ACT I.

SCENE 1-A Hall in the Castle.

Enter MR. FRANK.

Frank. To what humiliation has my bad fortune reduced me, when it brings me here an humble suppliant to my base oppressor!

CLOWN.
SERVANT.

of time I've lost with that beggar! [Reads. Sir,-This is to inform you that my lord Lackwit died - an heir to his estate his lordship never acknowledged her as his wife-son called Robin Roughead - Robin is the legal heir to the estate-to put him in immediate possession, according to his lordship's last will and testament. Yours to command, KIT CODICIL, Atty at Law. Snacks. A letter for me by express! What Here's a catastrophe! Robin Roughead a lord! can it be about? Something of great con- My stewardship has done pretty well for me sequence from my lord, I suppose. -Frank already, but I think I shall make it do better here! What the devil does he want?-Come now. I know this Robin very well; he's dea begging though, I dare say. vilish cunning, I'm afraid; but I'll tickle him.

Enter SNACKS, speaking.

Frank. Good morning to you, Mr. Snacks. He shall marry my daughter-then I can do
Snacks. Good morning.
[Coldly. as I please. To be sure, I have given my
Frank. I'm come, sir, to

come to

-I say, sir, I'm promise to Rattle; but what of that? he hasn't got it under my hand. I think I had better Snacks. Well, sir, I see you are come; tell Robin this news at once; it will make and what then? What are you come for, sir? him mad-and then I shall do as I please with Frank. The termination of the lawsuit which him. Ay, ay, I'll go. How unfortunate that you have so long carried on against me, owing I did not make friends with him before! He to my entire inability to prosecute it any has no great reason to like me; I never gave further, has thrown me into difficulties which him any thing but hat words.-[Rattle sings I cannot surmount without your kind as-without] Confound it! here's that fellow Rattle sistance. coming.

Snacks. Very pretty, indeed! You are a very modest man, Mr. Frank; you've spent your last shilling in quarrelling with me, and now you want me to help you.

Frank. The farm called Hundred Acres is at present untenanted-I wish to rent it. Snacks. You wish to rent it, do you? And pray, sir, where's your money? And what do you know about farming?

Snacks. I wish you had the mumps, and could not speak. What do you old daddy me for?

Rat. Why, father-in-law! curse me but you Frank. I have studied agriculture; and, are most conceitedly crusty to-day; What's with care, have no doubt of being able to the matter with you? why, you are as mepay my rent regularly. lancholy as a lame duck.

Snacks. But I have a great doubt about it.-No, no, sir; do you think I'm so unmindful of his lordship's interest as to let his land to a poor novice like you? It won't do, Mr. Frank; I can't think of it-Good day, friend; good day. [Showing him the Door.

Frank. My necessities, sirSnacks. I have nothing to do with your necessities, sir; I have other business-Good day-There's the door.

Frank. Unfeeling wretch!

Snacks. What!

Frank. But what could I expect? Think

Snacks. The matter is that I am sick.
Rat. What's your disorder?

Snacks. A surfeit: I've had too much of you. Rat. Oh! you'll soon get the better of that; for when I've married your daughter, curse me if I shall trouble you much with my company!

Snacks. But you hav'n't married her yet. Rat. Oh, but I shall soon; I have got your promise, you know,

Snacks. Can't remember any such thing.
Rat. No! Your memory's very short then.
Snacks. A short memory's very convenient

not, thou sordid man, 'tis for myself I sue-sometimes. My wife, my children'tis for them I ask Rat. And so is a short stick; and I've a your aid, or else my pride had never stoop'd great mind to try the utility of it now. I tell so low: my honest poverty is no disgrace: you what, Snacks-I always thought you was your ill-gotten gold gives you no advantage a damn'd old rascal, but now I'm sure of it: over me; for I had rather feel my heart beat it's no matter, though: I'll marry your daughter freely, as it does now, than know that I posnotwithstanding. sess'd your wealth, and load it with the crimes entail'd upon it. [Exit.

Snacks. You will-will you?

