Enter a Servant, hastily. Hyp. Sir, don Fernando de las Torres, How now? whom I am proud to call my father, commanded Sero. O sir, Octavio has set upon a couple me to deliver this into the hands of his most of gentlemen just as they were alighting out dear and worthy friend, don Manuel Grimaldi, of a coach at the door; one of them, I believe, and at the same time gave me assurance of is he that is to marry my young mistress, I a kind reception. heard 'em name; I'm afraid there will be Don M. Sir, you are thrice welcome: let mischief, sir; there they are all at it, helter skelter. me embrace ye; I'm overjoy'd to see you— Don M. Run into the hall, take down my your friend, sir? back, breast, and head-piece, call an officer, Hyp. Don Pedro Velada, my near relation, raise the neighbours, give me my great gun, who has done me the honour of his company I'll shoot him out of the garret window. from Seville, sir, to assist at the solemnity of [Exit Don Manuel. his friend's happiness. Enter HYPOLITA and FLORA, putting up their Don M. Sir, you are welcome; I shall be proud to know you. Flora. You do me honour, sir. Don M. I hope you are not hurt, gentlemen? Hyp. Bring him along-this is such an insolence at this rate no gentleman can walk in the sword. the streets. Don M. I am glad of it; however, give me Flora. I suppose, sir, your business was leave to interrupt our business for a moment, more with our pockets than our persons: are till I have done you justice on the person our things safe? that offer'd you this insolence at my gate. Trap. Ay, sir, I secured them as soon as Hyp. Your pardon, sir; I understand he is ever I saw his sword out; I guess'd his de-a gentleman, and beg you would not let my sign, and scower'd off with the portmanteau. honour suffer, by receiving a lame reparation Hyp. I'll know now who set you on, sir. from the law. Oct. Pr'ythee, young man, don't be troublesome, but thank the rascal that knock'd me down for your escape. Don M. A pretty mettled fellow, faith-must not let him fight though. [Aside.] But, sir, you don't know, perhaps, how deeply this Hyp. Sir, I have you know, if you had man is your enemy. not been knock'd down, I should have owed Hyp. Sir, I know more of his spleen and my escape to the same arm to which you would folly than you imagine, which, if you please have owed the reward for your insolence. Pray, to discharge him, I'll acquaint you with. sir, what are you? Who knows you? Don M. Discharge him! pray consider, sirOct. I'm glad, at least, to find 'tis not don Philip that's my rival. [Aside. [They seem to talk. Sero. Sir, my master knows the gentleman Re-enter VILETTA, and gives a Note to very well; he belongs to the army. Hyp. Then, sir, if you'd have me use you like a gentleman, I desire your meaning of those familiar questions you ask'd me at the coach-side. OCTAVIO. Vil. Send your answer to me. [Apart to Oct. and exit. Oct. Now for a beam of hope in a tempest. [Aside. Reads. Oct. Faith, young gentleman, I'll be very I charge you don't hazard my ruin and short; I love the lady you are to marry; and your own by the madness of a quarrel: if you don't quit your pretences in two hours, the closet window where I am is but a step it will entail prepetual danger upon you and to the ground. Be at the back door of the your family. garden exactly in the close of the evening, Hyp. Sir, if you please, the danger's equal where you will certainly find one that may -for, rot me if I'm not as fond of cutting put you in the best way of getting rid of your throat as you can be of mine. a rival. Oct. If I were out of these gentlemens' Dear kind creature! Now, if my little don's hands, on my word, sir, you shouldn't want fit of honour does but hold out to bail me, I an opportunity. am the happiest dog in the universe. [Aside. Don M. Well, sir, since I find your honour is dipp'd so deep in the matter-Hererelease the gentleman. Hyp. O sir, these gentlemen shall protect neither of us; my friend and I'll be your bail from them. Flora. Ay, sir, we'll bail you; and if you please, sir, bring your friend; I'm his: damun me! what, d'ye think you have boys to deal with? at [Servant gives Octavio his Sword. Flora. So, sir, you have your freedom; you may depend upon us. Hyp. You will find us punctual--Sir, your servant. Oct. Sir, I ask your pardon, and shall desire to kiss your hands, about an hour hence, Oct. So, now I have a very handsome oc[Whispers. casion to put off the tilt too. [Aside.] GentleFlora. Very well, sir; we'll meet you. men, I ask your pardon; I begin to be a Hyp. Release the gentleman. little sensible of the rashness I committed; and I confess your manner of treating me has been so very much like men of honour, that I think myself obliged from the same Serv. Sir, we dare not, without my master's order: here he is, sir. Re-enter DON MANUEL. Don M. How now, bully confessor? What! principle to assure ye, that though I love Roin limbo? 