used to ,

casion of it; I thought I had given you money, Lady T. Your style, my lord, is much of three months ago,

to satisfy all these sort the same delicacy with your sentiments of of people.

honour! Lady T. Yes; but you see they never are Lord T. Madam, madam, this is no time to be satisfied.

for compliments--I have done with you. Lord T. Nor am I, madam, longer to be Lady T. Done with me! If we had never abused thus-what's become of the last five met, my lord, I had not broke my heart for hundred I gave you?

it-but have a care; I may not, perhaps, be Lady T. Gone.

so easily recalled as you may imagine. Lord T. Gone! what way, madam?

Lord T. Recalled!' Who's there? Lady T. Half the town over, I believe, by

Enter WILLIAMS: this time.

Lord T. 'Tis well; I see ruin will make no Desire my sister and Mr. Manly to walk up. impression, till it falls upon you.

[Exit Williams. Lady T. In short, my lord, if money is Lady T. My lord, you may proceed as you always the subject of our conversation, I shall please; but pray what indiscretions have I make you no answer.

committed, that are not daily, practised by a Lord T. Madam, madam, I will be heard, hundred other women of quality? and make you answer.

Lord T. 'Tis not the number of ill wives, Lady T. Make me! Then I must tell you, madam, that makes the patience of a husband my lord, this is a language. I have not been less contemptible; and though a bad one may and I won't bear it.

be the best man's lot, yet he'll make a belter Lord T. Come, come, madam, you shall figure in the world, that keeps his misforbear a great deal more, before I part with you. tunes out of doors, than he that tamely keeps

Lady T. My lord, if you insult me, you them within. . will have as much to bear on your side, I Lady T. I don't know what figure you may can assure you.

make, my lord; but I shall have no reason to Lord T. Pooh! your spirit grows ridicu- be ashamed of mine, in whatever company I lousl-you have neither bonour, worth, or may meet you. innocence to support it.

Lord T. "Be sparing of your spirit, madam; Lady T. You'll find at least I have resent- you'll need it to support you. ment; and do you look well to the provocation. Lord T. After those you have given me,

Enter LADY GRACE and Manly. madam, 'tis almost infamous to talk with you. Mr. Manly, ! have an act of friendship to beg

Ludy T. I scorn your imputation and your of you, which wants more apologies than menaces. The narrowness of your heart is words can make for it. your monitor—'tis there, there, my lord, you Man. Then pray make none, my lord, that are wounded; you have less to complain of I may have the greater merit in obliging you. than many husbands of an equal rank'ro you, Lord T. Sister, I have the same excuse to

Lord 1. Death, madam! do you presume entreat of you too. upon your corporeal merit, that your person's Lady G. To your request, I beg, my lord. less tainted than your mind? Is it there, there Lord T. Thus then As you both were alone, an honest husband can be injured ? present at my ill-considered marriage, I now Have you not every other vice that can de- desire you each will be a witness of


debase your

birth or stain the heart of woman? termined separation- I know, sir, your good Is not your health, your beauty, husband, nature, and my sister's, must be shocked at fortune, family disclaimed-for nights con- the office I impose on you; but as I don't sumed in riot and extravagance? The wanton ask your justification of my causé, so I hope does no more - if she conceals her shame, you are conscious that an ill woman can't does less; and sure the dissolute avowed, as reproach you, if you are silent on her side. sorely wrongs my honour and my quiet. Man. My lord, I never thought, till now,

Lady T. I see, my lord, what sort of wife it could be difficult to oblige you. might please you.

