character but themselves. Such a crew! Ah! many a wretch has rid on a hurdle who has done less mischief than these utterers of forged tales, coiners of scandal, and clippers of reputation. Lady T. What! would you restrain the freedom of speech? Sir P. Ah! they have made you just as bad as any one of the society. Lady T. Why, I believe I do bear a part with a tolerable grace. Sir P. Grace, indeed! Lady T. But I vow I bear no malice against the people I abuse. When I say an ill-natured thing, 'tis out of pure good-humour; and I take it for granted, they deal exactly in the same manner with me. But, Sir Peter, you know you promised to come to Lady Sneerwell's too. Sir P. Well, well; I'll call in just to look after my own character. Lady T. Then indeed you must make haste after me, or you'll be too late. So, good-bye to ye! [Exit Lady TEAZLE. Sir P. So! I have gained much by my intended expostulation; yet with what a charming air she contradicts every thing I say, and how pleasingly she shows her contempt for my authority! Well, though I can't make her love me, there is great satisfaction in quarrelling with her; and I think she never appears to such advantage as when she is doing every thing in her power to plague me. [Exit. Аст ІІІ. SCENE I. SCENE: Sir PETER TEAZLE'S house. More matrimonial troubles. Sir PETER has been bitterly reproving his ward, MARIA, who has just left the room. Sir P. Was ever man so crossed as I am? Every thing conspiring to fret me! I had not been involved in matrimony a fortnight, before her father, a hale and hearty man, died, on purpose, I believe, for the pleasure of plaguing me with the care of his daughter. [Lady TEAZLE sings without.] But here comes my helpmate! She appears in great goodhumour. How happy I should be if I could tease her into loving me, though but a little! Enter Lady Teazle. Lady T. Lud! Sir Peter, I hope you haven't been quarrelling with Maria? It is not using me well to be ill-humoured when I am not by. Sir P. Ah! Lady Teazle, you might have the power to make me good-humoured at all times. Lady T. I am sure I wish I had; for I want you to be in a charming sweet temper at this moment. Do be goodhumoured now, and let me have two hundred pounds, will you? Sir P. Two hundred pounds! What, ain't I to be in a good-humour without paying for it? But speak to me thus, and i' faith there's nothing I could refuse you. You shall have it; [Gives her notes.] but seal me a bond of repay ment. Lady T. O no! there, my note of hand will do as well. [Offering her hand.] Sir P. And you shall no longer reproach me with not giving you an independent settlement. I mean shortly to surprise you but shall we always live thus, hey? Lady T. If you please. I'm sure I don't care how soon we leave off quarrelling, provided you'll own you were tired first. Sir P. Well, then let our future contest be, who shall be most obliging. Lady T. I assure you, Sir Peter, good-nature becomes you. You look now as you did before we were married, when you used to walk with me under the elms, and tell me stories of what a gallant you were in your youth; and chuck me under the chin, you would; and ask me if I thought I could love an old fellow, who would deny me nothing ; didn't you? Sir P. Yes, yes; and you were as kind and attentive — Lady T. Ay, so I was, and would always take your part, when my acquaintance used to abuse you, and turn you into ridicule. Sir P. Indeed! Lady T. Ay, and when my cousin Sophy has called you a stiff, peevish old bachelor, and laughed at me for thinking of marrying one who might be my father, I have always defended you, and said I didn't think you so ugly by any means. Sir P. Thank you. Lady T. And I dared say you'd make a very good sort of a husband. Sir P. And you prophesied right; and we shall now be the happiest couple — Lady T. And never differ again. [Both sit.] Sir P. No, never! — though at the same time, indeed, my dear Lady Teazle, you must watch your temper very seriously; for in all our little quarrels, my dear, if you recollect, my love, you always begin. Lady T. I beg your pardon, my dear Sir Peter; indeed, you always gave the provocation. Sir P. Now see, my angel! take care, contradicting isn't the way to keep friends. Lady T. Then don't you begin it, my love! Sir P. There, now! you—you are going on. You don't perceive, my life, that you are just doing the very thing which you know always makes me angry. Lady T. Nay, you know if you will be angry without any reason, my dear— Sir P. There! now you want to quarrel again. Lady T. No, I am sure I don't; but if you will be so peevish Sir P. There now! who begins first? Lady T. Why, you, to be sure. [Both start up.] I said nothing but there's no bearing your temper. : Sir P. No, no, madam; the fault's in your own temper. Lady T. Ay, you are just what my cousin Sophy said you would be. Sir P. Your cousin Sophy is a forward, impertinent gypsy. Lady T. You are a great bear, I'm sure, to abuse my relations. Sir P. Now, may all the plagues of marriage be doubled on me, if ever I try to be friends with you any more. Lady T. So much the better. Sir P. No, no, madam; 'tis evident you never cared a pin for me, and I was a madman to marry you, a pert, rural coquette, that had refused half the honest squires in the neighbourhood. - an Lady T. And I am sure I was a fool to marry you, old dangling bachelor, who was single at fifty, only because he never could meet with any one who would have him. Sir P. Ay, ay, madam; but you were pleased enough to listen to me; you never had such an offer before. Lady T. No? didn't I refuse Sir Tivy Terrier, who everybody said would have been a better match? for his estate is just as good as yours, and he has broke his neck since we have been married. Sir P. I have done with you, madam! You are an unfeeling, ungrateful—but there's an end of every thing. I believe you capable of every thing that is bad. Yes, madam, I now believe the reports relative to you and Charles, madam. Yes, madam, you and Charles are not without grounds Lady T. Take care, Sir Peter! you had better not insinuate any such thing! I'll not be suspected without cause, I promise you. Sir P. Very well, madam! very well! A separate maintenance as soon as you please! Yes madam, or a divorce! I'll make an example of myself for the benefit of all old bachelors. Let us separate, madam. Lady T. Agreed, agreed! And, now, my dear Sir Peter, we are of a mind once more, we may be the happiest couple, and never differ again, you know, -ha! ha! ha! Well, you are going to be in a passion, I see, and I shall only interrupt you; so, bye, bye. [Exit. Sir P. Plagues and tortures! Can't I make her angry, either? O, I am the most miserable fellow! but I'll not bear her presuming to keep her temper. [Exit. VIRGINIUS. JAMES SHERIDAN KNOWLES. ACT I. SCENE II. CHARACTERS: VIRGINIUS, a Roman Father; VIRGINIA, his daughter; SERVIA, godmother to VIRGINIA; ICILIUS, a young Roman soldier, in love with VIRGINIA; DENTATUS, an old Decemvir. SCENE: VIRGINIUS' house in Rome. Enter VIRGINIUS and SERVIA, with some of VIRGINIA's work in her hand. Vir. And is this all you have observed? I think To have bred such mischief in thy brain, good Servia! Serv. Serv. Then, for the V; why, that is plain Virginia. Serv. What should I find but love? The maid's in love, |