leave my father again, to go off openly with nate! Plague on't, captain, how could you a man, of whose libertine character he has make such a strange blunder? himself so lately been a witness, would justify O'Cut. I never thought of a blunder. I was bis anger, and impeach my reputation. to deliver two letters; and if I gave them one Enter Chambermaid. a piece, I thought it would do. Chamb. O law, ma'am!-Such a terrible Lady F. And so, my lord, the ingenious accident! As sure as I am here, there's a captain gave the letter intended for me to pressgang has seized the two gemmin, and is young Ŏakly, and here has brought me a carrying them away, thof so be one an'em challenge. says as how he's a knight and baronight, and that t'other's a squire and a housekeeper. Har. Seized by a pressgang! impossible! Charles. Oh, now the design comes out.But I'll balk his lordship. Lord T. Ridiculous! Never was any thing so mal apropos.—Did you read the direction, captain? O'Cut. Who, me?-Devil burn me, not I. I never rade at all. Lord T. 'Sdeath! how provoking! When I Chamb. Lack-a-daisy, ma'am, what can we do? There is master, and John Ostler, and had secured the servants, and got all the Bootcatcher, afl gone a'ter'em.-There is such people out of the way-when every thing was [Exit. en train. an uproar as never was! How? how? my dear lady Free Har. If I thought this was your contrivance, Lady F. Nay, never despair, my lord! I've sir, I would never speak to you again. hit upon a method to set every thing to rights Charles. I would sooner die than be guilty again. of it. This is lord Trinket's doing, I am sure. Lord T. I knew he had some scheme in agitation, by love, how? a letter I intercepted this morning. [Harriot Lady F. Suppose then your lordship was screams] Ha! here he comes. Nay, then, it's to go and deliver these country gentlemen plain enough. Don't be frightened, my love! from their confinement; make them believe it I'll protect you. But now I must desire you was a plot of young Oakly's to carry off my to follow my directions. niece; and so make a merit of your own services with the father. Enter LORD TRINKET. Lord T. Now, madam.-Pox on't, he here again!-Nay then, [Draws] come, sir! You're Lord T. Admirable! I'll about it immediately. unarm'd, I see. Give up the lady: give her my sarvice in this expedition? up, I say, or I am through you in a twink- Lord T. O, no-Only release me these ling. [Going to make a Pass at Charles. people, and then keep out of the way, dear Charles. Keep your distance, my lord! I captain. have arms. [Produces a Pistol] If you come a foot nearer, you have a brace off balls through your lordship's head. Lord T. How? what's this? pistols! Charles. At your lordship's service.-Sword and pistol, my lord.-Those, you know, are our weapons. If this misses, I have the fellow to it in my pocket. Don't be frightened, madam. His lordship has removed your friends and relations, but he will take great care of you. Shall I leave you with him? Har. Cruel Charles! you know I must go with you now. Charles. A little way from the door, if your Lord T. Sir!-'Sdeath!-Madam!- Lord T. But, sir!-Mr. Oakly! O'Ct. With all my heart, 'fait. But you are all wrong:-this will not signify a brass farding. If you would let me alone, I would give him a salt ecl1), I warrant you. But upon my credit, there's noting to be done without a little tilting. [Exit. I Lord T. But where shall I carry them, when have delivered them? Lady F. To Mr. Oakly's, by all means; you may be sure my niece is there. Lord T. To Mr. Oakly's!-Why, does your ladyship consider! 'Tis going directly in the fire of the enemy-throwing the dementi full in their teeth. Lady F. So much the better. Face your enemies-nay, you shall outface them too. I'! certainly meet you there. It's hard indeed if [Waves. two persons of condition can't bear themselves out against such trumpery folks as the Charles. I have no leisure to talk with your family of the Oakly's. lordship now.-A little more that way if you Lord T. Odious low people! But I lose please. [Waves]-You know where I live.- time-I must after the captain-and so, till if you have any commands for miss Russet, we meet at Mr. Oaklys, I kiss your ladyship's you will hear of her too at my house.