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Sir J. Lamb. I shall try that presently; and you, my dear, shall judge between us. In short, daughter, your course of life is but one continued round of playing the fool to no purpose; and therefore I am resolved to make you think seriously and marry.

Charl That I shall do before I marry, sir, you may depend upon it.

Sir J. Lamb. Um-That I am not so sure of; but you may depend upon my having thought seriously, and that's as well; for the person I intend you is, of all the world, the only man who can make you truly happy.

Charl. And of all the world, sir, that's the only man I'll positively marry.

Lady Lamb. You have rare courage, Charlotte; if I had such a game to play, I should be frighted out of my wits.

Charl. Lord! madam, he'll make nothing of it, depend upon it. [Crosses to c. Sir J. Lamb. Mind what I say to you. This wonderful man, I say-first, in his public character, is religious, zealous, and charitable.

Charl. Very well, sir.

Sir J. Lamb. In his private character, sober.
Charl. I should hate a sot.

Sir J. Lamb. Chaste.

Charl. A hem! [Stifling a laugh.]

Sir J. Lamb. What is it you sneer at, madam? You want one of your fine gentlemen rakes, I suppose, that are snapping at every woman they meet with.

Charl. No, no, sir; I am very well satisfied. I-I should not care for such a sort of a man, no more than I should for one that every woman was ready to snap

at.

Sir J. Lamb. No, you'll be secure from jealousy; he has experience, ripeness of years-he is almost fortynine. Your sex's vanity will have no charms for him.

Charl. But all this while, sir, I don't find that he has charms for our sex's vanity. How does he look? Is he tall, well made? Does he dress, sing, talk, laugh, and dance well? Has he good hair, good teeth, fine eyes? Does he keep a chaise, coach, and vis-a-vis? Has he six prancing ponies? Does he wear the prince's uniform, and subscribe to Brooke's?

Sir J. Lamb. Was there ever so profligate a creature? What will this age come to?

Lady Lamb. Nay, Charlotte, here I must be against

you. Now you are blind indeed. A woman's happiness has little to do with the pleasure her husband takes in his own person.

Sir J. Lamb. Right.

Lady Lamb. It is not how he looks, but how he loves, is the point.

Sir J. Lamb. Good again.

Lady Lamb. Aud a wife is much more secure that has charms for her husband, than when the husband has only charms for her.

Sir J. Lamb. Admirable! go on, my dear.

Lady Lamb. Do you think a woman of five-andtwenty may not be much happier with an honest man of fifty, than the finest woman of fifty with a young fellow of five-and-twenty?

Sir J. Lamb. Mark that!

Char. Ay, but when two five-and-twenties come together, dear papa, you must allow they have a chance to be fifty times as pleasant and frolicsome.

Sir J. Lamb. Frolicsome! Why, you sensual idiot, what have frolics to do with solid happiness? I am ashamed of you. Go, you talk worse than a girl at a boarding school. Frolicsome! as if marriage was only a license for two people to play the fool according to law. Methinks, madam, you have a better example of happiness before your face. Here's one has ten times your understanding, and she, you find, has made a different choice.

Charl. Lord, sir, how you talk! you don't consider people's tempers. I don't say my lady is not in the right; but then, you know, papa, she's a prude, and I am a coquette; she becomes her character very well, I don't deny it; and I hope you see every thing I do, is as consistent with mine. Your wise people may talk what they will, but 'tis constitution governs us ail; and be assured, you will no more be able to bring me to endure a man of forty-nine, than you can persuade my lady to dance in church to the organ.

Sir J. Lamb. Why, you wicked wretch! could any thing persuade you to do that?

Charl. Lord, sir; I won't answer for what I might do, if the whim was in my head; besides, you know I always loved a little flirtation.

Sir J. Lamb. O horrible! flirtation! My poor sister has ruined her; leaving her fortune in her own hand, has turned her brain. In short, Charlotte, your senti

ments of life are shameful, and I am resolved upon your instant reformation; therefore, as an earnest of your obedience, I shall first insist that you never see young Darnley more; for, in one word, the good and pious Doctor Cantwell's the man that I have decreed for your husband.

Charl. Ho! ho! ho!

Sir J Lamb. 'Tis very well; this laugh you think becomes you, but I shall spoil your mirth-no moregive me a serious answer.

Charl. I ask your pardon, sir: I should not have smiled indeed, could I have supposed it possible that you were serious.

Sir J. Lamb. You'll find me so.

Charl. I'm sorry for it; but I have an objection to the Doctor, sir, that most fathers think a substantial one. Sir J. Lamb. Name it.

Charl. Why, sir, we know nothing of his fortune; he's not worth a groat.

Sir J. Lamb. That's more than you know, madam; I am able to give him a better estate than I am afraid you'll deserve.