1). 1) Slang for, confined. sara equal to my life, yet no consideration shall persuade me to be a rude enemy, even to my rival; I thank you for my freedom, devil's in't if you don't find an opportunity and am your humble servant. [Exit Octavio. to run away with her." Hyp. Your servant, sir.-I think we released Don M. Would you so, Mr. Dog? But my brother very handsomely; but I han't done he'll be hang'd. with him. [Aside to Flora. Don M. What can this sudden turn of civility mean? I am afraid 'tis but a cloke to some new roguery he has in his head. Hyp. I don't know how old it may be, but my servant here has discovered a piece of villany of his, that exceeds any other he be capable of. can Don M. Is it possible? Why would you let him go then? Hyp. Because I'm sure it can do me no harm, sir. Don M. Pray be plain, sir; what is it? Hyp. This fellow can inform you-For, to say truth, he's much better at a lie. [Aside. Don M. Come hither, friend: pray what is this business? Hyp. Ay; what was that you overheard between Octavio and another gentleman, at the inn where we alighted? Hyp. O sir! you'll find we were mighty fortunate in this discovery. Don M. Pray, sir, let's hear. What was this trick to be, friend? Trap. Why, sir, to alarm you, that my master was an impostor, and that Sly-looks was the true don Philip, sent by his father from Seville to marry your daughter; "upon which" (says he), "the old put" (meaning you again, sir), "will be so bamboozled, that" Don M. But pray, sir, how did young Mr. Coxcomb conclude that the old put was to believe all this? Had they no sham proofs that they proposed to bamboozle me with, as you call it? Trap. You shall hear, sir (the plot was pretty well laid too). "I'll pretend," says he, that the rascal, your rival," (meaning you then, sir) [To Hypolita] "has robb'd me of my portmanteau, where I had put up all my Trap. Why, sir, as I was unbuckling my jewels, money, and letters of recommendation portmanteau in the yard there, I observed Oc-from my father. We are neither of us known tavio and another spark very familiar with in Madrid," says he, "so that a little impuyour honour's name; upon which, sir, I prick'd dence, and a grave face, will certainly set up the ears of my curiosity, and took in all those two dogs a snarling, while you run their discourse. away with the bone." That's all, sir." Don M. Impudent rogue! Don M. Pray who was that other spark, friend? Trap. A brother-rake, sir; a damn'd sly-business pretty handsomely laid? look'd fellow. Hyp. What think ye, sir? Was not this Don M. So! Flora. How familiarly the rogue treats his old master. Hyp. Poor don Philip! Flora. Faith, it might have wrought a very ridiculous consequence. Don M. Why truly, if we had not been Aside fore-arm'd by this discovery, for aught I know, [Aside. Mr. Dog might have ran away with the bone Trap. Says one of 'em, says he, "No, damn indeed: but if you please, sir, since these inhim, the old rogue" (meaning you, sir), "will genious gentlemen are so pert upon the matnever let you have her by fair means"- ter, we'll let 'em see that you and I have wit "However," says Octavio, "I'll try soft words: enough to do our business, and e'en clap up but if those won't do"-"Bully him," says the wedding to-morrow morning. t'other. Hyp. Sir, you are too obliging-But will Don M. Ah! poor dog! but that would not your daughter, think ye, be prevail'd with? do neither: sir, he has tried 'em both to-day Don M. Sir, I'll prepare her this minuteto no purpose. it's pity; methinks, we released that bully Trup. Say you so, sir? then you'll find thoughwhat I say is all of a piece. "Well," and if Foru. We might as well have held him neither of these will do," says he, you must a little. I e'en tilt the young prig,1) your rival" (mean- Hyp. Really, sir, upon second thoughts, ing you then, sir.) [To Hypolita. wish we had-his excusing his challenge so Don M. Ha, ha! that, I perceive, my spark abruptly, makes me fancy he is in hopes of did not greatly care for. carrying his point some other way.