of a well-kicked football. Then look at the dwarfs;-can anything be more absolutely loathsome? When Providence, in its inscrutable ways, sends such an addition to a household, it is as carefully kept out of sight as if it were a fairy changeling. All the family are kind to the cruit, as such a deformity is called in Scotland, but it is certainly not paraded as an object of wonder and congratulation. Yet there are men who gain their livelihood by hawking such unhappy and unfortunate beings as shows; and a Legislature which has prohibited dogs from being used as draught animals of carriage, to the ruin of many a dismembered tar, who would rather have wanted meat for his own mouth than neglected the companions of his pilgrimage, sanctions, without any scruple, these disgusting and degrading exhibitions of human deformity!

We repeat, that showmen, in their legitimate sphere, have our entire sympathy. They have done, in their own line, good service to the State, and we hope they may continue to do so. Even the humblest penny show, with no more apparatus than a magnifying glass, through which is seen a tolerable view of Paris, Rome, or St Petersburg, tends to give new and more extended ideas to thousands of our rural population. A lecture from Lord John Russell upon the Constitutional History of England has immeasurably less effect on the popular mind, than the poor engine, resembling an organ in atrophy, which yonder plodding mendicant carries upon his shoulders; for within it there are pictures of the death of Nelson at Trafalgar, the final charge at Waterloo, and the coronation of our beloved Queen, which will make youthful hearts bound and throb with a sensation of patriotism and loyalty, more estimable by a thousand times than the dull assent of dotards to the effete prosing of a Whig. And, before the year is out, there will be, in every village and hamlet, representations of Alma and of Inkermann, battles in which Jack, Tom, and Harry have not merely an historical but a real family interest; for in the one a father was engaged, and in the other a brother was wounded, and the national quarrel has become their own,

and the boys are ready, if need be, to devote themselves for their Queen and the country.

Recognising, as we thus do, the power of showmen, it follows that we regard as a huge delinquency, or rather crime, the conduct of those who abuse and desecrate such power. By his own showing, Barnum is the chief of such sinners. The moral obliquity of the man is so decided and confirmed, that we need be at no pains to point it out, for he openly proclaims it. He can discern no distinction between truth and falsehood, save as either tends to swell his amount of personal profits. We need hardly remark, after this, that truth is at a fearful discount; and he chuckles over successful knavery, as if it were a passport to the gates of heaven! The memoirs of such an individual do not form the most agreeable subject for an article; but as Barnum professes to love publicity, he shall have it, at least in so far as lies in our power. It would be cruel to deny to such a distinguished and indefatigable aspirant any of the honours of the pillory.

While saying this, however, we by no means pledge ourselves to give him a regular review. All fish are not worth the gutting; and really Barnum presents to us such a superabundance of garbage, that we are compelled to exercise a due discretion. Therefore we shall pass over, without any especial notice, the family-tree of the illustrious Barnums, merely remarking that the plant in question had its roots in the state of Connecticut. Nor need we bother ourselves much with the infantine recollections of our Scapin, whose precocious genius for moneymaking was exhibited at the early age of six, when he commenced business on his own account, or rather by his own account, as a manufacturer and vender of molasses-candy, gingerbread, and cherry-rum. This is pretty well to begin with. The young purveyor who, at six years, was at once a confectioner, cook, and distiller, and made large profits on each branch of trade, is almost as good a subject for a heroic hymn from a Yankee Homer, as was Hermes, whose predatory exploits, four-and-twenty hours after he was born, have been celebrated by the blind old man of Scio's rocky isle. By the way, we should like to know what

kind of state this Connecticut really is. If we are to take Barnum's word for it, the division in which he and his were raised, was a mere colony of sharpers; every man, woman, and child in it attempting to outwit, overreach, and defraud their neighbours. Our friends in America had better look to it in time; for if the statements in this book as to the tone of the moral perceptions prevalent among the bulk of the middle classes are allowed to remain uncontradicted and unrepudiated-if Barnum's sketches of society are acknowledged to be true-then they dare not hereafter take exception to the harshest and most unfavourable pictures which have been drawn by European travellers. We say this in the most friendly spirit to America and the Americans; recollecting how often they have complained, with evident soreness, of being maligned and misrepresented. Well, then, we can assure them that this book of Barnum's, which we doubt not will have a very considerable circulation in this country, is calculated to do them more harm than anything that was ever written by an alien. What can we think of a community in which a combmaker, represented as a man of some substance, suborns a boy, the son of a practising physician, to steal horns from a warehouse in the docks, and if he can 66 manage to hook some of them occasionally," offers to give him rather less than half their market value? No doubt such things occur in London, among the slopsellers and venders of marine stores; but not in the way of selecting boys of respectable parentage as their instruments. In the instance which Barnum cites, the youth was a great deal too knowing to place himself within the grasp even of such law as is administered by the "Judges of Connecticut; but he had no mind to forego the plunder; so, with an acuteness which might have done honour to Macchiavelli ere he assumed his first pair of breeches, the sharp juvenile accepted the engagement, and drove for a considerable period a profitable trade in horns. These, however, were abstracted, not from the wharf, but from the stores of his unconscious employer, who was thus buying his own property from his own accredited thief! Ancient Sparta, with

its queer system of infant ethics, is outdone by modern Connecticut.