Lord T. For you, my lady 'Townly, I need Lord T. Ungrateful woman! could you have not here repeat the provocations of my partseen yourself, you in yourself had seen her- ing with you—the world, I fear, is too well I am amazed our legislature has left no prece- informed of them-For the good' lord, your dent of a divorce, for this more visible in- dear father's sake, I will still support you as jury, this adultery of the mind, as well as his daughter. - As the Lord Townly's wife, that of the person! When a woman's whole you have had every thing a fond husband heart is alienated to pleasures I bave oo share could bestow, and, to our mutual shame I in, what is it to me, whether a black ace, or speak it, more than happy wives desire-But a powdered coxcomb, has possession of it? those indulgencies must end-state, equipage,

Lady T. If you have not found it yet, my and splendour, but ill become the vices that lord, this is not the way to get possession of misuse them-The decent necessaries of life mine, depend upon it.

shall be supplied, but not one article to luxury Lord T. That, madam, I have long despaired - not even the coach, that waits to carry you of; and, since our happiness cannot be mu- from hence, shall you ever use again. Your tual, 'tis fit that, with our hearts, our persons tender aunt, my Lady Lovemore, with tears, too should separate.- This house you sleep no this morning, has consented to receive you; more in; though your content might grossly where, if time and your condition bring you feed

upon the dishonour of a husband, yet my to a due reflection, your allowance shall be desires would starve upon the features of a wifé. increased but if you still are lavish of your

little, or pine for past licentious pleasures, father's firm commands enjoined me to make that little shall be less; nor will I call that choice of one, I even there declined the liberty soul my

friend that names you in my hearing. he gave, and to his own election yielded up -Ob, Manly, look there! turn back thy thoughts my youth-his tender care, my lord, directed with me, and witness to my growing love.-bim to you.-Our hands were joined, but still There was a time, when I believed that form my heart was wedded to its folly. - My only incapable of vice or of decay; there I proposed joy was power, command, society, profuseness, the partner of an easy home; there I for ever and to lead in pleasures. — The husband's right hoped to find a cheerful companion, a faithful to rule I thought a vulgar law, which only friend, a useful helpmate, and a tender mother the deformed or meanly spirited obeyed.-I -but, oh, how bitter now the disappointment: knew no directors but my passions, no master

Man. The world is different in its sense of but my will.-Even you, my lord, sometime happiness; offended as you are, I know you o'ercome by love, were pleased with my dewill still be just.

ligbls; nor then foresaw this mad misuse of Lord T. Fear me not.

your indulgence.--And though I call myself Man. This last reproach, I see, has struck ungrateful while I own it, yet as a truth it her!

[Aside. cannot be denied, that kind indulgence has Lord T. No, let me not (though I this mo- undone me; it added strength to my habitual ment cast ber from my heart for ever), let failings, and, in a heart thus warm in wild, me not urge her punishment beyond her unthinking life, no wonder if the gentler sense crimes-I know the world is fond of any tale of love was lost. that feeds its appetite of scandal; - and as I Lord T. Oh, Manly! where has this creaam conscious severities of this kind seldom fail ture's heart been buried ?

[-Apart. of impulations too gross to mention, I bere, Man. If yet recoverable, how vast the treabefore you both, acquit her of the least sus- sure!

[-Apart: picion raised against the honour of my bed. Lady T. What I have said, my lord, is not Therefore, when abroad her conduct may be my excuse, but my confession; my errors questioned, do her fame that justice. (give them, if you please, a barder name) Lady T. Oh, sister!

cannot be defended-No, what's in its nature [Turns to Lady Grace, weeping. wrong, no words can palliate— no plea can Lord T. When I am spoken of, where, alter! What then remains in my condition, without favour, this action may be canvassed, but resignation to your pleasure?' Time only relate but half my provocations, and give me can convince you of my future conduct: thereup to censure.

Going. fore, till I have lived an object of forgiveness, Lady T. Support me - save me -hide me I dare not hope for pardon - The penance of from the world!

a lonely, contrite life, were little to the inno[Falling on Lady Grace's Neck. cent; but, to have deserved this separation, Lord T. [Returning] I had forgot me-will strew perpetual thorns upon my pillow. You have no share in my resentment, there--Sister, farewell! [Kisses her] Your virtue fore, as you have lived in friendship with her, needs no warning from the shame that falls your parting may admit of gentler terms than on me; but when you think I have atoned my suit the honour of an injured husband. follies past, persuade your injured brother to

Offers to go out. forgive them. Man. [Interposing] My lord, you must Lord T. No, madam! your errors, thus renot, shall not, leave her thus !-One moment's nounced, this instant are forgotten! So deep, stay can do your cause no wrong. If looks so due a sense of them has made you what can speak the anguish of her heart, I'll an- my utmost wishes form'd, and all my heart swer, with my life, there's something labouring has sigh'd for.-Long parted friends, that pass in her nind, that, would you bear the hear-through easy voyages of life, receive but coming, might deserve it.

mon gladness in their meeting; but, from a Lord T. Consider-since we no more can shipwreck saved, we mingle tears with our meet, press not my staying to insult ber. embraces.

