cer; I was a little too free in speaking my told his neighbours he loved her never the mind to him. worse; but he was resolved she should never know it. Hyp. Don't you think of serving again, sir? Trap. a good post falls in my way. Нур. believe I could help you.-Pray, sir, when you served last, did you take pay or wages? Trap. Pay, sir!-Yes, sir, I was paid, clear'd subsistence and arrears to a farthing. Hyp. And your late commander's name was- You don't Hyp. Sir, your most humble servant. need not be curious; for I am sure you know me, though I do you, and your condition; which I dare promise you I'll mend upon our better acquaintance. And your first step to deserve it, is to answer me honestly to a few questions: keep your assurance still; it may do me service, I shall like you better for it: come, here's to encourage you. [Gives him Money. Trap. Sir, my humble service to you. Hyp. Well said. Flora. Nay, I'll pass my word he shan't dwindle into modesty. Trap. I never heard a gentleman talk better in my life. I have seen such a sort of face before, but where-I don't know, nor I don't care. It's your glass, sir. Hyp. Grammercy! here, cousin! [Drinks to Flora] Come, now, what made don Philip turn you out of his service? Why did you leave him? Trap. 'Twas time, I think; his wits had left him--the man was mad. Hyp. Mad! Trap. Ay, stark mad-in love. Trap. Very deep-up to the ears, over head, drown'd by this time, he would in-I would have had him stopp'd when he was up to the middle. Hyp. What was she he was in love with? Hyp. So now for a very ugly likeness of Hyp. Did she use him so very ill? Fiora, How d'ye do now? [Apart. Hyp. Was she ugly? Flora. Ay, say that at your peril. [Aside. Flora. How d'ye like the picture, madam? Hyp. I am as humble as an offending lover. Re-enter Host. [Apart. [Apart. Host. Gentlemen, your dinner's upon table. [Exit. Hyp. That's well! Come, sir, at dinner I'll give you further instructions how you may serve yourself and me. Trap. Come, sir. [To Flora. Flora. Nay, dear sir, no ceremony. Trap. Sir, your very humble servant. [As they are going, Hypolita stops them. Hyp. Come back; here's one I don't care should see me. Trap. Sir, the dinner will be cold, Hyp. Do you eat it hot then; we are not hungry. Trap. Sir, your humble servant again. [Exit. Flora. You seem concern'd; who is it? Hyp. My brother Octavio, as I live-Come this way. [They retire. Enter OCTAVIO and a Servant. Re-enter Host, conducting DON PHILIP. Trap. Her Christian name was donna Hy-him to me immediately. polita: but her proper name was Shittlecock. Flora, How d'ye like that? [Apart to Hypolita. Hyp. Pretty well. [Apart] Was she hand some? Trap. Umph!-so, so! Flora. How d'ye like that? [Apart. Hyp. Umph!-so, so! [Apart] Had she wit? Hyp. Good humour? Trap. Very seldom. Hyp. Proud? Trap. Ever. Hyp. Was she honest? Trap. Very proud. Hyp. What! had she no good qualities? Host. Yes, sir. Hyp. Nay, then it's time for us to make ready-Allons! [Apart. Exeunt Hypolita and Flora. Oct. Don Philip! Don P. Dear Octavio! Oct. What lucky point of the compass could blow us upon one another so? Don P. Faith! a wind very contrary to my inclination: but the worst I see blows some good; I am overjoy'd to see you. But what makes you so far from the army? Oct. O, friend, such an unfortunate occasion, yet such a lucky discovery! such a mixture of joy and torment no poor dog upon earth was ever plagued with. Don P. Unriddle, pray. Oct. Don't you remember, about six months Trap. If she did, 'twas as the cobler loved ago, I wrote you word of a dear, delicious, Hyp. How was that? [his wife. sprightly creature, that I had bombarded for Trap. Why he beat her thrice a day, and a whole summer to no purpose? Don P. I remember. (she loving you), my friendship and my hoOct. That same silly, stubborn, charming nour would oblige me to desist. angel now capitulates. Don P. Then she's taken. Oct. I can't tell that; for you must know, her perfidious father, contrary to his treaty with me, and her inclination, is going toDon P. Marry her to another? Oct. Of a better estate than mine, it seems. There's her express; read it. Oct. That's generous indeed! But still you amaze me. Are you quite broke off with my sister? I hope she has given you no reason to forget her? Don P. The most severe that ever beauty printed in the heart of man, a coldness unaccountable to sense. Oct. Pshaw! dissembled. Don P. I can't think it; lovers are soon HYPOLITA, FLORA, and TRAPPANTI, appear flattered into hope; but she appeared to me in the Balcony, indifferent