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Contract? Why, the whole Tribe of Card-match-makers which frequent the Quarter, paffed by his Door the very next Day, in Hopes of being bought off af

ter the fame manner.

IT is another great Imperfection in our London Cries, that there is no juft Time nor Measure obferved in them. Our News fhould indeed be published in a very quick 'Time, because it is a Commodity that will not keep 'cold. It fhould not, however, be cried with the fame Precipitation as Fire: Yet this is generally the Cafe: A Bloody Battle alarms the Town from one End to ano⚫ther in an Instant. Every Motion of the French is publifhed in fo great a Hurry, that one would think the Enemy were at our Gates. This likewife I would take upon me to regulate in fuch a manner, that there should be fome Distinction made between the fpreading of a < Victory, a March, or an Incampment, a Dutch, a Portugal, or a Spanish Mail. Nor muft I omit under this Head, thofe exceffive Alarms with which feveral boisterous Rufticks infeft our Streets in Turnip-Season, and' which are more inexcufable, because these are Wares which are in no Danger of cooling upon their Hands.

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THERE are others who affect a very flow Time,' and are, in my Opinion, much more tunable than the former; the Cooper in particular fwells his last Note in an hollow Voice, that is not without its Harmony; nor can I forbear being infpired with a moft agreeable Melancholy, when I hear that fad and folemn Air with which the Publick are very often asked, if they have any Chairs to mend Your own Memory may fuggeft to you many other lamentable Ditties of the fame Nature, in which the Mufick is wonderfully languishing and me<lodious.

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I am always pleafed with that particular Time of the Year which is proper for the Pickling of Dill and Cucum<bers; but alas, this Cry, like the Song of the Nightingale, < is not heard above two Months. It would therefore be worth while to confider, whether the fame Air might not in fome Cafes be adapted to other Words.

IT might likewife deferve our moft ferious Confideration, how far, in a well-regulated City, thofe Humourists are to be tolerated, who, not contented with

syst.

1000

the

• the traditional Cries of their Forefathers, have invented
• particular Songs and Tunes of their own: Such as was
not many Years fince, the Paftry-man, commonly
known by the Name of the Colly-Molly-Puff; and fuch
as is at this Day the Vender of Powder and Wash-
balls, who, if I am rightly informed, goes under the
Name of Powder-Watt.

I must not here omit one particular Abfurdity which
runs through this whole vociferous Generation, and
which renders their Cries very often not only incommo-
dious, but altogether useless to the Publick; I mean, that
idle Accomplithment which they all of them aim at, of
crying fo as not to be understood. Whether or no they
have learned this from feveral of our affected Singers, I
will not take upon me to fay; but moft certain it is,
that People know the Wares they deal in rather by their
Tunes than by their Words; infomuch that I have fome
times feen a Country Boy run out to buy Apples of a
Bellows-mender, and Ginger-bread from a Grinder of
Knives and Sciffars. Nay, fo ftrangely infatuated are
• fome very eminent Artifts of this particular Grace in
a Cry, that none but their Acquaintance are able
to guefs at their Profeffion; for who elfe can know,
that Work if I had it, fhould be the Signification of a
• Corn-Cutter ?

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FOR ASMUCH therefore as Perfons of this Rank
are feldom Men of Genius or Capacity, I think it would
be very proper, that fome Man of good Senfe and found
Judgment fhould prefide over thefe publick Cries, who
Thould permit none to lift up their Voices in our Streets,
that have not tuneable Throats, and are not only able to
overcome the Noife of the Croud, and the Rattling of
Coaches, but also to vend their refpective Merchandizes
in apt Phrafes, and in the most diftinct and agreeable
Sounds. I do therefore humbly recommend my felf as
a Perfon rightly qualified for this Poft; and if I meet
with fitting Encouragement, fhall communicate fome
other Projects which I have by me, that may no less
<conduce to the Emolument of the Publick.

6

I am, SIR, &c.

Ralph Crotchet.

IN DE X

A

A

Bfence of Lovers, Death in Love, N. 241. How
to be made ealy, ibid.

Abftinence, the Benefits of it, N. 193.
Accompts, their great Usefulness, N. 174.

Atefta, his Anfwer to Limborch touching the Multiplicity
of Ceremonies in the Jewish Religion, N. 213.
Action, a threefold Divifion of our Actions, N. 213. No
right Judgment to be made of them," 174.

Admiration, one of the moft pleafing Paffions, N. 237.
Adverfity, no Evil in it self, N.237.

Advertisement from Mr. Sly the Haberdafher, N. 187.
About the Lottery Ticket, 191.