Rat. Yes, snacks, I will; for I love her. I Snacks. A mighty fine speech, truly! I think wonder how the devil such a pretty girl ever I'll try if I can't lower your tone a little, my came to have such a queer, little, shrivelled, fine, blustering fellow: I'll have you laid by old mopstick as you for a father. Snacks, the heels before night for this. Proud as you your wife most certainly made a cuckold of are, you'll have time to reflect in a jail, and you; it could not be else. bring down your spirit a little. But, come, let me see what my letter says. What a deal

Snacks. Impudent rascal!
Rat. But it signifies not who her father is›

miss Nancy is lovely, and I'll marry her. Let as work; it should be one long holiday all me see-five thousand pounds you promised; the year round. Your great folks have strange yes, you shall give her that on the wedding-whims in their heads, that's for sartin. I don't day. You have been a steward a long time; know what to make of 'un, not I. Now there's that sum must be a mere fleabite to you. all yon great park there, kept for his lordSnacks. I rather think I shall never give ship to look at, and his lordship hat not seen her a farthing, if she marries such a paltry it these twelve years-Ah! if it was mine, I'd fellow as you. let all the villagers turn their cows in there, Rat. Why lookye; I'm a lively spark, with and it should not cost 'em a farthing; then, a good deal of fire in me, and it is not a as the parson said last Sunday, I should be little matter that will put me out: where others as rich as any in the land, for I should have sink I rise: and this opposition of yours will the blessings of the poor. Dang it! here comes only serve to blow me into a blaze that will Snacks. Now I shall get a fine jobation, I burn you up to a cinder. I'm up to your suppose. gossip; I'm not to be had.

Snacks. No, nor my daughter's not to be had, Mr. Banker's Clerk; so I shan't waste any more time with you: go, and take in the flats in Lombard-street; it won't do here.

Enter SNACKS, bowing very obsequiously; ROBIN takes his Hat off, and stands staring at him.

Rob. I be main tir'd, master Snacks; so I [Exit. stopt to rest myself a little; I hope you'll exRat. Oh! what he has mizzled, has he? 1cuse it. I wonder what the dickens he's fancy you'll find me the most troublesome grinning at. [Aside. blade you ever settled an account with, old Snacks. Excuse it! I hope your lordship's Raise-rent. ' astonish you, some how or infinite goodness and condescension will exother. I wonder what has changed him so! cuse your lordship's most obsequious, devoted,

Enter Miss NANCY.

Ah, my sweet, little, rural angel! How fares it with you? You smile like a May morning. Nan. The pleasure of seeing you always

makes me

a

Rat. Indeed! give me a kiss then. I love you well enough to marry you without farthing; but I think I may as well have the five thousand pounds, if it's only to tease old Longpurse.

Nan. Oh, you know you have his promise for that.

Rat. Yes, but he says he has forgot all about that, though it was no longer ago than yesterday; and he says I shan't have you. Nan. Does he indeed?

Rat. Yes; but never mind that.

Nan. I thought you said you loved me? Rat. And so I do, better than all the gold in Lombard-street.

Nan: Then why are you not sorry that my father won't give his consent?

and very humble servant Timothy Snacks, who is come into the presence of your lordship, for the purpose of informing your lordship

Rob. Lordship! he, he, he! Ecod! I never knew as I had a hump before. Why, master Snacks, you grow funny in your old age.

Snacks. No, my lord, I know my duty better; I should never think of being funny with a lord.

Rob. What lord? Oh, you mean the lord Harry, I suppose. No, no, must not be too funny with him, or he'll be after playing the very devil with you.

Snacks. I say I should never think of jesting with a person of your lordship's dignified

character.

Rob. Did-dig-What! Why, now I look at you, I see how it is: you are mad. I wonder what quarter the moon's in. Lord! how your eyes roll! I never saw you so before.-How came they to let you out alone? Snacks Your lordship is most graciously pleased to be facetious.

