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of your lodgings for any body that was not sure to make you easy for the winter ?
Mrs. M. (L.) Nay, I see nothing against it, sir, but the gentleman's being a Parliament man; and when people may, as it were, think one impertinent, or be out of humour, you know, when a body comes to ask for one's
Count B. Psha! Pr’ythee, never trouble thy head ; his pay is as good as the bank. Why, he has above two thousand a year.
Mrs. M. Alas-a-day, that's nothing ! your people of ten thousand a year, have ten thousand things to do with it.
Count B. Nay, if you are afraid of being out of your money, what do you think of going a little with me, Mrs. Motherly ?
Mrs. M. As how ?
Count B. Why, I have a game in my hand, in which, if you help me to play it, you shall go five hundred to nothiag.
Mrs. M. Say you so? Why, then, I go, sir-and now, pray let's see your game.
Count B. In one word, my cards lie thus-When I was down this summer at York, I happened to lodge in the same house with this knight's lady, that's now coming to lodge with you.
Mrs. M. Is this your game? I would not give sixpence for it. What, have you a passion for her pinmoney! No, no, country ladies are not so flush of it! Is this your way of making my poor niece, Myrtilla, easy ? Had you not a letter from her this morning? Count B. I have it here in my pocket—this is it.
[Shows it, and puts it up again. Mrs. M. Ay, but I don't find you have made any answer to it.
Count B. How the devil can I, if you won't hear me ? You must know, this country knight and his lady bring up with them their eldest son and a daughter
Mrs. M. Well
Count B. The son is an unlicked whelp, about sixteen, just taken from school, and begins to banker after every wench in the family; now, him we must secure for Myrtilla. The daughter, much of the same age ; a pert huzzy, who, having eight thousand pounds left her, by an old doting grandmother, seems to have a devilish mind to be busy in her way too. -Now, what do you say to me?
Mrs. M. Say? why, I shall not sleep for thinking of it. But, as you say, one for t'other, sir; I stick to that -if you don't do my niece's business with the son, I'll blow you with the daughter, depend upon't.
Count B. Pay as we go, I tell you ; and the five hundred shall be staked down. Mrs. M. That's honest.
Enter MYRTILLA, R. So, niece, are all the rooms done out, and the beds sheeted ?
Myr. (R.) Yes, madam; but Mr. Moody tells us, the lady always burns wax in her own chamber, and we have none in the house.
Mrs. M. Odso! then I must beg your pardon, Count: this is a busy time, you know.
[Exit, L. Count B. (L.) Myrtilla, how dost thou do, child ? Myr. As well as a losing gamester can.
Count B. Psha! hang these melancholy thoughts ! Suppose I should help thee to a good husband ?
Myr. I suppose you'll think any one good enough, that will take me off your hands.
Count B. What do you think of the young country 'squire, the heir of the family that's coming to lodge here?
Myr. How should I know what to think of him?
Count B. Nay, I only give you the hint, child ; it may be worth your while at least to look about you.
Enter Mrs. MOTHERLY, in haste, L. Mrs. M. (L.) Sir! sir ! the gentleman's coach is at the door ; they are all come.
Count B. What, already ?
Mrs. M. They are just getting out! Won't you step, and lead in my lady? Do you be in the way, niece; I must run and receive them,
[Exit, L. Count B. And think of what I told you. [Exit, L.
Myr. A faithless fellow! I am sure I have been true to him; and, for that only reason, he wants to be rid of
But while women are weak, men will be rogues. Enter Mrs. MOTHERLY, showing in LADY WRONGHEAD,
L., led by Count Basset, L. Mrs, M. (L.) If your ladyship pleases to walk into
this parlour, madam, only for the present, till your servants have got all your things in
Lady W. Well, dear sir, this is so infinitely obliging -I protest it gives me pain, though, to turn you out of your lodging thus.
Count B. No trouble in the least, madam ; we single fellows are soon moved : besides, Mrs. Motherly's my old acquaintance, and I could not be her hinderance.
Mrs. M. The Count is so well bred, madam, I dare say he would do a great deal more to accommodate your ladyship. Lady W. 0, dear madam !-A good, well-bred sort of
[Apart to the Count. Count B. Oh, madam, she is very much among people of quality ; she is seldom without them in her house.
Lady W. Are there a good many people of quality in this street, Mrs. Motherly?
Mrs. M. Now your ladyship is here, madam, I don't believe there is a house without them.
Lady W. I am mighty glad of that; for, really, I think people of quality should always live among one. another.
Count B. It is what one would choose, indeed, madam.
Lady W. Bless me! but where are the children all this while ?