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Ambition, by what to be measured, N. 188. Many times
as hurtful to the Princes who are led by it as the Peo-
ple, 200. Moft Men fubject to it, 219, 224. Of3
Ufe when rightly directed, 219.
Annihilation, by whom defired, N. 210. The most ab-
ject of Wishes, ibid.

.1

Apes, what Women fo called, and defcribed, N. 244.
Apollo's Temple on the Top of Leucate, by whom frequent-
ed, and for what Purpofe, N. 223.
Apothecary, his Employment, N. 195.

Appetites, fooner moved than the Paffions, N. 208;
Argument, Rules for the Management of one, N. 197.
Argumentum Bafilinum, what, 239. Socrates his way
of Arguing, ibid. In what manner managed by States
and Communities, ibid."

Argus, his Qualifications and Employments under Juno,~
N. 250.

VOL. III.

Ariftanetus

Ariftanetus his Letters, fome Account of them, N. 238.
Ariftotle the Inventer of Syllogifm, N. 239.-

Acheifts great Zealots, N. 185. and Bigots, ibid. Their
Opinions downright Nonfenfe, ibid.

B.

Bawdy-Houfes frequented by Wife Men not out of

Wantonnefs but Stratagem, N. 190.

Beggars, Sir Andrew Freeport's Opinion of them, N. 232,
Boileau cenfured, and for what, N. 209.

Butts: the Adventure of a Butt on the Water, N. 175.

C.

Aprice often acts in the Place of Reason, N. 191.
Caftillian. The Story of a Caftillian Husband and
his Wife, N. 198.

Charles the Great, his Behaviour to his Secretary, whe
had debauched his Daughter, N. 181.

Children, the Unnaturalnefs in Mothers of making them
fuck a Stranger's Milk, N. 246,

Chinese, the Punishment among them for Parricide,
N. 189.

Christian Religion, the clear Proof of its Articles, and
'Excellency of its Doctrines, N. 186, 213.

Club. The She-Romp Club, N. 217. Methods obferved by
that Club, ibid.

Club-law a convincing Argument, N. 239.

Coffee-Houfe Difputes, N. 197.

Comfort, what, and where found, N. 196.
Conquefts, the Vanity of them, N. 180.

Conftancy in Sufferings, the Excellency of it, N. 237.
Cordeliers, their Story of St. Francis their Founder, N. 245.
Cornaro, Lewis, a remarkable Inftance of the Benefit of
Temperance, N. 195.

Coverley, Sir Roger de, a Difpute between him and Sir
Andrew Freeport, N. 174.

Cowards naturally impudent, N. 231.

Credulity in Women infamous, N. 190.

Cries of London require fome Regulation, N. 251.
Curiofity, one of the strongest and most lasting of our
Appetites, N. 237.

Cunning, the Accomplishment of whom, N. 237.

Cyndas

Cynaas, Pyrrhus's chief Minister, his handsome Reproof
to that Prince, N. 180.

D.

D Ebauchee, his Pleasure is that ofa Deftroyer, N. 199

Dedications, the Abfurdity of them in general,

N. 188.

The Errors into

Devotion. A Man is diftinguifh'd from Brutes by Devo-
tion more than by Reafon, N. 201.
which it often leads us, ibid.

The Notions the most

Refined among the Heathens had of it, 207. Socrates's
Model of Devotions, ibid.

Difcontent, to what often owing, N. 214.

4

Difcretion an Under-Agent of Providence, N. 225. Di-
ftinguished from Cunning, ibid.

Diftinction, the Defire of it implanted in our Natures, and
why, N. 274.

Doctor in Moorfields, his Contrivance, N. 193.

Derigney, Monfieur, his Piece of the Transfiguration ex-
cellent in its Kind, N. 226.

Drinking, a Rule prefcribed for it, N. 195.

Dutch, their Saying of a Man that happens to break,
N. 174.

E

E.

of it, N. 215. The first thing to be taken Care of
in Education, 224.

Eginhart, Secretary to Charles the Great, his Adventure
and Marriage with that Emperor's Daughter, N. 181.
Enthufiafm, the Mifery of it, N, 201.

Epictetus, his Allufion on human Life, N. 219.

Epitaph of a charitable Man, N. 177.

Erafmus infulted by a Parcel of Trojans, N. 239.

Eftates generally purchafed by the flower Part of Man-
kind, N. 222.

Eugenius appropriates a tenth Part of his Eftate to charita-
ble Ufes, N. 177.

St. Evremont, his Endeavours to palliate the Romish Su-
perftitions, N. 213.

Exercife, the most effectual Phyfick, N. 195.

EX

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