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My son, said the sage, go instantly to the city, and dispute upon the most engaging of all topicks, religion. But I know nothing of religion. No matter, declare that you could have formed the universe in three days fewer than it occupied the Almighty. Lament that you were not consulted at the creation, and demonstrate that the earth would revolve better on its axis if not flattened at the poles; prove that women have no souls. But if I can not, interrupted Mohamasim? Never heed; in all difficulties make wry faces, and look big; become more positive, the more you find yourself in errour; what you cannot prove, declare self evident; and speak louder, the weaker your argument. If your auditors do not comprehend you, say you cannot furnish them with understanding. That I may safely do, said Mohamasim. And remember that the most convincing of all arguments is to turn upon your heel. To turn upon my heel! oh! oh! then I will venture to assert, that I shall become the first of logicians; to turn upon my heel, delightful reasoning! Listen, continued the sage; assert that the sun is a body of ice; that Adam was seven hundred and forty nine feet high; that Lorenzo de Medici was a bastard; and that all animals can live without air, except camelions and poets. These rules are all I have to offer; and with the few every-day maxims which follow, uttered with the sententiousness of aphorisms and apophthegms, you will doubtless succeed.
Virtue consists in doing good, and refraining from evil; vice in doing evil, and refraining from good.
If there were no poverty, there were no wealth; since to be rich, is to possess what your neighbours do not,
There are no such things, either in nature, or in imagination, as square circles, or circular squares.
As water is not ice, ice cannot be water; yet gravy is gravy, congealed or uncongealed.
No man can be deceived by futurity, who does not intrust it.
He who loses his thumb, is still a man; then why not he who loses his head?
He who destroys himself to day, will scarcely behold the dawning of
And now, my son, as I have nothing to superadd, journey with so lemnity to the end of the chamber, and shake thine head. Shake my head! said Mohamasim, in amaze. Yes, shake thine head. But I cannot; I never could: for I was born with a stiff neck. What! attempt to be a philosopher, and unable to shake thine head! Dunce, blockhead, idiot, driveller! depart, begone, hence, away! and learn that no man can be a philosopher who cannot shake his head; 'tis at least three fourths of his wisdom.
Mohamasim went his way, but did not despond, for he was still determined to play the doctor. Had he been in England, his incapacity to shake his noddle would have been of serious inconvenience, even in that character; but matters are ordered otherwise in Turkey, where that profound species of gesticulation is entirely resigned to philosophers. Mohamasim once more trod the path to his cottage; and such was his alacrity and expedition, that though naturally beardless, cheerful in countenance, and rapid in delivery, he issued forth completely devested of himself; and, ere the lapse of an hour, was seen standing at the gates of the palace with all the exteriors of a Persian doctor.
It happened to our hero, as it almost ever happens to short sighted humanity, that he owed his success to his imbecility. Had he disguised himself better, he had defeated his own schemes; since, according to the custom of the country, he would have undergone examination by the most learned of the nation. Happily, this practice, so pregnant with mischief to his plans, was escaped by the vizier's recognising him the mo
ment he entered. The sultan, who minutely descriptive in his remarks; possessed more of the vis comica on this sofa he had toyed, hour after than is usual with sultans, no sooner · hour, with a favourite sultana, and understood the business, than he de. on that chewed opiates · by the termined to humour the deception. pound; this was the portrait of an He entered, and ordering all but the ancestor who wore a rose-coloured vizier to withdraw, with inimitable turban, and that of an ancestor gravity began to examine the assi- who did not wear a rose-coloured nego himself
. Bravo! thought Mo- turban. The poor fellow waxed fuhamasim, the sultan knows no more rious with vexation and impatience; of the materia medica than-than- I wish, thought he, every one of than I. Had he studied for a year, your ancestors were cast into the he coulil have determined upon no rose-coloured sea. comparison better illustrative of me- After a perambulation of an hour, dical ignorance.
they reached an extensive saloon, My vizier, said the sultan, has a where the sultan seated himself kinsman afficted with the epilepsy. upon the carpet in that position Give him fenugreek and lillies. An which our tailors are so fond of apeuncle, added the sultan, suffers un- ing, and exclaimed, prepare for the der a violent phlegmon of Give physician! Upon the instant, to the him lillies and fenugreek, Again! unutterable astonishment of Mohacried the sultan; why what is more masim, innumerable hands and arms opposite to the epilepsy than a were projected through the tapestry phlegmon? True, replied the ass. from the adjacent chamber. This, driver, with infinite vivacity; and said the sultan, is the custom of the pray, sire, what is more opposite to Turks; from the appearance of the fenugreek and lillies, than lillies and arm, and the beating of the pulse, fenugreek? The sultan smiled, and ascertain their complaints, and adthe vizier, less delicate in his mirth, minister; I leave you to your obsercrowed aloud with laughter.
