Here he is, and here I yield him; and I beseech your Grace, let it be book'd with the rest of this day's deeds : or, by the Lord, I will have it in a particular ballad else, with mine own picture on the top of it, Coleville kissing my foot: to the which course if I be enforc'd, if you do not all show like gilt twopences to me; and I, in the clear sky of fame, o'ershine you as much as the full moon doth the cinders of the element, which show like pin's heads to her; believe not the word of the Noble. Therefore let me have right, and let desert mount.

Second Part Henry IV. Act IV. Sc. 6.

I knew, when seven justices could not take up a quarrel, but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an if ; as, if you said so, then I said so; and they shook hands, and swore brothers; Your if is the only peacemaker; much virtue is in if.

Shakspeare.

For there is not through all nature another so callous, and insensible a member, as the world's posteriors, whether you apply to it the toe or the birch.

Preface to a Tale of a Tub.

The war hath introduced abundance of polysyllables, which will never be able to live many more campaigns. Speculations, operations, preliminaries, ambassadors, palisadoes, communication, circumvallation, battalions, as numerous as they are, if they attack us too frequently in our coffee-houses, we shall certainly put them to flight, and cut off the rear.

Tatler, No. 230.

Speaking of Discord.

She never went abroad, but she brought home such a bundle of

a monstrous lies, or would have amazed any mortal, but such as knew her; of a whale that had swallowed a fleet of sbips; of the lions being let out of the Tower to destroy the Protestant Religion; of the Pope's being seen in a brandy shop at Wapping; &c.

History of John Bull, part 1. ch. xvi.

The other branch of wit in the thought, namely, ludicrous combinations and oppositions, may be

traced through various ramifications. And, first, fanciful causes assigned that have no natural relation to the effects produced.

Lancast. Fare you well, Falstaff; I, in my condition, shall better speak of you than you deserve.

[Exit.

Falstaff. I would you had but the wit; 'twere better than your dukedom. Good faith, this same young sober-blooded boy doth not love me; nor a man cannot make him laugh; but that's no marvel, he drinks no wine. There's never any of these demure boys come to any proof; for thin drink doth so overcool their blood, and making many fish-meals, that they fall into a kind of male green-sickness; and then, when they marry, they get wenches. They are generally fools and cowards; which some of us should be too, but for inflammation. A good sherris-sack hath a two-fold operation in it: it ascends me into the brain; dries me there all the foolish, dull, and crudy vapours which environ it; makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery, and delectable shapes; which delivered o'er to the voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. The second property of your excellent sherris is, the warming of the blood; which before cold and settled, left the liver white and pale; which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice: but the sherris warms it, and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extreme; it ilJuminateth the face, which, as a beacon, gives warning to all the rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm; and then the vital commoners and inland petty spirits muster me all to their captain, the heart, who, great, and puff'd up with this retinue, doth any deed of courage and thus valour comes of sherris. So that skill in the weapon is nothing without sack, for that sets it a-work; and learning a mere hoard of gold kept by a devil, till sack commences it, and sets it in act and use. Hereof comes it, that Prince Harry is valiant; for the cold blood he did naturally inherit of his father, he hath, like lean, sterile, and bare land, manured, husbanded, and till'd, with excellent endeavour of drinking good and good store of fertile sherris, that he is become very hot and valiant. If I had a thousand sons, the first human principle I would teach them, should be to forswear thin potations, and to addict themselves to sack.

Second Part of Henry IV. Act IV. Sc..

The trenchant blade Toledo trusty, For want of fighting was grown rusty,

And ate into itself, for lack
Of some body to hue and hack.
The peaceful scabbard where it dwelt,
The rancor of its edge had felt;
For of the lower end two handful,
It had devoured, 'twas so manful;
And so much scorn'd to lurk in case,
As if it durst not shew its face.

Hudibras, Canto L.

Speaking of Physicians,

Le bon de cette profession est, qu'il y a parmi les morts une honnêteté, une discrétion la plus grande du monde ; jamais on s'en voit se plaindre du médecin qui l'a tué.

Le medecin malgre lui.

