Sir F. Naw, if I doan't lay in for a hus- Lady W. Why really coming to London band for her, mayhap, i'this tawn, she may is apt to put a little more life into one's looks. be looking out for herself Man. Not unlikely. Sir F. Therefore I have some thoughts of getting her to be maid of honour. Man. Oh, he has taken my breath away! but I must hear him out. [Aside] Pray, sir Francis, do you think her education has yet qualified her for a court. Sir F. Why, the girl is a little too mettlesome, it's true; but she has tongue enough: she woan't be dash'd! Then she shall learn to dance forthwith, and that will soon teach her how to stond still, you know. Man. Very well, but when she is thus accomplished, you must still wait for a vacancy. Sir F. Why I hope one has a good chance for that every day, cousin; for if I take it right, that's a post that folks are not more willing to get into than they are to get out of-It's like an orange-tree upon that accawnt -it will bear blossoms, and fruit that's ready to drop, at the same time. Man. Well, sir, you best know how to make good your pretensions. But pray where is my lady and my young cousin? I should be glad to see them too. Sir F. She is but just taking a dish of tea with the count and my landlady-I'll call her dawn. Man. No, no; if she's engaged, I shall call again. Man. Yet the way of living here is very apt to deaden the complexion- and give me leave to tell you, as a friend, madam, you are come to the worst place in the world for a good woman to grow better in. Lady W. Lord, cousin, how should people ever make any figure in life, that are always moped up in the country? Count B. Your ladyship certainly takes the thing in a quite right light, madam. Mr. Manly, your humble servant-a hem." Man. Familiar puppy! [Aside] Sir, your most obedient-I must be civil to the rascal, to cover my suspicion of him. [Aside. Count B. Was you at White's 1) this morning, sir? Man. Yes, sir, I just called in. Count B. Pray-what-was there any thing done there? Man. Much as usual, sir; the same daily carcasses, and the same crows about them. Count B. The Demoivre baronet had a bloody tumble yesterday. Man. I hope, sir, you had your share of him, Count B. No, faith; I came in when it was all over I think I just made a couple of bets with him, took up a cool hundred, and so went to the King's arms. has! Lady W. What a genteel easy manner he [Aside. Man. A very hopeful acquaintance I have Sir F. Odds heart! but you mun see her made here. naw, cousin: what! the best friend I have in [Aside. the world! Here, sweetheart! [To a Servant Enter SQUIRE RICHARD, with a wet brown without] pr'ythee desire the lady and the gentleman to come down a bit; tell her here's cousin Manly come to wait upon her. Man. Pray, sir, who may the gentleman be? Sir F. You mun know him to be sure; why, it's count Basset. Man. Oh, is it he!-Your family will be ininfinitely happy in his acquaintance. Paper on his Face. Squire R. Why, I was but running after sister, and t'other young woman, into a little Sir F. Troth, I think so too: he's the civilest room just naw: and so with that they slapped man that ever I knew in my life-Why, here the door full in my face, and gave me such he would go out of his own lodgings, at an a whurr here-I thought they had beaten my hour's warning, purely to oblige my family. brains out; so I got a dab of whet brown Wasn't that kind naw? Man. Extremely civil-The family is in admirable hands already [Aside. Sir F. Then my lady likes him hugely-all the time of York races she would never be without him. Man. That was happy indeed! and a pruIdent man, you know, should always take care that his wife may have innocent company. Sir F. Why, ay! that's it! and I think there could not be such another! Man. Why truly, for her purpose, I think not. Sir F. Only naw and tan, he-he stonds a little too much upon ceremony; that's his fault. Man. Oh, never fear! he'll mend that every day-Mercy on us! what a head he has! [Aside. Sir F. So here they come. Enter LADY WRONGHEAD and COUNT BASSet. Lady W. Cousin Manly, this is infinitely obliging; I am extremely glad to see you. Man. Your most obedient servant, madam; I am glad to see your ladyship look so well after your journey. paper here to swage it awhile. Lady W. They served you right enough; will you never have done with your horse play? Sir F. Pooh, never heed it, lad; it will be well by to-morrow-the boy has a strong head. Man. Yes, truly, his skull seems to be of a comfortable thickness! [Aside. Sir F. Come, Dick, here's cousin ManlySir, this is your godson. Squire R. Honoured godfeyther! I crave leave to ask your blessing. Man. Thou hast it, child-and if it will do thee any good, may it be to make thee, at least, as wise a man as thy father! Enter MISS JENNY and