Capt. P. Now, Worthy, to show you how bodkin, about the thickness of my leg. Enter ROSE, followed by her brother BULLOCK, Capt. P Come hither, pretty maid! Capt. P. Nay, Worthy, that's not fair; market for yourself-Come, child, I'll buy all your stock. Rose. Then it's all at your service. [Courtesies. Wor. Then must I shift for myself I find. [Exit. Bul. That's a fib, I believe. [Aside] Eh! where's Rouse? Rouse, Rouse! 'Sflesh! where's Rouse gone? Serg. K. She's gone with the captain. Bul. The captain! wauns! there's no pressing of women sure? Serg. K. But there is sure. Bul. If the captain should press Rouse, I should be ruined. Which way went she?Oh! the devil take your rabelius and palisadoes. Serg. K. You shall be better acquainted with them, honest Bullock, or I shall miss of my aim. Re-enter WORTHY. Wor. Why thou art the most useful fellow in nature to your captain; admirable in your way, I find: I Serg. K. Yes, sir, I understand my business, will say it. Wor. How came you so qualified? Capt. P. Let me see; young and tender you Serg. K. You must know, sir, I was born say? [Chucks her under the Chin. a gipsy, and bred among that crew till I was Rose. As ever you tasted in your life, sir. ten years old; there I learned canting and Capt. P. Come, I must examine your basket, lying: I was bought from my mother Cleomy dear! patra, by a certain nobleman, for three pistoles ; Rose. Nay, for that matter, I warrant my who, liking my beauty, made me his page; ware is as good as any in the market. there I learned impudence and pimping: I was Capt. P. And I'll buy it all, child, were it turned off for wearing my lord's linen, and tən times more. drinking my lady's ratafia, and turned bailiff's Rose. Sir, I can furnish you. follower; there I learned bullying and swearing: Capt. P. Come, then, we won't quarrel about I at last got into the a: my; and there I learned the price; they're fine birds. -Pray what's your wenching and drinking-so that if your worname, pretty creature? ship pleases to cast up the whole sum, viz, Rose. Rose, sir. My father is a farmer canting, lying, impudence, pimping, bullying, within three short miles o'the town: we keep swearing, drinking, and a halberd, you will this market; I sell chickens, eggs, and butter; find the sum total amount to a recruiting and my brother Bullock there sells corn. sergeant. Bul. Come, sister, haste, we shall be late home. [Whistles about the Stage. Wor. And pray what induc'd you to turn soldier? Capt. P. Kite! [Tips him the Wink, he Serg. K. Hunger and ambition. The fears returns it] Pretty Mrs. Rose, you have-let of starving, and hopes of a truncheon, led me me see how many? to a gentleman with a fair tongue, who loaded Rose. A dozen, sir; and they are richly me with promises; but, 'gad, it was the lightest load that ever I felt in my life.-lle promised worth a crown. Bul. Come, Rouse; I sold fifty strake of to advance me; and indeed he did so-to a barley to-day in half this time; but you will garret in the Savoy. I asked him, "Why he higgle and higgle for a penny more than the put me in prison?" he call'd me, "Lying dog," commodity is worth. and said, "I was in a garrison;" and indeed Rose. What's that to you, oaf? I can make 'tis a garrison that may hold out till doomsas much out of a groat as you can out of day before I should desire to take it again. fourpence, I'm sure. The gentleman bids fair; But here comes justice Balance. and when I meet with a chapman, I know how to make the best of him.-And so, sir, I say for a crown-piece the bargain's yours. Capt. P. Here's a guinea, my dear. Rose. I can't change your money, sir. Capt. P. Indeed, indeed, but you can. My lodging is hard by, chicken and we'll make change there. [Exit; Rose follows him. Serg. K. So, sir, as I was telling you, I have seen one of these bussars eat up a ravelin for his breakfast, and afterwards picked his teeth with a palisado. Bul, Ay, you soldiers see very strange things; but pray: sir, what is a rabelin? Serg. K. Why, 'tis like a modern minced pie; but the crust is confounded hard, and the plums are somewhat hard of digestion. Bul. Then your palisado, pray what may he be?