[Embraces Lady Townly. Lady T. Yet stay, my lord--the little I would Lady T. What words — what love – what say will not deserve an insult; and, undeserv- duty can repay such obligations ? ed, I know your nature gives it not. But as Lord T. Preserve but this desire to please, you've called in friends to witness your re- your power is endless. sentment, let them be equal bearers of my last Ludy T. Oh! till this moment never did I reply.

(be it so. know, my lord, I had a heart to give you! Lord T. I shan't refuse you that, madam- Lord t. By heaven! this yielding hand,

Lady T. My lord, you ever have complained when first it gave you to my wishes, presented I wanted love, but as you kindly bave allowed not a treasure more desirable!--Oh, Manly! I never gave it to another, so, when you hear sister! as you have often shared in my disthe story of my beart, though you may still quiet, partake of my felicity - my new-born complain, you will not wonder at my! See here, the bride of my desires! This Lord T. Proceed-I am attentive.

may be called my wedding-day. Lady T. Before I was your bride, my lord, Lady G. Sister (for now, ‘methinks, that the faitering world had talked me into beauty; name is dearer to me than ever), let me conwhich, at my glass, my youthful vanity con-gratulate the happiness that opens to you. firmed. Wild with that fame, I thought man- Man. Long, long, and mutual, may it flow! kind my slaves- I triumphed over hearts, while Lord T. To make our happiness complete, all my pleasure was their pain : yet was my my dear, join here with me to give a hand, own so equally insensible to all, that, when a that amply will repay tbe obligation.

Lady T. Sister, a day like this

Lady T. Sister, to your unerring virtue I Lady G. Admits of no excuse against the now commit the guidance of my future days. general joy. [Gives her Hand to Manly. Never the paths of pleasure more to tread,

Man. A joy like mine-despairs of words But where your guarded innocence shall lead; lo speak it.

For, in the marriage state, the world mustown, Lord T. Oh, Manly, how the name of friend Divided happiness was never known. endears the brother! [Embraces him. To make it mulual, nature points the way;

Man. Your words, my lord, will warm me Let husbands govern, gentle wives obey. to deserve them.



Or, The bind Impostor, acted at Drury Lane 1703. This is a very busy, sprightly, and entertaining comedy, and still continues a stock play. The plot of it is borrowed from Leonard's' Counterfeits, and perhaps from the Novel The Trepanner trepanned, on which thai Comedy jiself was builta






SCENE. — Madrid.



Flora. And now, madam, pray what do SCENE I.-An Inn at MADRID. you propose will be the end of our journey?

Hyp. Why, now I hope the end of my Enter TRAPPANTI.

wishes-Don Philip, I need not tell you how Trop. Indeed, my friend Trappanti, thou'rt far he is in my heart. in a very thin condition ; thou hast neither Flora. No, your sweet usage of him told master, meat, nor money: not but, couldst thou me that long enough ago; but now, it seems, part with that unappeasable itch of eating too, you think lit to confess it; and what is it you thou bast all the ragged virtues that were re- love him for, pray ? quisite to set up an ancient philosopher. Con- Hyp. His manner of bearing that usage. lempt and poverty, kicks, thumps, and think- Flora. Ah! dear pride! how we love to ing tbou hast endured with the best of 'em; have it tickled! But he does not bear it, you but-when fortune turns thee up to hard fast- see, for he's coming post to Madrid to marry ing, that is to say, positively not eating at all, another woman; nay, one he never saw. I perceive thou art a downright duace, with Hyp. An unknown face can't have


far the same stomach, and no more philosophy engaged him. than a hound upon horse-flesh-Fasting's the Flora. How came he to be engaged to her devil!-Let me see-this, I take it, is the most at all? frequented inn about Madrid; and if a keen Hyp. Why, I engaged him. guest or two should drop in now-Hark! Flora. To another! Host

. [Within] Take care of the gentle- Hyp. To my whole sex, rather than own I mens' borses there; see 'em well rubbd and loved bim, litter'd.