Rat. His consent! I have got yours and my own, and I'll soon manage him. Don't you Rob. Why, what gammon are you at; — remember how I frighten'd him one night, Don't come near me, for you have been bit when I came to visit you by stealth, drest like by a mad dog; I'm sure you have. a ghost, which he thinks haunts the castle. Snacks. If your lordship will be so kind Oh! P turn that to account. I know he's as to read this letter, it would convince your very superstitious, and easily frightened into lordship-Will your lordship condescend? any thing. Come, let's take a walk, and plot Rob. Why, I would condescend, but for a how I, your knight-errant, shall deliver you few reasons, and one of 'em is, that I can't from this haunted castle. [Exeunt. read.

SCENE II.-A Corn-field.

ROBIN ROUGHEAD discovered binding up a

Sheaf.

Snacks. I think your lordship is perfectly right; for these pursuits are too low for one of your lordship's nobility.

Rob. Lordship, and lordship again! I'll tell you what, master Snacks-let's have no more Rob. Ah! work, work, work all day long, of your fun, for I won't stand it any longer, and no such thing as stopping a moment to for all you be steward here: my name's Robin rest! for there's old Snacks the steward, al-Roughead, and if you don't choose to call me ways upon the look-out; and if he sees one, by that name, I shan't answer you, that's slap he has it down in his book, and then flat. [Aside] I don't like him well enough there's sixpence gone plump. [Comes forward] to stand his jokes.

I do hate that old chap, and that's the truth Snacks. Why then, master Robin, be so on't. Now, if I was lord of this place, I'd kind as to attend whilst I read this letter. make one cule--there should be no such thing

Reads.

893 Sir, This is to inform you, that my tell him- No, I'll not go there; I'll go to lord Lackwit died this morning, after a Damn it, I'll go no where; yes, I will; I'll very short illness; during which he declared go every where; I'll be neither here, nor that he had been married, and had an there, nor any where else. How pleas'd Dolly heir to his estate: the woman he married will be when she hearswas commonly called, or known, by the name of Roughead: she was poor and il

Enter Villagers, shouting.

literate, und, through motives of shame, Dick, Tom, Jack, how are you, my lads?— his lordship never acknowledged her as his Here's news for you! Come, stand round, wife: she has been dead some time since, make a ring, and I'll make a bit of a speech and left behind her a son called Robin to you. [They all get round him] First of Roughead: now this said Robin is the legal all, I suppose Snacks has told you that I'm heir to the estate. I have therefore sent your landlord.

you the necessary writings to put him into Vil. We are all glad of it. immediate possession, according to his tord

Rob. So am I; and I'll make you all happy:

ship's last will and testament. Yours to I'll lower all your rents.

command, KIT CODICIL, Atty at Law.

Rob. What!-What all mine? the houses, the trees, the fields, the hedges, the ditches, the gates, the horses, the dogs, the cats, the

All. Huzza! long live lord Robin!

Rob. You shan't pay no rent at all. All. Huzza! huzza! long live lord Robin! Rob. I'll have no poor people in the parish, cocks and the hens, and the cows and the for I'll make 'em all rich; I'll have no widows, bulls, and the pigs and the-What! are they for I'll marry 'em all. [Women shout] I'll all mine? and I, Robin Roughead, am the have no orphan children, for I'll father 'em rightful lord of all this estatel-Don't keep me all myself; and if that's not doing as a lord a minute now, but tell me it is so-Make should do, then I say I know nothing about baste, tell me quick, quick! the matter-that's all."

All. Huzza! Huzza!

Enter SNACKS.

Snacks. I repeat it, the whole estate is yours. Rob. Huzza! huzza! [Catches off Snacks' Hat and Wig] Set the bells a ringing; set Snacks. I have brought your lordship the the ale a running; make every body drunk-money. He means to make 'em fly, so I've if there's a sober man to be found any where taken care the guineas shall be all light. [Aside. to-day, he shall be put in the stocks. Go, get Rob. Now then, young and old, great and my hat full of guineas to make a scramble small, little and tall, merry men all, here's with; call all the tenants together. I'll lower among you [Throws the Money; they the rents-I'II— scramble] Now you've got your pockets fill'd, come to the castle, and I'll fill all your bellies for you.

Snacks. I hope your lordship will do me

the favour to

Rob. Why, that may be as it happens; I can't tell. [Carelessly. Snacks. Will your lordship dine at the castle to-day?