-Nay, hands-you won't fail me? keep back, my lord. [Presents] Your lordship's most obedient, humble servant. Lady F. You may depend on me. [Exit Lord Trinket] So, here is fine work! this [Exit, with Harriot, artful little bussy has been too much for us Lord T. [Looks at them, and pauses for all. Well, what's to be done? Why, when a short Time]-I cut a mighty ridiculous a woman of fashion gets into a scrape, nofigure here, 'pon honour. [Exit. thing but a fashionable assurance can get her out of it again. I'll e'en go boldly to Mr. Oakly's, as I have promised, and if it appears practicable, I will forward lord Trinket's match; but if I find that matters have taken another turn, his lordship must excuse me. In that ACT V. SCENE I.-LADY FREELOVE'S House. 1) A salt cel is a sailor's term for a beating The phrase is generally "P'll give him a salt eel for his supper," Enter JOHN. case, I'll fairly drop him, seem a perfect Toil. Yes, ma'am, I'll go this minute.-O stranger to all his intentions, and give my here, John! my lady wants you. visit an air of congratulation to my niece and any other husband, which fortune, her wise father, or her ridiculous self has provided for her. SCENE II.-MRS. OAKLY'S Dressing-room. Enter MRS. Oakly. [Exit. Mrs. O. This is worse and worse!-He never held me so much in contempt before-To go out without speaking to me, or taking the least notice. I am obliged to the major for this. How could he take him out? and how could Mr. Oakly go with him?— Well, Toilet. Enter TOILET. Mrs. O. Where's your master? Mrs. O. Why did not you go with him? John. Because he went out in the major's chariot, madam. Mrs. O. Where did they go to? Mrs. O. Believe and suppose!-and don't know, and can't tell!-You are all fools.-Go about your business. [John going] Come here. [Returns] Go to the major's-no-it does not Toil. My master is not come back yet, signify-go along [John going] Yes, harkye, ma'am. Mrs. O. Where is he gone? Toil. I don't know, I can assure your ladyship. Mrs. O. Why don't you know?—You know nothing. But I warrant you know well enough, if you would tell.-You shall never persuade me but you knew of Mr. Oakly's going out to-day. Toil. I wish I may die, ma'am, upon my honour, and I protest to your ladyship I knew nothing in the world of the matter, no more than the child unborn. There is Mr. Paris, my master's gentleman, knows Mrs. O. What does he know? Toil. That I knew nothing at all of the [Returns] go to the major's, and see if your master is there. John. Give your compliments, madam? Mrs. O. My compliments, blockhead! Get along. [John going] Come hither. [Returns] Can't you go to the major's, and bring me word if Mr. Oakly is there, without taking any further notice? Par. De tout mon cœur.-Jean! ici! Jean!-go down to dinner-l'll dine in my own speak, my lady. [Exit. room, and sup there-I'll not see his face Mrs. O. Impudent fellow! His insolent gra- these three days. vity and indifference is insupportable—Toilet! Toil. Ma'am! Mrs. O. Where's John? Why don't he come? Why do you stand with your hands before you? Why don't you fetch him? [Exeunt. Enter OAKLY, MAJOR OAKLY, CHARLES, and HARRIOT. Charles. My dear Harriot, do not make yourself so uneasy. Har. Alas! I have too much cause for my Charles. I can assure you, sir, that your uneasiness. Who knows what that vile lord daughter is entirelyhas done with my father? Oak. Be comforted, madam; we shall soon hear of Mr. Russet, and all will be well, I dare say Har. You are too good to me, sir; I shall never forgive myself for having disturbed the peace of such a worthy family. Maj O. Don't mind that, madam; they'll be very good friends again. This is nothing among married people-'Sdeath, here she is! -No-its only Mrs. Toilet. Re-enter TOILET. Oak. Well, Toilet, what now? [Toilet whispers] Not well?-Can't come down to dinner? Wants to see me ahove?-Harkye, brother, what shall I do? Maj. O. If you go, you are undone. Har. Go, sir, go to Mrs. Oakly-Indeed you had better Maj. O. 'Sdeath, brother, don't budge a foot -This is all fractiousness and ill humourOak. No, I'll not go-Tell her I have company, and we shall be glad to see her here. [Exit Toilet. Maj. O. That's right. Oak. Suppose I go and watch how she proceeds? Maj. O. What d'ye mean? You would not go to her? Are you mad? Oak. By no means go to her I only want to know how she takes it. I'll lie perdue in my study, and observe her motions." Rus. You assure me! You are the fellow that has perverted her mind-That has set my own child against me Charles. If you will but hear me, sir— Rus. I won't hear a word you say. I'll have my daughter-I won't hear a word. Maj. O. Nay, Mr. Russet, hear reason. you will but have patience If Rus. I'll have no patience, I'll have my daughter, and she shall marry sir Harry to-night. Lord T. That is dealing rather too much en cavalier with me, Mr. Russet, 'pon honour. You take no notice of my pretensions, though my rank and family Rus. What care I for rank and family? I don't want to make my daughter a rantipole | woman of quality. I'll give her to whom I please. Take ker away, sir Harry; she shall marry you to-night. Maj. O. Only three words, Mr. RussetRus. Why don't the booby take her? Sir H. Hold hard! Hold hard!1) You are all on a wrong seent; Hold hard! I say, hold hard!