MRS. MOTHERLY. Lady W. Oh, here's my daughter too! Miss Jenny, don't you see your cousin, child? Man. And as for thee, my pretty dear[Salutes her]-may'st thou be, at least, as good a woman as thy mother! Jenny. I wish I may ever be so handsome, sir. Man. Hah, miss Pert! now that's a thought 1) A famous Hell in St. James's Street. that seems to have been hatched in the girl Lady W. Pshaw! a fig for his money! you on this side Highgate! [Aside. have so many projects of late, about money, Sir F. Her tongue is a little nimble, sir. since you are a parliament man! What, we Lady W. That's only from her country edu- must make ourselves slaves to his impertinent cation, sir Francis. You know she has been humours, eight or ten years, perhaps, in hopes kept too long there; so I brought her to Lon- to be his heirs! and then he will be just old don, sir, to learn a little more reserve and enough to marry his maid. modesty. Man. Oh, the best place in the world for it!-every woman she meets will teach her something of it. There's the good gentlewoman in the house looks like a knowing person; even she, perhaps, will be so good as to show her a little London behaviour. Mrs. M. Alas, sir, miss won't stand long in need of my instruction! Man. That, I dare say-What thou canst teach her, she will soon be mistress of. [Aside. Mrs. M. If she does, sir, they shall always be at her service. Lady W. Very obliging, indeed, Mrs. Motherly! Mrs. M. Nay, for that matter, madam, the Mrs. M. Why, is it possible your ladyship should know nothing of it?-to my lord Townly's sister, lady Grace. Lady W. Lady Grace! Mrs. M. Dear madam, it has been in the newspapers. Lady W. I don't like that, neither. Sir F. Naw I do; for then it's likely it." mayn't be true. Lady W. If it is not too far gone: at least, it may be worth one's while to throw a rub in his way. [Aside Squire R. Pray, feyther, haw lung will it be to supper? Sir F. Odso, that's true! step to the cook, lad, and ask what she can get us. Sir F. Very kind and civil, truly!-I think we are got into a mighty good hawse here. Man. Oh, yes! and very friendly company. Count B. Humph! I'gad, I don't like his looks-he seems a little smoky 1)-I believe I had as good brush 2) off—If I ́stay, I don't Mrs. M. If you please, sir, I'll order one of know but he may ask me some odd questions. my maids to show her where she may have Aside. any thing you have a mind to. [Exit. Man. Well, sir, I believe you and I do but Sir F. Thank you kindly, Mrs. Motherly. hinder the family. Squire R. Odds flesh! what, is not it i'the Count B. It's very true, sir-I was just hawse yet?-I shall be famished-but hawld! thinking of going-He don't care to leave me, I'll go and ask Doll an' there's none o'the I see; but it's no matter, we have time enough goose poy left. -[Aside] And so, ladies, without ceremony, Sir F. Do so-and dost hear, Dick? — see your humble servant. if there's e'er a bottle o'the strong beer, that [Exit, and drops a Letter. came i'th' coach with us-if there be, clap a Lady W. Ha! what paper's this? Some toast in it, and bring it up. billet-doux, I'll lay my life, but this is no place Squire R. With a little nutmeg and sugar, to examine it. [Puts it in her Pocket, shawn'a I, feyther? Sir F. Why in such haste, cousin? Sir F. Ay, ay, as thee and I always drink Man. Oh, my lady must have a great many it for breakfast-Go thy ways. affairs upon her hands after such a journey! Lady W. I believe, sir, I shall not have much less every day, while I stay in this town, of one sort or other. Sir F. Only to see you to the door, sir. go without ceremony! [Exit Squire Richard. Lady W. This boy is always thinking of his belly. Sir F. Why, my dear, you may allow him to be a little hungry, after his journey. Lady W. Nay, e'en breed him your own. way-He has been cramming, in or out of the coach, all this day, I am sure-I wish my poor girl could eat a quarter as much. Jenny. Oh, as for that, I could eat a great deal more, mamma! but then, maybap, I should grow coarse, like him, and spoil my shape. Enter SQUIRE RICHARD, with a full Tankard. Sir F. Nay, sir, I must do as you will it's well I went as I did; for our Doll had have me your humble servant. [Exit Manly. just baked a toast, and was going to drink it Jenny. This cousin Manly, papa, seems to herself. be but of an odd sort of a crusty humour-I don't like him half so well as the count. Sir F. Pooh! that's another thing, child Cousin is a little proud, indeed! but, however, Sir F. Why, then, here's to thee, Dick! [Drinks. Squire R. Thonk you, feyther. Lady W. Lord, sir Francis, I wonder you you must always be civil to him, for he has a can encourage the boy to swill so much of deal of money; and nobody know who he that lubberly liquor! it's enough to make him may give it to. 1) To be smoky, is slang for, to see through a person, to understand his character. 