Charl. How, sir!

Sir J Lamb. I have told you what s my will, and shall leave you to think on't.

Enter SEYWARD, L.

Seyn. Sir, if you are at leisure, the doctor desires to speak with you, upon business of importance.

Sir J. Lamb. I will come to him immediately. [Exit SEYWARD, L.] Daughter, I am called away, and therefore have only time to tell you, as my last resolution, Doctor Cantwell is your husband, or I'm no more your father. [Exit, L.

Charl. O madam! I am at my wits' end; not for the little fortune I may lose in disobeying my father, but it startles me to find what a dangerous influence this fellow has over all his actions.

Lady Lamb. Here's your brother.

Enter COLONEL LAMBERT, R.

Col. Lamb. Madam, your most obedient. Well, [Crosses to c.] sister, is the secret out? Who is this pretty fellow my father has picked up for you?

Charl. Even our agreeable doctor.

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Col. Lamb. You are not serious?

Lady Lamb. He's the very man, I can assure you, sir.

Col. Lamb. Confusion! what, would the cormorant devour the whole family? Your ladyship knows he is secretly in love with you too.

Lady Lamb. Fie, fie, colonel.

Col. Lamb. I ask your pardon, madam, if I speak too freely but I am sure, by what I have seen, your ladyship must suspect something of it.

Lady Lamb. I am sorry any body else has seen it: but I must own, his behaviour to me of late, both in private and before company, has been something warmer than I thought became him.

Col. Lamb. How are these opposites to be reconciled? Can the rascal have the assurance to think both points are to be carried?

Charl. Truly, one would not suspect the gentleman to be so termagant.

Col. Lamb. Especially while he pretends to be so shocked at all indecent amours. In the country he used to make the maids lock up the turkey-cocks every Saturday night, for fear they should gallant the hens on a Sunday.

So.

Lady Lamb. Oh! ridiculous!

Col. Lamb Upon my life, madam, my sister told me

Charl. I tell you so, you impudent

Lady Lamb. Fie, Charlotte; he only jests with you. Charl. How can you be such a monster to stay playing the fool here, when you have more reason to be frighted out of your wits? You don't know, perhaps, that my father declares he'll settle a fortune upon this fellow too.

Col. Lamb. What do you mean?

Lady Lamb. 'Tis too true; 'tis not three minutes since he said so.

Col. Lamb. Nay, then, it is time indeed his eyes were opened; and give me leave to say, madam, 'tis only in your power.

Lady Lamb. What is't you propose?

Col. Lamb. Why, if this fellow, which I'm sure of, is really in love with you, give him a fair opportunity to declare himself, and leave me to make my advantage of it.

Lady Lamb. I should be loth to do a wrong thing.

Charl. Dear madam, it is the only way in the world to expose him to my father.

Lady Lamb. I'll think of it.

Col. Lamb. Pray do, madam; but in the mean time I must leave you: poor Darnley stays for me at the Smyrna, and will sit upon thorns till I bring him an account of his new rival.

Charl. Well, well, get you gone then; here is my grandmother. [Exit COL. L.

Enter OLD LADY LAMBERT, L. Lady Lamb. This is kind, madam; I hope your ladyship's come to dine with us.

Old Lady Lamb. (L.) No; don't be afraid: only in my way from Tottenham Court, I just called to see whether any dreadful accident happened to the family since I was here last.

Lady Lamb. Accident! did your ladyship say?

Old Lady Lamb. I shall be sorry, daughter, but not surprised, when I hear it; for there are goings on under this roof, that will bring temporal punishments, along with them.

Lady Lamb. Indeed, madam, you astonish me!

Old Lady Lamb. We'll drop the subject; and I beg leave to address myself to you, Miss Charlotte; I see you [Crosses to c. and puts on her Spectacles]—you have a bit of lace upon your neck; I desire to know what you wear it for

Charl. (R.) Wear it for, madam, its the fashion.

Old Lady Lamb. In short, I have been at my linendraper's to-day, and have brought you some thick muslin, which I desire you will make handkerchiefs of; for I must tell you that slight covering is indecent, and gives much offence.

Lady Lamb. (L. c.) Indecent, did your ladyship say? Old Lady Lamb. Yes, daughter-in-law, Doctor Cantwell complains to me that he cannot sit at table, the sight of her bare neck disturbs him so; and he's a good man, and knows what indecency is.

Charl. Yes, indeed; I believe he does, better than any one in this house. But you may tell the doctor from me, madam, that he is an impudent coxcomb, a puppy, and deserves to have his bones broke.

Old Lady Lamb. Fie, Charlotte, fie! He speaks but for your good, and this is the grateful return you make. Charl. Grateful return, madam! How can you be

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