Sir Fran. [Within.] John Moody! stay you by the coach, and see all our things out.—Come, children. Enter Sir Francis, 'SQUIRE RICHARD, and Miss
JENNY, L. Sir Fran. (L.) Well, Count, I mun say it, this was koynd, indeed.
Count B. (L.C.) Sir Francis, give me leave to bid you welcome to London.
Sir Fran. (L. c.) Psha! how dost do, mon ?Waunds, I'm glad to see thee! a good sort of a hocse this.
Count B. (c.) Is not that Master Richard ?
Sir Fran. Ey, ey, that's young hopeful.-Why dost not baw, Dick ?
'Squire R. (L.) So I do, feyther.
Count B. Sir, I'm glad to see you.-) protest Mrs. Jane is grown so, I should not have known her.
Sir Fran. Come forward, Jenny.
Jenny. (L.) Sure, papa!'do you think I don't know how to behave myself ?
Count B. [Crosses to Jenny.1 If I have permission to approach her, Sir Francis
Jenny. Lord, Sir, I'm in such a frightful pickle ? [Salute.
Count B. (1.) Every dress that's proper must become you, madam-you have been a long journey.
Jenny. I hope you will see me in a better to-morrow, sir. [Lady Wronghead (R. c.) whispers Mrs. Motherly, pointing to Myrtilla, back of l. c.
Mrs. M. Only a niece of mine, madam, that lives with me: she will be proud to give your ladyship any assistance in her power.
Lady W. (c.) A pretty sort of a young womanJenny, you twe must be acquainted.
Jenny. Oh, Lamma, I am never strange in a strange place.
[Salutes Myrtilla. Myr. (L.) You do me a great deal of honour, madam.Madam, your ladyship’s welcome to London.
Jenny. 'Mamma, I like her prodigiously; she called me my ladyship.
'Squire R. (L. c.) Pray, mother, mayn't I be acquainted with her too !
Lady W. You, you clown! stay till you learn a little more breeding first.
Sir Fran. Od's heart, my Lady Wronghead! why do you baulk the lad ? How should he ever learn breeding, if he does not put himself forward ?
'Squire R. Why, ay, feyther, does mother think, that I'd be uncivil to her ? (Goes to her.)
Myr. Master has so much good humour, madam, he would soon gain upon any body. [He kisses Myrtilla.
'Squire R. (L.) Lo you there, mother! an you would but be quiet, she and I should do well enough.
Lady W. Why, how now, sirrah! boys must not be so familiar.
Squire R. Why, an' I know nobody, how the murrain mun I pass my time here, in a strange place? Naw you and I, and sister, forsooth, sometimes in an afternoon, may play at one thirty boneace, purely.
Jenny. Speak for yourself, sir ; d'ye think I play at such clownish games ?
'Squire R. Why, an you won't, yo' ma' let it alone; then she and I, mayhap, will have a bawt at all fours, without you.
Sir Fran. Noa, noa, Dick, that won't do neither: you mun learn to make one at ombré, here, child.
Myr. If master pleases, I'll show it him.
Squire R. What, the Humber! Hoy day! why, does our river run to this tawn, feyther ?
Sir Fran. Pooh! you silly tony! Ombre is a geam at cards that the better sort of people play three together at.
'Squire R. Nay, the more the merrier, I say; but sister is always so cross-grained
Jenny. Lord ! this boy is enough to deaf people—and one has really been stuffed up in a coach so long, that
-Pray, madam- -could I, not get a litle powder for my hair? Myr. If you please to come along with me, madam.
[Exeunt Myrtilla and Jenny, R. 'Squire R. What, has sister taken her away, naw? Mess, I'll go and have a little game with them.
[Exit after them. Lady W. (R. C.) Well, count, I hope you won't so far change your lodgings, but you will come, and be at home here sometimes.
Sir Fran. Ay, ay, pr’ythee come and take a bit of mutton with us, naw and tan, when thou'st naught to do.
Count B. Well, Sir Francis, you shall find I'll make but very little ceremony.
Sir Fran. Why, ay, now, that's hearty!
Mrs. M. Will your ladyship please to refresh yourself with a dish of tea, after your fatigue ?
Lady W. If you please, Mrs. Motherly; but I believe we had best have it above stairs.
[Exit Mrs. Motherly, R. S. E. Won't you walk up, sir ?
Sir Fran. (L.) Moody!
Count B. (R. C.). Sha'n't we stay for Sir Francis, madam ?
Lady W. (R.) Lard, don't mind him! He will come if he likes it.
Sir Fran. Ay, ay, ne'er heed me,I have things to look after,
[Exeunt Lady Wronghead and
Count Basset, R. S. E.
Sir Fran. (L.) Ay, is the coach cleared, and all our things in ?
Moody. Aw but a few bard-boxes, and the nook that's lest o'the goose poy.-But, a plague on him, the monkey