vations; but remember to respect our For a multitude of complaints re- laws. medies were proposed by Mohama- Recovered from his wonder, Mosim with equal facility. At length hamasim inquired for the princess, the sultan pronounced the name of but obtained no reply. What, said the princess. I am glad, said the he, are ye women, and cannot speak? doctor, she is unwell; that is, be- A pair of arms were gently waved cause I am glad I mean, I am to and fro; alas ! said he, shrewd and sorry that I shall have the honour discerning as I am, I can neither of curing one-so cherished by your remove phlegmons nor epilepsies people, which will give me mighty by regarding a pair of 'withered satisfaction. You appear to be so
elbows. Oh love! love ! sighed a confused between joy and sorrow, voice. Of all complaints, said the that you know not what you say; but, doctor, that has least to do with the come, follow nie. His heart beating elbows. Art thou a man, said the turbulently with expectation, Moha- voice? I believe so, replied the docmasim, accompanied by the sultan, tor. Return thee hither at night,
, paced an extensive suite of chambers, then, and be happy. Though a pair embellished with admirable paint- of arms, aged, withered, and diseasings, superb tapestry, and couches ed, was no very inviting entrance to covered with cloth of gold; all which happiness, Mohamasim bowed with Mohamasim, with great apathy, feigned ecstacy, and embraced them; wished at the devil, for retarding his he had little inclination to the inprogress. The sultan observing his trigue, but he hoped it might lead impetuosity, sported with it; he was to an interview with the princess; and then, said he, who knows what blesome than the light, could not may happen. I have no wife, and refrain his laughter. Now, said he, owe not a farthing to chick or child. has this master of the earth, this
He now retrod the galleries, turn- wisest of mankind, taken into his ing a deaf ear to the supplications silly head that I have kissed the of his patients; do not die to night, princess; well, since my shoulders said he, laughing, for I shall see are secure, of what consequence is a your elbowships to morrow. In the few basins of boiled lillies ? thank midst of this pretty speech he was heaven I am not incarcerated with rather surprised to feel himself rude- that amorous old beldam of withered ly seized by a set of infernal looking excellence. fellows, with squeaking voices, who, He had not been an hour connotwithstanding his tears and en- fined, ere, with tiresome punctuality, treaties, bore him away to the sul- the promised beverage was handed tan. Mohamasim, said the comman- to him in all the mockery of splender of the Faithful, since you have dour. Determined to rid himself of contrived to kiss the princess, I the nauseating task, by performing remit the punishment of the whip; it without delay, he was raising it to but, for having attempted to impose his lips, when his progress was reupon me, the master of the earth, tarded by a voice, which he recogthe wisest of mankind, I doom thee nised for his friend the sultan's, exto imprisonment till the moon claiming: “ Happy the being, who, change; nevertheless, care shall be like Mohamasim the ass driver, taken that you not only live, but live drinks physick from a golden saick, luxuriously. I command, said he, and rapturously kisses the elbows, turning to his slaves, that Mahoma- aged, withered, and diseased, of that sim be plentifully supplied with food, amorous old beldam, the princess and that it be daily changed, lest it Roxalinda!” pall upon the appetite, from fenu- “ The princess Roxalinda ?" echogreek and lillies, to lillies and fenu. ed Mohamasim; “ holy prophet, who greek; hurry him away.
ever dreamed of a princess being old Mohamasim, though immured in and ugly!" a cell, where nothing was less trou
FROM THE LITERARY PANORAMA.
FEMALE HEROISM, AS EVINCED DURING THE REIGN OF TERROUR OF
THE FRENCH REVOLUTION. IN reviewing Mrs. Bristow's It is impossible to reflect, without translation of Mons. Legouvé's poem emotion and gratitude, on the courala Mérite des Femmes, we express- geous affection and indefatigable ed our surprise at her not inserting perseverance, which were displayed those authentick anecdotes, which by the female sex under the reign of that author had collected and added terrour, towards their proscribed to his notes.-We then promised to husbands, relations, or friends. supply her omission; we now enter First, they petitioned the convention on the fulfilment of our promise; in their behalf, to the number of they will form an interesting sequel 1500 or 1600. Afterwards, in all the to the curious narratives which we towns where incarcerations and collected in our first volume, in proof murders took place, they braved of the celebrated prophecy found every danger, made every entreaty, after M. de la Harpe's death, among submitted to every sacrifice, to save, his papers.
or at least to see, and to comfort, the
objects of their affection; and more she glories in having exposed her than once, when they could neither own life to save his." When threat. obtain their liberty nor protect them, ened with immediate death, if she they willingly shared their captivity does not disclose the road he has taand death. I should be very happy ken, her answer is: “Strike wheneto pay a tribute to each of those he- ver you like, I am ready.” She is roines, in recording her name and told that “the good of the country the instance of her magnanimity; requires she should give informabut how could I collect accounts of tion,” she exclaims: “The country actions so innumerable? I have, does not command nature to be outhowever, gathered some: they will raged.” be sufficient to attest the truth of Paris, as well as the departments, my verses, while they witness the exhibited wonderful instances of kindness of those consoling angels, connubial affection. who, in days of crime, imitated Pro- Madame Lavalette, a prisoner in vidence itself.