-Come, Rouse, pray ha' done. Serg. K. Your palisado is a pretty sort of Re-enter BULLOCK, with JUSTICE BALANCE. Just. B. Here you, sergeant, where's your captain? here's a poor foolish fellow comes clamouring to me with a complaint that your captain has press'd his sister. Do you know any thing of this matter, Worthy? Wor. I know his sister is gone with Plume to his lodgings, to sell him some chickens, Just. B. Is that all? the fellow's a fool. Bul. I know that, an't like your worship; but if your worship pleases to grant me a warrant to bring her before your worship, for fear of the worst. Just. B. Thou'rt mad, fellow; thy sister's safe enough, Serg. K. I hope so too. [Aside. Wor. Hast thou no more sense, fellow, than to believe that the captain can list women? Bul. I know not whether they list them, or what they do with them; but I'm sure they carry as many women as men with them out of the country. Just. B. But how came you not to go along with your sister? Bul. Lord, sir, I thought no more of her going than I do of the day I shall die; but this gentleman here, not suspecting any hurt neither, I believe-You thought no harm, friend, did you? [To Sergeant Kite. Serg. K. Lack-a-day, sir, not I-only that I believe I shall marry her to-morrow. Wor. Whispering, sir, before company is not manners; and when nobody's by 'tis foolish. Capt. B. Company! mort de ma vie! I beg the gentleman's pardon-who is he? Wor. Ask him. Capt. B. So I will. My dear! I am your servant, and so forth-Your name, my dear! [To Justice Balance. Just. B. Very laconic, sir. Capt. B. Laconic! a very good name, truly. have known several of the Laconics abroad. Poor Jack Laconic! he was killed at the battle Just. B. I begin to smell powder. [Aside]-1 remember that he had a blue riband in Well, friend, but what did that gentleman do with you? Bul. Why, sir, he entertain'd me with a fine story of a great sea fight between the Hungarians, I think it was, and the wild Irish. Serg. K. And so, sir, while we were in the heat of battle, the captain carried off the baggage. Just. B. Sergeant, go along with this fellow to your captain; give him my humble service, and desire him to discharge the wench, though he has listed her. Bul. Ay, and if she be'nt free for that, he shall have another man in her place. Serg. K. Come, honest friend, you shall go to my quarters instead of the captain's. [Aside, and exit with Bullock. Just. B. We must get this mad captain his complement of men, and send him packing, else he'll overrun the country. | War. You see, sir, how little he values I your daughter's disdain. Just. B. I like him the better; I was just such another fellow at his age.-But how goes your affair with Melinda? his hat that very day; and after he fell, we found a piece of neat's tongue in his pocket. Just. B. Pray, sir, did the French attack us, or we them? Capt. B. The French attack us! No, sir, we attack'd them on the-I have reason to remember the time, for I had two-and-twenty horses killed under me that day. Wor. Then, sir, you must have rid mighty hard. Just. B. Or perhaps, sir, you rid upon half a-dozen horses at once. Capt. B. What do ye mean, gentlemen? I tell you they were killed; all torn to pieces by cannon shot, except six I stak'd to death upon the enemy's chevaux-de-frise. Just. B. Noble captain! may I crave your name? Capt. B. Brazen, at your service. Just. B. Oh, Brazen! a very good name. have known several of the Brazens abroad. Wor. Do you know one captain Plume, sir? [To Captain Brazen. Capt. B. Is he any thing related to Frank Plume in Northamptonshire? - Honest Frank! Wor. Very slowly. Cupid had formerly many, many a dry bottle have we crack'd wings; but I think in this age he goes upon hand to fist. You must have known his brother crutches; or, I fancy Venus had been dallying Charles, that was concerned in the India Comwith her cripple, Vulcan, when my amour pany; he married the daughter of old Tonguecommenced, which has made it go on so lame- pad, the master in Chancery: a very pretty ly. My mistress has got a captain too; but woman, only she squinted a little: she died in such a captain!