2) Slang for, to go away. quite stupid! Squire R. Why, it never hurts mc, mother; and I sleep like a hawnd after it. Drinks. Sir F. Ì am sure I ha' drunk it these thirty years; and, by your leave, madam, I don't know that I want wit, ha, ha! Jenny. But you might have had a great deal more, papa, if you would have been governed by my mother. Sir F. Daughter, he that is governed by his wife has no wit at all. Jenny. Then I hope I shall marry a fool, sir; for I love to govern, dearly. Sir F. You are too pert, child; it don't do well in a young woman. ther there. Sir F. Where did he go? Moody. By my troth, sir, I doan't know! I heard him say he would cross the same street again to-morrow; and if we had a mind to stand in his way; he would pooll us over and over again. Sir F. Will he so? Odzooks, get me a constable! a Lady W. Pooh, get you a good supper!Lady W. Pray, sir Francis, don't snub her; Come, sir Francis, don't put yourself in she has a fine growing spirit, and if you check heat, for what can't be helped. Accidents will her so, you will make her as dull as her bro-happen to people that travel abroad to see the world-For my part, I think it's a mercy it was not overturned before we were all out on't. Sir F. Why, ay, that's true again, my dear. Lady W. Therefore, see to-morrow if we can buy one at second hand, for present use; so bespeak a new one, and then all's easy. Squire R. [After a long draught] Indeed, mother, I think my sister is too forward. Jenny. You! you think I'm too forward! sure, brother mud! your head's too heavy to think of any thing but your belly. Lady W. Well said, miss! he's none of your master, though he is your elder brother. Squire R. No, nor she shawn't be my mistress, while she's younger sister. Sir F. Well said, Dick! show them that stawt liquor makes a stawt heart, lad! Moody. Why, troth, sir, I don't think this could have held you above a day longer. Sir F. D'ye think so, John? Moody. Why, you ha' had it, ever since your worship were high sheriff. Sir F. Why, then, go and see what Doll Squire R. So I will! and I'll drink agen, has got us for supper-and come, and get off for all her. [Drinks. my boots. Enter JOHN MOODY. Sir F. So, John, how are the horses? Moody. Troth, sir, I ha' noa good opinion o'this tawn; it's made up o'mischief, I think. Sir F. What's the matter naw? [Exeunt. SCENE I.-LORD TOWNLY's House. Lord T. Bid them get dinner [Exit Williams. Enter LADY Grace. Moody. Why, I'll tell your worship-before we were gotten to the street end, with the coach, here, a great luggerheaded cart, with wheels as thick as a brick wall, laid hawld on't, and has poo'd it aw to bits-crack went the perch! down goes the coach! and whang Lady Grace, your servant! says the glasses, all to shivers! Marcy upon Lady G. What, is the house us!-and this be London, 'would we were aw-My lady is not dressed yet. weel in the country ageen! Lord T. No matter-it's five o'clock-she Jenny, What have you to do, to wish us may break my rest, but she shall not alter all in the country again, Mr. Lubber? I hope my hours. up already? we shall not go into the country again these Lady G. Nay, you need not fear that now, seven years, mamma; let twenty coaches be for she dines abroad. pulled to pieces. Sir F. Hold your tongue, Jenny! - Was Roger in no fault in all this? Lord T. That, I suppose, is only an excuse for her not being ready yet. Lady G. No, upon my word, she is engaged in company. Lord T. But, pr'ythee, sister, what humour is she in to-day? Moody. Noa, sir, nor I noither. "Are not yow ashamed," says Roger to the carter, "to do such an unkind thing by strangers?" "Noa," says he, "you bumkin."-Sir, he did the Lady G. Oh, in tip-top spirits, I can assure thing on very purpose! and so the folks said you!-she won a good deal last night. that stood by. "Very well," says Roger, "yow Lord T. I know no difference between her shall see what our meyster will say to ye!" winning or losing, while she continues her Your meyster," says he; "your meyster may course of life. kiss my-"; and so he clapped his hand just there, and like your worship. Flesh! I thought they had better breeding in this town. Lady G. However she is better in good humour than bad. Lord T. Much alike: when she is in good Sir F. I'll teach this rascal some, I'll war- humour, other people only are the better for rant him! Odsbud, if I take him in hand, I'll it-when in a very ill humour, then indeed I play the devil with him! seldom fail to have a share of her. Squire R. Ay do, feyther; have him before the parliament. Sir F. Odsbud, and so I will!