

Leeds, I was tempted occasionally to wander from the church; sometimes I went to the Baptists, both Particular and General, and sometimes among the Independents; still I got no good, but rather became dark and perplexed in my views of the Gospel. All this time I never went near the Methodists, having, through report, a strong prejudice against them, believing them to be a set of mere hypocrites and evil doers; the Lord, however, was gracious to me in overcoming my prejudices, and drawing me by his own power among that poor and despised people.

'In the afternoon of the day when I first went to the Methodist chapel, I had been, as usual, to hear Mr. Atkinson; he was particularly lively and alarming, and spoke of the last judgment in the most impressive and striking manner: my mind was so sweetly drawn under his discourse, that I was ready to cry out

"I hear the rumbling wheels, and pray,

Triumphant Lord, appear."

After my return home, I retired as usual to pray and meditate upon the word, when I became exceedingly depressed, and my mind greatly clouded and bewildered, so that I could neither read, pray, nor compose my thoughts. I thought, surely God has not forsaken me! I was happy and blessed when I came home, but now I am far off; my hope is gone; yet I considered it might perhaps be a temptation permitted to happen unto me for the trial of my faith, and so resolved to struggle on. At last it came powerfully to my mind, "Go to the Methodist chapel." I thought," No; I have been to church; and I cannot learn any thing among the Methodists which I do not know; besides, they cannot give me better instruction than I have received this afternoon under Mr. Atkinson." Still it followed me

"Go to the Methodist meeting;" and as I perceived no light or comfort from God, either in prayer or reading, I concluded to follow this impression for once. Before I went I retired into my room, and taking up the Golden Treasury, I opened upon the words, "Simon, Simon, behold Satan hath desired to have you that he may sift you as wheat; but I have prayed for thee that thy faith fail not." These words came with such extraordinary power to my soul, that I went to the meeting, looking to, and simply depending upon God. Who the preacher was I cannot tell, neither do I recollect what kind of a discourse he made; but his text was, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you;" and while they were singing,

"Love divine, all loves excelling,

Joy of heaven, to earth come down,"

I felt such a heaven descend into my soul as I never before experienced, neither had it entered into my heart to conceive the glory of such a Divine manifestation. I could see nothing but light, and felt nothing but an ecstasy of love; I was, as it were inwrapped in a sunbeam, and could scarcely forbear exclaiming, This is what I have been so long seeking after; why did I not come sooner among this people? but now this people shall be my people, and their God shall be my God!

'As I had long been called a Methodist on account of my religious strictness, I felt something like a glorying in the reproach, accounting it greater riches than the treasures of Egypt. Some years previous to this, I heard the Moravians, and was so much affected under their discourses, as to be secretly inclined to join them, but could not on account of my friends and situation in

life; but every objection in my own mind was removed with respect to the Methodists. I therefore determined to embrace the first opportunity of uniting myself to them; I attended their preachings at all opportunities, and began to feel acutely when I could not be admitted to their society meetings; but the preachers sometimes gave leave for seriously-disposed persons to attend them, which gave me some consolation.

The love-feast drawing nigh, and having a great desire to go to it, I took courage, and went to the preacher to obtain an admittance ticket; for I did not know a single individual amongst the Methodists, neither had any one vouchsafed to take the least notice of me: however, I got one, and found it good to be there; but not being a member, I thought I had no right to speak, though I could have told them how great things God had done for my soul.

'I now began to love the Methodists more and more, yet often had misgivings about joining them, through fear of persecution from my friends; and not knowing any of them, I never made any efforts to join the society. O how often have I longed to be in their private meetings; and hung about the doors where they were held, none taking me by the hand, and saying, "Come with us, and we will do you good." But the Lord saw my weakness, and opened a way for me when I least expected it. One day, having occasion to buy some hosiery goods, I went to the nearest shop, which happened to be Mr. Smith's, and found Mrs. Smith and her two daughters in the shop. While paying for what I had purchased, Mrs. S. said, "I think I have seen you at the Methodist chapel." I replied, 'I dare say you have." She then asked me if I had joined the society? I said, "No." This she lamented,

34

MEMOIR OF MRS. TATHAM.

saying, that she thought it would be a great advantage to me to meet with the people of God, and that it was not a little honour to have our names enrolled amongst his people. I told her that I should very much like it, but that I was unacquainted with any of the Methodists, besides which I was afraid of my aunt knowing it. She asked me if I should like to go to a class, and told me that her daughters were going to one that evening, and that if I pleased I might accompany them. I thanked her, and engaged to call upon them that evening if I had opportunity. I went, but was too late; yet I thought as they had invited me I would follow them so I ventured to go to the house where they met, and inquired for Miss Smith, who came out and introduced me to the class-leader, Mrs. Rhodes. I cannot say that I derived much benefit at that time, but I was determined to use every means God put in my way. From that time a close intimacy took place between me and that family; I could go and unbosom my whole soul to them upon all occasions; and our friendship abounded yet more and more.'

And no wonder, since by their means she was introduced to fellowship with the Church of Christ, and came to participate in the sanctity and joy of spiritual communion. How desirable it is that inquirers-seekers— should be thus taken by the hand, and assisted into the fold, around the entrance of which they are anxiously waiting for admission, and upon the provisions of which they are longing to be fed!