-As I live, yonder he comes! childbed of her first child; but the child surJust. B. Who, that bluff fellow? I don't viv'd: 'twas a daughter - but whether it was know him. called Margaret or Margery, upon my soul, Wor. But I engage he knows you and every I can't remember. [Looks at his Watch] body at first sight; his impudence were a But, gentlemen, I must meet a lady, a twenty prodigy, were not his ignorance proportion- thousand pounder, presently, upon the walk by able; he has the most universal acquaintance the water. Worthy, your servant; Laconic, of any man living; for he won't be alone, and yours. nobody will keep him company twice: then Just. B. If you can have so mean an opinion he's a Caesar among the women, veni, vidi, of Melinda as to be jealous of this fellow, I vici, that's all. If he has but talked with the think she ought to give you cause to be so. maid, he swears he has lain with the mistress: Wor. I don't think she encourages him so but the most surprising part of his character much for gaining herself a lover, as to set up is his memory, which is the most prodigious, a rival. Were there any credit to be given and the most trifling in the world. to his words, I should believe Melinda had Just. B. I have known another acquire so made him this assignation: I must go see. much by travel, as to tell you the names of Sir, you'll pardon me. [Exit. most places in Europe, with their distances of Just. B. Ay, ay, sir, you're a man of bumiles, leagues, or hours, as punctually as a siness-But what have we got here? postboy; but for any thing else as ignorant as the horse that carries the mail. Re-enter ROSE, singing. [Exit. Rose. And I shall be a lady, a captain's Wor. This is your man, sir: add but the traveller's privilege of lying, and even that he lady, and ride single upon a white horse with abuses. This is the picture: behold the life. Enter CAPTAIN BRAZEN. a star, upon a velvet side-saddle; and I shall go to London and see the tombs, and the lions, and the king and queen. Sir, an' please Capt. B. Mr. Worthy, I'm your servant, your worship, I have often seen your worand so forth-Harkye, my dear!" ship ride through our grounds a hunting, 430 begging may this Just. B. did you g nestly by Just. B. Rose. N Rose. A snuff-box, Snuff affe how to take Just. B. der's out. [ you to take Rose. Yes Will your v Just. B. Y. maid! And E tain for these Rose. He's and two or Country: the Oh! he's th withal. Wo to me with ra-ral-ity the land. Just. B. man as can Rose-Mr. about my rec to-I have ju Just. B. N: Rose. And Capt. P. my life, sir Just. B. Pr. Capt. P. T -but-now, not-I must Just. B. Na SCENE II-TE Mel. And PE pendants, or k almighty gold you so much F Lucy. Indee from the capta Flanders lace f Mel. Ay, Fla from officers year bring over king of his du honesty. 432 RECRUITING OFFICER. rel with him afterwards. As Capt. B. I warrant you, my lad. Syl. Then I will tell you, captain Brazen, you a secret, my dear friend. that you are an ignorant, pretending, im- frightened out of the walk r [To Captain Plume, at home this morning, we tr pudent coxcomb. viting: I presently locked the Capt. P. Ay, ay, a sad dog. Syl. A very sad dog. Give me the money, man of honour-but I teber. noble captain Plume. her nevertheless-ber twenty 21 Capt. P. Then you won't list with captain you know, will be a prett Syl. I won't. [Takes Captain Plume to one Side of the business at present Stage, and entertains him in dumb Show.. Sri What! you are sergeant Kite? S. Then I would not take your oath for a tar9.12. Seg £ Åter understanding youth of his ACT IV SCENE L-The ban Enter Rose and BriluRose. Where have you in booby? you are always on time of preferment. Bul. Preferment: wi Rose. I would preter 1: prefer a man but a woman away that great club, and ↳ Bul. Ah, Kouse, Roas Cartwheel, your sweetheart." The very image of my brother; Ara "mride. be the captain's comrade, smonia dere again! tis a noble 1 Rose. Lookye, I'm a great provide for my relations how finely he played on so he set him down for e Bul. Nay, sister, why place for me? you know to be a drumming, if it or on a quart pot Enter St. by that I gained this Syl. Had I but a comm Amitra“ I see a commission. I fancy this dress woul But I see a storm coming, as any ranting fellow of I stal see who is your bold step, and an in principal ingredients in What's ber" 4 g w the other. 