-Did not Trap. No, sir; that he found was catching you observe your daughter's woman whisa Tartar 2). 'Sbud, my master fought like a per him? lion, sir. Hyp. Truly, I did not spare him. Flora. No, faith-after he was knock'd down. [Aside, Trap. But now, sir, comes the cream of the roguery. Hyp. Pray observe, sir. Trap. "Well," says Sly-looks, "and if all these fail, I have a rare trick in my head, that will certainly defer the marriage for three or four days at least; and in that time the 1) You must fight with the young fellow. 2) The story goes, that an Irishman in battle against the Calmucks, once called to one of his comrades, "Patrick, I have caught a Tartar". "Well, bring him along with you. "But be won't come." So, of course, the Irishman was a prisoner. Don M. Ilumh! Flora. They seem'd very busy, that's certain. Hyp. I can't say about what-but it will be worth our while to be upon our guard. Don M. I am alarm'd. Hyp. Where is your daughter at this time? Don M. I think she's pretty safe—but I'll go make her sure. Flora. Where's her woman? Don M. I'll be upon her presently — she shall be search'd for intelligence-you'll excuse me, gentlemen. Hyp. Sir, the occasion presses you. Don M. If I find all safe, I'll return immediately; and then, if you please, we'll run over some old stories of my good friend Fer nando. Your servant. [Exit. Vil. You may chance to have your bones Hyp. Sir, your most humble servant-Trap-broke, Mr. Coxcomb. panti, thou'rt a rare fellow, thou hast an ad- Trap. Sweet honeycomb, don't be so waspmirable face of brass, and when thou diest ish; or if I keep your counsel, d'ye see, I I'll have thy whole statue cast all in the don't know why my bones mayn't keep their same metal. places; but if I peach, whose bones will pay Flora. 'Twere pity the rogue was not bred for it then? to the law. Fil. Ha! the fool says true; I had better [Aside. Trap. So 'tis, indeed, sir.-A man should wheedle him. not praise himself; but if I had been bred to Trap. Don't you love money above any the gown, I dare venture to say, I become a thing in the world-except one?' lie as well as any man that wears it, and Vil. I except nothing. that's a bold word. Trap. Very good. And pray how many Hyp. Nay, now thou art modest-but, sir-letters do you expect to be paid for when rah, we have more work for ye; you must Octavio has married your mistress, and has no get in with the servants, attack the lady's wo-occasion to write to her? While they are man: there, there's ammunition, rogue. [Gives lovers, they will always have occasion for a him Money] Now try if you can make a confidant and a go-between; but when they breach into the secrets of the family. marry-Serviteur-good night vails1); our harTrap. Ah! sir, I warrant you-I could ne- vest is over-what d'ye think of me now? ver yet meet with a woman that was this sort Vil. Why I like what you say very well: of pistol-proof.-I have known a handful of but I don't know, my friend, to me-that these do more than a barrel of gunpowder. same face of yours looks like the title-page to [Exit. a whole volume of roguery.-What is't you Flora. Well, what must we do next? ACT III. drive at? Trap. Money, money, money. Don't you let your mistress marry Octavio. I'll do my [Exeunt. best to hinder my master: let you and I lay our heads together to keep them asunder, and so make a penny of 'em all three. SCENE I.