Beautiful pups these people of Connecticut appear to be, according to the revelations of Mr Barnum! Here he is, as a clerk in a store, having previously dabbled in lotteries. Let us hear our moralist, ætatis 17, on the state of provincial traffic:—

"Messrs Keeler and Whitlock sold out in the summer of 1827. I remained a their store of goods to Mr Lewis Taylor short time as clerk for Mr Taylor. They have a proverb in Connecticut, that "the best school in which to have a boy learn human nature, is to permit him to be a tin pedlar for a few years.' I think his chances for getting his eye-teeth cut' would be equally great in a country barter store like that in which I was clerk. As before stated, many of our customers were hatters, and we took hats in payment for goods. The large manufacturers generally dealt pretty fairly by us, but some of the smaller fry occasionally shaved us prodigiously. There probably is no trade in which there can be more cheating than in hats. If a hat was damaged in colouring' or otherwise, perhaps by a cut of half a foot in length, it was sure to be patched up, smoothed over, and slipped in with others to send to the store. Among the furs used for the nap of hats in those days, were otter, beaver, Russia, nutria otter, cony, muskrat, etc., etc. The best fur was otter, the

poorest was cony.

"The hatters mixed their inferior furs with a little of their best, and sold us hats for 'otter.' We in return mixed our sugars, teas and liquors, and gave them the most valuable names. It was 'dog eat dog''tit for tat.' Our cottons were sold for wool, our wool and cotton for silk and linen; in fact, nearly everything was different from what it was represented. The customers cheated us in their fabrics; we cheated the customers with our goods. Each party expected to be cheated, if it was possible. Our eyes, and not our ears, had to be our masters. We must believe little that we saw, and less that we heard. Our calicoes were all colours,' according to our representations, and the colours would generally run 'fast' enough and show them a tub of soap suds. Our ground coffee was as good as burned peas, beans, and corn considering the price of corn-meal. The could make, and our ginger was tolerable, tricks of trade' were numerous. If a pedler' wanted to trade with us for a box of beaver hats worth sixty dollars per dozen, he was sure to obtain a box of

fast

'conies' which were dear at fifteen dollars per dozen. If we took our pay in clocks, warranted to keep good time, the chances were that they were no better than a chest of drawers for that purpose -that they were like Pindar's razors 'made to sell;' and if half the number of wheels necessary to form a clock could be found within the case, it was as lucky as extraordinary."

The old entomological adage as to the necessity of creeping before flying is well illustrated in the case of Barnum; and therefore we need not refer to his small preliminary" dodges." With that strange infatuation, or rather moral obliquity of vision, to which we have already referred, he does not seem to be conscious that all his professions of piety and religion are utterly negatived by his conduct; and that, while he wishes to be considered theoretically a saint, he is practically describing himself, by his deeds, as a very serious and inveterate sinner. Many vices there are to which youth is subject and peculiarly prone; and rarely does it happen that even the best guarded and instructed pass through that fiery ordeal without stains, which ought to be so many mementoes to them to avoid harsh and illiberal judgments, and to be merciful and forbearing in their estimate of their fellow-men, as they trust one day, at the highest Tribunal, to obtain the meed of mercy. But are the passions of youth, or its excesses even, to be named in the same category with that lust of gold, which, when it once gains the mastery, overthrows every moral principle or precept which stands between it and the coveted acquisition? God forbid! Possibly Mr Barnum, in the course of his literary researches, never happened to fall in with the sayings of the son of Sirach, and therefore may not be able to appreciate the ethical force of such sentences as these:

"Set not thine heart upon goods unjustly gotten; for they shall not profit thee in the day of calamity."

"Winnow not with every wind, and go not into every way; for so doth the sinner that hath a double tongue."

"Devise not a lie against thy brother; neither do the like to thy friend."

"Use not to make any manner of lie, for the custom thereof is not good."

"Hate not laborious work, neither husbandry, which the Most High hath ordained."

Such learning can hardly be expected from one who is clearly ignorant of the rudiments of ethics. He meets the adage that "honesty is the best policy" with a broad and emphatic denial. He seems to think that if a man professes teetotalism, is punctual in his payments, and discharges his family duties in a creditable manner, he is entitled to claim carte blanche as to anything else, and play whatever tricks he may find most conducive to his immediate profit. Before he was two-and-twenty, he had set up stores, started all manner of lotteries, taken unto himself a wife, established a newspaper called the Herald of Freedom, and been fined and imprisoned for libel! Until we read this book of his, we really believed that Mr Dickens, in his Martin Chuzzlewit, had slightly exaggerated matters in his depiction of "Colonel Diver," and the boy-editor "Jefferson Brick." We now acknowledge our error, and cheerfully admit, on the strength of this corroborative evidence, that the sketches of Mr Dickens, so far from being caricatures, are very decidedly within the mark. Let us hear Squire Barnum's own account, as published in his own paper, of his triumphal return from jail :—

"P. T. Barnum and the band of music took their seats in a coach drawn by six horses, which had been prepared for the occasion. The coach was preceded by forty horsemen, and a marshal, bearing the national standard. Immediately in the rear of the coach was the carriage of the orator and the president of the day, followed by the committee of arrangements and sixty carriages of citizens, which joined in escorting the editor to his home in Bethel.