34° AIR 16.7095 2ssistance, sir. captain. via contend for any daughter! I'll go and prata year sword? kiss me at once. [Kasr. and have not brother too! Weil, 26 prythee, know the difference betwe you are a very cart and a cart-borse, et Bul. I presume that va dear! men You should have a care, my Wauns! Rouse, what have you said? After I had sold my chickens: I hope Enter CAPTAIN PLUME. P. What, Mr. Wilful, so close with <et-woman? 'll try if he loves her. [Aside] Close, and closer yet, sir. Come, my pretty ou and I will withdraw a little. P. No, no, friend, I ha'nt done with or have I begun with her; so I have P. Thou'rt a bloody impudent fellow! Hast thou really a mind to the Capt. P. Ay, that is promised; but what Rose. We'll go fetch him. Come, brother Syl. Captain Plume, I despise your listing Capt. P. Your usage will chiefly depend upon your behaviour; only this you must expect, that if you commit a small fault I will excuse it, if a great one, I'll discharge you; for something tells me I shall not be able to punish you. Syl. And something tells me that if you do es, sir; so let her go. discharge me, 'twill be the greatest punishPray, gentlemen, don't be so violent, ment you can inflict; for. were we this moP. Come, leave it to the girl's own ment to go upon the greatest dangers in your VWill you belong to me, or to that profession, they would be less terrible to me than to stay behind you. And now your hand; this lists me-and now you are my captain. 1? Let me consider: you're both very D. Now the natural inconstancy of egins to work. Capt. P. Your friend. 'Sdeath! there's something in this fellow that charms me. [Aside. Pray, sir, what will you give me? Syl. One favour I must beg-this affair Junna be angry, sir, that my sister will make some noise, and I have some friends marcenary, for she's but young. that would censure my conduct if I threw ive thee, child? I'll set thee above myself into the circumstance of a private senyou shall have a coach with six be-tinel of my own head-I must therefore take six behind; an equipage to make care to be impressed by the act of parliaonable, and put virtue out of coun-ment; you shall leave that to me. 2. Pho! that's easily done: I'll do thee, child, I'll buy you a new d give you a ticket to see a play. play! wauns! Rouse, take the ticket, see the show. okye, captain, if you won't resign, with captain Brazen this minute. Will you list with me if I give le? will. '. Take her; I'll change a woman I have heard before indeed that you Capi. P. What you please as to that. Will Enter MELINDA and LUCY. Mel. 'Tis the greatest misfortune in nature for a woman to want a confidant: we are so weak that we can do nothing without assistance, and then a secret racks us worse than the cholic-I am at this minute so sick of a secret that I'm ready to faint away-Help me, Lucy! Lucy. Bless me! madam, what's the matter? Mel. Vapours only; I begin to recover. If Ha, ha, ha! West Indies! No, no, Sylvia were in town I could heartily forgive t lad, give me thy hand; nor you her faults for the ease of discovering my own. all move a step further than I do. Lucy. You are thoughtful, madam; am not leman is one of us, and will be I worthy to know the cause? u, Mrs. Rose. Mel. Oh, Lucy! I can hold my secret no ut will you be so kind to me, sir, longer. You must know, that hearing of a tain would? famous fortune-teller in town, I went disguiscan't be altogether so kind to you; ed to satisfy a curiosity which has cost me istances are not so good as the cap- dear. The fellow is certainly the devil, or I'll take care of you, upon my word, one of his bosom-favourites: he has told me Ay, ay, we'll all take care of her; the most surprising things of my past life. ive like a princess, and her brother Lucy. Things past, madam, can hardly be Le-What would you be? reckoned surprising, because we know them 1, sir, if you had not promised the already. Did he tell you any thing surprisrum-majoring that was to come? 55 begging your worship's pardon. Pray what Rose. No matter for that, sir; I came honestly by it. Lucy. They only barter one sort of probibited goods for another, madam. Mel. Has any of 'em been bartering with you, Mrs. Pert, that you talk so like a trader? Lucy. One would imagine, madam, by your concern for Worthy's absence, that you should use him better when he's with you. Just. B. I question it much.