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------There are many wise priests also, who will contribute all their wisdom for their own emolument, to make me omniscient or infallible." Having such an agreeable account of his holiness's affairs, I resolved all his scruples at once; for thus I addressed him: "Most subtile of all the priests, if thus you are supported, I think all things go very favourably. Therefore lose no time in publishing to the world your excellent scheme of divinity. Let it be proclaimed, that henceforth you are no longer man."

IMP. His holiness was in the right of it to disclaim humanity. What mortal man was ever endued with such qualities as are his? What mere man was ever infallible? Not Peter, he fell low enough. Infallibility is an essential attribute of Godhead, and his holiness being possessed of that, must needs be God. What man ever did, or ever will reign with despotic power over all the priests and princes of the earth putting down one and exalting another at his pleasure, like his holiness. It is by him that kings reign, and princes decree judgment, and not by the Almighty as formerly. Therefore his holiness can be no mortal man. And yet a mortal god is a strange sort of character.

INFID. The great priest thanked me for my good advice, secretly renounced the name of Jesus and swore allegiance to me. Called for Falax, whom he chose for his scrivener, and Perfidiosus, whom he appointed secretary. Then with all convenient speed, issued forth an edict, in which it was declared,

1. That the word of God is no longer of any force to decide religious controversies; but that the bare word of his holiness at Rome should determine in every case.

2. That no man henceforward should dare to search the scriptures contrary to the resolution of the apostolic chair; the Bible being condemned as a book full of heresy and protestant tenets ; containing many things pernicious to the souls of men, and very derogatory from the honour of holy mother church.

3. That the pope's bible, or canons, decrees, and legends, are to be held as the only rule of faith and practice, exclusive of all others under pain of eternal damnation.

4. That God, who made heaven and earth, hath no longer power to save or damn any man without the pope's permission; and that the infallible bishop of Rome would save and damn whom he should think proper.

5. Notice was given to all whom it might concern, that the free pardons were already all expended. So that a former proclamation made from another quarter, which held forth nothing but free pardons, is to be held null and void; and that in future no man may expect pardon, unless the full price is paid into the hand of a faithful priest, as delegate of his holiness.

6. That the Holy Ghost is to be deemed incapable of the work of sanctification; all the souls he hath undertaken to cleanse, having been found with many spots upon them, before

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they passed through his holiness's furnace hereafter to be

named.

7. Advertisement: That his holiness the pope has at great expence, obtained a very large quantity of the most purifying fire in hell, together with a battalion of the most skilful furies of the pit to work the flames, both of which he hath placed in limbo, alias purgatory, where for a poportionable sum promptly paid unto one of his holiness's vassals, or priests, any catholic spectre shall be burned as white as a bishop's band.

8. The better to encourage this branch of priestcraft, it was declared that no case is quite desperate, but that of those who abide by the Bible as the only rule of faith and practice.

9. It was declared, that the Almighty has no longer any power to support princes in their sovereignty, that power having devolved upon his popeship; who for the future would exalt or debase princes, as they proved steady or unsteady to his interest.

10. It was enacted, that no man should in the least call in question the pope's divinity, his supremacy, and infallibility, and every person thus offending should be deemed an atheist, an heretic and traitor, and as such should be destroyed.

Now, my brother, having thus far carried on my history, let me beg you to recite some part of yours.

FAST. With all my heart, brother, but it must be to-morrow morning. Our time is now spent. Business must be attended, or it will wither and decay.

DIALOGUE XI.

FASTOSUS.

PRAY, Crudelis, what is this mighty affair, that so highly tickles your fancy? Let your kindred share in your mirth, I beseech you.

CRUD. Yesterday afternoon I was conjured up by Squire Broadfield, to assist in the whipping of a poor man, who being ready to perish with hunger, unluckily begged a morsel of bread at his door. But before I give you an account of the whipping I shall first give you a specimen of the gentleman's character.

Squire Broadfield is a gentleman, and justice of peace. He is worth five thousand pounds a-year, and that is enough to make him a gentleman, even if his father had been a beggar; to make him wise, though born a fool; learned, although a very dunce. Indeed it must be owned, the principal part of his worship's education was had under Dr. Ringwood and Dr. Jowler, the celebrated tutors of his kennel. Their maxims he perfectly

anderstands, and their virtues he has adopted; but tive thousand a-year, you know, makes the study of the kennel truly classical.

'Talk you of Orpheus to him, his worship proposes the virtue of Ringwood to your consideration. Do you admire the ardour which flames in the Iliads; his worship says, no music like the voice of Jowler. Tell him of the majesty of Virgil, he'll bid you mind well the gait of his horse, what a majestic creature he is. An emperor, says he, might be proud to ride such another. Do you recommend the pleasures of solid learning to him, he is in raptures about the diversions of the chace. As yet he hath avoided the yoke of matrimony; not that he was ever an admirer of continence, few gentlemen being more conversant with the fair sex than his worship.

He keeps in his house a wanton train of over-fed servants, the superfluities of whose table would comfort the bowels of many indigent besides a pack of hounds, which devour more than serves to maintain all the poor in the parish workhouse. But this miserable wretch who cannot work because he is lame, and having no parish to flee to for relief, chooseth to beg rather than steal, for which his worship ordered him to be severely whipped by my good son the beadle, till he shall be made willing either to steal for a living or to die of hunger.

IMP. I am not certain that John Ketch, Esq. of fatal character, had any hand in procuring the law for whipping beggars; but certainly it adds greatly to his revenue. Nor am I certain that

it was made on purpose to drive vagrants from begging to stealing, in order more speedily to ease the nation of such a burden; but certain I am, it greatly helps to fill up the Tyburn chronicle. But what more, cousin?

CRUD. As the poor lame fellow was confronted by the beadle, and was convinced of the reality of his worship's benevolent intention to have him well flogged; he fell on his knees, and implored mercy for God's sake, and for Christ's sake, &c. promising that if he might be forgiven this once, he would never return to these parts any more. He pleaded his indigence, his hungry belly, his lameness, his belonging to no parish, and every thing his fear could devise; but all served only to harden the justice's heart the more. He ordered the beadle to take him away, and do his duty immediately. The beadle signified to him as they drew near to the whipping post, that he felt some relentings of heart towards him and that if he could only give him an handsome fee, he would favour him as much as his reputation would admit of. But, upon enquiry, finding that the old fellow was so wicked as to have no money, his heart became like brass, and he resolved to ply him thoroughly to the satisfaction of his worship. Accordingly when Squire Broadfield and me arrived in company to see the sport, there was the poor rascal, whose poverty

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