Love. My lord! Sir J. Your lordship's generosity encourages Lord O. I would, by all that's honourable me to tell you that I cannot marry miss Sterling. in man, Lord O. Miss Fanny Sterling that is; the countess of Ogleby that shall be. Love. I am astonished! Lord O. Why, could you expect from me? less Love. I did not expect this, my lord. Lord O. Trade and accounts have destroyed your feeling. Love. No indeed, my lord. [Sighs. Lord O. The moment that love and pity entered my breast, I was resolved to plunge into matrimony, and shorten the girl's tortures-I never do any thing by halves, do I, Lovewell? Lord O. I am not at all surprised at it-she's a bitter potion, that's the truth of it; but as you were to swallow it, and not I, it was your business, and not mine.-Any thing more? Sir J. But this, my lord; that I may be permitted to make my addresses to the other sister. Lord O. O yes, by all means-have you any hopes there, nephew? Do you think he'l! succeed, Lovewell? [Smiles and winks at Lovewell. Love. I think not, my lord. [Gravely. Lord O. I think so too; but let the fool try. Sir J. Will your lordship favour me with your good offices to remove the chief obstacle to the match, the repugnance of Mrs. [Aside. Heidelberg? Love. No indeed, my lord. [Sighs] What an accident! Love. O, I do, my lord. Lord 0. What's the matter, Lovewell? thou Lord O. Mrs. Heidelberg? - Had not you seem'st to have lost thy faculties. Why don't better begin with the young lady first? It will you wish me joy, man? save you a great deal of trouble, won't it, [Sighs. Lovewell? [Smiles] But do what you please, Lord O. She said that you would explain it will be the same thing to me: won't it, what she had not power to utter; but I want- Lovewell? [Conceitedly] Why don't you ed no interpreter for the language of love. laugh at him? Love. But has your lordship considered the consequences of your resolution? Lord O. No, sir, I am above consideration, when my desires are kindled. Love. But consider the consequences, my lord, to your nephew, sir John. Lord O. Sir John has considered no consequences himself, Mr. Love well. Love. Mr. Sterling, my lord, will certainly refuse his daughter to sir John. Lord O. Sir John has already refused Mr. Sterling's daughter. Love. do, my lord. [Forces a smile. Sir J. And your lordship will endeavour to prevail on Mrs. Heidelberg to consent to my marriage with miss Fanny? Lord O. I'll speak to Mrs. Heidelberg about the adorable Fanny as soon as possible. Sir J. Your generosity transports me. Lord O. Poor fellow, what a dupe! he little thinks who's in possession of the town. [Aside. Sir J. And your lordship is not in the least offended at this seeming inconstancy? Lord O. Not in the least. Miss Fanny's excuse infidelity. I look upon women as the feræ naturæ-lawful game Lord O. What's that to you? You may and every man who is qualified, has a nahave her, if you will. I depend upon Mr. tural right to pursue them;-Lovewell as well Sterling's city philosophy to be reconciled to as you, and you as well as he, and I as well lord Ogleby's being his son-in law, instead of as either of you.-Every man shall do his sir John Melvil, baronet. Don't you think best, without offence to any-what say you, that your master may be brought to that, kinsmen? without having recourse to his calculations, eh, Lovewell? Love. But what will become of miss Ster-charms will even ling, my lord? Sir J. You have made me happy, my lord. Love. And me, I assure you, my lord. Love. But, my lord, that is not the question. Lord O. And I am superlatively so-allons Lord O. Whatever is the question, I'll tell donc! To horse and away, boys!-you to you my answer. I am in love with a fine your affairs, and I to mine-suivons l'amour. girl, whom I resolve to marry. Enter SIR JOHN MELVIL. What news with you, sir John?