dreds-Why should not I give her three hundred? [Aside.] I did not care if I went as far as three hundred-If three hundred pounds, my Lady Constant, will settle the matter-Why, as to the matter of three hundred pounds→→

Enter FURNISH, with a Bandbox, L.

Fur. (L.) Your Ladyship's things are come home from the milliner's. [Showing the Bandbox. Sir Bash. Zookers! this woman has overheard me ! [Aside.] As to the matter of three hundred pounds, madam. [Loud in a passion.] Let me tell you it is a very large sum— -ask me for three hundred pounds, madam! Do you take me for a blockhead?

[FURNISH stands near L. s. E. Lady Con. What does the man fly out so for? Sir Bash. What right have you to three hundred pounds? I will allow no such doings. Is not my house an eternal scene of your routs, and your drums, and your what-d'ye-call-'ems? Don't I often come home when the hall is barricadoed with powder-monkey servants, that I can hardly get within my own doors?

Lady Con. What is the meaning of all this, sir?

Sir Bash. Have not I seen you at a game at Loo, put the fee simple of a score of my best acres upon a single card? And have not I muttered to myself—If that woman now were as much in love with me, as she is with Pam, what an excellent wife she would make?

Lady Con. Yes, I have great reason to love you, truly!

Sir Bash. (L.) Death and fire! You are so fond of play, that I should not wonder to see my child resemble one of the court cards, or mark'd in the forehead with a pair-royal of aces. I tell you once for all, you are an ungovernable woman-Your imaginations are as wild as any woman's in BedlamDo go thither, go; for I tell you, once for all, I'll allow no such doings in my house.

[Exit SIR BASH. L. Lady Con. His head is certainly turned! Did any body ever see such behaviour?

Fur. See it! [Coming forward] no, nor bear it neither-Your ladyship will never be rightly at ease, I'm afraid, till you part with him.

Lady Con. (R. c.) Oh never; it is impossible! He not only has lost all decency, but seems to me to have bid adieu to all humanity. That it should be my fate to be married to such a quicksand! But I'll think no more of him.

Fur. Oh, madam, I had quite forgot; Mrs. Lovemore's servant is below, and desires to know if your ladyship will be at home this morning.

Lady Con. Yes, I shall be at home. Step with me to my room, and I'll give you a card to send Mrs. Lovemore. Of all things, let a woman be careful how she marries a narrow-minded, under-bred husband. [Exeunt, R.

Enter SIR BASHFUL and LOVEMORE, L.

Sir Bash. Walk in, Mr. Lovemore, walk in! I am heartily glad to see you! This is kind.

Love. I am ready, you see, to attend the call of friendship.

Sir Bash. (c.) M. Lovemore, you are a friend indeed.

Love. (L. C.) You do me honour, Sir Bashful. Pray how does my lady?

Sir Bash. Perfectly well!

better.

you.

I never saw her look

We have had t'other skirmish since I saw

Love. Another ?

Sir Bash. Ay! Another!

And I did not bate her

an ace; but I told you I had something for your private ear. [Both take Chairs, c.] Pray now have you remark'd any thing odd or singular in me?

Love. Not in the least. I never knew a man with less oddity in my life.

Sir Bash. What, nothing at all? He! he! [Smiles at him.] Have you remark'd nothing about my wife? Love. You don't live happy with her. But that is not singular.

Sir Bash. Po! I tell you, Mr. Lovemore, I am at the bottom a very odd fellow.

Love. Not at all.

Sir Bash. Yes, yes, yes,-I am---I am indeed---As odd a fish as lives-and you must have seen it before

now.

Love. Not I, truly!
Sir Bash. You have

You are not jealous, I hope? not hit the right nail o'the

head---no---no---not jealous, Do her justice, I am secure there; my lady has high notions of honour. It is not that.

Love. What then?

Sir Bush. Can't you guess?

Love. Not I, upon my soul? Explain.

Sir Bash. He, he! [Smiling and looking simple.] You could never have imagined it. I blush at the very thoughts of it. [Turns away. Love. Come, come, be a man, Sir Bashful; out with it at once, let me be of your council.

Sir Bash. Mr. Lovemore, I doubt you, and yet esteem you; some men there are, who, when a confidence is once repos'd in them, take occasion from thence to hold a rank over their friend, and tyrannize him all the rest of his days.

Love. Oh, fie! This is ungenerous! True friendship is of another quality, it feels from sympathy, and is guarded by honour.

Sir Bash. Mr. Lovemore, I have no farther doubt of you-and so-stay, stay a moment-let me just step to the door. [Goes on tiptoe.

[Aside.

Love. Jealousy has laid hold of him. Sir Bash. Servants have a way of listening. [Suddenly pushes the L. door open with both hands, and falls out.