Flora. Ah! done like a woman of courage. Trap. Just alighted! If they do but stay to Hyp. I could not bear the thoughts of parteat now! Impudence assist me; hah! a couple ing, with my power; besides, he took me at of prelty young sparks, faith!

such an advantage, and pressed me

so home

to a surrender, I could have tore him piecemeal. Enter HYPOLITA and FLORA, in Men's Ha

Flora. Ay! I warrant you, an insolentbits; a Postboy, with a Portinanteau.

agreeable, puppy: But let us hear. Welcome to Madrid, sir; welcome, sir. Hyp. I'll tell thee, Flora ; you know don Flora. Sir, your servant.

Philip wants no charm that can recommend Post. Have the horses pleased your honour? him. As a lover in rank and fortune, I con

Hyp. Very well indeed, friend; pr’ythee set fess him my superior; 'tis the thoughts of that down the portmanteau, and see that ihe poor has been a constant thorn upon my wislies ; creatures want nothing: they have performed I never saw him in the humblest posture, but well, and deserve our care.

still I fancied he secretly presumed his rank Trap. I'll take care of that, sir; here, ostler. and fortune might command me; this always

(Exeunt Trappanti and Servant. stung my pride, and made me over-act it: Flora. And pray, madam, what do I deserve ? nay sometimes, when his sufferings bave alHyp. Poor Flora! thou art fatigued indeed, most drawn the tears into my eyes, I have but I sball find a way to thank thee for't. turu'd the subject with some trilling talk, or

you by it?


humm'd a spiteful tune, though I believe his my troth, right and sound, I warrant 'em; heart was breaking.

they deserve care, and they have had it, and Flora. But, love be praised, your proud shall have it if they stay in this house - I alstomach's come down for it.

ways stand by, sir, see 'em rubb'd down with Hyp. Indeed, 'tis not altogether so high as my own eyes — catch me trusting an ostler, 'twas. In a word, bis last letter set me at my I'll give you leave to fill for me, and drink wit's end, and when I came to myself, you for me too. may remember you thought me bewitch'd, for Flora. I have seen this fellow somewhere. I immediately called for my boy's clothes, and

[-Apart to Hypolita. so rode after him.

Trap. Hey-day! what, no cloth laid! was Flora. Why truly, madam, as to your wits, ever such attendance! hey, house! tapster! I've not much altered my opinion of 'em, for landlord! bey! [Knocks] What was it you I can't see what you propose by it. bespoke, gentlemen ?

Hyp. My whole design, Flora, lies in this Hyp. Really, sir, I ask your pardon, I have portmanteau, and these breeches.

almost forgot you. Flora. A notable design, no doubt; but Trap. Psbaw! dear sir, never talk of it; I pray let's bear it.

live bere bard by - I have a lodging.–I can't Hyp. Why, I do propose to be twice mar- call it a lodging neither—that is, I have aried between 'em,

sometimes I am here, and sometimes I am Flora, How! twice?

there; and so bere and there one makes shift, Hyp. By the help of the portmanteau I in- you know.-Hey! will these people never come? tend to marry myself to don Philip's new mis- Hyp: You give a very good account of tress, and then- I'll put off my breeches and yourself

, sir. marry hin.

Trap. O! nothing at all, sir, Lord, sir!Flora. Now I begin to take ye: but pray was it fish or flesh, sir ? what's in the portmanteau ? and how came Flora. Really, sir, we have bespoke no

thing yet. Hyp. I bired one to steal it from his ser- Trap. Nothing! for shame! it's a sign you vant at the last inn we lay at in Toledo: in are young travellers; you don't know this it are jewels of value, presents to my bride, house, sir; why they'll let you starve if you gold, good store, settlements, and credential don't stir, and call, and that like thundertoo letters to certify that the bearer (which I in--Hollo! tend to be myself) is don Philip, only Hyp. Ha! you eat here sometimes, I preand heir of don Fernando de las Torres, now sume, sir? residing at Seville, whence we came.