Rob. Yes.

Snacks. What would your lordship choose for dinner?

[Villagers carry him off shouting; Snacks follows.

SCENE III.-Inside of a neat Cottage; Table spread for Dinner.

MARGERY and DOLLY discovered. Dolly. There, now, dinner's all ready, and

Rob. Beef-steaks and onions, and plenty I wish Robin would come. Do you think I

of 'em.

Snacks. Beef-steaks and onions! What a dish for a lord! He'll be a savoury bit for my daughter, though.

[Aside.

may take up the dumplings, mother?
Mar. Ay, ay, take 'em up; I warrant him
he'll soon be here - he's always in pudding-
time.

Rob. What are you at there, Snacks? Go, Dol. And well he may, for I'm sure you get me the guineas-make haste; I'll have the keep him sharp set enough. scramble, and then I'll go to Dolly, and tell Mar. Hold your tongue, you baggage! He her the news. pays me but five shillings a week for board, Snacks. Dolly! Pray, my lord, who's Dolly? lodging, and washing-I suppose he's not to Rob. Why, Dolly is to be my lady, and be kept like a lord for that, is he? I wonder your mistress, if I find you honest enough to how you'll keep him when you get married, keep you in my employ. as you talk of!

Snacks. He rather smokes me.-I have a beauteous daughter, who is allow'd to be the very pink of perfection.

Rob. Damn your daughter! I have got something else to think of: don't talk to me of your daughter; stir your stumps, and get

Dol. Oh, we shall contrive to make both ends meet! and we shall do very well I dare say; for Robin loves me, and I loves Robin dearly.

Mar. Yes; but all your love won't keep the pot boiling, and Robin's as poor as Job. the money. Dol. La, now, mother, don't be so cross!-Snacks. I am your lordship's most obse- Oh dear, the dinner will get cold, and the quious - Zounds! what a peer of the realm. dumplings will be quite spoil'd; I wish Robin [Aside. Exit would come. [Robin sings without] Oh, here Rob. Ha! ha! ha! What work I will make he comes, in one of his merry humours, in the village!--Work! no, there shall be no such thing as work; it shall be all play. Where shall I go? I'll go to No, I won't

Enter ROBIN; he cools himself with his Hat, then sings and dances.

go there; I'll go to Farmer Hedgestake's, and Why, Robin, what's the matter with you?

Rob. What! you hav'n't heard then? Oh, I'm glad of that! for I shall have the fun of telling you.

Dol. Well, sit down then, and eat your dinner; I have made you some nice hard dumplings.

Rob. Dumplings! Damn dumplings.

Dol. Damn dumplings--La, mother, he damns dumplings.-Ob, what a shame! Do you know what you are saying, Robin?

Rob. Never talk to me of dumplings. Mar. But I'll talk of dumplings though indeed. I shouldn't have thought of such be-| haviour: dumplings are very wholesome food, quite good enough for you, I'm sure.

[Very angry. Rob. Are they, mother Margery? [Upsets the Table, and dances on the Plates, etc. and sings] Tol de rol lol.

Rob. It's all true, Dolly, as sure as the devil's in Lunnun.

Dol. What! are you in right down arnest? Rob. Yes, I am - - his lordship's dead, and he has left word as how that my mother was his wife, and I his son.

Dol. What!

Rob. Yes, Dolly, and you shall be my lady.
Dol. No! Shall I?

Rob. Yes, you shall.

Dol. Ecod, that will be fine fun-my lady-
Rob. Now, what do you think_on't?
Dol. My lady-Lady Roughead-
Rob. Why, Dolly!

Dol. Lady Roughead! How it sounds!
Ha! ha! ha!
[Laughs immoderately.
Rob. 'Gad, I believe she's going into a high
strike-Dolly! Dolly! [Slapping her Hands.
Dol. Ha! ha! ha!

Mar. Oh dear! the boy's mad; there's all my crockery gone! [Picking up the Pieces. it. Dol. [Crying] I did not think you could have us'd us so; I'm quite asham'd of you, to

Robin!

Rob. Doan'tye laugh so; I don't half like [Shakes her] Dolly!