-The sume. Vil. So! with much ado I have given the old don the slip; he has dangled with me through every room in the house, high and low, up stairs and down; as close to my tail as a great boy hankering after one of his mother's maids. Well, now we will see what monsieur Octavio says. [Takes a Letter from her Bosom. Trap. list! there she is, and alone: when the devil has any thing to do with a woman, sir, that's his time to take her; stand close. [Apart to Don Manuel. a letter. Vil. Look you, seignior, I'll meet you half way, and confess to you I had made a rough draught of this project myself: but say I should agree with you to go on upon't, what security can you give me for performance of articles? Trap. More than bond or judgment-my person in custody. Vil. Ah! that won't do. Trap. No, my love, why, there's many a sweet hit in't-taste it. [Offers to kiss her; she puts him away. Vil. No! Trap. Faith, you must give me one. Vil. Indeed, my friend, you are too ugly for me; though I am not handsome myself, I. Don M. Ah! he's at work already-there's love to play with those that are. [Apart. Trap. And yet, methinks, an honest fellow Trup. Leave her to me, sir; I'll read it. of my size and complexion, in a careless pos[Apart. ture, playing the fool thus with his money. Vil. Ha! two pistoles!-Well, I'll say that [Tosses a Purse; she catches it, and he for him, the man knows his business; his letters always come post paid. kisses her. Vil. Pshaw! Well, if I must, come then.[While she is reading, Trappanti steals To see how a woman may be deceived at behind, and looks over her Shoulder. first sight of a man. Dear Viletta-Convey the enclosed immediately to your mistress, and, as you prize my life, use all possible means to keep the old gentleman from the closet till you are sure she is safe out of the window. Your real friendTrap. Octavio! Vil. Ah! Trap, Madam, your ladyship's servant. [Reading [Shrieks. most humble Vil. You're very impertinent, methinks, to look over other people's letters. Trap. Why-I never read a letter in my life without looking it over. Vil. I don't know any business you had to look upon this. Trap. There's the thing - your not knowing that has put you into this passion. Trap. Nay then, take a second thought of me, child. [Kisses her again. Don M. Ha!-This is laying their heads together indeed. [Aside. Vil. Well, now get you gone; I have a letter to give to my mistress; slip into the garden-I'll come t'ye presently. Trap. Is't from Octavio? Vil. Pshaw! be gone, I say. [Snatches the Letter. Trap. Hist! [Beckons Don Manuel, who goes softly behind. Vil. Madam! Madam! ah! Don M. Now, strumpet, give me the other letter, or I'll murder you. [Draws. Vil. Ah! lud! Olud! there! there! [Squeaks. 1) Vails, are perquisites given to servants, never come too soon to Don M. Now we shall see what my gentle-] Don M. O! as for that matter, he shall see man would be at. [Reads. you presently; and I have made it his interest My dear angel-Ha! Soft and impudent-to like you-but if you are still positively reDepend upon me at the garden-door by solved upon Octavio, I'll make but few words seven this evening. Pity my impatience, and pull off your clothes and go to him. believe you can Ros. My clothes, sir? the arms of your OCTAVIO. Ah! Now would this rampant rogue make no more of debauching my gentlewoman, than the gentlewoman would of him, if he were to debauch her-hold-let's see, what does he say here?-um! um! [Reads to himself. Don M. Ay, for the gentleman shan't have a rag with you. Ros. I am not in haste to be starved, sir. Don M. Then let me see you put on your best airs, and receive don Philip as you should do. Ros. When do you expect don Philip, sir? Vil. What a stupid wench was I to be- Don M. Expect him; sir! he has been here lieve this old fool durst do me any harm! this hour-I only staid to get you out of the but a fright's the devil. [Aside. sullens.-He's none of your hum-drums, all Don M. [Reads] Um! um!-Sure she is life and mettle! Odzooks, he has the courage safe out of the window. O! there the mine of a cock; a duel's but a dance to him: he is to be sprung then. Now, gentlewoman, has been at sa! sa!1)-sa for you already. what do you think in your conscience I ought| Ros. Well, sir, I shan't be afraid of his to do to ye? courage, since I see you are resolved he shall Vil. What I think in my conscience you'll be the man. He shall find me a woman, sir, not do to me, make a friend of me-You see, let him win me and wear me as soon as sir, I dare be an enemy. you please. Don M. Nay, thou dost not want courage, I say that for thee: but is it possible any thing can make thee honest? Don M. Ah! now thou art my own girl; hold but in this humour one quarter of an hour, and I'll toss thee t'other bushel of doub Vil. What do you suppose would make loons into thy portion-Here, bid a-Come, me otherwise? Don M. Money. Vil. You have nick'd it. I'll fetch him myself-she's in a rare cue, faith: ah! if he does but nick her now. [Exit. Ros. Now I have but one card to playDon M. And would the same sum make if that don't hit, my hopes are crush'd indeed: thee surely one as t'other? if this young spark ben't a downright coxcomb, Vil. That I can't say neither: one must be I may have a trick to turn all yet.