` [Aside. Mel. Who told you, pray, that I was conRose. And see here, sir, a fine Turkey-shell cerned for his absence? I'm only vexed that snuff-box, and fine mangere: see here. [Takes I have had nothing said to me these two days: Snuff affectedly] The captain learned me one may like the love, and despise the lover, how to take it with an air. I hope, as one may love the treason, and hate Just. B. Oh, ho! the captain! now the mur- the traitor.-Oh! here comes another captain, der's out. [Aside] And so the captain taught and a rogue that has the confidence to make you to take it with an air? love to me; but indeed I don't wonder at that, Rose. Yes, and give it with an air too. when he has the assurance to fancy himself a Will your worship please to taste my snuff? fine gentleman. [Offers it affectedly. Lucy. If he should speak o'the assignation, Just. B. You are a very apt scholar, pretty I should be ruined, [Aside, and exit. maid! And pray what did you give the captain for these fine things? Enter CAPTAIN BRAZEN. Rose. He's to have my brother for a soldier, Capt. B. True to the touch, faith! [Aside] and two or three sweethearts I have in the Madam, I am your humble servant, and all Country: they shall all go with the captain. that, madam. A fine river this same Severn. Oh! he's the finest man, and the humblest Do you love fishing, madam? withal. Would you believe it, sir? he talked Mel. Tis a pretty, melancholy amusement to me with as much fam-mam-mil-ya- for lovers. ra-ral-ity as if I had been the best lady in! Capt. B. I'll go buy hooks and lines prethe land. sently; for you must know, madam, that I Just. B. Oh! he's a mighty familiar gentle-have served in Flanders against the French, man as can be. Re-enter CAPTAIN PLUME, singing. But it is not so With those that go Through frost and snow- My maid with the milking-pail. Just. B. Oh, my noble Captain! in Hungary against the Turks, and in Tangier against the Moors, and I never was so much in love before; and split me, madam, in all the campaigns I ever made, I have not seen so fine a woman as your ladyship. Mel. And from all the men I ever saw, I never had so fine a compliment: but you soldiers are the best bred men, that we must allow. Capt. B. Some of us, madam; but there are brutes among us too, very sad brutes: for my own part, I have always had the good luck to prove agreeable. I have had very considerable offers, madam. I might have mar ried a German princess, worth fifty thousand crowns a year; but her stove disgusted me. The daughter of a Turkish bashaw fell in love with me too when I was a prisoner among the infidels: she offered to rob her father of his treasure, and make her escape with me; Capt. P. Any other time, sir-I cannot for but I don't know how, my time was not come. my life, sir Just. B. Pray, sir -but-now, not-I must Hanging and marriage, you know, go by destiny. Fate has reserved me for a ShropCapt. P. Twenty thousand things-I would shire lady, worth twenty thousand pounds. sir, pray-devil take me-I canDo you know any such person, madam? [Breaks away. Mel. Extravagant coxcomb! [Aside] To be [Exit. sure, a great many ladies of that fortune [Exit. would be proud of the name of Mrs. Brazen. are women of very good quality of the name Capt. B. Nay, for that matter, madam, there Just. B. Nay, I'll follow you. Mel. And pray was it a ring, or buckle, or pendants, or knots; or in what shape was the almighty gold transformed, that has bribed you so much in bis favour? of Brazen. Enter WORTHY. Mel. Oh, are you there, gentleman? [Aside] Come, captain, we'll walk this way. Give me your hand. Lucy. Indeed, madam, the last bribe I had Capt. B. My hand and heart are at your from the captain was only a small piece of service. Mr. Worthy, your servant, my dear. Flanders lace for a cap. [Exit, leading Mel. Wor. Death and fire! this is not to be borne. Mel. Ay, Flanders lace is a constant present from officers to their women. They every year bring over a cargo of lace, to cheat the king of his duty, and his subjects of their honesty. Enter CAPTAIN PLUME. |