Dol. Ob, my dear Robin, I can't help laughing think of lady Roughead.

Rob. The wench will go beside herself to

Rob. Now doan'tye cry now, Dolly; doan't-a sartainty.

ye cry.

Dol. I will cry, for you behave very ill. Rob. No, doan'tye, Dolly, doan'tye, now. [Shows a Purse. Dol. How did you come by that, Robin? Mar. What, a purse of gold? let me see.[Snatches it, and sits down to count the Money.

Dol. But now is it true in arnest?

Rob. Ay, as sure as you are there. But come, what shall we do? where shall we go? Oh! we'll go and see old mother Dickens; you know she took my part, and was very kind to me when poor mother died; aud now she's very ill, and I'll go and give her something to comfort her old soul. Lord! Lord! Dol. What have you been about, Robin? I have heard people say as riches won't make Rob. No, I have not been about robbing; a body happy; but while it gives me the I have been about being made a lord of, power of doing so much good, I'm sure I shall that's all. be the happiest dog alive.

Dol. What are you talking about? Your head's turn'd, I'm sure.

Rob. Well, I know it's turn'd; it's turn'd from a clown's head to a lord's. I say, Dolly, how should you like to live in that nice place at the top o'the hill, yonder?

Dol. Oh, I should like it very much, Robin; it's a nice coltage.

Rob. Doan't talk to me of cottages, I mean the castle!

Dol. Why, what is your head running upon?

Mar. Every one golden guineas, as I'm a vartuous woman. Where did you get 'em,

Robin?

.

AGT II.

Exeunt.

SCENE I.-The Road to the Castle.

Enter MR. FRANK.

Frank. Well, then, to the house of woe I must return again. And can I take no comfort with me? nothing to cheer my loving wife and helpless children? What misery to see them want!

Enter ROBIN, unobserved by Frank. Rob. Want! No, there shall be no such thing as want where I am-Who talks of want?

Frank. My own distress I could bear well, very well; but to see my helpless innocents enduring all the woes poverty brings with it, [Exit. is more than I can bear.

Rob. Why, where there's more to be had. Mar. Ay, I always said Robin was a clever lad. I'll go and put these by.

Dol. Now, do tell me what you've been about. Where did you find all that money? Rob. Dolly, Dolly, gee'us a buss, and I'll tell thee all about it.

Dol. Twenty, an' you pleasen, Robin.
Rob. First then, you must know that I'm
the cleverest fellow in all these parts.
Dol. Well, I know'd that afore.

Rob. And more than I can bear too. [Throws his Hat upon the Ground, and takes Money out of his Pocket, which he throws into it. Frank. To-day I almost fear they have not tasted food.

Rob. And I ha' been stuffing my damn'd guts enough to make 'em burst.

Rob. But I'll tell you how it is-it's because [Drops more Money into his Hat. I'm the richest fellow in all these parts; and Frank. How happy once my state! Where'er if I hav'n't it here, I have it here [Pointing I turned my eyes good fortune smiled upon to his Head and his Pocket] That castle's me; then, did the poor e'er tell a tale of woe mine, and all these fields, up to the very sky. without relief? Were not my doors open to Dol. No, no; come, Robin, that won't do. the unfortunate?

Rob. Won't it?—I think it will do very well. Rob. How glad I be as I be-a lord. Hey, Dol. No, no; you are running your rigs-what! Yes it is; it's Mr. Frank, Lord, sir, I know you are, Robin. I'm very glad as I met with you.

Rob. What reason have I? Why, you gave me when I wanted it.

Frank. I can't remember.

Frank. I have a long way to walk, and it will be very late before I can return; but I will refuse you nothing.

Rob. Thank ye, sir; you're very kind! I shall stay till you come, if it's all night. [Exeunt. Enter RATTLE.

