become a shepherd: nay, if it be only as it were a shepherd's dog, to bark the stray lambs into the fold. Old Lady L. He wants method, doctor. Dr. C. Yes, madam; but there is the matter, and I despise not the ignorant. Dr. C. Madam, if you please, I will lead you into the parlour. Old Lady L. No, doctor, my coach waits at the door. Enter SEYWARD. Maw. He's a saint-till I went after him, I Dr. C. Charles, you may lay those papers was little better than the devil; my conscience by again, but in some place where you'll easily was tanned with sin, like a piece of neat's find them; for I believe we shall have occaleather, and had no more feeling than the sole sion for them some time this afternoon. of my shoe; always a roving after fantastical Sey. I'll take care, sir. [Exit Dr. Cant, and delights: I used to go, every Sunday evening, old Lady Lambert-Occasion for them this to the Three Hats at Islington! it's a public-afternoon! - Then there's no time to be lost; house! mayhap, your ladyship may know it: the coast is clear, and this is her chamber.I was a great lover of skittles too, but now What's the matter with me? the thought of I can't bear them. speaking to her throws me into a disorder. Old Lady L. What blessed reformation! There's nobody within; I'll knock again. Maw. I believe, doctor, you never know'd as how I was instigated 1) one of the stewards Enter BETTY. of the reforming society. I convicted a man Is your lady busy? of five oaths, as last Thursday was a se'nnight, Bet. I believe she's only reading, sir. at the Pewter-platter, in the Borough; and Sey. Will you do me the favour to let her another of three, while he was playing trap-know, if she's at leisure? I beg to speak with ball in St. George's-fields: I bought this waist- her upon some earnest business. coat out of my share of the money. mind you your Old Lady L. But how do business? Muw. We have lost almost all our customers; because I keeps extorting 1) them whenever they come into the shop. Enter CHARLOTTE. Bet. She's here.-Mr. Seyward, madam, desires to speak with you. Char. Oh, your servant, Mr. Seyward.Old Lady L. And how do you live? Here, take this odious Homer, and lay him up Maw. Better than ever we did: while we again; he tires me.-[Exit Betty]-How could were worldly-minded, my wife and I (for I the blind wretch make such a horrid fuss aam married to as likely a woman as you shall bout a fine woman, for so many volumes togesee in a thousand) could hardly make things ther, and give us no account of her amours? do at all; but since this good man has brought you have read him, I suppose, in the Greek, us into the road of the righteous, we have al- Mr. Seyward? ways plenty of every thing; and my wife goes as well dressed as a gentlewoman-we have had a child too. Old Lady L. Merciful! Maw. And between you and me, doctor, I believe Susy's breeding again. Dr. C. Thus it is, madam; I am constantly told, though I can hardly believe it, a blessing follows wherever I come. Sey. Not lately, madam. Char. But do you so violently admire him now? Sey. The critics say he has his beauties, madam; but Ovid has been always my favourite. Char. Ovid-Oh, he is ravishing! Sey. So art thou, to madness! [Aside. Char. Lord! how could one do, to learn Greek!-Were you a great while about it? Sey. It has been half the business of my life, madam. Char. That's cruel, now; then you think one could not be mistress of it in a month or two? Sey. Not easily, madam. Maw. And yet, if you would hear how the neighbours reviles my wife; saying as how she sets no store by me, because we have words now and then; but as I says, if such was the case, would ever she have cut me Char. They tell me, it has the softest tone down that there time as I was melancholy, for love of any language in the world—I fanand she found me hanging behind the door? cy I could soon learn it. I know two words I don't believe there's a wife in the parish of it already. would have done so by her husband. Dr. C. I believe 'tis near dinner-time; and sir John will require my attendance. Sey. Pray, madam, what are they? Char. Stay-let me see-Oh-ay-Zoe kai psuche. Sey. I hope you know the English of them, madam. Maw. Oh! I am troublesome-nay, I only come to you, doctor, with a message from Mrs. Grunt. I wish your ladyship heartily and Char. Oh lud! I hope there is no harm in heartily farewell; doctor, a good day to you. it-I'm sure I heard the doctor say it to my Old Lady L. Mr. Mawworm, call on me lady-pray, what is it? some time this afternoon; I want to have a little private discourse with you; and, pray, my service to your spouse. Maw. I will, madam; you are a malefactor 3) to all goodness; I'll wait upon your ladyship; I will indeed: [going, returns] Oh, doctor, that's true; Susy desired me to give her kind love and respects to you. [Exit. 1) Instituted. 