"When the procession commenced its march, amidst the roar of cannon, three cheers were given by several hundred citizens who did not join in the procession. The band of music continued to play a variety of national airs until their arrival in Bethel (a distance of three miles), when they struck up the beautiful and appropriate tune of 'Home, sweet Home!' After giving three hearty cheers, the

procession returned to Danbury. The utmost harmony and unanimity of feeling prevailed throughout the day, and we are happy to add that no accident occurred to mar the festivities of the occasion."

What were the triumphs of Scipio Africanus, of Pompey, and of Cæsar, compared with the ovation of Barnum?

Of course, a man who had received, and, as he tells us, merited such honours, could not be expected to confine himself for the rest of his life to dealing in paltry traffickings in wooden nutmegs, or the sale of pocket-books, combs, beads, cheap finger-rings, and "stewed oysters." He acknowledges that his mercantile business did not thrive; and we are not surprised at the confession. In 1835, he commenced his real career. His first speculation was of the following kind :

"In the latter part of July 1835, Mr Coley Bartram, of Reading, Ct., and at present a resident of the same State, called

at our store. He was acquainted with Mr Moody and myself. He informed us that he owned an interest in an extra. ordinary negro woman, named JOICE HETH, whom he believed to be one hundred and sixty-one years of age, and whom he also believed to have been the nurse of General Washington. He had sold out his interest to his partner, R. W. Lindsay, of Jefferson county, Kentucky, who was now exhibiting her in Philadelphia, but not having much tact as a showman, he was anxious to sell out and return home.

"Mr Bartram also handed me a copy of The Pennsylvania Inquirer, of July 15, 1835, and directed my attention to the following advertisement, which I here transcribe verbatim :—

"CURIOSITY.-The citizens of Philadelphia and its vicinity have an opportunity of witnessing at the MASONIC HALL one of the greatest natural curiosities ever witnessed, viz., JOICE HETH, a negress, aged 161 years, who formerly belonged to the father of General Washington. She has been a member of the Baptist Church 116 years, and can rehearse many hymns, and sing them according to former custom. She was born near the old Potomac river in Virginia, and has for 90 or 100 years lived in Paris, Kentucky, with the Bowling family.

"All who have seen this extraordinary woman are satisfied of the truth of the account of her age. The evidence of the Bowling family, which is respectable, is strong, but the original bill of sale of Augustine Washington, in his own handwriting, and other evidence which the proprietor has in his possession, will satisfy even the most incredulous.

"A lady will attend at the hall during the afternoon and evening for the accommodation of those ladies who may call.

"The New York newspapers had al

ready furnished descriptions of this wonderful personage; and becoming considerably excited upon the subject, I proceeded at once to Philadelphia, and had an interview with Lindsay at the Masonic Hall.

"I was favourably struck with the appearance of the old woman. So far as outward indications were concerned, she might almost as well have been called a thousand years old as any other age. She was lying upon a high lounge in the middle of the room; her lower extremities were drawn up, with her knees elevated some two feet above the top of the lounge. She was apparently in good health and spirits, but former disease or old age, or unable to change her position; in fact, perhaps both combined, had rendered her although she could move one of her arms at will, her lower limbs were fixed in their position, and could not be straightened. She was totally blind, and her eyes were so deeply sunken in their sockets that the eyeballs seemed to have disappeared altogether. She had no teeth, but possessed a head of thick bushy grey hair. Her left arm lay across her breast, and she had no power to remove it. The fingers of her left hand were drawn down so as nearly to close it, and remained fixed and immovable. The nails upon that hand were about four inches in

length, and extended above her wrist. The nails upon her large toes also had grown to the thickness of nearly a quarter

of an inch.

"She was very sociable, and would talk almost incessantly so long as visitors would converse with her. She sang a variety of ancient hymns, and was very dear little George,' as she termed the garrulous when speaking of her protégé great father of our country. She declared that she was present at his birth, that she was formerly the slave of Augustine Washington, the father of George, and that she was the first person who put clothes upon him. 'In fact,' said Joice, and it was a favourite expression of hers, I raised him.' She related many interesting anecdotes of her dear little George;' and this, mixed with her conversations upon religious subjects-for she claimed to be a member of the Baptist Church-rendered her exhibition an extremely interesting one."

We give the passage entire, in order that our readers may understand what kind of exhibitions are popular in America. Supposing the story to be true, though even Barnum does not affect to believe it, here is a miserable old object, scarce better than an ani