-You look all hurry and impatience-like a messenger after a battle. Sir J. After a battle indeed, my lord. bave this day had a severe engagement; and wanting your lordship as an auxiliary, I have at last mustered up resolution to declare what my duty to you and to myself have demanded from me some time. [Sings. Exeunt severally. Fan. Why did you come so soon, Mr. Lovewell? the family is not yet in bed, and Betty certainly heard somebody listening near the chamber-door. Lord O. To the business then, and be as Bet. My mistress is right, sir! evil spirits concise as possible, for I am upon the wing are abroad; and I am sure you are both too -eh, Lovewell? [Smiles, and Lovewell bows. good, not to expect mischief from them. Sir J. I find 'tis in vain, my lord, to strug- Love. But who can be so curious, or so gle against the force of inclination. wicked? Lord O. Very true, nephew; I am your Bet. I think we have wickedness and cu witness, and will second the motion-shan't I, riosity enough in this family, sir, to expect Lovewell? [Smiles, and Lovewell bows. the worst. Fan. I do expect the worst. Pr'ythee, head two or three times, and went so with Betty, return to the outward door, and listen my hand. if you hear any body in the gallery; and let Fan. Well-well-and so — us know directly. Bet. And so, madam, when I heard Mr. Bet. I warrant you, madam-the Lord bless Lovewell a little loud, I heard the buzzing you both! [Exit. louder too-and pulling off my handkerchief Fan, What did my father want with you softly, I could hear this sort of noise this evening? Love. He gave me the key of his closet, with orders to bring from London some papers relating to lord Ogleby. Fan. And why did you not obey him? Love. Because I am certain that his lordship has opened his heart to him about you, and those papers are wanted merely on that account-But as we shall discover all to-morthere will be no occasion for them, and row, it would be idle in me to go. [Makes an indistinct sort of noise, like speaking. Fan. Well, and what did they say? Bet. O! I could not understand a word of what was said. Love. The outward door is lock'd? Bet. Yes; and I bolted it too, for fear of the worst. Fan. Why did you? they must have heard you, if they were near. Bet. And I did it on purpose, madam, and Fan. Hark! hark! bless me, how I tremble! cough'd a little too, that they might not hear -I feel the terrors of guilt-Indeed, Mr. Love- Mr. Lovewell's voice-when I was silent, they well, this is too much for me this situa- were silent, and so I came to tell you. tion may have very unhappy consequences. Fan. What shall we do? [Weeps. Love. Fear nothing; we know the worst; Love. But it sha'nt-I would rather tell our it will only bring on our catastrophe a little story this moment to all the house, and run too soon-but Betty might fancy this noisethe risk of maintaining you by the hardest she's in the conspiracy, and can make a man labour, than suffer you to remain in this dan- a mouse at any time. gerous perplexity.-What! shall I sacrifice all Bet. I can distinguish a man from a mouse my best hopes and affections, in your dear as well as my betters-I'm sorry you think health and safety, for the mean, and in such so ill of me, sir. [Exit. case the meanest consideration-of our for- Fan. He compliments you, don't be a fool! tune?-Were we to be abandoned by all our-Now you have set her tongue a running, relations, we have that in our hearts and she'll mutter for an hour. [To Lovewell] I'll minds will weigh against the most affluent go and hearken myself. circumstances. I should not have proposed Bet. I'll turn my back upon no girl for the secresy of our marriage, but for your sincerity and service. sake; and with hopes that the most generous [Half aside and muttering. sacrifice, you have made to love and me, Love. Thou art the first in the world for might be less injurious to you, by waiting a both; and I will reward you soon, Betty, for lucky moment of reconciliation. one and the other. Fan. Ilush! hush! for heaven's sake, my Bet. I am not mercenary neither-I can dear Lovewell; don't be so warm! your ge-live on a little, with a good carreter1). nerosity gets the better of your prudence; Re-enter FANNY. you will be heard, and we shall be discover- Fan. All seems quiet.