La Bourbe,* with her husband, learns Madame Lefort, in one of the that he is about to appear before the western departments, trembling for tribunal; she runs to him, clasps him the life of her husband, then impri- by the neck and legs, and entreats soned as a conspirator, bought a the gaol keeper to let her go with permission to see him. At dark, she him. This dire favour was denied flies to him with a double dress; her. she prevails on him to change ap- Madame Davaux obtained it. Her parel, to go out in this disguise, and husband, formerly lieutenant general to leave her there. On the next day in the presidial of Riom, had been. it is discovered that his wife has ta. arrested in that town, and ordered ken his place. The representative to be carried to the Conciergerie; addresses her in a menacing tone, he was overwhelmed with age and “ wretch, what have you done?”- infirmities. Madame Davaux, aware “ My duty,” says she, “ do yours.” of the fate prepared for him, resolve
The same stratagem was employ- ed to share the bloody sacrifice. No ed at Lyons, when that valiant city, warrant had been issued against her; reduced to submit to her conquere and not being confined, she jumped ors, became the theatre of the most
in which the pribarbarous executions. One of the soners of the departments were car. inhabitants is marked for imprison- ried to Paris. On their arrival, she ment; his wife is apprised of it; she was imprisoned with them, and died hastens to warn him, gives him all five months after on the scaffold, hy her money and jewels, forces him to the side of her husband, while she escape, and puts on the dress of this
was embracing him. threatened husband. The execution- Madame Lavergne, the wife of
to demand him: his wife the commander in Longwy, raised dressed like him makes her appear. her voice in his favour, before the ance, and is conducted to the com- revolutionary tribunal, when he was mittee. The deceit being soon dis- examined respecting the surrender covered, she is examined respect of that town. Fruitless exertion ! ing her husband; she answers, that his sentence was pronounced in her * she has obliged him to fly; and that presence. She then abandoned her
* La Bourbe, la Conciergerie, le Plessis, le Luxembourg, l'Abbaye, Sevres, Port Libre, were houses of arrestation, or prisons in Paris.
Extract from the book entitled La Philosophie du Bonheur, of Cit. Delille Desalle, author of la Philosophie de la Nature.
self to despair. To be immolated, it him into the bloody cart. The exewas sufficient to exclaim « Vive le cutioner tells her she is not conRoi !" she made it resound through demned: “Since my husband is conthe hall. In vain were the judges demned:” says she, “I am also." willing to consider her as insane; Without uttering another word, she she persisted in repeating the ex- was executed with her husband.* clamation, till she obtained her wish If, in those horrid days, Hymen and was condemned.
made every exertion in behalf of Madame Roland, the minister's the unfortunate, it may be well conwife, pleaded his cause, at the bar of ceived that Love, more impetuous, the convention, with as much for- did not yield to him. titude as eloquence. When arrested The mistress of citizen Causs', a and unable to assist him, she be- merchant in Toulouse, gave an inqueathed an example of intrepidity stance of this. in death, in the calm with which she The revolutionary commission of went to the scaffold.
that town had condemned him; it Some unfortunate persons were
was dark when his sentence was brought to Paris, and put in the pronounced; therefore the execution Plessis, to be tried. One of them was delayed till the next day. His had a young and beautiful wife, who mistress having heard of the delay, had not quitted him. While she was resolved to take advantage of it to walking in the yard, with the other deliver him from the hands of the prisoners, her husband was called to executioners. There was an uninthe door of the prison. Anticipating habited house adjoining the place this as the signal for his death, she where he was to spend the night. endeavours to follow him; the jailer She, who, during his trial, had sold objects to it; but strengthened by all her property, to procure money * her misery, she breaks through every to lavish in his behalf, immediately thing, runs into the arms of her purchases that house. Thither she husband, and clasps him, to enjoy at runs with a trusty chambermaid. least the direful comfort of sharing They perforate the wall adjoining his fate. The guards separate them. the prison, and make an opening in « Barbarians,” said she, “ still I will it large enough for the escape of the die;" instantly she flies to the iron captive whom they wish to release; door of the prison, violently strikes but the neighbourhood being crowdher head against it, and falls expiring ed with guards, how can their dison the spot.
covery of him be prevented ? A miMarshal de Mouchy was carried litary disguise, which this cautious to the Luxembourg. No sooner was friend has brought with her, conhe there, than his wife comes in. ceals his escape. Dressed herself as They observe to her that the war. à gend'armes, she leads him on
rant does not mention her; her an- through the sentries. They went swer is: “ Since my husband is im. thus through the town without being prisoned, I am also a prisoner." He recognised, and passed by the very is brought before the revolutionary place where the instrument was pretribunal; she accompanies him. The paring which was to cut off a head, publick accuser observes that she that Love contrived in this manner has not been subpænaed; her answer to preserve. is: “ Since my husband is summoned Love rescued also a young man of here, I must come also.” He is at Bourdeaux, who had been thrown last sentenced to die; she steps with into one of the prisons of that town.
* This venerable Duke, the Marshal de Mouchy, was upwards of severy years of age; his lady was nearly as old.Editor,