-Harkye, squire Russet. Rus. Well, what now? Sir H. It was proposed, you know, to match me with miss Harriot-But she can't take kindly to me.-When one has made a bad bet, it is best to hedge off, you know-and so Í have e'en swopped 2) her with_lord Trinket here for his brown horse, Nabob. Rus. Swopped her? Swopped my daughter for a horse! Zounds, sir, what d'ye mean? Maj. O. I don't like this pitiful ambuscade Sir H. Mean? Why I mean to be off, to work-this bush fighting. Why can't you stay be sure-It won't do I tell you it won't do here?-Ay, ay!-I know how it will be--First of all I knocked up myself and my She'll come bounce in upon you with a tor- horses, when they took for London-and now rent of anger and passion, or, if necessary a I have been stewed aboard a tender-I have whole flood of tears, and carry all before her wasted three stone at least-If I could have rid my match it would not have grieved me —And so, as I said hefore, I have swopped her for Nabob. at once. Oak. You shall find that you are mistaken, major. Now I am convinced I'm in the right, I'll support that right with ten times your steadiness. Maj. O. You talk this well, brother. Rus. The devil take Nabob, and yourself, and lord Trinket, and Lord T. Pardon! je vous demande pardon, monsieur Russet, pon honour. Rus. Death and the devil! I shall go distracted! My daughter plotting against me -the Charles. I can't bear to see my Harriot so Maj. O. Come, come, Mr. Russet, I am your uneasy. I'll go immediately in quest of Mr. man after all. Give me but a moment's hearRusset. Perhaps I may learn at the inn where ing, and I'll engage to make peace between his lordship's ruffians have carried him. you and your daughter, and throw the blame Rus. [Without] Here! Yes, yes, I know where it ought to fall most deservedly. she's here well enough. Come along, sir Harry, come along. Sir H. Ay, ay, that's right. Put the saddle on the right horse, my buck! Har. He's here!- My father; I know his voice. Where is Mr. Oakly? O, now, good-I don't know what to do. sir, [To the Major] do but pacify him, and you'll be a friend indeed. Rus. Well, sir-What d'ye say?-Speak Enter RUSSET, LORD TRINKET, and SIR HARRY BEAGLE. Maj. O. I'll speak the truth, let who will be offended by it.-I have proof presumptive and positive for you, Mr. Russet. From his lordship's behaviour at lady Freelove's, when my nephew rescued her, we may fairly conclude Lord T. There, sir-I told you it was so! that he would stick at no measures to carry Rus. Ay, ay, it is too plain.-O you pro- his point-there's proof presumptive. But, sir, voking slut! Elopement after elopement!-we can give you proof positive too-proof And at last to have your father carried off by under his lordship's own hand, that he likeviolence! to endanger my life! Zounds! I am wise was the contriver of the gross affront so angry I dare not trust myself within reach that has just been offered you. of you. Rus. Hey! how? Lord T. Every syllable romance, 'pon honour. Charles. This letter will convince you, sir! In consequence of what happened at lady Freelove's, his lordship thought fit to send me a challenge; but the messenger blundered, and gave me this letter instead of it. [Giving the Letter] I have the case which enclosed it in my pocket. Lord T. Forgery from beginning to end, 'pon honour. Maj. O. Truth, upon my honour.-But read, read, Mr. Russet, read, and be convinced. Maj. O. How easy, impudent, and familiar! [Aside. Lady F. Lord Trinket here too! I vow I did not see your lordship before. Lord T. Your ladyship's most obedient slave. [Bowing. Lady F. You seem grave, my lord! Come, come, I know there has been some difference between you and Mr. Oakly-You must give me leave to be a mediator in this affair. Lord T. Here has been a small fracas, to be sure, madam!-We are all blown 1), 'pon honour. Lady F. Blown! what do you mean, my Rus. Let me see-let me seee-[Reads]—lord? 1 Um-um-um-um-so, so-um-um-um- Lord T. Nay, your ladyship knows that I damnation!