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lover ought to shock a woman of my temper-don't you know that I am a coquette ?
Col. Lumb. Are you? If you are, you are the first that ever was sincere enough to own her being so.
Charl. To a lover, I grant you ; but not to you; I make no more of you than a sister : I can say any thing to you. You are but a kind of an old woman.
Col. Lamb. I should have been better pleased if you had not owned it to me-its a hateful character.
Charl. Ay, its no matter for that, its violently pleasant, and there's no law against it, that I know of.
Col. Lamb. Darnley's like to have a hopeful time
Charl Well; but don't you really know who it is my father intends me?
Cot. Lamb. Not I, really; but I imagined you might, and therefore thought to advise with you about it.
Charl. Nay, he has not opened his lips to me yetare you sure he's gone out?
Col. Lamb. You are very impatient to know, methinks; what have you to do to concern yourself about any man but Darnley!
Charl. O lud! () lud ! Pr’ythee, brother, don't be so wise ; if you had an empty house to let, would you be displeased to hear there were two people about it? Besides, to be a little serious, Darnley has a tincture of jealousy in his temper, which nothing but a substantial rival can cure.
Col. Lamh, Oh, your servant, madam ! now you talk reason. [Shaking his head.] I am glad you are concerned enough for Darnley's faults, to think them worth your mending-ha! ha!
Charl. Concern'd! why, did I say that ?-look you, I'll deny it all to him--well, if I ever am serious with him again
Col. Lamb. Here he comes ; be as merry with him as you please." Chari. Psha ! [CHARLOTTE sits down, tukcs a book and reads.]
Enler DARNLEY, L. Durn. My dear colonel, your servant. Col. Lamb. I am glad you did not come sooner ; for in the humour my father left me, 'twould not have beer. a proper time for you to have pressed your affair-I touched upon't-but--I'll tell you more presently ; in the meantime lose no ground with my sister.
Darn. I shall always think myself obliged to your friendship, let my success be what it will. [Crosses to c.)-Madam, your most obedient-what have you got there, pray? Charl. (Reading.) “ Her 'lively looks a sprightly
mind disclose ; Quick as her eyes, and as unfix'd as those''Darn. [At the back of her chair.] Pray, madam, what is it?
Charl. “ Favours to none, to all she smiles extends."
Col. Lamb. Have a care: she has dipt into her own character, and she'll never forgive you, if you don't let her go through with it.
Darn. I beg your pardon, madam.
And like the sun they shine on all alike"-um-
Col. Lamb. Have a little patience: I'll tell you immediately. Charl. “ If to her share some female errors fall,
Look on her face-and you'll forget them all." Is not that natural, Mr. Darnley ?
Darn. For a woman to expect, it is indeed.
Charl. And can you blame her, when 'tis at the same time a proof of the poor man's passion, and her power ?
Darn. So that you think, the greatest compliment a lover can make his mistress, is to give up his reason to her.
Charl. (Rises.] Certainly ; for what have your lordly sex to boast of but your understanding, and till that's entirely surrendered to her discretion, while the least sentiment holds out against her, a woman must be downright vain to think her conquest completed.
Darn. There we differ, madam ; for, in my opinion, nothing but the most excessive vanity could value or desire such a conquest.
Charl. Oh, d'ye hear him, brother? the creature rea.. sons with me; nay, has the effrontery to think me in the wrong too ! O lud! he'd make an horrid tyrant [Look. ing in his face]-positively I won't have you.
Darn. Well; my comfort is, no other man will ea silv know whether you'll have him or not.
Charl. Am I not an horrid, vain, silly creature, Mr. Darnley ?
Darn. A little bordering upon the baby, I must own.
Charl. Lud! how can you love a body so then ? but I don't think you love we tho'-do you ?
Darn. Yes, 'faith, I do; and so shamefully, that I'm in hopes you doubt it. Come, now, that is very coarse.
Charl. Poor man! he'd fain bring me to reason.
Darn. I would, indeed. Nay, were it but possible to make you serious only when you should be so, I should think you the most amiable
Chari. O lud! he's civil
Darn. Come, come, be generous, and swear at least you'll never marry another.
Charl. Ah, lud! now you have spoiled all again :besides, how can I be sure of that, before I have seen this other man my brother spoke to me of!
Darn. What riddle's this?
Col. Lamb. I told you, you did not know all. To be serious, my father went out but now, on purpose to avoid you. In short, he absolutely retracts his promises; says he would not have you fool away your time after my sister ; and, in plain terms, told me, he had another man in his head for her.