-Suppose, my dear, ed. I am satisfied-indeed I am. Excuse you go to your own room-I shall be much this weakness, this delicacy, this what you easier then-and to-morrow we will be prewill. My mind's at peace-indeed it is- pared for the discovery. think no more of it, if you love me! Bet. You may discover, if you please; but Loor. That one word has charmed me, as for my part, I shall still be secret. it always does, to the most implicit obedience: [Half aside, and muttering. it would be the worst of ingratitude in me to Love. Should I leave you now; if they distress you a moment. still are upon the watch, we shall lose the Re-enter BETTY. advantage of our delay. Besides, we should Bet. [In a low Voice] I'm sorry to dis- consult upon to-morrow's business. Let Betty turb you. go to her own room, and lock the outward door after her; we can fasten this; and when she thinks all safe, she may return and let me out as usual. [Kisses her. Fan. Ha! what's the matter? Fan. Pr'ythee don't prate now, Betty! Bet. I was preparing myself, as usual, to take me a little nap Love. A nap! Bet. Shall I, madam? Fan. Do let me have my way to-night, and you shall command me ever after. Love. I live only to oblige you, my sweet Fanny! I'll be gone this moment. [Going. Fan. Betty shall go first, and if they lay hold of her Bet. They'll have the wrong sow by the Bet. Yes, sir, a nap; for I watch much ear, I can tell them that. [Going hastily. better so than wide awake; and when I had Fan. Softly-softly-Betty! don't venture wrapped this handkerchief round my head, out, if you hear a noise. Softly, I beg of for fear of the ear-ache from the key-hole, I you! See, Mr. Lovewell, the effects of indisthought I heard a kind of a sort of a buzzing, crction! which I first took for a gnat, and shook my!~1) Character. Love, But love, Fanny, makes amends for all. [Exeunt softly. SCENE IL-4 Gallery, which leads to several Bed-chambers. The Stage dark. Enter MISS STERLING, leading MRS. HEIDELBERG in a Night-cap. Miss S. Hush, madam! I hear something! Mrs. H. You frighten me-let me put ou my fly-cap-1 would not be seen in this figur for the world. Miss S. Tis dark, madam; you can't be seen. Mrs. H. I protest there's a candle coming, and a man too! Miss S. Nothing but servants;-let us re[They retire. Miss. S. This way, dear madam, and then tire a moment! I'll tell you all. the Chamber-maid, who has a Candle in her Hand. Mrs. H. Nay but, niece-consider a little-Enter BRUSH, half drunk, laying hold of don't drag me out this figure; let me put on my fly-cap!-If any of my lord's fammaly, or the counsellors at law should be stirring, 1 should be perdigus disconcerted. Cham. Be quiet, Mr. Brush; I shall drop down with terror! Miss S. But, my dear madam, a moment Brush. But my sweet, and most amiable is an age, in my situation. I am sure my chambermaid, if you have no love, you may sister has been plotting my disgrace and ruin hearken to a little reason; that cannot posin that chamber!— Ŏ! she's all craft and sibly do your virtue any harm. wickedness. Cham. But you may do me harm, Mr. Brush, pray let me Mrs. H. Well, but softly; Betsy!-you are and a great deal of harm too; — all in emotion-your mind is too much flus-go; I am ruined if they hear you; I tremble trated-you can neither eat, nor drink, nor like an asp1). take your natural rest- compose yourself, Brush. But they shan't hear us; and if you child; for if we are not as warisome as they have a mind to be ruined, it shall be the are wicked, we shall disgrace ourselves and making of your fortune, you little slut, you! the whole fammaly. therefore, I say it again, if you have no love, Miss S. We are disgraced already, madam. hear a little reason! Sir John Melvil has forsaken me; my lord Cham. I wonder at your impurence 2), Mr. cares for nobody but himself; or if any body, Brush, to use me in this manner; this is not it is my sister my father, for the sake of a the way to keep me company, I assure you. better bargain, would marry me to a 'Change You are a town-rake, I see, and now you broker: so that if you, madam, don't continue are