-Dear forheavier than t'other, or else the scale can't turn. tune, give him but common sense, I'll make Don M. Say it be so; would that turn thee it impossible for him to like me-Here they into my interest? [Walks carelessly, and sings. Re-enter DON MANUEL, with HYPOLITA. Song.. Vil. The very minute you turn into mine, sir: judge yourself-Here stands Octavio with a letter, and two pieces to give it to my mistress-there stand you with a hem! and four pieces where would the letter go, d'ye think? Don M. There needs no more-I'm convinced, and will trust thee-there's to encourage thee beforehand; [Gives her Money] and when thou bring'st me a letter of Octavio's, I'll double the sum. Vil. Sir, I'll do't-and will take care he shall write presently. [Aside. Don M. Now, as you expect I should believe you, be gone, and take no notice of what I have discover'd. come. Divinely fair, so heav'nly form'd, Such native innocence she wears; You cannot wonder that I'm charm'd Whene'er the lovely maid appears. Her smiles might warm an anchorite, Her artless glances teach him sin; Yet in her soul such charms unite, As might the coldest stoic win. my Hyp. Madam, I kiss your ladyship's hands; I find by your gaiety, you are no stranger to Fil. Oh, I am dumb, dumb, dumb, sir. [Exit. my business; perhaps you expected I should Don M. So! this was done like a wise ge- have come in with a grave bow and a long neral: and now I have taken the counterscarp, therefore, if you please, madam, we'll cut speech; but affair is in a little more haste: there may be some hopes of making the town the work short, be thoroughly intimate at the capitulate.-Rosara! [Unlocks the Closet. first sight, and see one another's humours in Enter ROSARA. a quarter of an hour, as well as if we had been weary of them this twelvemonth. Ros. Troth, sir, I think you are very much in the right; the sooner I see you, the sooner I shall know whether I like you or not. Ros. Did you call me, sir? Don M. Ay, child: come, be cheerful; what I have to say to you, I'm sure ought to make you so. Hyp. Pshaw! as for that matter, you'll find me a very fashionable husband. I shan't ex[Aside. Pect my wife to be over fond of me. Ros. He has certainly made some discovery: Viletta did not cry out for nothing-What shall I do?-dissemble. Don M. In one word, set your heart at rest, for you shall marry don Philip this very evening. Ros. That's but short warning for the gentleman, as well as myself; for I don't know that we ever saw one another. How are you sure he will like me? Ros. But I love to be in the fashion too, sir, in taking the man I have a mind to. Hyp. Say you so? why then take me as soon as you please. 1) The old gentleman here puts himself in a fencing posture, lifting his stick, and lunging forward, saying, at every lange: ça! ça! like a French fencing-master giving a lesson, Ros. I only stay for my mind, sir: as soon in the French city fashion, content to a degree. as ever that comes to me, upon my word I Now here in Spain, child, we have such am ready to wait upon you. things as back rooms, barred windows, hard Hyp. Well, madam, a quarter of an hour fare, poison, daggers, bolts, chains, and shall break no squares 1)-Sir, if you'll find so forth. an occasion to leave us alone, I see we shall Ros. Ay, sir, and there are such things as come to a right understanding presently. bribes, plots, shams, letters, lies, walls, lad Don M. I'd do't, sir; well, child, speak, in ders, keys, confidants, and so forth. thy conscience, is not he a pretty fellow? Hyp. Hey! a very complete regiment inRos. The gentleman's very well, sir; but deed! what a world of service might these methinks he's a little too young for a husband. do in a quarter of an hour, with a woman's Don M. Young! a fiddle: you'll find him courage at the head of 'em! Really, madam, old enough for a