Rob. Mayhap not; but that's no reason as I should forget it; it's a long time ago, too; but it made such a mark here, that time won't Rat. Well, every thing's prepar'd for my rub it out. It's now fourteen years sin poor attack on the castle to-night; and I don't much mother died; she was very ill one day when fear but I shall find means to terrify the enemy, you happen'd to come by our cottage, and and make him surrender at discretion - Yes, saw me stand blubbering at the door; I was yes, master Snacks, I shall soon be with you. then about this high. You took me by the [Shouting, Music, and ringing of Bells hand; and I shall never forget the look you without What a damn'd racket here is in gave me, when you ax'd me what was the the village to-day!-I wonder what it's all matter with me; and when I told you, you about? call'd me a good lad, and went in and talk'd

to mother. From that time you came to see

Enter ROBIN.

her ev'ry day, and gave her all the help as Holloa, there! Stop, my fine fellow. Pray can you could; and when she died, poor soul! you tell me what all this uproar is about in you buried her: and if ever I forget such the village?

kindness, I hope good luck will for ever Rob. Why, you be master Rattle from forget me!

Frank. Tell me your name: it will remind me.

Lunnun.

Rob. Robin Roughead, your honour; to-a day I be come to be lord of all this estate; and the first good I find of it is, that I am

Rat. Well, I don't want to be told that. Rob. Gee us your hand, Rattle; thou bee'st damn'd honest fellow, and I like thee; I do indeed. Rat. Very familiar, upon my word.

able to make you happy-[Stuffing the Money Rob. I lik'd you ever sin you let old Toppin into his Pockets] Come up to the castle, have the three pounds to pay his rent with; and I'll give you as much money as you can and now whilst I think on't, here 'tis againcarry away in a-sack. take it, for I won't let any body give away

Frank. Proud wealth, look here for an money here but myself. example! My generous heart, how shall I Rat. Why, what in the name of wonder thank you? is all this? What are you at? I think I'l Rob. Lord! Lord! doan't think of thanking open a shop here for the sale of bad debts. a man for paying his debts. Besides, if you Rob. Here, take the money. only know'd how I feel all o'er me — kind of a-I could cry for joy. Frank. What sympathy is in that honest bosom! But how has this good fortune come to you?

it's al

Rob. Why, that poor woman as you buried was wife to his lordship: he has own'd it on his death bed, and left word as I'm his son. Frank. How strange are the vicissitudes of life!

Rat. Put it up, my fine fellow! you'll want it, perhaps.

Rob. Me want money! Shall I lend you an odd thousand, and set you up in a shop? Rat. Why, who the devil are you?

Rob. Why, doan't ye know? I be Robin. Rat. Robin, are you? 'Egad, I think you sing like a goldfinch.

Rob. Very well, Rattle, that's a good joke. Rat. Why, curse me if I am up to you, Rob. Now, sir, I am but a simple lad, as master Robin; you are queering me, I believe. a body may say; and if you will but be so Rob. Well, I shall be glad to see thee at good as to help me with your advice, I shall take it very kind of you, sir.

the castle, Rattle. You see, I'm not asham'd of my old acquaintance, as some folks are. Rat. Not asham'd of his old acquaintance! Rob. I can't stop to talk to you any longer Rob. Thank ye, sir, thank ye! But pray Good by, Rattle; thou bee'st an honest what bad luck made you so devilish poor? fellow, and I shall be glad to see thee at the Frank. It would take a long time to tell castle. you the story of my misfortunes; but I owe [Exit. Rat. I declare I'm quite dumb-founder'd.them to the oppression of Mr. Snacks, the And have I liv'd all my days in Lombardsteward. street for this to be humbug'd by a clown? Rob. Suacks! Oh, damn' un! I'll do for him [Laughing, Music, ringing of Bells, etc. soon: he's rotten here, master Frank: I do without] I believe the people are all mad tothink as how he's a damn'd old rogue. day; I can't think what they are at. Frank. Judge not too harshly.

Frank. I thank you for the good opinion you have of me; and as far as my poor abi-Why, what do you mean? fities go, they shall be at your service.

Enter CLOWN, in a hurry.

Rob. Come, sir, will you go up to the castle? Frank. Excuse me; the relief which you Here, here, Hob! I want to speak with you, have so generously given me, enables me to return to my family.

Clown. You mun meak heast then, for I be going to dine wi' my lord, and I shall be too late.