a little in liquor you fear nothing. my friend-if you forsake me- -if I am to Brush. Nothing, by heavens! but your lose my best hopes and consolation--in your frowns, most amiable chambermaid; I am a tenderness-and affections—I had better—at little electrified, that's the truth on't; I am not once-give up the matter-and let my sister used to drink port, and your master's is so enjoy the fruits of her treachery-trample heady, that a pint of it oversets a claret drinwith scorn upon the rights of her elder sister ker. Come now, my dear little spider -the will of the best of aunts-and the weak- brusher! ness of a too interested father. Cham. Don't be rude! bless me!-I shall [She pretends to be bursting into Tears be ruined-what will become of me? during this speech. Brush. I'll take care of you, by all that's Mrs. H. Don't, Betsy-keep up your spur- honourable. rit-I hate whimpering-I am your frienddepend upon me in every particular.-But be composed, and tell me what new mischief you have discovered. Cham. You are a base man to use me so I'll cry out, if you don't let me go. That is miss Sterling's chamber, that miss Fanny's, and that madam Heidelberg's. Miss S. I had no desire to sleep, and Brush. We know all that. And that lord would not undress myself, knowing that my Ogleby's, and that my lady What-d'ye-callMachiavel sister would not rest till she had 'em's: I don't mind such folks when I'm sobroke my heart:-I was so uneasy that Iber, much less when I am whimsical-rather could not stay in my room, but when I thought above that, too. and then lock the door. Mrs. H. And how did you conduct yourself in this dilemma? Mr. Brush! I heard that all the house was quiet, I sent my maid Cham. More shame for you, Mr. Brush!to discover what was going forward; she you terrify me-you have no modesty. immediately came back and told me, that Brush. O, but I have, my sweet spiderthey were in high consultation; that she had brusher-for instance, I reverence miss Fanny heard only, for it was in the dark, my sister's-she's a most delicious morsel, and fit for a maid conduct sir John Melvil to her mistress, prince.-With all my horrors of matrimony, I could marry her myself-but for her sisterMiss S. [Within] There, there, madam, all in a story! Miss S. I returned with her, and could Cham. Bless me, hear a man's voice, though nothing that they something! said distinctly; and you may depend upon it, Brush. Rats, I suppose, that are gnawing that sir John is now in that room, that they the old timbers of this execrable old dungeon have settled the matter, and will run away-If it was mine, I would pull it down, and together before morning, if we don't prevent them. fill your fine canal up with the rubbish; and Mrs. H. Why, the brazen slut! she has got then I should get rid of two d-n'd things her sister's husband (that is to be) lock'd up at once. in her chamber! at night too!-I tremble at Cham. Law! law! how you blaspheme!the thoughts! 2) Impudence. 1) An aspen leaf, we shall have the house upon our heads for it. as Brush. No, no, it will last our time-but, Jezebel Cham. I will, I will, though I'm frighten'd out of my wits. [Exit. Mrs. H. Do you watch here, my dear; and I'll put myself in order to face them. We'll plot 'em, and counterplot 'em too. Cham. Is a fine young lady, for all your [Exit into her Chamber. evil tongue. Miss S. I have as much pleasure in this Brush. No-we have smoked her already; revenge, as in being made a countess.-Ha! and unless she marries our old Swiss, she they are unlocking the door.-Now for it! can have none of us.