2) Exhorting. 3) Benefactor. Sey. You must first imagine, madam, a tender lover gazing on his mistress; and then indeed they have a softness in them; as thus-Zoe kai psuche!-my life! my soul! Char. Oh the impudent young rogue! how his eyes spoke too! what the deuce can he want with me! [Aside. Sey. I have startled her!-she muses! Aside. Char. It always run in my head that this fellow had something in him above his con dition; I'll know immediately. [Aside] Well,| Char. Indeed, you can't tell how I pity you; but your business with me, Mr. Seyward? you and depend upon it, if it be possible to serve have something of love in your head, I'll lay you, by getting you out of the hands of this my life on't. monster, I will. Sey. I never durst own it, madam. Sey. My story is too melancholy to enter- Sey. Once more, madam, let me assure you, that your generous inclination would be a consolation to me in the worst misfortunes; and, even in the last moment of painful death, would give my heart a joy. Char. Lord! the poor unfortunate boy loves me too-what shall I do with him? [Aside] Sey. With doctor Cantwell, I suppose you-Pray, Mr. Seyward, what paper's that you mean, madam? Char, Ay. Sey. He's no uncle of mine, madam. Char. You surprise me! not your uncle? Sey. No, madam; but that's not the only character the doctor assumes, to which he has no right. have in your hand? Is it relative to— Sey. Another instance of the conscience and gratitude which animate our worthy doctor. Char. You frighten me! pray, what is the purport of it? Is it neither signed nor sealed Sey. No, madam; therefore to prevent it, by this timely notice, was my business here with you; your father gave it to the doctor first, to show his counsel); who having approved it, I understand this evening it will be executed. Char. Lord! I am concerned for you. Sey. So you would, madam, if you knew all. Char. I am already; but if there are any further particulars of your story, pray let me hear them; and should any services be in my Char. But what is it? power, I am sure you may command them. Sey. It grants to doctor Cantwell, in preSey. You treat me with so kind, so gentle sent, four hundred pounds per annum, of a hand, that I will unbosom myself to you.which this very house is part; and, at your My father, madam, was the younger branch father's death, invests him in the whole reof a genteel family in the north; his name mainder of his freehold estate.-For you, inTrueman-but dying while I was yet in my deed, there is a charge of four thousand pounds infancy, I was left wholly dependant on my upon it, provided you marry with the doctor's mother; a woman really pious and well-mean- consent; if not, 'tis added to my lady's joining, but-In short, madam, doctor Cantwell ture-But your brother, madam, is, without fatally got acquainted with her, and as he is conditions, utterly disinherited. now your father's bosom counsellor, soon became her's. She died, madam, when I was but eight years old; and then I was, indeed, left an orphan. Char. Melancholy! Char. I am confounded!-What will become of us! my father now I find was serious -Oh, this insinuating hypocrite!-Let me see -ay-I will go this minute. Sir, dare you trust this in my hands for an hour only? Sey. She left doctor Cantwell her sole heir Sey. Any thing to serve you- [Bell rings. and executor; but I must do her the justice to Char. Hark! they ring to dinner: pray, sir, say, I believe it was in the confirmation that step in: say I am obliged to dine abroad; and he would take care of, and do justice to me: whisper one of the footmen to get a chair and, indeed, he has so far taken care of me, immediately; then do you take a proper octhat he sent me to a seminary abroad; and for casion to slip out after me to Mr. Double's these three years last past has kept me with him. chambers in the Temple 2); there I shall have Char. A seminary! Oh, heavens! but why time to talk further with you. [Exeunt. have you not strove to do yourself justice? Sey. Thrown so young into his power, as ACT III. Chairs. I was-unknown ond friendless, but through SCENE 1.