- Wish me success obedient never mind these things, and I know that slave-TRINKET-Fire and fury! How dare they never discompose your ladyship - But you do this? things have happened a little en travers-The t Lord T. When you are cool, Mr. Russet, little billet I sent your ladyship has fallen I will explain this matter to you. into the hands of that gentleman—[Pointing to Charles]-and so there has been a little brouillerie about it-that's all. Rus. Cool! 'Sdeath and hell!-I'll never be cool again-I'll be revenged-So my Harriot, my dear girl, is innocent at last. Say so, my Harriot; tell me your are innocent. [Embraces her. Har. I am indeed, sir, and happy beyond expression at your being convinced of it. Rus. I am glad on't-I am glad on't-I believe you, Harriet!-You was always a good girl. Lady F. You talk to me, my lord, in a very extraordinary style-If you have been guilty of any misbehaviour, I am sorry for it; but your ill conduct can fasten no imputation on me.-Miss Russet will justify me sufficiently. Maj. O. Had not your ladyship better appeal to my friend Charles here?-The letter, Charles!-Out with it this instant! Charles. Yes, I have the credentials of her Maj. O. So she is, an excellent girl!Worth a regiment of such lords and baronets ladyship's integrity in my pocket.-Mr. Russet, -Come, sir, finish every thing handsomely at the letter you read a little while ago was once.-Come, Charles will have a handsome enclosed in this cover, which also I now think fortune. it my duty to put into your hands. Rus. Marry!-she durst not do it. Rus. [Reading] To the Right Honourable Maj. O. Consider, sir, they have long been Lady Freelove-'Sdeath and hell!--and now fond of each other-old acquaintance-faith-I recollect, the letter itself was pieced with ful lovers-turtles-and may be very happy. scraps of French, and madam, and your ladyRus. Well, we'l-since things are SO- Iship-Fire and fury! madam, how came you love my girl.-Harkye, young Oakley, if you to use me so? I am obliged to you, then, don't make her a good husband, you'll break for the insult that has been offered me! my heart, you rogue. Maj. O. I'll cut his throat if he don't. Charles. Do not doubt it, sir! my Harriot has reformed me altogether. Rus. Has she?-Why then-there-heaven bless you both-there-now there's an end on't. Sir H. So, my lord, you and I are both distanced)-A hollow thing, damme. Lord T. N'importe. Sir H. Now this stake is drawn, my lord may be for hedging off, mayhap. Ecod! I'll go to Jack Speed's, secure Nabob, and be out of town in an hour. [Aside, and exit. Lady F. What is all this? Your obligations to me, Mr. Russet, are of a nature, that Rus. Fine obligations! I dare say, I am partly obliged to you too for the attempt on my daughter by that thing of a lord yonder at your house. Zounds, madam! these are injuries never to be forgiven-They are the grossest affronts to me and my family-All the world shall know them-Zounds! - 'T'II— Lady F. Mercy on me! how boisterous are these country gentlemen! Why, really, Mr. Russet, you rave like a man in Bedlam-I am afraid you'll beat me-and then you swear most abominably.-How can you be so vulgar?-I see the meaning of this low malice-But Lady F. My dear miss Russet, you'll excuse-the reputations of women of quality are not Charles. Mrs. Oakly, at your ladyship's, service. Enter LADY FREELOVE. Lady F. Married? so easily impeached--My rank places me above the scandal of little people, and I shall meet such petty insolence with the greatest ease Har. Not, yet, madam; but my father has and tranquillity. But you and your simple been so good as to give his consent. girl will be the sufferers.-I had some thoughts Lady F. I protest I am prodigiously glad of introducing her into the first companyof it. My dear, I give you joy-and you, But now, madam, I shall neither receive nor Mr. Oakly.-I wish you joy, Mr. Russet and return your visits, and will entirely withdraw all the good company-for I think the most my protection from the ordinary part of the of them are parties concerned. family, [Exit. Rus. Zounds, what impudence! that's worse than all the rest. 1) In racing one horse gets to the winning-post before another, and being at distance before the other thus distances him. 1) What we would do is made publica sure, as you say, and make my friends welcome. Mrs. O. Excellent raillery! Lookye, Mr. Oakly, I see the meaning of all this affected coolness and indifference." Lord T. Fine presence of mind, faith! The true French nonchalance-But, good folks, why such a deal of rout and tapage about nothing at all?-If mademoiselle Harriot had rather be Mrs. Oakly than lady Trinket- Oak. My dear, consider where you areWhy-I wish her joy-that's all.