Admirez les bontez, admirez les tendresses,
De ces vieux esclaves du sort.
Ils ne sont jamais las d'aquérir des richesses,
Pour ceux qui souhaitent leur mort.
Belinda. Lard, he has so pesteród zne with flames and stuff
I think I shan't endure the sight of a fire this twelve-month:

Old Bachelor, Act II. Sc. 8.

To account for effects by such fantastical causes, being highly ludicrous, is quite improper in any serious composition. Therefore the following passage from Cowley, in his poem on the death of Sir Henry Wooton, is in a bad taste.

He did the utmost bounds of knowledge find,
He found them not so large as was bis mind.
But, like the brave Pellæan youth, did moan,
Because that Art had no more worlds than one.
And when he saw that he through all had past,
He dy'd, least he should idle grow at last.

Fanciful reasoning.

Falstaf. Imbowell'd !--if thou imbowel me to-day, Moll give you leave to powder me, and eat me to-morrow ! "Sblood, 'twas time to counterfeit, or that hot termagant Scot had paid me scot and lot too. Counterfeit! I lie, I am no counterfeit; to die is to be a counterfeit.; for he is but the counterfeit of a man, who hath not the life of a man; but to counterfeit dying, when a man thereby liveth, is to be no counterfeit, but the true and perfect image of life indeed.

First Part, Henry IV. Act I. Sc. 10.

Clown. And the more pity that great folk should have countenance in this world to drown or hang themselves, more than their even Christian.

Hamlet, Act V. Sc. 1.

Pedro. Will you have me, Lady ?

Beatrice. No, my Lord, unless I might have another for working days. Your Grace is too costly to wear every day.

Much Ado about Nothing, Act II. Sc. 5.

Jessica. I shall be saved by my husband; he hath made me a Christian. Launcelot. Truly the more to blame he; we

trere Christians enough before, e'en as many as could well live by one another : this making of Christians will raise the price of hogs ; if we grow all to be pork-eaters, we shall not have a rasher on the coals for money.

Merchant of Venice, Act III. Sc. 6.

In western clime there is a town,
To those that dweil therein well known;
Therefore there needs no more be said here,
We into them refer our reader:
For brevity is very good
When we are, or are not understood.

Hudibras, Canto i.

But Hudibras gave him a twitch,
As quick as lightning, in the breech,
Just in the place where honour's lodg'd,
As wise philosophers have judg'd;
Because a kick in that part, more
Hurts honour, than deep wounds before.

Ibid. Canto ii.

Ludicrous junction of small things with great, as

of equal importance;

This day black omens threat the brightest fair
That e'er deserv'd a watchful spirit's care:

Some dire disaster, or by force, or slight;
But what, or where, the fates have wrapt in night:
Whether the nymph shall break Diana's law:
Or some frail china jar receive a flaw;
Or stain her honour, or her new brocade;
Forget her pray'rs, or miss a masquerade;
Or lose her heart, or necklace, at a ball;

Or whether Heav'n has doom'd that Shock must fall.
Rape of the Lock, Canto ii. 101.

One speaks the glory of the British queen,
And one describes a charming Indian screen.

Ibid. Canto iii. 13.

Then flash'd the living lightning from her eyes,
And screams of horror rend th' affrighted skies.
Not louder shrieks to pitying heav'n are cast,
When husbands, or when lapdogs, breathe their last;
Or when rich china vessels fall'n from high,
In glitt'ring dust and painted fragments lie!

Ibid. Canto iii. 155.

Not youthful kings in battle seiz'd alive,
Not scornful virgins who their charms survive,
Not ardent lovers robb'd of all their bliss,
Not ancient ladies when refus'd a kiss,
Not tyrants fierce that unrepenting die,
Not Cynthia when her manteau's pinn'd awry,
E'er felt such rage, resentment, and despair,
As thou, sad virgin! for thy ravish'd hair.

Ibid. Canto iv. 3.

Joining things that in appearance are opposite. As for example, where Sir Roger de Coverly, in the Spectator, speaking of his widow,

That he would have given her a coal-pit to have kept her in clean linen; and that her finger should have sparkled with one hundred of his richest acres.