Darn. Another man! who? what is he? did not he name him?
Col. Lamb. No; nor has he yet spoke of him to my sister.
Darn. This is unaccountable ! what can have given him this sudden turn
Col. Lamb. Some whim our conscientious Doctor has put in his head, I'll lay my life.
Darn. He! he can't be such a villain; he professes a friendship for me.
Col. Lamb. So much the worse.
Darn. But on what pretence, what grounds, what reason? what interest can he have to oppose me?
Col. Lamb. Are you really now as unconcerned as you seem to be ?
[Retiring up the Stage. Charl. You are a strange dunce, brother-you know no more of love than I do of a regiment-You shall see now how I'll comfort him-Poor Darnley, ha, ha, ha!
[Crosses to c. Darn. I don't wonder at your good humour, madam, when you have so substantial an opportunity to make me uneasy for life.
Charl. (c.) O lud! how sententious he is! well, his reproaches have that greatness of soul-the confusion they give is insupportable. Betty!--is the tea ready?
Enter BETTY, R. D.
[Exeunt CHARLOTTE singing and dancing, und
BETTY, R. D. Col. Lamb. [Coming forward.] So; you have made a fine piece of work on't, indeed.
Darn. (L. C.) Dear Tom, pardon me if I speak a little freely ; I own, the levity of her behaviour, at this time, gives me harder thoughts than I once believed it possible to have of her.
Col. Lamb. Indeed, my friend, you mistake her.
Darn. Nay, nay; had she any real concern for me, the apprehensions of a man's addresses, whom yet she never saw, must have alarmed her to some degree of seriousness.
Col. Lamb. Not at all; for let this man be whom he will, I take her levity as a proof of her resolution to have nothing to say to him.
Darn. And pray, sir, may I not as well suspect, that this artful delay of her good-nature to me now, is meant as a provisional defence against my reproaches, in case, when she has seen this man, she should think it convenient to prefer him.
Col. Lamb. No, po: she's giddy, but not capable of so studied a falsehood.
Darn. But still, what could she mean by going away so abruptly ?
Col. Lamb. You grew too grave for her.
Col. Lamb. No-if you could, the uneasiness would lie on her side.
Darn. Do you then really think she has any thing in her heart for me?
Col. Lamb. Ay, marry, sir-ah! if you could but get her to own that seriously now-Lord ! how you could love her!
Darn. And so I could, by heaven !
Col. Lamb. Well, well; I'll undertake for her ; il my father don't stand in the way, we are well enough. Darn. What says my lady? you don't think she's against us?
Col. Lamb. I dare say she is not. She's of so soft, so swee a disposition
Darn. Pr’ythee, how came so fine a woman to marry your father, with such a vast inequality of years ?
Col. Lamb. Want of fortune, Frank : she was poor and beautiful-he, rich and amorous-she made him happy, and he her
Darn. A lady
Col. Lamb. And a jointure-now she's the only one in the family, that has power with our precise Doctor ; and, I dare engage, she'll use it with him to persuade my father from any thing that is against your interest. By the way, you must know I have some shrewd suspicion, that this sanctified rogue is in love with her.
Darn. In love!
Col. Lamb. You shall judge by the symptoms- but hush !-here he comes with my grandmother-step this way, and I'll tell you.
[Exeunt, R. Enter Doctor CanTwell and Old Lady LAMBERT,
followed by SEYWARD, L. Dr. Cant. (L.) Charles, step into my study ; bring down a dozen more of those manuals of devotion, with the last hymn I composed ; and, when he calls, give them to Mr. Mawworm ; and, Charles, [calling] do you hear, if any one inquires for me, say I am gone to Newgate, and the Marshalsea, to distribute alms.
[Exit SeYWARD, L Old Lady Lamb. (R.) Well; but worthy doctor, why will you go to the prisons yourself-cannot you send the money ? ugly distempers are often catched there-have a care of your health ; let us keep one good man, at least, among us.
Dr. Cant. (L. c.) Alas, madam, I am not a good man; I am a guilty, wicked sinner, full of iniquity: the greatest villain that ever breathed; every instant of my life is clouded with stains ; it is one continued series of crimes and defilements; you do not know what I am capable of; you indeed take me for a good man; but the truth is, I am a worthless creature.
Old Lady Lamb. (R. C.) Have you then stumbled ? alas ! if it be so, who shall walk upright ! what horrid crime have you been hurried into, that calls for this severe self-recrimination ?