-I will make Lady G. Well, we won't talk of that now Lady G. I am a little at a stand about it. Lady G. Why I have received a letter this morning, that shows him a very different my lady Moonlight; and from thence they go man from what I thought him. together to my lord Noble's assembly. Lord T. A letter! from whom? [Gives a Letter. [Reads. Lord T. Pray let's see- Man. And are you to do all this with her, madam? Lady G. Only a few of the visits. Man. But how can you forbear all the rest of it? into my hands: if it no way concerns you, ing what one is not charmed with. Lady G. And this was the enclosed. Lord T. [Reads] To Charles Manly esq. Lady G. What think you now? Lady G. You see it's directed to him? Man. And yet I have found that very difficult in my time. Lady G. How do you mean? Man. Why I have passed a great deal of my life in the hurry of the ladies, though 1 was generally better pieased when I was at quiet without them. Lady G. What induced you then to be with them? Man. Idleness and the fashion. Lady G. No mistresses in the case? Man. To speak honestly-yes-Being often in the toy-shop, there was no forbearing the baubles. Lady G. And of course, I suppose, sometimes you were tempted to pay for them twice. as much as they were worth. Man. Madam! Lady G. I'll be free with you, Mr. Manly seerns to be a reproach that I think he is not appearance might better pretend to a woman capable of deserving. of the first merit than yourself; and yet I have Lady G. But who could have concern a reason in my hand here to think you have enough to send it to me? Lord T. I have observed that these sort of letters from unknown friends, generally come from secret enemies. Lady G. What would you have me do in it? Lord T. What I think you ought to dofairly show it him, and say I advised you to it. Lady G. Will not that have a very odd look from me? Lord T. Not at all, if you use my name in it; if he is innocent, his impatience, to appear -so will discover his regard to you; if he is guilty, it will be the best way of preventing his addresses. Lady G. But what pretence have I to put him out of countenance? Lord T. I can't think there's any fear of that. Lady G. Pray what is it you do think then? Lord T. Why certainly that it's much more probable this letter may be all an artifice, than that he is in the least concerned in it. Enter WILLIAMS. [Exit. Wil. Mr. Manly, my lord. Lord T. Do you receive him, while I step a minute to my lady, your failings. Man, I have infinite, madam; but I am sure the want of an implicit respect for you is not among the number. - Pray what is in your hand, madam? Lady G. Nay, sir, I have no title to it, for the direction is to you. [Gives him a Letter. Man. To me! I don't remember the hand. [Reads to himself. Lady G. Give me leave to tell you one thing, by the way, Mr. Manly, that I should never have shown you this but that my brother enjoined me to it. Man. I take that to proceed from my lord's good opinion of me, madam. Lady G. I hope at least it will stand as an excuse for my taking this liberty. Man. I never yet saw you do any thing, madam, that wanted an excuse; and I hope you will not give me an instance to the contrary, by refusing the favour I am going to ask you. Lady G. I don't believe I shall refuse any that you think proper to ask. Man. Only this, madam, to indulge me so [Exit. far as to let me know how this letter came into your hands. - they Man. So then my lady dines with us? he is Man. I hope you are not of her party, madam? Man. And pray how may she have disposed of the rest of the day? Lady G. Enclosed to me in this, without a name. Man. If there be no secret in the contents, madam Lady G. Why-there is an impertinent insinuation in it; but, as I know your good sense will think it so too, I will venture to trust you. Man. You'll oblige me, madam. [Takes the other Letter, and reads. Lady G. Much as usual; she has visits till Lady G. Now am I in the oddest situation! about eight; after that, till court time, she is methinks our conversation grows terribly crito be at quadrille, at Mrs. Idle's; after the tical-This must produce something-Oh lud, drawing-room, she takes a short supper with would it were over! [Aside. Man. Now, madam, I begin to have some Mrs. T. Yes, madam; but my lord has been light into the poor project that is at the bot-courting her so, I think, till they are both out tom of all this. of humour. Lady G. I have no notion of what could be proposed by it. Man. A little patience, madam-First, as to the insinuation you mention Lady G. How so? Mrs. T. Why it began, madam, with his lordship's desiring her ladyship to dine at home to-day-upon which my lady said she could Lady G. Oh! what is he going to say now? not be ready; upon that my lord ordered them [Aside. to stay the dinner-and then my lady ordered Man. Though my intimacy with my lord the coach-then my lord took her short, and may have allowed my visits to have been