-No, no, she won't do -we are a little too nice. [Retires. Cham. You're a monstrous rake, Mr. Brush, FANNY's Door is unlocked, and BETTY comes and don't care what you say. Brush. Why, for that matter, my dear, I am a little inclined to mischief; and if you don't have pity upon me, I will break open that door, and ravish Mrs. Heidelberg. Mrs. H. [Coming forward] There's no bearing this you profligate monster! Cham. Ha! I am undone! Brush. Zounds! here she is, by all that's monstrous. [Runs off. Miss S. A fine discourse you have had with that fellow. Mrs. H. And a fine time of night it is to be here with that drunken monster! out; MISS STERLING approaches her. Bet. [Calling within] Sir! sir! - now's your time-all's clear. [Seeing Miss Sterling] Stay, stay-not yet-we are watch'd. Miss S. And so you are, madam Betty. Bet. [Turning round] What's the matter, madam? Miss S. Nay, that you shall tell my father and aunt, madam. Bet. I am no tell-tale, madam, and no thief; they'll get nothing from me. Miss S. You have a great deal of courage, Miss S. What have you to say for yourself? Cham. I can say nothing-I'm so frightened, Betty, and considering the secrets you have and so ashamed. But indeed I am vartuous to keep, you have occasion for it. -I am vartuous, indeed. Bet. My mistress shall never repent her Enter STERLING. Mrs. H. Well, well-don't tremble so; but good opinion of me, ma'am. tell us what you know of this horrable plot here. Miss S. We'll forgive you, if you'll dis- Why am I disturb'd in this manner? cover all. Cham. Why, madam, don't let me betray my fellow-servants-I sha'n't sleep in my bed, if I do. Mrs. H. Then you shall sleep somewhere else to-morrow night. Cham. O dear! what shall I do? Mrs. H. Tell us this moment, or I'll turn you out of doors directly. Cham. Why our butler has been treating us below in his pantry-Mr. Brush forced us to make a kind of a holiday night of it. Miss S. Holiday! for what? Cham. Nay, I only made one. Ster. What's all this? What's the matter? Miss S. This creature, and my distresses, sir, will explain the matter. Re-enter MRS. HEIDELBERG, with another Mrs. H. Now I'm prepar'd for the rancounter.-Well, brother, have you heard of this scene of wickedness? Ster. Not I-But what is it? speak.-I was got into my little closet, all the lawyers were in bed, and I had almost lost my senses in the confusion of lord Ogleby's mortgages, when I was alarmed with a foolish girl, who could hardly speak; and whether it's fire, or Miss S. Well, well; but upon what ac-thieves, or murder, or a rape, I'm quite in count? Cham. Because as how, madam, there was a change in the family, they said that his honour, sir John, was to marry miss Fanny instead of your ladyship. Miss. S. And so you make a holiday for that-Very fine! Cham. I did not make it, ma'am. Mrs. H. But do you know nothing of sir John's being to run away with miss Fanny to-night? Cham, No indeed, ma'am. Miss S. Nor of his being now locked up in my sister's chamber? the dark. Mrs. H. No, no, there's no rape, brother! all parties are willing, I believe. Miss S. Who's in that chamber? [Detaining Belly, who seemed to be stealing away. Bet. My mistress. Miss S. And who's with your mistress? Miss S. Open the door then, and let us see. Cham. No, as I hope for marcy, ma'am. Mrs. H. There's impudence, brother! piping ma'am Ster. But, zounds! what is all this about? You tell me of a sum total, and you don't Mrs. H. I don't care how late it is. Tell produce the particulars. him there are thieves in the house-that the Mrs. H. Sir John Melvil is locked up in house is on fire-tell him to come here im- your daughter's bed-chamber-There is the mediately-Go, I say. particular. Ster. The devil he is! That's bad. very much alarmed about thieves at circuit Miss S. And he has been there some time time. They would be particularly severe with too. Ster. Ditto! Mrs. H. Ditto! worse and worse, I say. I'll raise the house, and expose him to my lord, and the whole fammaly. us gentlemen of the bar. Trav. No danger, Mr. Sterling-no trespass, I hope? Ster. None, gentlemen, but of those ladies' making. Ster. By no means! we shall expose ourMrs. H. You'll be asham'd to know, gentleselves, sister!-The best way is to insure pri- men, that all your labours and studies about vately-let me alone! I'll make him marry this young lady are thrown away-Sir John her to-morrow morning. Melvil is at this moment locked up with this Miss S. Make him marry her! this is beyond lady's younger sister. all patience! You have thrown away all your Flow. The thing is a little extraordinary, affection, and I shall do as much by my obe- to be sure; but, why were we to be frighten'd dience; unnatural fathers make unnatural out of our beds for this? Could not we have children. My revenge is in my own power, tried this cause to-morrow morning? and I'll indulge it.