—A Dressing-Room, with Table and his means, to whom could I apply for succour? nay, madam, I will confess, that on my return to England, I was first tainted with his Enter CHARLOTTE, with BETTY, taking off enthusiastic notions myself; and, for some time, as much imposed upon by him, as others; her cloak, etc. Char. Has any one been to speak with me, till, by degrees, as he found it necessary to Betty? make use of, or totally discard me (which last Bet. Only Mr. Darnley, madam; he said he he did not think prudent to do), he was o-would call again, and bid his servant stay below bliged to unveil himself to me in his proper to give him notice when you came home. colours-And I believe I can inform you of Char. You don't know what he wanted? some parts of his private character, that may be the means of detecting one of the wickedest impostors that ever practised upon credulity. Char. But how has the wretch dared to treat you? Sey. In his ill and insolent humours, madam, he has sometimes the presumption to tell me, that I am the object of his charity; and I own, madam, that I am humbled in my opinion, by his having drawn me into a connivance at some actions, which I can't look back on without horror. Bet. No, madam; he seemed very uneasy at your being abroad. Char. Well, go and lay up those thingsExit Betty] Ten to one but his wise head has found out something to be jealous of; 1) Lawyer. The 2) The Temple takes its name from having been founded by the knight Templars. In the 13th century, here were frequently entertained the king, the ope's nuncio, foreign ambassadors, and other great personages. professors of the common law purchased the building at the suppression of the knight Templars, and they were then first converted into inns, where the students keep their terms. if he lets me see it, I shall be sure to make me still-believe the worst you can—'tis all him infinitely easy-here he comes. Enter DARNley. Darn. Your humble servant, madam. true-I don't justify myself. Why do you trouble me with your complaints? if you are master of that manly reason you have boasted, give a manly proof of it; at once resume your liberty; despise me; go off in triumph now, like a king in a tragedy. Darn. You have been abroad, I hear. Char. Yes, and now I am come home, you see. Darn. Is this the end of all then? and are Darn. You seem to turn upon my words, those tender protestations you have made me madam"! Is there any thing particular in them? (for such I thought them) when, with a kind relucChar. As much as there is in my being tance, you gave me something more than hope abroad, I believe. -what all-Oh, Charlotte! all come to this? Darn. Might I not say you had been abroad, without giving offence? Char. And might not as well say I was come home, without your being so grave upon't? Darn. Do you know any thing that should make me grave? Char. I know, if you are so, I am the worst person in the world you can possibly show it to. Darn. Nay, I don't suppose you do any thing you won't justify. Char. Ob, then I find I have done something you think I can't justify. Char. Oh, lud! I am growing silly; if I hear on, I shall tell him every thing; 'tis but another struggle and I shall conquer it. So, you are not gone, I sec. Darn. Do you then wish me gone, madam? Char. Your manly reason will direct you. Darn. This is too much-my heart can bear. no more-What, am I rooted here? Enter SEYWARD. Char. At last I am relieved-Well, Mr. Seyward, is it done? Sey. I did not stir from the desk till it was entirely finished. Char. Where's the original? you must we Darn. I don't say that neither; perhaps I am wrong in what I have said; but I have been so often used to ask pardon for your being in the wrong, that I am resolved henceforth never to rely on the insolent evidence Char. Very well; that, you know, of my own senses. keep; but come, we must lose no time; Char. You don't know now perhaps that I will examine this in the next room-now I think this pretty smart speech of yours is very feel for him. dull; but, since that's a fault you can't help, I will not take it ill; come now, be as sincere on your side, and tell me seriously-Is not what real business I had abroad the very thing you want to be made easy in? Darn. If I thought you would make me easy, I would own it. [Exit. Darn. This is not to be borne-Pray, Mr. Charles, what business have you with that lady? Sey. Sir! Darn. I must know, young man. Sey. Not quite so young, but I can keep a secret, and a lady's too-you'll excuse me, sir! [Exit. Darn. 