Love. [Rising.] He has it through his very brain! [Aside.] What has he got in his head?

Sir Bash. [Returning.] No, no, all's safe; there was nobody. Mr. Lovemore, I will make you the depository-the faithful depository, of a secret, which to you will appear a mystery; my inclinations, Mr. Lovemore- -nay, but you'll laugh at me.

Love. (c.) No-upon my honour-no, no.

Sir Bash. (L. c.) Well, well, well-my inclinations, I say, are changed-no, not changed-but-they are not what they have appeared to be-I am in love-'Sdeath, I am quite asham'd of myself.

Love. Asham'd! Love is a noble passion-But don't tell me any more about it-my Lady Constant will find it out, and lay the blame to me-I must not appear to encourage you-no, no-you must not involve me in a quarrel with her.

Sir Bash. (R. c.) Pshaw! you don't take me rightquite wide of the mark-hear me out.

Love. (L. c.) I won't-indeed, I won't!-
Sir Bash. Nay, but you shall, you shall-

Love. Positively no! Let me keep clear-She shall certainly know it, and the devil's in the dice if she does not comply with my desires from mere spirit of revenge. [Aside.

Sir Bash. I tell you, Mr. Lovemore-the object of my passion-[Leading him back]—this charming woman, on whom I doat to distraction

Love. I don't desire to know it.

Sir Bash. You must, you must; this adorable crea

ture

Love. Keep it to yourself, Sir Bashful.

Sir Bash. Who looks so lovely in my eyes-is-
Love. I don't desire to know.

Sir Bash. But you shall know-is-this fine woman, is-my own wife.

Love. Your own wife!

[Stares at him. Sir Bash. [Looks silly, blushes, and turns away from him.] Yes, my own wife.

Love. This is the most unexpected discoverySir Bash. Look ye there now-he laughs at me already! [Aside. Love. And can this be possible? Are you really in love with my Lady Constant? your own wife!

Sir Bash. Spare my confusion, Mr. Lovemore-spare my confusion-Ay, it's all over with me.

Love. I should never have guess'd this, Sir Bashful.

Sir Bash. I have made myself very ridiculous, Mr. Lovemore: I know I have.

Love. Ridiculous !-far from it-Why, do you think it ridiculous to love a valuable woman? Po! Po !cheer up, man-and now to keep you in countenance I'll deposit a secret with you-I love my wife. Sir Bash. What!

Love. I am in love with my wife.

Sir Bash. He! he! Ha! ha!-no, no-you don't love her!-Ha! ha!-Do you, Mr. Lovemore? Love. Upon my honour!

Sir Bash. What, love your wife?

Love. Most ardently!

Sir Bash. Give me your hand-Give me your hand! He, he, he!-I am glad to know this!

Love. I love her most sincerely-But then I never

let her know it-no-nor I would not have the world know it, and therefore I have led the life I have done on purpose to conceal it.

Sir Bash. You are right, Mr. Lovemore-perfectly right-I have quarrell'd with my lady on purpose to cloak the affair, and prevent all suspicion.

Love. That was right; you should keep to that. Sir Bash. So I intend-but I have done a thousand kindnesses in the mean time.

Love. Have ye?

Sir Bash. Ay, a thousand-She has been plaguing me this long time for a diamond cross, and diamond shoe-buckles-madam, says I, I'll hear of no such trumpery-But then goes me I, and bespeaks them directly of the best jeweller in town-will come to three hundred-She'll have them this day, without knowing where they come from.

Love. Sly, sly. He! he!

Sir Bash. Let me alone; I know what I'm aboutAnd then, Mr. Lovemore, to cover this design-Ha! ha!-I can take occasion to be as jealous as Bedlam, when I see her wear all her diamond baubles.

Love. So you can-I wish he may never be jealous of me in earnest.

[Aside.

Sir Bash. Well, well-give us your hand-give us your hand-my dear brother sufferer-I'll tell you what, Mr. Lovemore-we can, in a sly way, do each other great service, if you will come into my scheme. Love. As how, pray?

Sir Bash. I'll tell you. There are some things, which you know our wives expect to be done.

Love. What is he at now? [Aside.] So they do, Sir Bashful.

Sir Bash. Now, if you will assist me

Love. You may depend upon my assistance. Sir Bash. Look ye, Mr. Lovemore, my Lady Constant wants money-You know she keeps a great deal of company, and makes a great figure there-I could show my wife, Mr. Lovemore, in any company in England; I wish she could say the same of me. Love. Why, truly, I wish she could.

Sir Bash. But I had not those early advantagesNow you know, I can't in reason be seen to give her money myself, so I would have you take the money of me, and pretend to lend it to her yourself, out of friendship and regard.