to so nice a point, that she has Flora. Trappanti, there's your old master. ruined me without the trouble of resolving it. [Apart. Oct. For all her usage of you, I'll be racked Trap. Ay, I know him again: but I may if she did not love you. chance to tell him he did not know a good Don P. I rather think she hated me: howservant when he had him. [Apart. ever, now 'tis past, and I must endeavour to Don P. That's my business to Madrid. Don P. [Reads] My father has concluded think no more of her. a match for me with one I never saw, and Oct. Then you are determined to marry intends in two days to perfect it; the gen- this other lady? tleman is expected every hour. In the mean time, if you know any friend that has a better title to me, advise him forthwith to put in his claim: I am almost out of my senses; which you'll easily believe, when I tell you, if such a one should make haste, I shan't have time to refuse him any thing. Hyp. How's this? Don P. No name. [Apart. [Apart. Don P. Besides, I am now obliged by contract. Oct. Then (though she be my sister) may some jealous, old, ill-natured dog revenge your quarrel to her. Don P. Come, forget it. [Exeunt Hypolita, Flora, and Trappanti. Oct. She never would trust it in a letter. Oct. With all my heart; let's go in and Flora. If this should be don Philip's mis- drink your new mistress's health. When do tress! [Apart. you visit her? Trap. Sir, you may take my word it is; I Don P. I intended it immediately; but an know the lady, and what the neighbours say unlucky accident has hinder'd me; one of my of her. [Apart. servants fell sick upon the road, so that I am Don P. What will you do in this case? forced to make shift with one, and he is the Oct. That I don't yet know; I have just most negligent, sottish rogue in nature, has sent my servant to tell her I am come to town, left the portmanteau, where all my writings and beg an opportunity to speak with her: I and letters of concern are, behind him at the long to see her: I warrant the poor fool will last town we lay, so that I can't properly visit be so soft and humble, now she's in a fright. the lady or her father till I am able to assure Don P. What will you propose at your them who I am. meeting her? : Oct. Why don't you go back yourself to Oct. I don't know, may be another meet-see for 'em? ing at least it will come to a kind look, a kiss, good by, and a sigh!-ah! if I can but persuade her to run away with me. Don P. Consider! Oct. Ah! so I do; what a pleasure 'twould be to have her steal out of her bed in a sweet, moonshiny night! to hear her come pat, pat, pat, along in her slippers, with nothing but a thin silk night-gown loose about her; and in this tempting dress to have her jump into my arms breathless with fear. Don P. Octavio, I envy thee; thou art the happiest man in thy temper Don P. I have sent my servant; for I am really tired: I was loath to appear too much concern'd for 'em, lest the rascal should think it worth his while to run away with 'em. Re-enter a Servant to OCTAVIO. Sero. Here's an answer, sir. [Gives a Letter. Oct. My dear friend, I beg a thousand pardons, I must leave you this minute; the kind creature has sent for me; I am a soldier, you know, and orders must be obey'd; when I come off duty, I'll immediately wait upon you. [To Don Philip. Oct. And thou art the most alter'd I ever knew: pr'ythee what makes thee so much upon the hum-drum?1) Well, are my sister and adieu. [Exit Octavio] Here, house! you come to a right understanding yet? When do you marry ? Don P. You'll find me here, or hear of me: Don P. My condition, Octavio, is very much like your mistress's: she is going to marry the man she never saw, and the woman. Oct. 'Sdeath! you make me tremble: I hope 'tis not my mistress. Don P. Thy mistress! that were an idle fear; Madrid's a wide place. Or if it were *) Melancholy. Re-enter Host. Pr'ythee see if my servant be come yet. Host. Just refreshing himself with a glass at the gate. Don P. Pray tell the gentleman I'd speak with him. [Exit Host] In all the necessaries of life there is not a greater plague than servants. Hey, Soto! Soto! Enter Soro, drunk. Odso! I had like to have forgot─Here, house! Soto. Did you please to-such!