Trap: Umph!--Ay, sir, that's as it happens Flora. A very smart undertaking, by my -I seldom eat at home, indeed—Hoilo! troth: and pray, madam, what part am I to act? Hyp. My woman still; when I can't lie for

Enter Host. myself you are to do it for me, in the


Host. Did you call, gentlemen ? of a cousin-german,

Trap. Yes, and bawl too, sir: here, the Flora. And my name is to be

gentlemen are almost famishd, and nobody Hyp. Don Guzman, Diego, Mendez, or what comes near 'em: what have you in the house you please

; be your own godfather. now that will be ready presently? Flora. 'Egad, 'I begin to like it mightily: Host. You may have what you please, sir. this may prove a very pleasant adventure, if Hyp. Can you get us a partridge ? we can but come off without fighting, which, Host. Sir, we have no partridges; but we'll by the way, I don't easily perceive we shall; get you what you please in a moment: we for lo be sure don Philip will make the devil have a very good neck of mutton, sir; if you to do with us when he finds himself here be- please it shall be clapp'd down in a moment. fore he comes hither,

Hyp. Have you no pigeons or chickens? Hyp. O let me alone to give him satisfaction. Host. Truly, sir, we have no fowl in the

Flora. I'm afraid it must be alone, if you house at present; if you please you may have do give him satisfaction; for my part I can any thing else in a moment. push no more than I can swim.

Hyp. Then pr’ythee get us some young rabbits. Hyp. But you can bully, upon occasion. Host. Rabbits! odd rabbit it, rabbits are so Flora. I can scold when


up. scarce they are not to be bad for money. Hyp. That's the same thing. Bullying in Flora. Have you any fish ? breeches, would be scolding in petticoats. Host. Fish! sir, I dress'd yesterday the finest Flora. Say ye so: why then do look to dish that ever came upon a table;

am sorry yourself; if I don't give you as good as you we have none left, sir; but, if you please, you bring; l'il be content to wear breeches as long may have any thing else in a moment. as I live. Well, madam, now you have open'd Trap. Plague on thee, hast thou nothing the plot, pray when is the play to begin? but any-thing-else in the house?

Hyp. I hope to have it all over in less than Host. Very good mutton, sir. four hours; we'll just refresh ourselves with Hyp. Pr’ythee get us a saddle ?) then. what the house affords, and wait upon my Host

. Don't you love the neck, sir? father-in-law-How now! what would this Hyp. Ha'ye nothing in the house but the fellow have?


Host, Really, sir, we don't use to be so unRe-enter TRAPPANTI,

provided, but at present we bave nothing else left. Trap. Servant, gentlemen, I have taken nice care of your nags; good cattle they are, byl 1) A saddle of mutton is the iwo loins not separated.

Trap: 'Egad, it's neck or nothing ') here,l. Hyp. Hang him, 'tis inoffensive; I'll humour sir. Faith, sir, I don't know but å nothing him.-[Apart] Pray, sir (for I find we are else may be very good meat, when any thing like to be better acquainted, therefore I hope else is not to be had.

you won't take my question ill) Hyp. Then pr’ythee, friend, let's have thy Trap. O, dear sir! neck of mutton before that is gone too. Hyp. What profession may you be of?

Trap. Sir, he shall lay it down this minute; Trup. Profession, sir-I-I-Ods me! here's rll see it done :-gentlemen, I'll wait upon ye the wine. presently; for a minute I must beg your par

Re-enter Host. don, and leave to lay the cloth myself. Hyp. By no means, sir.

Come, fill out-hold—let me taste it first-ye Trap. No ceremony, dear sir; indeed I'll blockhead, would ye have the gentleman drink do't.

[Exeunt Host and Trappanti. before he knows whether it be good or not? Hyp. What can this familiar puppy be? Drinks] Yes, 'twill do-give me the bottle,

Flora. With much ado I have recollected Pul fill myself. Now, sir, is not that a glass his face. Don't you remember, madam, about of right wine?