-Had they made their es- Miss S. But, sir, by to-morrow morning, cape, I should have been exposed to the de- perhaps, even your assistance would not have rision of the world: but the deriders shall be been of any service-the birds now in that derided; and so-Help, help, there!-Thieves! cage would have flown away. thieves! Mrs. H. Tit-for-tat, Betsy! you are right, Enter LORD OGLEBY, in his Robe-de-chammy_girl. bre, Night-cap, etc. leaning on CANTON. Lord O. I had rather lose a limb than my Ster. Zounds! you'll spoil all-you'll raise the whole family-The devil's in the girl. Mrs. H. No, no; the devil's in you, brother: night's rest. What's the matter with you all? I am ashamed of your principles. What! Ster. Ay, ay, 'tis all over!—Here's my lord, would you connive at your daughter's being too. locked up with her sister's husband? Help! Lord 0. What's all this shrieking and Thieves! thieves, I say! [Cries out. screaming? Where's my angelic Fanny? She's Ster. Sister, I beg you! daughter, I com- safe, I hope? mand you!-If you have no regard for me, Mrs. H. Your angelic Fanny, my lord, is consider yourselves!- we shall lose this op-lock'd up with your angelic nephew in that portunity of ennobling our blood, and getting chamber. above twenty per cent, for our money. Lord O. My nephew! Then will I be ex Miss S. What, by my disgrace and my communicated. sister's triumph? I have a spirit above such Mrs. H. Your nephew, my lord, has been mean considerations: and to show you that plotting to run away with miss Fanny, and it is not a low-bred, vulgar, 'Change-alley miss Fanny has been plotting to run away spirit-Help! help! Thieves! thieves! thieves, with your nephew: and if we had not watched I say! them and call'd up the fammaly, they had Ster. Ay, ay, you may save your lungs-been upon the scamper to Scotland by this the house is in an uproar. time. Enter CANTON, in a Night-gown and Slippers. Can. Eh, diable! vat is de raison of dis great noise, dis tintamarre? Ster. Ask those ladies, sir; 'tis of their making. Lord O. Lookye, ladies! I know that sir John has conceived a violent passion for miss Fanny; and I know too that miss Fanny has conceived a violent passion for another person; and I am so well convinced of the rectitude of her affections, that I will support Lord O. [Calls within] Brush!-Brush!-them with my fortune, my honour, and my Canton!-Where are you?-What's the mat- life.-Eh, shan't I Mr. Sterling? [Smiling] ter? [Rings a Bell] Where are you? What say you? Ster. Tis my lord calls, Mr. Canton. Can. I com, mi lor! [Exit. L. Ogleby still rings. Flow. [Calls within] A light! a light here! -where are the servants? Bring a light for me and my brothers. Ster. [Sulkily] To be sure, my lord.These bawling women have been the ruin of every thing. [Aside. a Lord O. But come, I'll end this business in trice-If you, ladies, will compose your selves, and Mr. Sterling will ensure miss Fanny Ster. Lights here! lights for the gentlemen! from violence, I will engage to draw her [Exit. from her pillow with a whisper through the Mrs. H. My brother feels, I sce-your sis-key-hole. ter's turn will come next. Mrs. H. The horrid creatures!-I say, my Miss S. Ay, ay, let it go round, madam, it lord, break the door open. is the only comfort I have left. Re-enter STERLING, with Lights; before Lord O. Let me beg of your delicacy not to be too precipitate! Now to our experiment! [Advancing towards the Door. Miss S. Now, what will they do? My heart will beat through my bosom. Re-enter BETTY, with the Key. Ster. This way, sir! this way, gentlemen! Flow. Well but, Mr. Sterling, no danger, I hope? Have they made a burglarious entry? Bet. There's no occasion for breaking open Are you prepared to repulse them? I am doors, my lord; we have done nothing that |