-call, sir? a bason and washball-I've a razor about me. Don P. What's the reason, blockhead, I-Hey! must always wait upon you thus? Soto. Sir, I did not know any thing of it; I-I-came as soon as you se-se-se-sent for me. Don P. And why not without sending, sir? Did you think I expected no answer to the business I sent you about? Soto. Yes, sir-I did think you would be willing-that is-to have an account-so I staid to take a glass at the door, because I would not be out of the way--huh! Don P. You are drunk, rascal-where's the portmanteau? Soto. Sir, I am here-if you please, I'll give you the whole account how the matter is-huh! Don P. Speak, villain. [Strikes him. Hyp. What's the matter? [Knocks. Trap. Ever while you live, sir, go with a smooth chin to your mistress. Hey! [Knocks. Hyp. This puppy does so plague me with his impertinence, I shall laugh out, and discover myself. [Aside. Trap. Why, Diego! [Knocks. Hyp. Pshaw! pr'ythee don't stand fooling, we're in haste. Flora. Ay, ay, shave another time. Trap. Nay, what you please, sir; your beard is not much, you may wear it to-day. [Taking her by the Chin. Flora. Ay, and to-morrow too: pray, sir, Soto. I will, sir, as soon as I can put my will you see the coach ready, and put in the words into an intelligible order; I an't run-things? ning away, sir. Don P. To the point, sirrah! Trap. Sir, I'll see the coach ready, and put in the things. [Exit. Flora. Come, madam, courage; now let's do something for the honour of our sex, give a proof of our parts, and tell mankind we can contrive, fatigue, bustle, and bring about as well as the best of 'em. Soto. Sir, as I hope to breathe, I made all the strictest search in the world, and drank at every house upon the road, going and coming, Hyp. Well said, Flora: for the honour of and ask'd about it; and so at last, as I was our sex be it then, and let the grave dons coming within a mile of the town here, I think themselves as wise as they please; but found thennature knows there goes more wit to the management of some amours, than the hardest point in politics. Don P. What? me? Soto. That it must certainly be lost. Don P. Dog! d'ye think this must satisfy [Beats him. Soto. Lord, sir, you won't hear reasonAre you sure you han't it about you?—If I know any thing of it, I wish I may be burnt. Don P. Villain! your life can't make me satisfaction. Soto. No, sir, that's hard-a man's life can't. -for my part—I—I— Don P. Why do I vent my rage against a sot, a clod of earth? I should accuse myself for trusting him. Soto. Sir Don P. Be dumb! Soto. Abuh! Yes. Therefore to men th' affair of state's confin'd, ACT II. SCENE I-DON MANUEL'S House. Ros. Talk of Octavio then. Vil. How do you know but the gentleman your father designs you for, may prove as pretty a fellow as he? if you should hopen to like him as well. Ros. Do you expect Octavio should thank you for this? Vil. The gentleman is no fool. Don P. If this rascal had stole it, sure he would not have ventured to come back again -I am confounded! Neither don Manuel nor his daughter know me, nor any of his family. to his love. Ros. He'll hate any one that is not a friend If I should not visit him till I can receive fresh Vil. Hang 'em, say I: but can't one quench letters from my father, he'll in the mean time the thirst without jumping into the river? Is think himself affronted by my neglect-What there no difference between cooling and drownshall I do? Suppose I go and tell him my ing? If Octavio must be the man, I say, let misfortune, and beg his patience till we can don Philip be the husband. hear again from Seville. I must think! Hey, Ros. I tell you, fool, I'll have no man but Soto! [Exit. a husband, and no husband but Octavio: when Soto. I had rather bought a portmanteau you find I am weary of him, I'll give you out of my own pocket, than had such a life leave to talk to me of somebody else. [Exit. Vil. In vain, I see.-I ha' done, madamone must have time to be wise; but in the mean while what do ye resolve? Positively not to marry don Philip. about it. Re-enter HYPOLITA, FLORA, and TRAPPANTI. Trap. Hold, sir, let me touch up your foretop1) a little. Hyp. Well, Trappanti, you know your business; and if I marry the lady, you know my promise too. Trap. Sir, I shall remember 'em both1) Fore-top is the hair on the fore part of the head. Ros. I don't know what I shall do, till I Vil. I am bribed to the contrary. Vil. Octavio! he just now sent me this seem wicked: hussy, you shall confess for lovely piece of gold, not to tell you what time her; I'll have her send her sins by you, you he would be here. know 'em, I'm sure; but I'll know what the friar has got out of her.