'Sdeath! to be laughed at by every Char. Now we come to the point.-To-body-I shall run distracted-this young fellow morrow morning then I give you my word, should repent his pertness, did not this house to let you know it all; till then, there is a ne- protect him-this is Charlotte's contrivance to cessity for its being a secret; and I insist distract me-but what? - Oh! I have love upon your believing it. enough to bear this, and ten times as much. Darn. But pray, madam, what am I to do with private imagination in the mean time? that is not in my power to confine; and sure you won't be offended, if, to avoid the tortures that may give me, I beg you'll trust me with the secret now. Enter COLONEL LAMBERT, Col. L. What, in raptures! Char.Don't press me; for, positively, I will not. Darn. Will not-can not had been a kinder term-Is my disquiet of so little moment to you? Char. Of none, while your disquiet dares not trust the assurances I have given you. If you expect I should confide in you for life, Darn. Perhaps she'll be less reserved to you, don't let me see you dare not take my word and tell you wherein I have mistaken her. for a day; and, if you are wise, you'll think Col. L. Poor Frank! every plot I lay upon so fair a trial a favour.-Come, come, there's my sister's inclination for you, you are sure nothing shows so low a mind, as those grave to ruin by your own conduct. and insolent jealousies. Darn. I own I have too little temper, and Darn. However, madam, mine you won't too much real passion, for a modish lover. find so low as you imagine; and since I see Col. L. Come, come! make yourself easy your tyranny arises from your mean opinion once more; I'll undertake for you: if you'll of me, 'tis time to be myself, and disavow your fetch a cool turn in the Park, upon Constitupower; you use it now beyond my bearing; tion hill, in less than half an hour I'll come not only impose on me to disbelieve my senses, to you, and make you perfectly easy. but do it with such an imperious air, as if Darn. Dear Tom, you are a friend indeed! my manly reason were your slave; and this I have a thousand things-but you shall find despicable frame that follows you, durst show me there. [Exit. no signs of life but what you vouchsafe to give it. Char. You are in the right: go on-suspect | Enter CHARLOTTE and SEYWARD. done to Darnley? the poor fellow looks as if he had killed your parrot. Char. Pshaw! you know him well enough! I've only been setting him a love lesson; it a little puzzles him to get through it at first, but he'll know it all by to-morrow-you will be sure to be in the way, Mr. Seyward. Sey. Madam, you may depend upon me; I have my full instructions. Dr. C. I speak it from my heart: indeed, indeed, indeed I do. Lady L. O dear! you hurt my hand, sir. Dr. C. Impute it to my zeal, and want of words for expression: precious soul! I would not hurt you for the world: no, it would be the whole business of my life Lady L. But to the affair I would speak to you about. Dr. C. Ah! thou heavenly woman! [Exit. Col. L. O, ho! here's the business then; and it seems Darnley was not to be trusted with Lady L. Your hand need not be there, sir. it; ha ha!-and, pry'thee, what is the mighty Dr. C. I was admiring the softness of this secret that is transacting between Seyward silk. They are indeed come to prodigious perand you? fection in all manufactures: how wonderful is Char. That's what he would have known, human art! Here it disputes the prize with naindeed; but you must know, I don't think it ture; that all this soft and gaudy lustre should proper to let you tell him neither, for all your be wrought from the labours of a poor worm! sly manner of asking. Lady L. But our business, sir, is upon an Col. L. Pray take your own time, dear ma- other subject; sir John informs me, that he dam; I am not in haste to know, I assure you. thinks himself under no obligations to Mr. Char. Well, but hold; on second thoughts, Darnley, and therefore resolves