wife, I warrant ye: sir, your dress and humour have the prettiest loose must beg your pardon for a moment; but if French air, something so quality, that let me you please, in the mean time, I'll leave you die, madam, I believe in a month I should my daughter, and so pray make the best of be apt to poison ye. her. [Exit. Ros. So! it takes! [Aside] And let me die, Hyp. I thank ye, sir. [Hypolita_stands sir, I believe I should be apt to deserve it of ye. some time mute, looks carelessly at Rosara, Hyp. I shall certainly do't. and smiles as in contempt] Why now methinks, madam, you had as good put on a real smile, for I am doom'd to be the happy man, you see. Ros. So my father says, sir. Hyp. I'll take his word. Ros. A bold man-but he'll break it. Hyp. Whether he will or no? Ros. He must. Ros. He can't help it now. I Ros. It must be in my breakfast then-for should certainly run away before the wedding dinner came up. Hyp. That's over-acted, but I'll startle her. [Aside] Then I must tell you, madam, a Spanish husband may be provoked as well as a wife. As for your inclination, I'll keep your person honest, however; you shall be lock'd up, and if you don't love me then-I'll stab ye. [Carelessly. Ros. With what? Your words? it must be those you say after the priest then-You'll Ros. Because he has promised you, you be able to do very little else that will reach shall marry me; and he has always promised me I should marry the man I could love, Hyp. Ay-that is, he would oblige you to love the man you should marry. Hyp. How so, pray? Ros. The man that I marry will be sure of my love; but for the man that marries memercy on him. my heart, I assure ye. Hyp. Come, come, this humour is as much affected as my own: I could no more bear the qualities you say you have, than I know you are guilty of 'em: your pretty arts, in striving to avoid, have charmed me. At my first view I wooed ye only to secure a sordid Hyp. No matter for that, I'll marry you. fortune, which now I, overjoy'd, could part Ros. Come, I don't believe you are so ill-with; nay, with life, with any thing, to purchase your unrivall'd heart. natur'd. Hyp. Why, dost thou not like me, child? Hyp. What's the matter? Ros. The old fault. Hyp. What? Ros. I don't like you. Hyp. Is that all? Ros. No. Hyp. That's hard-the rest. Hyp. I'll stand it—try me. Ros. Now I am plunged indeed. [Aside] Well, sir, I own you have discovered me; and since you have obliged me to be serious, I now from my sincerity protest my heart's already given, from whence no power nor interest shall recall it. Hyp. I hate my interest, and would owe no power or title but to love. Ros. If, as you say, you think I find a charm in virtue, you'll know too there's a charm in constancy: you ought to scorn me, Ros. Why then, in short, I like another: should I flatter you with hope, since now another man, sir, has got into my head, and you are assured I must be false before I can made such work there, you'll never be able to be yours: if what I have said seems cold, or set me to rights as long as you live.-What too neglectful of your merit, call it not ind'ye think of me now, sir? Won't this serve gratitude or scorn, but faith unmoved, and for a reason why you should not marry me? justice to the man I love. Hyp. Um-the reason is a pretty smart sort Hyp. Well, madam, to let you see I am a of a reason truly, but it won't do-to be short friend to love, though love's an enemy to me, with ye, madam, I have reason to believe I give me but a seeming proof that Octavio is shall be disinherited if I don't marry you. the undisputed master of your heart, and I'll Ros. And what have you reason to believe forego the power your father's obligations give you shall be if you do marry me? me, and throw my hopes into his arms with you. Hyp. In the Spanish fashion I suppose, jealous to a degree. Ros. You may be in the English fashion, and something else to a degree. Hyp. Oh! if I have not courage enough to prevent that, madam, let the world think me 1) Make no disagreement. Ros. Sir, you confound me with this goodness. Command me to what proof you please; or if you'll trust to my sincerity, let these tears of joy convince you: here, on my knees, by all my hopes of peace I swear. Hyp. Hold-Swear never to make any your husband but Octavio. other |