-Save you, father. Oct. Bless you, son. Ros. Nay then, Viletta, here are two pieces that are twice as lovely; tell me when I shall see him. Vil. Umph! these are lovely pieces indeed. [Smiling. Ros. When, Viletta? Vil. Have you no more of 'em, madam? Don M. How now, what's become of father Benedict? Why is not he here? Vil. Sir, he is not well, and so desired this gentleman, his brother here, to officiate for him. Don M. le seems very young for a con Ros. Pshaw! there, take purse and all; will fessor. that content thee? Ros. When will he come? [Aside. Vil. Ay, sir! he has not been long at it. Vil. O! dear madam, I should be uncon- Oct. Nor don't desire to be long in it; I scionable to desire more; but really, I was hope I understand it well enough to make a willing to have 'em all first. [Courtesying. fool of my old don here. Don M. Well, sir! how do you find the Vil. Why the poor gentleman has been pulse of iniquity beat there? What sort of hankering about the house this quarter of an sin has she most stomach to? hour; but I did not observe, madam, you Oct. Why truly, sir, we have all frailties, were willing to see him, till you had con- and your daughter has had most powerful vinced me by so plain a proof. temptations. Ros. Where's my father? Vil. Fast asleep in the great chair. Ros. Fetch him in then before he wakes. Vil. Ay, madam, he's turn'd friar to come at you: if your father surprises us, I have a lie ready to back him-Hist, Octavio, you may enter. Enter OCTAVIO, in a Friar's Habit. Oct. After a thousand frights and fears, do I live to see my dear Rosara once again, and kind? Ros. What shall we do, Octavio? [Looking kindly on him. Oct. Kind creature! do! why as lovers should do; what nobody can undo; let's run away this minute, tie ourselves fast in the church-knot, and defy fathers and mothers. Ros. And fortunes too? Oct. Pshaw! we shall have it one day: they must leave their money behind 'em. Ros. Suppose you first try my father's good nature? You know he once encouraged your addresses. Oct. First let's be fast married; perhaps he may be good-natured when he can't help it; whip a suit of night-clothes into your pocket, and let's march off in a body together. Ros. Ah! my father. Oct. Dead! Vil. To your function. Enter DON MANUEL. Don M. Viletta. Vil. Sir. Don M. Where's my daughter? Don M. Disturb her! why what's the matter? Don M. Confession! I don't like that; a young woman ought to have no sins at all. Vil. Ah! dear sir, there's no living without 'em. Don M. I find her aversion to the marriage I have proposed her, has put her upon disobedient thoughts: there can be no confession without guilt. Vil. Nor no pardon, sir, without confession. Don M. Nay, the devil has been very busy with her these two days. Oct. She has told me a most lamentable story. Don M. Ten to one but this lamentable story proves a most damnable lie. Oct. Indeed, son, I find by her confession, that you are much to blame for your tyranuical government of her. Don M. Hey-day! what has the jade been inventing sins for me, and confessing 'em instead of her own? Let me come-she shall he lock'd up till she repents 'em too. Oct. Son, forbear: this is now a corroboration of your guilt: this is inhuman. Don M. Sir, I have done: but pray, if you please, let's come to the point: what are these terrible cruelties that this tender lady accuses me of? Oct. Nay, sir, mistake her not: she did not, with any malicious design, expose your faults, but as her own depended on 'em: her frailties were the consequence of your cruelty. Don M. Let's have 'em both antecedent and consequent. Oct. Why she confess'd her first maiden, innocent affection, had long been settled upon a young gentleman, whose love to her you once encouraged; and after their most solemn vows of mutual faith, you have most barbarously broke in upon her hopes, and to the utter ruin of her peace, contracted her to a man she never saw. Don M. Very good, I see no harm in all this. Oct. Methinks the welfare of a daughter, sir, might be of weight enough to make you serious. Don M. Serious! so I am, sir; what the devil must I needs be melancholy because I have got her a good husband? Oct. Her melancholy may tell you, sir, she can't think him a good one. Don M. Sir, I understand thinking better than she, and I'll make her take my word. Oct. What have you to object against the man she likes? Don M. The man I like! Oct. Suppose the unhappy youth she loves should throw himself distracted at your feet, and try to melt you into pity. Don M. Ay! That's if he can. Don M. Sir, I shall not refuse him any that offers at Rosara's love shall have one virthing; that I am sure will signify nothing. tue, courage, at least; I'll be his proof of that, Oct. Were you one moment to reflect