-Mr. Rus- Mrs. O. You would be glad, I find, to get set, I wish you joy of your son-in-law-Mr. me out of your house, and have all your flirts Oakly, I wish you joy of the lady-and you, about you. madam, [To Harriot] of the gentleman-And, in short, I wish you all joy of one another, 'pon honour! [Exit Rus. There's a fine fellow of a lord now! The devil's in your London folks of the first fashion, as you call them. They will rob you of your estate, debauch your daughter, or lie with your wife- and all as if they were doing you a favour-'pon honour! Maj. O. Hey! what now? Oak. Before all this company! Fie! f Mrs. O. But I'll disappoint you, for I shall remain in it, to support my due authorityas for you, major Oakly Maj. O. Hey-day! What have I done? Mrs. O. I think yon might find better employment, than to create divisions between married people-and you, sir! Ook. Nay but, my dear! Mrs. O. Might have more sense, as well as Mrs. O. You and your wise counsellor there, suppose, think to carry all your points Maj. O. Zounds! what a clatter!-She'll with me-pull down all the bells in the house. Oak. Was ever any thing Oak. My observations since I left you, have Mrs. O. But it won't do, sir. You shall confirmed my resolution. I see plainly that find that I will have my own way, and that her good humour, and her ill humour, her I will govern my own family. smiles, her tears, and her fits, are all calcu- Oak. You had better learn to govern yourlated to play upon me. self, by half. Your passion makes you ridiMaj. O. Did not I always tell you so? It's culous. Did ever any body see so much fury the way with them all-they will be rough and violence; affronting your best friends, and smooth, and hot and cold, and all in a breaking my peace, and disconcerting your breath. Any thing to get the better of us. own temper. And all for what? For nothing. Oak. She is in all moods at present, 1'Sdeath, madam! at these years you ought to promise you-There has she been in her know better. chamber, fuming and fretting, and dispatching Mrs. O. At these years!-Very fine!-Am a messenger to me every two minutes-servant I to be talked to in this manner? after servant-now she insists on my coming Oak. Talked to!- Why not? You have to her now again she writes a note to entreat talked to me long enough—almost talked me -then Toilet is sent to let me know that she to death-and I have taken it all, in hopes of is ill, absolutely dying-then the very next making you quiet-but all in vain. Patience, minute, she'll never see my face again-she'll I find, is all thrown away upon you; and go out of the house directly. [Bell rings] henceforward, come what may, I am resolved Again! now the storm rises!to be master of my own house. Maj. O. It will soon drive this way thennow, brother, prove yourself a man -You have gone too far to retreat. Oak. Retreat! Retreat! - No, no!-I'll preserve the advantage 1 have gained, I am determined. Mrs. O. So, so!-Master, indeed! - Yes, sir; and you'll take care to have mistresses enough too, I warrant you. Oak. Perhaps I may; but they shall be quiet ones, I can assure you. Mrs. O. Indeed! And do you think I am Maj. O. Ay, ay!-keep your ground!-fear such a tame fool, as to sit quietly and bear nothing-up with your noble heart! Good all this? You shall know, sir, that I will discipline makes good soldiers; stick close to resent this behaviour - You shall find that! my advice, and you may stand buff to a have a spirittigress Oak. Here she is, by heavens! now, brother! Re-enter MRS. OAKLY. Oak. Of the devil. Mrs. O. Intolerable! - You shall find then that I will exert that spirit. I am sure I have need of it. As soon as the house is once cleared again, I'll shut my doors against all You shan't see a single soul for Mrs O. I think, Mr. Oakly, you might company. have had humanity enough to have come to this month. see how I did. You have taken your leave, Oak. 'Sdeath, madam, but I will!-I'll keep I suppose, of all tenderness and affection-open house for a year. I'll send cards to the but I'll be calm-I'll not throw myself into a whole town-Mr. Oakly's rout!—All the world passion-you want to drive me out of your will come-and I'll go among the world too— house-I see what you aim at, and will be I'll be mewed up no longer. aforehand with you-let me keep my temper! I'll send for a chair, and leave the house this instant to be endured-Lookye, Mr. Oakly Oak. True, my love: I knew you would not think of dining in your chamber alone, when I had company below. You shall sit at the head of the table, as you ought, to be Mrs. O. Provoking insolence! This is not Oak. And lookye, Mrs. Oakly, I will have my own way. Mrs. O. Nay, then let me tell you, sir- |