to give his you shall know part of this affair between daughter to you. Seyward and me; nay, I give you leave to Dr. C. Such a thing has been mentioned, tell Darnley too, on some conditions; 'tis true, madam; but, to deal sincerely with you, that I did design to have surprised you-but now is not the happiness I sigh after; there is a soft my mind's altered, that's enough. and serious excellence for me, very different Col. L. Ay, for any mortal's satisfaction-from what your step-daughter possesses. but here comes my lady. Enter LADY LAMBERT. Lady L. Away, away, colonel and Charlotte; both of you away this instant. Char. What's the matter, madam? Lady L. I am going to put the doctor to his trial, that's all. I have considered the proposal you have made me to-day, colonel, and am convinced it ought not to be delayed an instant; so just now I told the doctor, in a half-whisper, that I should be glad to have a word in private with him here; and he said he would wait upon me presently: but must I play a traitorous part now, and instead of persuading you to the doctor, persuade the doctor against you? Lady L. Well, sir, pray be sincere, and open your heart to me. Dr. C. Open my heart! can you then, sweet lady, be yet a stranger to it? has no action of my life been able to inform you of my real thoughts? Lady L. Well, sir, I take all this, as I suppose you intend it, for my good and spiritual welfare. well corrected by your divine and virtuous Lady L. We all have those, but yours are contemplations. Char. Dear madam, why not? one moment's Dr. C. Alas! madam, my heart is not of truce with the prude, I beg of you; don't startle at his first declaration, but let him go on, till stone: I may resist, call all my prayers, my he shows the very bottom of his ugly heart. fastings, tears, and penance, to my aid; but Lady L. I warrant you, I'll give a good ac- and virtue may strive, but nature will be upyet, I am not an angel; I am still but a man; count of him-but, as I live, here he comes! Char. Come then, brother, you and I will permost. I love you. then, madam. be commode, and steal off. [Exeunt Charlotte and Col. L. who listens. Enter DOCTOR CANTWELL. Dr. C. Here I am, madam, at your ladyship's command; how happy am I that you think me worthy Lady L. Please to sit, sir. Lady L. Hold, sir! suppose I now should let my husband, your benefactor, know the favour you design him? Dr. C. You cannot be so cruel! Lady L. Nor will, on this condition; that instantly you renounce all claim and title to Charlotte, and use your utmost interest with sir John, to give her, with her full fortune, to Mr. Darnley. Dr. C. Well but, dear lady, ha! you can't conceive the joyousness I feel at this so much Enter COLONEL LAMBERT. desired interview. Ah! ah! I have a thousand Col. L. Villain! monster! perfidious and unfriendly things to say to you: and how stands grateful traitor! your hypocrisy, your false zeal, your precious health? is your naughty cold is discovered; and I am sent here, by the hand abated yet? I have scarce closed my eyes these of insulted heaven, to lay you open to my two nights with my concern for you. father, and expose you to the world. Dr. C. Ha! Lady L. Your charity is too far concerned for me. Dr. C. Ah! don't say so; don't say so; you merit more than mortal man can do for you. Lady L. Indeed, you overrate me. Lady L. O, unthinking colonel! Col. L. Well, sir, what have you to say for yourself? Dr. C. I have nothing to say to you, colonel, nor for you-but you shall have my prayers. tion of my sister's name! directly, plainly, Col. L. Why, you profligate bypocrite! do grossly tending to abuse the honour of your bed. you think to carry off your villany with that Sir J. Villain! this instant leave my sight, sanctified air? my house, my family, for ever. Dr. C. I know not what you mean, sir; I have been in discourse here with my good lady, by permission of your worthy father. Col. L. Dog! did my father desire you to talk of love to my lady? Dr. C. Hold, good sir John; I am now recovered from my surprise; let me then be an humble mediator-on my account this must not be-1 grant it possible, your son loves me not; but you must grant it too as possible, Dr. C. Call me not dog, colonel: I hope we he might mistake me; to accuse me then, are both brother Christians.