upon and ere he steps before me, force him to dethe pangs which separated lovers feel, were serve her. [Exit Octavio. nature dead in you, that thought might Don M. Ah! poor fellow! he's mad now, wake her. and does not know what he would be at:Don M. Sir, when I am ask'd to do a thing But, however, 'twill be no harm to provide I have not a mind to do, my nature sleeps against him-Who waits there? like a top1). Enter a Servant. Oct. Then I must tell you, sir, this obsti-Run you for an alguazile, and bid your fellows nacy obliges me, as a churchman, to put you arm themselves, I expect mischief at my door in mind of your duty and to let you know immediately: if Octavio offers any disturbance, too, you ought to pay more reverence to our knock him down, and bring him before me. order. Don M. Sir, I am not afraid of the sin of marrying my daughter to the best advantage: and so if you please, father, you may walk home again-when any thing lies upon my conscience I'll send for you. [Exit Servant. Vil. Hist! don't I hear my mistress's voice? Ros. [Within] Viletta! Vil. Here! here, madam-bless me, what's this? [Viletta listens at the Closet Door, and Rosara thrusts a Billet to her through the Key-hole. Oct. Nay then, 'tis time to claim a lover's right, and to tell you, sir, the man that dares Ha! to ask Rosara from me is a villain. [Throws off his disguise. Vil. So! here will be fine work! Don M. Octavio! the devil! a billet-to Octavio-a-hem. 1 [Puts it into her Bosom. Don M. How now, hussy; what are you [Aside. fumbling about that door for? there? my Vil. Yes, sir, I let him in. Oct. You'll find me one, unless you do me see if my mistress had done prayers yet. speedy justice: since not the bonds of honour, Don M. Oh! she had as good let 'em alone, nature, nor submissive reason can oblige you, for she shall never come out, 'till she has I am reduced to take a surer, shorter way, stomach enough to fall to upon the man I and force you to be just. I leave you, sir, have provided for her. But hark you, Mrs. to think on't. [Walks about angrily. Modesty, was it you, pray, that let in Don M. Ah! here's a confessor! ah! that that able comforter for babe of grace jade of mine-and that other jade of my jade's -here has been rare doings!-Well! it shan't [Pertly. hold long, madam shall be noosed to-morrow Don M. Did you so?- Ha! then if you morning-Ha! sir's in a great passion here, please, madam - I'll let you out-go-go-get but it won't do those long strides, don, will a sheet of brown paper, pack up your things; never bring you the sooner to your mistress and let me never see that damn'd ugly face -Rosara! step into that closet, and fetch my of thine as long as I live. spectacles off the table there. Tum, tum! [Sings. Vil. Bless me, sir, you are in a strange Vil. I don't like the old gentleman's looks. humour, that you won't know when a servant does as she should do. [Aside. Vil. Sir, you have lock'd my mistress in. Don M, Tum! dum! dum! Don M. Tum! dum! dum! Oct. You might afford me at least, as I am a gentleman, a civil answer, sir. Don M. Thou art strangely impudent. Vil. Yes-but 'twas in disguise-for I did not design you should see him, because I know you did not care my mistress should see him. Vil. And you know, sir, that the sin of loving him had lain upon her conscience a great while; so I thought it high time she should come to a thorough confession. Don M. Hah! Don M. Why then, in one word, sir, you shall not marry my daughter; and as you are a gentleman, I'm sure you wont think it good manners to stay in my house, when I sub-let him in; that's all. missively beg of you to walk out. Vil. So upon this, sir, as you see—I—I—I Don M. Nay, if it be so as thou say'st, he was a proper confessor indeed. Vil. Well, sir, and judge you now if my mistress is not beholden to me. Oct. You are the father of my mistress, and something, sir, too old, to answer as you ought, this wrong; therefore I'll look for reparation where I can with honour take it; Don. M. Oh! extremely; but you'll go to and since you have obliged me to leave your hell, my dear, for all this; though perhaps house, I'll watch it carefully, I'll know who you'll choose that place; I think you never dares enter it. This, sir, be sure of, the man much car'd for your husband's company; and if I don't mistake, you sent him to heaven in 1) The children, in playing with their tops, say, when it turns round with such velocity as to appear to stand the old road. [Clash] Hark! what noise is still, that il sleeps. that? [Noise without. Exit Viletta. |