very said he had ordered the coachman to set up frequent here of late, yet, in such a talking-then my lady made him a great courtesy, town as this, you must not wonder if a great and said she would wait till his lordship's many of those visits are placed to your ac-horses had dined, and was mighty pleasant; count; and this taken for granted, I suppose, but, for fear of the worst, madam, she whishas been told to my lady Wronghead, as a pered me-to get her chair ready. [Exit. piece of news, since her arrival, not impro- Lady G. Oh, here they come! and, by their bably with many more imaginary circumstances. looks, seem a little unfit for company. [Exit. Lady G. My lady Wronghead! Man. Ay, madam; for I am positive this is Enter LADY TOWNLY, LORD TOWNLY following. her hand. Lady T. Well, look you, my lord, I can Lady G. What view could she have in bear it no longer; nothing still but about my writing it? faults-my faults! an agreeable subject, truly! Man. To interrupt any treaty of marriage Lord T. Why, madam, if you won't hear she may have heard I am engaged in, be- of them, how can I ever hope to see you cause, if I die without heirs, her family ex-mend them? pects that some part of my estate may return Lady T. Why I don't intend to mend them to them again. But I hope she is so far mis--I can't mend them-you know I have tried taken, that if this letter has given you the least to do it a hundred times-and-it hurts me uneasiness-I shall think that the happiest mo- so-I can't bear it. ment of my life. Lord T. And I, madam, can't bear this daily Lady G. That does not carry your usual licentious abuse of your time and character. complaisance, Mr. Manly. Man. Yes, madam, because I am sure I can verse knows I am never better company than convince you of my innocence. Lady T. Abuse! astonishing! when the uniwhen I am doing what I have a mind to. But Lady G. I am sure I have no right to in- to see this world! that men can never get quire into it. over that silly spirit of contradiction!-Why, Man. Suppose you may not, madam; yet but last Thursday now!-there you wisely you may very innocently have so much curiosity. amended one of my faults, as you call them Lady G. Well, sir, I won't pretend to have you insisted upon my not going to the masso little of the woman in me, as to want cu-querade-and pray what was the consequence? riosity-But pray do you suppose then this Was not I as cross as the devil all the night Myrtilla is a real or a fictitious name? after? Was not I forced to get company at Man. Now I recollect, madam, there is a home? And was it not almost three o'clock young woman in the house where my lady this morning before I was able to come to Wronghead lodges, that I heard somebody myself again? And then the fault is not mended call Myrtilla-this letter may have been writ-neither-for next time I shall only have twice ten by her-But how it came directed to me the inclination to go: so that all this mending, I confess is a mystery, that before I ever pre-and mending, you see, is but darning old lace, sume to see your ladyship again, I think my- to make it worse than it was before. self obliged in honour to find out. [Going. Lord T. Well, the manner of women's livLady G. Mr. Manly-you are not going? ing, of late, is insupportable! and one way Man. 'Tis but to the next street, madam; I or othershall be back in ten minutes. Lady T. It's to be mended, I suppose—why Lady G. Nay, but dinner's just coming up. so it may! but then, my dear lord, you must Man. Madam, I can neither eat nor rest give one time-and when things are at the till I see an end of this affair. worst, you know, they may mend themselves, Lady G. But this is so odd! why should ha, ha! any silly curiosity of mine drive you away? Lord T. Madam, I am not in a humour Man. Since you won't suffer it to be yours, now to trifle. madam then it shall be only to satisfy my Lady T. Why then, my lord, one word of own curiosity. [Exit. fair argument-to talk with you in your own Lady G. Well- and now what am I to way now-You complain of my late hours, think of all this? Or suppose an indifferent and I of your early ones-so far we are even, person had heard every word we have said you'll allow-but pray which gives us the best to one another, what would they have thought figure in the eye of the polite world-my acon't? Would it have been very absurd to con- tive, spirited three in the morning, or your clude he is seriously inclined to pass the rest dull, drowsy eleven at night? Now I think one of his life with me?-I hope not-for I am has the air of a woman of quality, and t'other sure the case is terribly clear on my side. of a plodding mechanic, that goes to bed beEnter MRS. TRUSTY. times, that he may rise early to open his shop Well, Mrs. Trusty, is my sister dressed yet?-Faugh! |