-Yes, I will own was but the error of his virtue; you ought to I did beg leave to talk to her of love: for, love him, thank him, for his watchful care. alas! I am but a man; yet if my passion for Sir J. O miracle of charity! dear sister, which I cannot control, be Dr. C. Come, come; such breaches must your sinfulnot be betwixt so good a son and father; forLady L. Your noise, I perceive, is bringing get, forgive, embrace him, cherish him, and up sir John; manage with him as you will at let me bless the hour I was the occasion of present: I will withdraw, for I have an after-so sweet a reconcilement. game to play, which may yet put this wretch Sir J. Hear this, preverse and reprobate! effectually into our power. [Exit. Oh! couldst thou wrong such more than mortal virtue? Enter SIR JOHN LAMBERT. Sir J. What uproar is this? Col. L. Nothing, sir, nothing; only a little broil of the good doctor's here-You are well Col. L. Wrong him! the hardened impudence of this painted charity Sir J. Peace, graceless infidel! Col. L. No, sir, though I would hazard rewarded for your kindnesses; and he would life to gain you from the clutches of that fain pay it back with triple interest to your wretch; could die to reconcile my duty to wife: in short, I took him here in the very your favour; yet, on the terms his villany offact of making a criminal declaration of love fers, it is merit to refuse it—but, sir, I'll trouto my lady. ble you no more; to-day is his, to-morrow may be mine. Dr. C. Why, why, sir John, would you not let me leave your house? I knew some dreadful method would be taken to drive me hence -O, be not angry, good colonel: but indeed, and indeed, you use me cruelly. Sir J. Horrible, wicked, creature!-Doctor, let me hear it from you. [Exit. Sir J. Come, my friend, we'll go this instant and sign the settlement: for that wretch ought to be punished, who I now see is incorrigible, and given over to perdition. Dr. C. And do you think I take your estate with such view?-No, sir-I receive it Dr. C. Alas, sir, I am in the dark as much that I may have an opportunity to rouse his as you; but it should seem, for what purpose mind to virtue, by showing him an instance he best knows, your son hid himself hereabouts; of the forgiveness of injuries; the return of and while I was talking to my lady, rushed good for evil! in upon us-you know the subject, sir, on Dr. C. The will of heaven be done in all Sir. J. O, my dear friend! my stay and which I was to entertain her; and I might my guide! I am impatient till the affair is speak of my love for your daughter with more concluded. warmth than, perhaps, I ought; which the colonel overhearing, he might possibly imagine I was addressing my lady herself; for I will not suspect, no, heaven forbid, I will not suspect that he would intentionally forge a falsehood to dishonour me. Sir J. Now, vile detracter of all virtue! is your outrageous malice confounded? what he tells you is true; he has been talking to my lady by my consent, and what he said was by my orders-Good man! be not concerned; for I see through their vile design — Here, thou curse of my life, if thou art not lost to conscience and all sense of honour, repair the injury you have attempted, by confessing your rancour, and throwing yourself at his feet. Dr. C. Oh, sir John! for my sake-I will throw myself at the colonel's feet; nay, if that will please him, he shall tread on my neck. Sir J. What, mute, defenceless, hardened in thy malice? things. Sir J. Poor, dear; man! ACT IV. [Exeunt. SCENE I.-A Parlour at SIR JOHN LAMBERT'S. Char. And all passed without the least suspicion? Sey. Sir John signed it with such earnestness, and the doctor received it with such seeming reluctance, that neither had the curiosity to examine a line of it. Char. Well, Mr. Seyward, whether it succeeds to our ends or not, we have still the same obligations to you.-You saw with what friendly warmth my brother heard your story; and I don't in the least doubt his being able to do something for you. Col. L. I sorn the imputation, sir; and with the same repeated honesty avow (however Sey. What I have done, my duty bound cunningly he may have devised this gloss), me to; but pray, madam, give me leave, that you are deceived-what I tell you, sir, without offence, to ask you one innocent is true-these eyes, these ears, were witnes- question. ses of his audacious love, without the men- Char. Freely. |