[To Hypolita. Iwo or three years ago, don Philip had a trusty Hyp. Extremely good indeed—But, sir, as servant, called Trappanti, that used now and to my question. tben to slip a note into your hand, as you Trap: l'ın afraid, sir, that mutton won't be came from church?

enough for us all. Hyp: Is this he that Philip turnd away for Hyp. 0, pray, sir, bespeak what you please. saying I was as proud as a beauty, and home- Trap. Sir, your most humble servant. ly enough to be good humour'd?

Here, master! pr’ythee get us-Ha! ay, get us Flora. The very same, I assure ye; only, a dozen of poach'd eggs-a dozen, d'ye hear as you see starving has altered his air a little. -just to-pop down a little. Hyp. Poor fellow! I am concern'd for him: Host. Yes, sir.

[Going. wbat makes him so far from Seville?

Trap. Friend- let there be a little slice of Flora. I'm afraid all places are alike to him. bacon to every one of 'em.

Hyp. I have a great mind to take him into Host. Yes, sir-a little thin slice, sir? my service, his assurance may be useful, as

[Going my case stands.

Trap. No, you dog, not too thin. Flora, You would not tell him who you are? Hyp. But, sir Hyp. There's no occasion for it - I'll talk Trap. Odso! I had like to have forgotwith him.

here, a-Sancho! Sancho! ay, isn't your name


Host. Diego, sir. Trap. Your dinner's upon the spit, gentle-Trap. Oh! ay, Diego! that's true indeed, men, and the cloth is laid in the best room- Diego! Umph! Are you not for a whet, a) sir ? What wine? Hyp. I must e'en let him alone; there's no what wine?-Hey!

putting in a word till his mouth's full. [Apart. Flora. We give you trouble, sir.

Trap. Come, here's to thee, Diego-Drinks Trap. Not in the least, sir.-Hey! [Knocks. and fills again] That I should forget thy

name though. Re-enter Host.

Host. No great harm, sir. Host. D'ye call, gentlemen?

Trap: Diego, ha! a very pretty name, faith! Hyp. Ay; what wine have ye?

-I think you are married, are you not, Diego? Host. What sort you please, sir.

Host. Ay, ay, sir.
Flora. Sir, will you please to name it? Trap. Hah! how many children?

[To Trappanti. Host. Nine girls and a boy, sir. Trap. Nay, pray, sir -

Trap. Hah! nine girls — Come, here's to Hyp. No ceremony, dear sir; upon my word thee again, Diego-Nine girls! a stirring wo

man, I dare say; a good housewife, ha! Diego? Trup. Upon my soul, you'll make me leave Host. Pretty well, sir. ye, gentlemen.

Trap. Makes all her pickles herself

, I warHyp. Come, come, no words! pr’ythee, you rant ye-Does she do olives well? shall.

Host. Will you be pleased to taste 'em, sir? Trap. Pshaw! but why this among friends Trap. Taste 'em! humpb! pr’ythee let's have now ? Here-have ye any right Galicia? à plate, Diego.

Host. The best in Spain, I warrant it. Host. Yes, sir.

Trap. Let's taste it; if it be good, set us Hyp. And our dinner as soon as you please, out half a dozen bottles for dinner.

sir; when it's ready, call us. Host. Yes, sir. [Exit. Host. Yes, sir.

[Exit. Flora. Who says this fellow's a starving Hyp. But, sir, I was asking you of your now? On my conscience, the rogue has more profession. impudence than a lover at midnight.

Trap. Profession! really, sir, I don't use to Apart to Hypolita. profess much; I am a plain dealing sort of a 1) Fox-huuters in jumping over a hedge or a tive-barred man; if I say I'll serve a gentleman, he may

that they are sure either to break their neck" or break depend upon me. nothing; hence the expression. The pun is easily un

Flora. Have you ever served, sir?

Trap. Not these two last campaigns. a) A whet is one of the numerons expressions for laking a glass of brandy, etc. to sharpen the appetite, keer

Hyp. How so? out the cold; or some other such excuse.

Trap. Some words with my superior offi

you shall.


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